Carlton, Amber - Trinity Magic (Siren Publishing Romance)

by Amber Carlton

  “I ne’er used to feel this way. The curse brought no shame, no sense of immorality. But you fill me with such lewd thoughts, such uncontrolled feelings. You stir my body to want such wicked things.”

  He winked at her. “What kinds of wicked things?”

  “Please stop teasing me. I’m serious.”

  “I know you are, honey. These thoughts and feelings you have are good things, Arleigh. At least we’re on the same wavelength. There are no restraints between lovers.”

  “You’re not my lover. You want me because of the curse.”

  “Goddamn it, Arleigh, stop this insanity. I want you because you’re fucking beautiful and spirited as hell. You’re everything I ever wanted wrapped into a mouthy, hot-tempered, seductive little hellcat, and I want you to start believing that. We may not have fucked yet, but I am your lover, and I’m not going anywhere. So get used to it.”

  She looked doubtful, but he tucked his hands around her face and kissed her. He tasted the tears on her mouth.

  “I want you, Arleigh Donovan. For keeps. And the next time you come, I don’t want to see tears, I want you to smile at me. Now take a nap. I think I wore you out. We’ll talk more later.”

  A small smile flickered across her lips, and her eyes closed.

  * * * *

  He slumped onto the bed and pulled off his boots. If he could have made a bigger mess out of his time on Trinity he would have liked to see it. He hadn’t yet managed to retrieve the Caindale girls. All of his bullying tactics couldn’t seem to keep Flynn away from the island. And no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t capture the heart of the girl who had stolen his.

  “It’s been less than a week,” he muttered. “What do you want? A bloody miracle?”

  That’s exactly what he wanted. He wanted Arleigh to walk through that door and admit she loved him. He wanted her to drop to her knees in front of him and beg him to be part of her life. He wanted her to touch him with the same burning need he had for her.

  “Be a writer, Kendall. Then you can make up all the fantasies you like.”

  He stripped off the rest of his clothes, dropping them into an untidy pile. He leaned over, ready to blow out the candle, when the latch of the door jiggled. Arleigh came through a tiny gap like a childish wraith, wrapped in her blanket. She slipped into his room as she had slipped into his heart and, after closing the door with a firm resolve that made him smile, she came toward him. Her eyes were bright, her cheeks flushed, but he thought there were tears drying on her face again. He had stayed away from her all day to give her time to think.

  He sat on the edge of the bed and waited, arms on his thighs, his hands loosely clasped. What did she have on her mind now? Would there ever be a time when she would be able to confront him in the daytime? When she dropped to her knees in front of him, he couldn’t help himself. He took hold of her shoulders and pulled her closer, tucking her between his thighs.

  “I want to tell you about myself,” Arleigh said. “It’s very important you understand. Will you listen?”

  He nodded. Her soft voice, her warm eyes, made his heart melt, but the tone was filled with surrender, and his heartbeat quickened.

  “I can’t stay away from you. ’Tis very important I should, but I can’t. Eventually I’m going to let you, well, you know, and I want you to know what might happen after. I’ve tried before, but when I tell you the whole story, maybe you’ll finally believe me. I need you to know the risks.”

  Arleigh dropped her blanket and climbed up on the bed. She knelt behind him and ran her hands up his back, kneading his muscles in her fingers. He groaned and relaxed under her hands. Her hair fell over his shoulder as she leaned down and kissed him on the back of his neck.

  “Cameron and I—”

  “I need to know only one thing about Flynn. Are you free? Is it over with him?”

  “’Twill ne’er be o’er.”

  Ryder’s gut twisted, but he had asked for it. He peered over his shoulder.

  “Do you love him that much?”

  “I don’t love him at all!” Arleigh wailed. Her hands clenched on his shoulders. “I want him to go away.”

  “He’s made it pretty clear he’s not going anywhere,” Ryder said. “We can’t pretend he doesn’t exist.”

  “I know, because I tried for six months. I knew he watched me, made plans. I knew I would ne’er escape him.”

  Ryder twisted around and faced her. “Stephen couldn’t protect you?”

  “He tried, but he’s dead now because of me, and ’twas such a waste, because I knew Flynn before I even came here, before I was—”

  “Did you know Flynn back in Ireland?”

  “Aye, we knew each other long ago.”

  He ran his hand down her arm. “Honey, I already know you have a warped sense of time. Long ago? What, two, three years?”

  “Hundreds,” she said. “We knew each other hundreds of years ago. Before I was—”

  She reached out for his hand. Her cold fingers twisted around his. He grabbed the blanket from the floor and tossed it over her shoulders, tucking it around her like she was a small child.

  “Come on, Arleigh. Tell me. Before you were what?”

  “I knew Cameron Flynn in Ireland. Hundreds of years ago. Before I was mortal. Human.”

  He almost laughed, but for some reason he couldn’t do that to her. He thought he’d better humor her, so he asked the most ridiculous question he’d ever heard himself ask.

  “What were you before you were human?”

  “I’ve already told you. I was the Leanan sidhe.” Her voice held sorrow, but mixed with it, a trace of pride. “‘Oh what can ail thee, knight at arms, alone and palely loitering?’ Have you wondered why the knight is sitting on the cold hillside?”

  “He’s lost his love,” Ryder said, “the love that had sustained him.”

  “No, Ryder. ’Twas the love that stole his life. After being allowed glimpses into the faery world and offered the body of the loveliest of the faeries, a price must be paid. I know, because I made men pay it. I killed them.”

  Ryder rubbed his forehead.

  “I did not think of it as killing then,” she said. “In the faery world, there is no right or wrong. We do what we do because ’tis our nature. My nature was to steal the soul, the lifeforce of the men who loved me. And there were many, o’er and o’er, season through season, for hundreds of centuries. I have lived forever, Ryder, probably since time began.”

  “You have memories of this?”

  “Aye. In pieces. In dreams and waking moments. Now, ’tis difficult to think on it. I see the human perspective and ’tis sad to me. Then ‘twas but an instinct. I needed those men to survive.”

  “And you enjoyed it?”

  “There was pleasure in it.”

  His gut twisted. “Physical pleasure?”

  “Aye, but nothing like what I’ve felt with you.”

  “So was Flynn one of these men?”

  “Aye, my hardest challenge and an obvious failure, because he managed to cheat the banshee’s call. Twice. I am still unsure how he did it, because of my banishment.”

  “Punishment for trying to kill Flynn?”

  “No,’twas punishment for loving Remy. I sought to keep him, whole and alive. ’Twas forbidden and punishment swift. The joining of the flesh had always been a part of what I was, but I had a few glorious moments of real love before banishment. I had forgotten how wonderful it felt till you came here.”

  He smiled and reached out to touch her face.

  “The feelings came flooding back when I met you. I remember the rush, the heat, the fire, the passion, the touch of skin, the wonder of the kiss, the hardness of the body against the softness of the flesh. And the smoldering love that surges through the body like a rising tide, melting into you and burning with an ache and a need that fires the blood and tingles the skin. I remember the hunger, the yearning—”

  Ryder shifted uncomfortably on the mattress. “Stop, Arlei
gh. You really believe all this?”

  “’Tis the truth.”

  “Who told you this? What happened in the Quay? Did you lose your reputation and sully the Donovan name, cause a scandal?” Arleigh shook her head. “It’s a fairy tale, honey, an attempt to control you.”

  Arleigh shrugged off the blanket and spread her arms toward the ceiling. Movement fluttered above. More faeries? When had his bedroom become inundated with faeries? She was a regular faery magnet. The tiny creatures began to glow then shot blazes of colorful fire toward her, spiraling over her body, across her skin, twisting through her hair. She glowed with every color Ryder had ever seen. They circled and buzzed for several minutes, whispering and flickering, shouting and flashing. Finally they cruised toward the ceiling and settled down into a soft, gentle glow, like Christmas lights strung from corner to corner.

  Arleigh tugged her blanket back over her shoulders and tucked her hand around his face.

  “You can see that and still wonder if I tell the truth? There are no fairy tales, Ryder. There are only true stories that have turned into legends. I know, because I am one.”

  “A Leanan sidhe?” he asked doubtfully.

  “The Leanan sidhe,” she corrected.

  “Right. I forgot. There can be only one. So if the honor’s been stripped, who is the reigning Miss Leanan sidhe, riding the float in the faery parade? Who’s wearing the crown now?”

  “’Tis my fear the spirit is still trapped within me.”

  “How many men do you think you’ve killed, Arleigh?”

  “Thousands.”

  Ryder smiled. “And you were planning to add me to this number?”

  “I would do anything to stop it, but I’ve no control o’er this. ’Tis why I try to resist everything I want and…” She lowered her eyes and worried her bottom lip with her teeth. When she raised her eyes to his, he saw pain flash through her. “’Tis why I can’t possibly love you.”

  “Do you want to love me, Arleigh?”

  “Aye,” she murmured.

  A slow smile spread across his face.

  “Then we’re going to figure it out, honey. We’re two reasonably bright people. We’ll come up with something.”

  He wanted to draw her down on the bed and prove to her nothing would happen. The urge to coax her into surrender was strong, and Ryder didn’t think she would fight him, but he still wanted it to be her choice, without reservations, without fear. Ryder stood up and began to pace around the room.

  “So how did you kill all these men?”

  “I stole their souls, their spirits, and their will to live. I’m not sure how the curse works now. The boys and men who died were all in good health. There was no withering of spirit, no deterioration of body. Yet the curse still found them, and they died.”

  “Of natural causes?”

  “Is a musket ball in the back a natural cause, Ryder?”

  Ryder stopped short. “No, of course not. I’m trying to show you these men died from other causes, not you. Who put this in your head, Arleigh?”

  “’Tis always been in my head,” Arleigh said. “As a little girl, things were happy in my home. My mother loved me and cuddled me, and my father adored me. I could do no wrong in his eyes. But when I grew older, things began to change. My mother began to speak of curses and faeries and changelings. My father laughed at her superstitions, but when she began to speak of me in the same breath, he grew angry.”

  “Your father must have been an enlightened man, Arleigh. He recognized crazy talk.”

  “He was wrong,” Arleigh said, “and he paid the price, because he became the first casualty of loving me. We lost him one winter when a wasting sickness overtook the Quay. My mother blamed me, but she had also grown afraid of me. She kept me isolated on the farm and withdrew all of her affection. After that, my world began to crumble. My mother, Alice, treated me like a boarder in my own home. She fed me, clothed me, but she rarely spoke and refused my help in anything for fear of retribution.”

  “Retribution from whom?”

  “The faery kingdom. Alice believed I was a changeling, delivered into the human world in a mortal form. She soon realized I was more than that.” Arleigh took a deep breath. “When several of the village boys died in one month, they blamed me, because Sean, Liam, and I spent all of our time together. They were my only joy, and when they both died, my heart broke. Alice said I held them under a spell, and they were dead because of the curse that follows the Leanan sidhe. Soon the entire village feared me. When Alice remarried, the curse again found my own cottage. My stepfather, well, he too found me irresistible.”

  “Your mother blamed you because the dirty bastard couldn’t keep his hands to himself?”

  Arleigh nodded. “I tried to tell her I had done nothing, but she feared for her husband’s life. She didn’t love me anymore. Not at all. She banished me from the house, but I could find no refuge. No one in the Quay would help me. Alice made sure of that. I fled to Dublin and found work in a tavern, but no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I resisted, the men were persistent, and they died. They always died.”

  “How old were you when you left the village?”

  “Fifteen, I think.”

  “You were a goddamned kid, younger than Charity!”

  Cold fury snaked its way down his spine. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to get his hands on this Alice Donovan and shake her for what she’d done to this beautiful, loving girl. He restlessly prowled around the room, and Arleigh watched him, her brows furrowed.

  “Who’s Charity?”

  “My sister,” he mumbled.

  “I thought your sister’s name was Faith.”

  “I have three of them, and I’ll tell you about them some day. I want to talk about this so-called mother of yours. She sounds like a fucking lunatic. She should have protected you, loved you.”

  “She couldn’t. She was afraid and had a right to be. I didn’t deserve her love. I didn’t deserve anyone’s love after everything I’d done.”

  “You did deserve it, Arleigh. She was your mother, for Christ’s sake!”

  “None of it matters, Ryder, because Alice had always been right. I couldn’t escape the curse. It didn’t matter if I lodged in the Quay or in the city. The men continued to want me, and they continued to die. They charged me with murder because a healthy sailor dropped dead and a witness had seen him with me. I expected to be hanged, but because there were no wounds on his body, they sent me here.”

  “So you think you still have these powers and the curse followed you here?”

  “It must have. Stephen is dead.”

  “Stephen is probably dead because of Flynn, Arleigh. Don’t blame yourself for that.”

  “I must. If Flynn had e’er forgiven me, and if Stephen had not become so obsessed with me, your brother would still be alive. I’ve always been afraid to be close to men. I have left a trail of dead men throughout all of my lifetimes, including this one. ’Tis the reason I’m afraid to be close to you. I could steal your life.”

  He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. “You don’t have to steal it, Arleigh. I’ll give it to you if you ask.”

  “I can’t ask,” she whispered.

  “Then I’m offering. Arleigh Donovan, I am offering my life to you. Take it and do with it what you will. I’m not under a spell. There is no curse. I’m giving you everything I am of my own free will. It all belongs to you. My heart. My soul. My very breath.”

  “Ryder,” she whispered, “’tis so sweet. Stupid but sweet.”

  She moved closer to him on the bed and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her hands touched the back of his neck, featherlight and warm. The coldness had left her. She lay full against him, and his body responded with that hot rush of agony he had gotten used to in this place.

  She kissed him, her mouth hot on his, moving across his lips like she searched for something. Her warm breath streamed into him, flooding his senses and causing an ache to spread
through him. He tore his mouth away.

  “Arleigh, we can’t start this again,” he said. “Not yet. We have to wait for the right time.”

  “When will it be the right time?” she asked. She pressed her body against his.

  “I don’t know,” Ryder said, “but I’ve made you cry countless times since I’ve been here. I’ve treated you like shit, and I’m feeling guilty as hell. I just can’t—”

  She ran her hand down the side of his body, and when it dipped between his legs and pressed against his cock, he groaned.

  “Now could be the right time,” Arleigh said. “Haven’t we waited long enough? In this lifetime there have been no men. No one in Ireland. No one in this colony. Not Stephen. Not Cameron. I know I should deny everything I’m feeling, but I wish to give myself to you. You’re the first man I’ve wanted in this human form. I will do everything I can to keep the curse from taking you. Do you still want me?”

  “Very much, but I want everything right between us when it happens.”

  Arleigh climbed off the bed and dropped the blanket. She pulled down the quilt and climbed under it. She pulled up the covers to her chin and gave him a little smile.

  “I’m sleeping here tonight,” she said.

  “Oh, okay, well, I guess I’ll…” Ryder glanced toward the door and rose slowly. Arleigh pushed the quilt down and patted the mattress.

  “With you, Ryder,” she said. “Come to bed. I’ve not slept with a man before. I want to see what it feels like. I want to be close to you.”

  Her eyes glimmered in the candlelight. Could he do this? He felt like he was violating her trust in him. She’d been honest, even if her tale had been a psychological mind game spun from a lunatic’s jealousy. But his entire existence in this place was built on a lie, and he had never even thought to tell her the truth. His mind told him to let her sleep alone, but he wanted to climb into bed and hold her. He needed to hold her. He blew out the candle and slid under the covers.

  He cradled her in his arms, and she tucked into the groove of his shoulder like she belonged there. She felt perfect beside him.

  “Arleigh,” he said.