by Lisa Daniels
“Don’t worry about it Chadwick,” she smiled at him, “I am excited for a chance to experience things I could never have imagined.”
“No, my lady. I mean about what happened in your cabin this evening.”
“That was not your fault.”
“But you were put in my care for this trip, and I have constantly failed you.” The man’s eyes looked moist as he watched her.
Stretching out a hand, Kerensa patted the servant on his check. “Come here Chadwick.”
The man stepped close to her. She leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss on his lips. Forgetting himself, the servant wrapped his hands around her, and moved closer to her. For that moment, they ignored everything else.
When he finally stepped back, Chadwick had a sad smile, “You always were too sweet for your family. I am sorry that I could not have been the man to deserve you.”
Kerensa shook her head, “It wasn’t about deserving. It was about situation, and you could not see past it. I am just sorry that I could not have done better for you.”
“You could not possibly have done better for me or been better to me. I will forever be indebted to you.”
The young woman patted his cheek, “You talk like we will never see each other again. I am in perfectly capable hands, so you had best not go getting all depressed – you will see me again. And when you do, I hope that you will be happy because you deserve it. Let go of your past so that you can move forward.”
The servant leaned forward and placed his lips on her forehead. Without another word, he strode out of the room.
Kerensa sighed as Chadwick disappeared around the corner. When she finally remembered where she was, the young woman ran a hand up under her hat, knocking it off. “Oh, geez,” her hair spilled down her shoulders and for the first time since her talk with Chadwick, Kerensa looked at Heath.
The look on his face was one of confusion, “I thought…I mean, aren’t you…don’t you…never mind.” There was a faint blush on the man’s cheeks, “I have no idea what just happened, but that will have to wait.”
“I think I am more confused than you. What in Letera were we speaking to? Was Bree really the one who sent them, because - oh gods, yes, that does make sense. She was the one who convinced me to come on this voyage, and-”
“Stop!” Heath’s voice was firm and louder than normal, “We do not have time for this, we have to get out of here. The Sentil, or the wind demons we were just talking to are going to stop the Aeolians long enough to let everyone escape. I’m not quite sure what I should do with you because I had not planned on brining a m-hmmm,” he paused and looked at Kerensa with a curious expression, “a human with me. That will pose a unique challenge.”
“I do apologize for imposing, but it makes me feel better to know that you are not going to be in danger now.”
“What makes you think that?” Heath’s eyebrow was raised as he looked at her.
“Well, won’t you be? You won’t be fighting the Aeolians.”
He smiled at her, “They were hardly the worst part of my mission, they were just unexpected. Had I remembered that they were present, I would have taken care of them some time ago, but they have had too much time now and I cannot hope to stop them and protect the people on this ship.”
“Why do you want to help the people aboard the ship? I thought shifters did not like humans.”
“How many shifters have you known?”
“Um, none as far as I know,” her voice was faint.
“Given whose daughter you are, I’ve no doubt that you have known many shifters. It’s not like we go around introducing ourselves by our species any more than you go around announcing your gender.”
Kerensa nodded, “It’s not quite an accurate comparison since humans tend to make sure gender is obvious, but I understand what you mean.”
“Clearly you have not thought much about yourself when you say that.”
“I am an exception,” Kerensa said with a shrug.
“Is that so?” He looked down at her a little icily, “Considering I’ve met hundreds of human women who dress like men, you are not so unique as you may think.”
Kerensa frowned, “Is dressing like a man common? I’ve never heard of anyone who did it. Oh, actually I guess Bree did it.”
Heath began walking toward a different exit than the captain and Chadwick took, “I dare say you know how annoying it is to be seen for your gender, species, or other physical attribute over who you actually are. In fact, that fact is somewhat more pronounced after what I just learned.”
Kerensa looked up at him, “What is that supposed to mean? What did you just learn?”
Heath’s eyes looked down at her for a moment. They looked uncertain and Kerensa thought she saw a little fear in them, “That is something I will have to deal with later.”
“Uh?”
Heath pushed open a door and they were immediately blasted by a cold wind. Kerensa immediately put her face in Heath’s chest.
“Are you cold?” His arms pulled her close to him.
“Are you not?” She looked up into his face.
The man shook his head, “I do not get cold. But if this bothers you, then we will need to get you something else for the trip. I have something in my quarters and it is closer.”
Several people rushed past them, but none stopped to say anything to the pair as they returned to Heath’s cabin.
As soon as they were inside, Heath closed the door and placed the young woman on the bed. “Wait right there.” There was a sternness in his voice that she had only heard him use on others. Kerensa watched his back as the shifter pulled things out of a chest. He quickly closed it as he pulled a long, furry coat from the depths.
“It looked like you had a lot of valuable stuff in there. It is a shame that you have to leave it behind.”
Heath looked at the chest as he approached her, “Not at all. I just need to ask Cyprian to get it for me later. He won’t be happy, but he owes me after everything I’ve done for him.” The young woman had no idea how to respond to that, so she let the subject drop as the shifter approached her. There was no way she was going to ask Heath in his current mood how the chest could be retrieved from the bottom of the ocean.
His movements were quick and efficient as he returned to Kerensa and placed the coat around her shoulders. The shifter’s eyes were on the pendant fastening it, his face within a few inches from her own. Heath had been acting strange since the appearance of the demons, but Kerensa could not understand why.
“That should do it,” he looked at her as he finished fastening the coat.
Kerensa placed a hand on his as Heath released the fastener. “I have no idea how to thank you for everything you have done for me. You have been there for me from almost the moment I stepped foot on this vessel, but you did not know who I was. You never asked for anything in return. I thought men like you did not exist.”
Heath’s eyes searched hers before he looked away and stood up, “It was a misunderstanding.”
“What kind of misunderstanding makes people be kinder? Did you think you were dying or something?”
The man burst out in laughter, “Only you would make such an absurd leap for something so trivial as what I have done.”
“It wasn’t trivial to me. Especially when you saved me from earlier tonight. Or is rape not such a threat to your people?” Her tone was a little cold as she looked at him. It bothered her that Heath played down what he had done, and that he was now acting strangely.
“Rape does not happen among my people. It is the sign of an uneducated, uncivilized society that any of the species would consider it simply because of power or money.”
“One moment you are saying humans aren’t so bad, the next you say they are horrible and uncivilized.”
“I have never said they are horrible, only uncivilized, and based on the life you have lived, I can’t imagine you disagree with that. What you are doing is completely taboo, you know that well enoug
h to hide it from everyone else. My people view humans the same way humans view cattle or pests.”
“That is insulting!” Kerensa glared at him.
“Now you will stick up for your species?” There was a hint of interest in the man’s voice as he looked at her.
Unsure why, Kerensa could feel herself becoming upset at the man’s cold attitude toward her species. She knew that it was no different than it had been earlier, but now it bothered her. Why?
Finally, she pouted and looked out of the window, “I thought we didn’t have time for this sort of thing.”
“We don’t.” With that he picked her up and carried her out of the room.
Once they reached the deck, Kerensa again shivered in the cold, but this time it felt less cruel than before. More like a light breeze from the beech on a summer night.
She was just thinking about this as Heath spoke, “I will have to put you down. Do you think you can stand?”
“I am fine,” the young woman responded a little more curtly than she had intended.
“Good.” Though he was careful, the way Heath put her down could not have been called gentle. “Don’t scream.
“Why would I sc-” Suddenly Kerensa could not find her voice as she watched Heath transform from a handsome human into his natural state. His body grew and elongated, the muscles taking new shapes around his frame. When the transformation was complete, Kerensa found herself looking into the ice-cold blue eyes of an ice dragon.
Chapter 9
Into the Unknown
Kerensa found herself unable to move as the dragon stared back at her. Even though she had just seen the shifter change, she found it nearly impossible to believe that he could take on the form of a dragon. The form was nothing like what she had seen back in books or in the sky over Volsci. This dragon was not nearly so big as what Kerensa thought a dragon would be. He fit on one side of the ship.
Somehow his smaller stature actually seemed more terrifying. The heat that Kerensa usually thought of when someone said dragons was completely lacking. In its place was a coldness that was far scarier as it made her feel frightened and sleepy at the same time.
She had no idea how long she stared, but finally, the dragon stomped a foot. Realizing that Heath was waiting for her, Kerensa immediately found her voice and began to apologize profusely. “I am so sorry. What should I do? Should I get on one of the rafts?”
Even though the face was that of a dragon’s, Kerensa could see the look of humor and disbelief at her words. With a quick shake of his head, Heath leaned down and spread out an elegant blue wing, indicating she needed to climb on his back.
“Are-are you sure?” she whispered into his ear.
There was a loud snort, and cold air expanded from the dragon’s face. Immediately, she began to clamber up on the dragon’s back, “I’m sorry, that was… Wow.” Realizing she had nothing of interest or intelligence to say, the young woman opted for keeping her mouth shut.
Once she was settled, the beat of the wings took her breath away. Kerensa had expected to be jolted around on the dragon’s neck, but the movements were so smooth, it was more like gliding on ice. Still, as they rose higher, she leaned forward and clung to Heath’s powerful neck. For a brief moment, his motions were a little off, but she barely noticed, almost like a jolt of wind had pushed him off course a little.
Kerensa decided to talk as they travelled because the entire experience was too exciting to keep quiet.
Her face was just over Heath’s neck as she spoke, “Thank you Heath. I don’t know why you have been acting strangely, perhaps because you were afraid of how I would react to your other shape, but thank you. For everything. You have been so good to me, and I have given you nothing in return. I wonder if Bree knew you would be here. That you would be on this voyage, and that you would take such good care of me. I wonder if she knew what it would do to me. These last couple of weeks have been terrifying in some way because I kept thinking that you would get sick of me, or that you would find someone else that you wanted to help more. The truth is that I have become so dependent on you that I don’t quite understand what I'm thinking any more. That has never happened to me. It is terrifying on many levels because, well, my brain is my best asset. Without it, I’m just a pathetic little girl who could have had anything I wanted in society, but I wanted more. I have been so greedy, and since you came into my life, I have only gotten worse. I can’t imagine not having you around now. What does that mean about who I am becoming? Am I really so weak that I feel that I always need someone?
“I am quite certain that I did not feel this way before though. When I was told Chadwick would be joining me, I was furious. I didn’t want anyone to come with me because I knew it would be trouble. My father insisted on it being Chadwick, though I don’t quite understand why. Chadwick’s always been so sweet and gentle with me. There was a time when each of my sisters had a crush on him. Not at the same time, of course. I found him when he was young, just an orphan. He had stolen one of my dolls. It was a dragon.” A smile passed her lips at the memory. “Even as a child I didn’t care for the usual girlish toys. Instead of getting angry, I convinced my father to bring the boy into our home for training because I felt sorry for him. I tried to get him to keep the doll, but he was ashamed. For nearly three months he couldn’t even look at me. Slowly we grew close, mostly as he asked me advice on how to get my sisters to stop their advances. He was so cute and charming, it was difficult to convince him to do the things he needed to do. Then he started asking me about how to woo women. He was about 15 at the time, and I was only 9, so it wasn’t anything that I could understand or really help with. I knew how to upset my sisters, but didn’t have a clue how to catch a woman’s heart. It wasn’t something I had ever stopped to consider, not having ever thought about marriage or spouses myself. As much as I love my father, he was a poor example for how to choose an appropriate spouse. He hates my mother, and I can’t blame him. The entire nobility is full of couples who loath each other. I had better things to do than be a wife and baby maker for some man who couldn’t see anything else. The stories about love were just as bad because they were entirely unrealistic. Why believe in something that probably doesn’t exist when there is so much to learn and explore in the world around us? It’s simply too big and beautiful to commit to something you can’t stand. That’s what so many people around me never understood.
Kerensa sighed and leaned forward, resting her face on Heath’s neck. It was cool, but not freezing. Something about his light blue scales made her feel relaxed and comforted. She watched the water beneath them as she continued her tale. “Over the next few years after Chadwick asked for my advice, I saw him with a few girls. He was holding their hands or laughing with them with a look in his eye that I had not seen before. One night I saw him in the garden, though he did not see me. As I approached, I realized that he was not alone. Nor was he dressed. For a few moments I was frozen to the spot as I watched him and the woman…well, I hardly need to spell it out what they were doing. It shocked me, and I think I fancied that I was in love at the time. Even I was impressionable at 17, and some stupid part of me wanted romance and love.
“I spent the next few months trying to avoid him. It took him a while to notice, but one day when he saw me in the garden, I completely ignored him and ran away as he tried to say hello. It didn’t take long after that before he made sure to talk to me. I was completely emotional and stupid. I accused him of all kinds of things, and of course, he had no idea what I was talking about. I blew up at the end and told him I never wanted to see him again. When I learned that he had left our home two days later, of course I tracked him down. I started crying when I found him, and he held me for as long as I cried. That’s when I started telling him that I loved him. He was completely shocked and let go of me. He told me if that were true, then there was no way he could return to my father’s home. I don’t remember how it happened, but less than two months later he was back under our roof.
“Too afraid that talking about love would scare him again, one day I asked him to help me with an experiment. He quickly agreed, never once asking what it was. I had to make a trip to one of my father’s friend’s homes over a day away, so I had Chadwick come with me. While we were at the inn that night, I reminded him that he said he would help me with an experiment. When he asked me what it was, I told him that I wanted him to sleep with me. I thought he was going to run away, but instead he kissed me, much rougher than I had been expecting. He took me that night, and it hurt so bad. I don’t know why people enjoy doing that to be honest. It never happened again, and we never talked about it. After that, it was like everything went back to the way things used to be, I just had a completely different understanding of love. Clearly I was not cut out for something like that, and I dare say he felt the same way. He’s been with several different women since them, which makes me glad. It would have hurt to think that he had loved me.
She closed her eyes, “I don’t know why I’m saying all of this. It’s not like you are interested in my human stupidity or entitlements. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this story makes you sick. I’m so pathetic, it’s not even funny. I want to be intelligent, but I’m a woman. I want to be useful, but all I do is get in the way or get hurt. I want so much without giving back. If you have encountered a number of people like me it is no wonder you don’t like humans. We are a very pathetic creature. Gods, I hope you can’t understand me because I don’t think I can bare the judgement you are sure to have in your eyes if you do understand. The idea of driving you away is unbearable.”
Kerensa kept her face on Heath’s neck, her eyes catching all kinds of details about the landscape. She knew she should be paying attention to everything around her, but somehow she just could not bring herself to focus on it.
She had no idea how much time had passed, but the young woman noticed that they were heading back toward the ground. The place where they were landing looked like it was covered in ice and snow, but it was clearly land underneath it all. Heath was heading toward a small clearing with a cabin. Kerensa said nothing when the dragon landed. As she lowered herself off of Heath’s shoulders, the young woman forgot about her leg and landed too hard on it. As she crumpled a strong pair of arms caught her. Without a word, Heath picked her up and took her inside the cabin.
