“Nothin’ and nobody can keep me from comin’ back to my pretty, young wife,” he was telling her, his lips moving to her neck. He kissed her throat where the neck of her dress lay open, then moved down to nestle his face between her breasts. He made a growling sound and she laughed lightly and put her hands to his thick hair, stroking it and thinking quietly for a moment. Moss closed his eyes and enjoyed the warm, comforting feeling of a woman’s breasts—the woman he loved.
“I wish I could give you a son, Moss,” she said, suddenly sobering. “I’d be so happy and contented, if I could have my own child—a child that was just yours and mine. You’d think after all, I mean, as good as things are in bed…”
He sighed and sat straighter, stroking her hair again.
“Don’t dwell on it, Mandy. I’ve told you that before. If you never give me a child, it don’t matter. Havin’ you is all that matters. But I hope it happens, for your sake. I know how much you want a baby.” He grinned a little. “And God knows I’m trying.” She blushed and he kissed her forehead. “But God also knows what’s best, and when it’s the right time, if ever. You’ve done a lot of healin’ these past years, and not just mentally. Maybe—maybe what happened with them outlaws—maybe somethin’ got damaged, you know?”
Her eyes filled with the remembered horror, and he kept stroking her hair reassuringly.
“Mandy, I don’t mean to bring back old memories. I’m only tryin’ to make you understand some of the possible reasons. Now maybe God knows when it’s the right time for you to have a child, when your mind and your body are ready. You understand what I’m saying?”
“I…pray and pray and pray,” she gasped, a tear slipping down her cheek.
“Come on, Mandy, don’t do that. Maybe you should quit tryin’ so hard. I’ve heard talk that sometimes a woman can just try too damned hard and it never happens, you know? I don’t know much about them things, but maybe that’s so. Maybe that’s another reason why I should go away for a while. It’ll make you quit tryin’ so hard, get your mind on more teachin’ and such. And when I get back, who knows? Hell, I’ll be so glad to see you I’ll have you in bed twenty-four hours a day. You’re bound to get pregnant then, right?” He flashed a grin, and she couldn’t help but smile, at the same time reddening. How he loved her blush! His advances toward her and his remarks about making love always made her blush like a little girl, and it only made him want her even more.
“I reckon we’ll have to move the men out of the bunkhouse and let Etta stay there the next couple nights till I get some men rounded up.”
“Oh, Moss, you can’t make her stay out there!”
“Oh, yes I can. If I’m gonna be leavin’ you, I intend to have you all to myself the next few nights, woman. I don’t want to have to worry about somebody hearin’ us.”
Their eyes held, and she felt a warmth rush through her and actually blushed. Why was this man still able to make her blush? She couldn’t help but feel quietly victorious at his suggestion. Yes, Etta Landers should not stay in the house. The house belonged to Amanda and Moses Tucker. Moss was her man, shared her bed, touched only his Mandy in the night. She felt a sudden terrible possessiveness as he bent to kiss her, and she returned the kiss with great passion, fire swelling through secret places that only Moses Tucker had touched with her consent.
He rose then and took her arm; she hesitated before walking back. “Tell me the truth, then, Moss,” she told him, meeting his eyes. “You’ve decided too suddenly to leave me, this place, everything that is important to you. Such a sudden decision can only be made that quickly because you are still so full of hate for Etta, for this man called Miles Randall. You’re going just to get back at both of them, aren’t you? It’s strictly hatred and vengeance.”
Their eyes held, and his took on a defensive look. “I suppose it is, Mandy. I know it’s hard for a woman like you to understand that. But if I do this, maybe I can at least be at peace with myself once and for all.”
“And maybe you can finally get Etta Landers out of your heart?”
He could see the uncertainty in her eyes. “She’s been out of my heart for years, Mandy. Ain’t no woman in my heart but my Mandy. No woman. What I feel for Etta is a long, long way from love, and to have her beggin’ me for help feels mighty good.”
She swallowed back an urge to scream and yell and order him not to go. But no one ordered Moses Tucker to do anything, especially not his woman. She usually got her way just by being herself, by loving gently and talking quietly. But she sensed that even those things would not work this time. Her man had already made up his mind. Perhaps it was necessary after all. She loved him. She trusted him. Moss Tucker would not betray her.
“Come back to me, Moss—unhurt and still mine.”
He flashed a handsome grin. “You can count on both, Mandy. I’d die before I’d leave you or hurt you. I couldn’t live without you, and you know it.” He bent low and kissed her lightly, then turned and began to walk, his arm about her waist.
As they neared the house, they could see Etta pacing outside, one of her men walking with her. The two of them appeared to be arguing, but both quieted when Moss and Amanda came closer. Etta gazed hopefully at Moss, while the man beside her glared disgustedly. For a moment, no one said anything. Etta looked from Moss to Amanda, who had apparently been crying. Then she met Moss’s eyes again.
“You’re going to help me?”
“I’ll help,” he replied, taking his arm from around Amanda and pulling a prerolled cigarette from his shirt pocket. “But not because of any feelings I might have for you, Etta. It’s to get a chance at Miles Randall and to earn me some money. And I’d help any woman in your state, so don’t go thinkin’ it’s got anything to do with you in particular.”
His gaze moved to the man beside Etta. Moss struck a match, lit his cigarette, and studied the man’s eyes. Moses Tucker knew how to read eyes, and this man didn’t like him. The stranger was slightly shorter than Moss, but built just as broadly. He looked like the type who could hold his own in a fight. Moss guessed him to be about the same age as Etta, perhaps even younger, and he was a handsome man, with sandy hair and a firm jawline. But the contempt he held in his eyes at that moment detracted from his looks.
Etta’s eyes darkened at Moss’s remark, but she held her tongue in check. After all, he was going to help her. She looked from Moss to the man beside her, then back at Moss, noticing nervously how the two eyed each other.
“Moss, this is Lloyd Duncan. Lloyd is my top man. Lloyd, this is Moses Tucker. I’ve told you enough about him—”
“You’re hirin’ a cripple for this job?” the man interrupted, studying Moss contemptuously. Amanda’s heart ached for Moss at the remark, and Etta gasped in embarrassment. Moss seemed undaunted, as he took a deep drag on the cigarette.
“Mister, I aim to help Etta, and the only way I’m gonna be able to do that is if everybody cooperates,” he said calmly. “That goes for you, too. Till this job is done, I’m the boss. And if you don’t like it, we can have at it right now. I’m ready any time you are—my one arm against both of yours, or we can use guns. Don’t make no difference to me.”
“You’ll do no such thing!” Etta spoke up disgustedly. She whirled to face Lloyd Duncan. “You apologize for that remark, or you’re fired!” she barked at the man.
Duncan glared at her a moment, clenching his fists. Then he moved hostile eyes to Moss.
“Sorry,” he grumbled.
Etta put her hands to her waist and glowered at Duncan.
“It will be just as Moss says,” she said sternly. “Whatever Moss says, you do. Understood? I need Moses Tucker’s help.”
“You’re a fool!” Duncan snapped. “I could have handled this!”
“Then why haven’t you?” she hissed through clenched teeth. “You and Danny are the only good men I have left! The others have either been killed or ran away with their tails between their legs, and some of them were probably bought off! You’re a goo
d man, Lloyd, but Moss is better and he knows what he’s doing! So it’s his way, or you’re out!”
Duncan stood there a moment longer, then turned and stormed away, kicking at dirt and stones as he walked. Etta turned to Moss, instantly softening again and putting on a sweet smile, determined to soften the man’s hatred of her, and afraid he would change his mind about helping her.
“Oh, Moss, I’m so sorry. But I can handle him, really. He won’t give you any more trouble.” She reached out and touched his arm. “Thank you, Moss! I’ll pay you well. I’ll pay all of them well. You go and get however many men you think you’ll need.”
“Couldn’t be Duncan’s a little jealous, could it?” Moss asked matter-of-factly. “He one of your lovers?”
Etta reddened, and her smile faded. Amanda looked away, embarrassed for the woman.
“I’m not holdin’ you guilty of nothing, Etta. You’ve got your reasons for whatever you do. But I’ve got me the feelin’ you buy men with more than money. That’s just fine, if it’s what you want. But playin’ around with men’s feelings cause one hell of a lot of trouble when it comes to gettin’ cooperation from everybody,” Moss went on sternly. “And I’ll need cooperation. So you get it straight with your men that this is strictly business between you and me and nothin’ more. And I’d best not catch you tryin’ to entice any of my own men into your bed, ’cause they’re gonna need to concentrate on gettin’ this job done. I’m not gonna have them quarrelin’ among themselves over which one is your favorite! Understood?”
Etta blinked back tears, and again he wondered if they were feigned.
“Moss, I—”
“I told you I don’t blame you for nothing. I don’t know the circumstances surroundin’ your divorce and I don’t know what your needs are and I don’t care. I’m just tellin’ you I don’t want no playin’ around with my men. And I need to know where things stand with your own men if I’m to know how to handle them. Is Duncan your lover?”
“Moss!” She choked the word out, putting a hand to her throat.
“I’ll go get Becky,” Amanda spoke up, eager for an excuse to leave to lighten Etta’s embarrassment. She walked away.
“He…was a lover,” Etta replied, looking at the ground. “The other young man with me, Danny Green—we’ve never—there’s nothing between us, and he’s a good man. Lloyd and I—it was just a passing thing…”
“Well, maybe not to him, Etta. You still don’t think much of a man’s feelings, do you?”
She raised her eyes to his. “Moss, you don’t understand why I’ve had lovers. It’s not—not what you think, Moss. You don’t understand what it was like with Ralph…”
“You can explain later,” he replied, his eyes roving her body with a mixture of sorrow and disgust. “I’ve got things to do.”
Amanda folded a shirt and put it into one of her husband’s saddlebags that lay on a chair in the bedroom. He watched her, lying in bed and smoking quietly.
“Why don’t you stop that and come to bed?” he told her, more of a command than a question.
She smiled, feeling the desire awakening in her blood. The thought of their impending separation heightened their need for one another, but her own fears for his safety made her want to ignore the fact that he would leave.
“You’ll have some riding to do the next few days just to round up some men. I thought I’d pack some of your things tonight. You said you wanted to get an early start.”
“Not that early. If it means losin’ some time with you tonight, then the hell with it.”
She blushed and laid another shirt near the saddlebags. “Moss…”
“Get them clothes off, woman, and get over here. I intend to stamp you real good into my memory before I leave.”
She laughed lightly and moved toward the bed, bending to blow out the lamp.
“Leave it,” he ordered.
She looked at him in surprise. “Why?”
“So I can see you good. I want to remember every inch of you.”
She blushed more. “Moss, I can’t—”
He grabbed her wrist and pulled her onto the bed, smothering her sweet laughter with hungry kisses until she lay unresisting, returning the kisses as she helped him remove her clothes and throw them to the floor. He felt a wonderful excitement when she responded to him as she was now, whimpering when his fingers touched the silky moistness in that hidden crevice that belonged only to him. This was a far cry from the shy, inhibited girl she had been when he met her, a girl who knew nothing about men and passion. And it was also a far cry from the frightened, tortured girl she had been after her abduction and rape.
Moss Tucker had transformed her into a whole woman, bringing out her beautiful ability to respond to a man in the way only a pure, giving woman like Amanda Tucker could respond. She was such a warm, giving, generous wife, even in bed. He only wished he could put both arms around her; but it didn’t seem to matter to her that he could only support himself with what was left of his left arm, so that he could gently work his magic with his right hand. She had never seemed to be bothered by the missing arm, but then a woman like Amanda would not be disturbed by such things. He had found a treasure, and he would never give it up.
She whispered his name as his lips caressed the swollen nipples of her full, tender breasts and his fingers explored the private property of Moses Tucker. He could sense her building passion and he quickly moved on top of her, wanting to be inside of her when the final explosion of heated desire took place deep in her belly, wanting to feel her pulling him inside her with sweet abandon. He entered her with a gentle thrust, always afraid of hurting her, always finding it difficult not to push himself wildly because of his great need of her and his very deep love for her. But this was his sweet, still almost innocent Mandy. He treasured her, he adored her, he all but worshiped her, and above all he respected her and could not bring himself to use her like some kind of animal.
He felt the lovely pulling sensation then as she cried out his name and did her best to give him pleasure while enjoying her own. They were wrapped together then, two beings becoming one, each telling the other that everything was all right: that he would come back, that she would wait, that he would be true to her, just as she would be true to him. There was no doubt about any of those things. He was her man, and she was his woman, and nothing was going to change or destroy that. He released his passion and his life flowed into her womb, and both secretly prayed that perhaps this time the seed would take hold and sprout into the child she so desperately wanted.
It took four days—of sending telegrams from Hanksville, the nearest town but still some fifty miles away; and a visit to Robber’s Roost by Moss and some of his men, a thirty-mile jaunt—to gather up enough good men: men who were good with guns, men of action, with no homes or wives to hold them back. They were drifters, outlaws, some simply men always looking for adventure. Most of them had been in prison more than once; some were still wanted by the law, a few had never been in trouble. All of them respected a good woman and secretly yearned for a home and a woman of their own. But for a variety of reasons, most known only to themselves, such things had never been and would probably never be theirs. Moses Tucker had simply been one of the lucky ones.
Slim Taggart agreed to go along. He and Willie had two children now, both sons. The man’s wife, an ex-prostitute, had turned into one of the best women a man could ask for. All she had needed was the honest love of a good man, and she had found that in Slim. Willie and Amanda Tucker, although from vastly different backgrounds, had become fast friends. Now Slim, a longtime friend to Moss, agreed to join Moss’s growing band of men; for the man had secretly longed to ride the trail with old friends again, wanting—as most men do—a chance to ride free and wild once more, in spite of how much he loved his wife and family.
Pappy Lane, now sixty-five, insisted on going, even though Moss was totally against it. But Pappy wanted to prove he still had a good fight in him, and Moss knew that the man was n
ot only reliable and a good shot, but also his best friend. If all the others failed him, Pappy would not. So Pappy would go. It was difficult for Moss to say no to the man; there were still times when Moss could see the sorrow in Pappy’s eyes—sorrow the man still carried for having been the one who decided to cut off Moss’s arm. But the decision was made, and removing the infected arm had saved Moss’s life. Moss still regretted the violent, cruel words he had screamed at Pappy those first awful days after he lost the arm. He’d long since forgiven Pappy for taking the arm, which had obviously been the right decision. But he often wondered if the old man would ever forgive himself.
In the days that the men gathered at the Tucker ranch, memories returned to Amanda that she would rather have left forgotten.
“Hey, pretty lady, you’re lookin’ right good! Right good!” Johnny Pence called out to her on the third morning. Amanda blushed as he rode up on his horse and leaned over to shake her hand. “I hear tell you’re takin’ real good care of Moss.”
“I try,” she replied bashfully. Johnny squeezed her hand. He was in his late thirties now, his face leathered by years of living under the stars.
“Try, hell. You’re the most talked-about woman west of the Mississippi! And I’m right proud to have had a hand in helpin’ Moss find you a few years back. It’s damned good to see you again, Amanda.”
“It’s good to see you, Johnny. You shouldn’t have stayed away so long.”
“Oh, well, us drifters figure it’s best we stay away from settled men like Moss. Might rub off, you know?” He winked and chuckled and headed his horse for the corral. Amanda watched him. It was good to see them all again, but it brought back the memory of the circumstances under which she had met these men. Johnny, fifty-year-old Darrell Hicks, and Lonnie Drake, now about thirty—they’d all helped Moss search for her after a different breed of outlaw had captured her. But the filthy deed had been done by the time Moss and the others reached her. She was dying then. If they hadn’t come when they did…She shuddered and shook the thought from her mind. So some of the old bunch—Pappy, Darrell, Lonnie, and Johnny—would go along. She was relieved for that much. She knew Moss could depend on all of them.
Lawless Love Page 26
