He was. But he was also eager to see Heather. He was desperate to talk to her, make sure she was okay and put things right...or at least try to. But first, he had to focus on the other passion in his life. “Before you continue, sir, can I just say again how sorry I am that this happened and that I appreciate this opportunity.” He clamped his lips shut. That was it. Now it was up to them.
“Well, after reviewing your reports on the case and reading your statement and testimony, we, unfortunately, have to conclude that it was your illness that caused you to black out, therefore jeopardizing the case, as well as putting yourself and other officers in mortal danger.”
He swallowed hard. That was the toughest thing to hear. They’d gotten lucky that day, with only one officer suffering minor injuries from the shoot-out. It could have been so much worse.
“As well, your unauthorized involvement in last night’s events at the Newark dock was unregulated and unreported...and just plain stupid.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Having said that, your detailed reports and your undercover service for two years are what brought these criminals to justice, and that is not something we are prepared to overlook or disregard. You sacrificed a lot, you kept your cover, and you did good, Detective Marx. Also, after reviewing the statement from DA Cameron Ashley, it is evident that you saved her life as well as another civilian’s last night.”
Heather. What would he have done if he hadn’t been there, and he’d lost her? As much as he knew his actions went against protocol, he couldn’t regret the decision that had ultimately saved her life. Even if it did cost him his job.
He let out a slow, deep breath. He couldn’t read the situation. Was his performance prior to the incident enough to save his job?
“We have decided that you will be suspended for six months—”
Suspension? Not fired?
“—during which time you will be reevaluated by the doctors and insurance regulators. If they sign your clearance forms, you will return to your regular position.”
He couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t off the hook completely, and the road ahead might not be smooth, but he was prepared to show the force that he could return to his job.
“As per protocol, undercover assignments will be delayed.”
He barely heard the man as his heart echoed in his ears.
The committee stood, and so did he.
One by one, they shook his hand and welcomed him back, and he nodded in a daze of disbelief and gratitude. “Thank you, Detective Cable.”
The older man nodded. “It’s not going to be easy, Jacob, but we’re rooting for you.”
He was okay with that. His past mistakes would cost him, and he had to man up and make things right. In his professional life, but almost more important, in his personal life.
* * *
“YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE,” Cameron said, zipping the back of Heather’s tight-fitting, knee-length red dress an hour before Highstone Acquisitions’ Christmas party.
She sure didn’t feel incredible. “Really? Or are you lying to me like you did about Jake?” Heather turned to study her reflection in the mirror in her room at her sister’s house.
Cameron sighed. “I told you—I didn’t lie, I just couldn’t tell you the truth.” She took her shoulders and spun her around to face her. “And neither could he,” she said.
Heather understood, but it still hadn’t softened the blow. “Well, it doesn’t make me feel better. I wouldn’t have said a word to anyone.” How could her sister not have trusted her? “Maybe if I’d known you were working on such a high-profile, dangerous case, I would have been prepared to be kidnapped.” She shuddered again at the memory of the long, torturous eight hours they’d spent in the back of the van, leaning against one another and telling stories about their childhood in an attempt to ease their anxiety. She’d honestly believed they wouldn’t be going home.
“I couldn’t take the chance. I wouldn’t have even known where he was had you not dragged him to New York. Jacob took a big risk coming here for you that day. And an even bigger one the other night. But if he hadn’t...”
“Shhh—don’t say it.” Her stomach was in knots. She didn’t even want to go to the party. She was pretty sure being abducted gave her an excuse to stay locked inside for at least a few weeks, while she recovered from the trauma. She looked at her sister. “How are you not still shaking?” she asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, where her shoes sat waiting for her to slide her feet into them. Unlike her, Cameron seemed to have come out of their ordeal as though it had just been another day at the office.
Cameron picked up one of the black pumps and knelt on the floor in front of her. “Give me your foot.”
Heather complied, feeling the same way she had the day of her mother’s funeral. Numb, yet able to feel every nerve dancing on her skin at the same time. Cameron had been the strong one then, too.
“I know the risks I take when I do my job. And I was just as terrified as you were yesterday, but we’re okay now, and I refuse to let fear win.”
“Spoken like a true lawyer.”
“The thing is,” Cameron said, sliding the second shoe on and pulling Heather to her feet, “what I do is important. Keeping people safe is important.”
“But what about your family? Doing your job almost got me killed yesterday,” she said with a sigh.
“But doing my job may have saved your life a dozen times before. Doing my job means one less bad guy that could hurt Dylan or Rob or you.” She touched her cheek. “The same way Jacob does his job.”
She nodded miserably. She’d spent four days missing him now, and her realization about his need to avoid relationships had left her heart aching. He hadn’t called or texted or come to see her. Part of her had clung to the hope that he would, only to be let down even more when he hadn’t. “Well, whatever it was with Jacob is behind me now.” She reached for her coat.
“It doesn’t have to be. He asked about you.”
Heather paused, not wanting to hear the words but desperately praying they were true.
“Even with everything going on—the court case, his own future with the force on the line—he asked me how you were,” Cameron said, standing. Her sister took her coat from her and held it open.
Heather sighed as she slid her arms in and lifted her hair over the collar. “Cam, I don’t even know the guy,” she said sadly.
Her sister hugged her tight. “Okay, the choice is yours. All I’m going to say is that I want you to be happy. And I’m really glad to have you home this Christmas.”
Heather squeezed her sister back. “Me, too.” As for what would make her happy...that remained a mystery.
* * *
“HEY, I HEARD about your adventure yesterday,” Mike Jr. said, coming up behind her at the bar an hour later.
Heather jumped, rattling the ice cubes in her highball glass. Adventure? Wa3s that what they were calling it? The vodka on ice wasn’t doing anything to calm her nerves. The noise around her and all the people in the small space were making her feel claustrophobic. “It’s a story for the grandkids,” she mumbled, hoping to sound nonchalant about the experience.
“Well, we’re certainly glad you’re okay. We’re excited to have you join us at Highstone,” he said.
Good. Yes. Talking about the position might help to take her mind off other things. Forcing a smile, she nodded. “I’m excited, as well. I’ve been away from the corporate world far too long.”
Mike Jr. placed an arm around her shoulder, and she tensed. “You know, my father is retiring next year, and I’ll be taking over... I’d really love to take you under my wing, help you reach a higher level in the company.”
She suppressed a shudder. Was he hitting on her, or was he being genuine? Man, two years away from the city was making her soft. Tw
o years ago, she’d have twisted his arm behind his back the moment he’d touched her and told him what he could do with his offer. Two years ago, she might have had the same reaction and fought harder when the thug had attacked her. Being away from the city, living in a quiet, peaceful, small town, she’d really let her guard down.
She moved away from him and took a sip of her drink. “I appreciate that—thank you, Mike, but I really think I should work my way into promotions just like everyone else.”
He frowned. “Did I say something wrong?”
Had she misread the entire situation? Could he have actually just been offering to help her advance her career? She couldn’t rely on her gut instincts anymore, apparently. “No, not at all.” Great start to a new career with a new company, Heather. “Sorry, I’m just a little off today.” Understatement.
“You thought I was implying...”
Her cheeks flushed. “No. Okay, maybe. I’m sorry.”
Mike, Jr. laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I understand—don’t want to repeat past mistakes.”
She smiled, still kicking herself for having told them about Mel and why she’d gotten fired. Still kicking herself for having wasted so much of her life and career on that path. “Exactly,” she said.
“Well, you don’t have to worry. I’m married.”
Floor, just open up now. “I’m sorry...” She glanced at his hand. Yep, wedding ring. God, she should have just stayed at home, hiding out the way she wanted to. After this, she wasn’t leaving the house until New Year’s.
“I just see potential in you,” he said with a shrug, checking his watch. “Hey, did you want to go somewhere a little quieter? Talk about the plans for your position?”
“Uh...” She looked around at the party, which was in full swing. She wasn’t feeling the holiday cheer, and everywhere she looked, she saw reminders of Jake... Jacob...whoever. “Are you sure? I mean, shouldn’t you stick around?”
Mike Jr. shook his head, then nodded in the direction of Mike Sr., who was dancing to “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” with the office admin staff. “I think he’s got things pretty under control. Let’s go.” He drained the contents of his glass and set it down on the bar.
They retrieved their coats, and he helped her into hers.
Cameron shot her a quizzical look from where she sat with Rob and several other agents, but Heather just shook her head. “Thank you,” she said to Mike, following him outside.
He stepped to the curb and hailed an oncoming taxi.
To both of their surprise, the taxi stopped. “Wow, you’ll have to teach me how to do that. Two years in a small town and I think my ability to—” Heather stopped as the back door of the taxi opened...
...And Jake got out. “Heather?” He looked happy, surprised, then curious as he glanced between her and Mike Jr.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, wrapping her arms around her waist, as the wind blew strands of hair around her face.
“I...uh...” He looked at Mike Jr. “I wanted to see you. Are you leaving?”
She nodded.
“With him?”
What a mess. All she wanted was to push Jake back into the taxi, slide in next to him and kiss him—at least part of her did. The other part—the broken-hearted, betrayed, confused part—wanted him to believe that what he thought he was seeing was what he was actually seeing. She was fine. She was moving on with her life. But after a long, awkward pause, she settled for somewhere in the middle. “This is my new boss, Mike Ainsley Jr. Mike, this is...” She paused. She had no idea who this man was, and that was what tore her apart the most.
Mike Jr. extended a hand, but Jacob ignored it. “Your new boss?” he said to her. “I thought he was eighty.” The jealousy in his voice was unmistakable.
Heather glared at him and pulled Jacob aside. “Just a sec, Mike,” she said over her shoulder.
“Everything okay?” Mike hesitated, looking worried.
“Everything’s fine. I’m a cop.” Jacob flashed his badge quickly.
Heather scoffed. “And that means I’m safe with you?”
“Yes.”
“Really? ’Cause if you’ve forgotten, I was kidnapped the other day...because of you.” Technically because of Cameron, but it was also Jacob’s fault.
“Heather, are you sure?” Mike still seemed uncertain whether or not to give them privacy.
“Yes, I’m fine. I’ll be with you in a minute.” She would be. There was no way Jacob could stop her, nothing he could say to convince her to go with him instead.
Mike nodded, sliding into the back of the taxi.
“Why are you here?” she asked him.
“I wanted to see you. Needed to see you. Make sure you were okay,” he said, reaching out to touch her.
She moved away. “I’m fine.”
“I’m so sorry about what happened and about...everything else,” he said softly.
The taxi driver beeped his horn and waved at her from behind the steering wheel.
“I have to go,” she said. She couldn’t do this with him right now. Her new boss was waiting on her to go discuss her future. One without the complications of the man standing in front of her.
“Heather...just give me a chance. You know what we had was real,” he said, the pleading in his voice making her hesitate.
“I’m not sure what was real and what wasn’t,” she said with a shrug. “I understand why you couldn’t tell me the truth, and I forgive you for that. I’m just not sure I can be with a man whose life will always revolve around lies and danger.” In fact, she knew she couldn’t.
He shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded. “Okay. I understand. Sorry to have interrupted your evening.”
She sighed as she nodded. “Bye J... Bye.”
“Merry Christmas, Heather,” he said softly as she walked away.
She got into the taxi before her heart could change her mind. A merry Christmas—probably not.
* * *
WATCHING THE TAXI pull away from the curb and not throwing himself onto the hood of the car took strength he didn’t know he possessed. Jacob’s heart ached. He’d messed up, but he’d believed in her, believed in their connection enough to think that she would understand and forgive him.
And he was ready to make sure he was never again in a position that put his own family at risk, even if it meant giving up the undercover assignments. He’d always known the personal risks he was taking by going undercover with his illness. But he’d convinced himself he could do the job...and he could, but who would get hurt if he messed up again? Things had worked out this time, but next time he might not be so lucky.
Snow drifted from the awning of the bar, and he lowered his head, raising the collar of his jacket against the cold wind.
Something glittering in the reflection of the Christmas lights on the street pole caught his eye. Bending, he picked up a silver necklace with a scripted h on it. The metal was still warm, and he’d recognize the pendant anywhere.
Heather must have lost it as she’d turned to get into the taxi.
He held it tight in his hand before tucking it into his pocket.
At least he had a reason to contact her again. Christmas miracle or coincidence—didn’t matter one bit. He’d take it.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“YOU REALLY THINK you’re going to find her in this crowd?” Amber asked, shivering in her down coat, clutching Kyle’s hand on one side and Michael’s on the other as they made their way through the crush of people in Rockefeller Center the following evening. It was Christmas Eve, and the place was so packed, it was hard for them to even stay together as they headed toward the magnificent tree.
Jacob never thought he’d miss Brookhollow, but the town’s small size would have been helpful right
now when he was shuffling along looking for Heather and her family among ten thousand New Yorkers.
“I have to,” he said, peering over the tops of heads to catch a glimpse of the ice rink. She’d said her family skated there every Christmas Eve and then made holiday wishes on the tree. They had to be here.
“Why don’t you just call her?” Michael said.
And say what? Hi. It’s me again. The guy you fell in love with and who broke your heart and who now plans to stalk you? No. This conversation couldn’t happen by phone or text. Though a text would help locate her more quickly. For that matter, he wished he knew Cameron’s cell number.
“Jacob?” Cameron’s voice behind him made him stop.
His heart sped up as he turned. She stood there with her husband and a little boy—Dylan, he assumed—but no Heather. “Hi. Um... Cameron, this is my sister, Amber, and nephew, Kyle...and Amber’s boyfriend, Michael.”
Cameron smiled. “Nice to—”
Her words were cut short as Amber swept her up in a hug. “Thank you so much for getting us all home in time for the holidays,” she said tearfully.
Cameron returned the awkward hug. “My pleasure...” She looked to Jacob for help when Kyle joined in on the hug.
“Okay, guys, let her breathe,” he said, pulling his sister back.
“Sorry,” Amber said, shaking Cameron’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Michael smiled and waved.
“This must be Dylan?” Jacob said, bending slightly to talk to the kid. “Hi, buddy. This is my nephew, Kyle. I think you two are about the same age.”
“Mom, can we go get hot chocolate now?” Dylan asked.
“We’ll take both of them,” Amber offered.
“I’ll go with them,” Rob added quickly. They soon disappeared in the crowd.
“So this is a coincidence?” Cameron asked when they were alone, a knowing expression on her face.
“Not at all.” He didn’t care if he looked like a lovesick idiot or stalker. He wanted to see Heather, and he didn’t care who knew. “Is she here?”
“No.”
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