by Jarrod, Cait
Trina’s face lit up. “Thank you!” She held the blanket close to her chest and tugged Cadence’s hand until she sat on the coffee table next to the couch. She recognized the look on Trina’s face and groaned. The conversation Cadence wanted to avoid was incoming. “After the accident, I didn’t pick up on the sullenness in your tone, but reflecting, I can hear it clear as day now. You cheered me on while your heart broke. Why did you keep that from me? Not talk about it?”
“Easy, you needed to get well. Besides, by helping you, my thoughts were occupied and prevented me from going down the ugly black hole.”
“Until I moved. I’m sorry, Cadence. I should have noticed, been there for you.”
“Don’t be. I would have smacked you silly if you didn’t go after Matt. You needed him.”
Trina squeezed her hand. “You really are a good friend.”
“So are you.”
Her friend’s face turned even more solemn. “I love you, and I will always be here for you. You can’t lose me, yet you can lose the only man you’ve ever cared about if you don’t get yourself together.”
The same words Cadence had used on Trina when she made a monumental mistake with Matt. “You know it in here.” Her friend touched Cadence’s chest with her finger. “That he’s there. You’ve always known. My fear is Bradley won’t recover. That your reckless behavior and refusing to face reality, you’ll—”
“Ruin my chances,” they spoke in unison.
“So.” Trina wiped her face and sat higher against the end of the couch. “Get your ass in gear and get your big bang love!”
The big bang love. A concept she’d forgotten long ago. For years, she’d buried the truth of how much she enjoyed Bradley’s closeness and that his presence gave her strength. So odd to live inside her body and mind and not know herself, to not be aware of what her soul needed to survive and make it happy. “I’m working on it.” Her mind drifted to sharing a bed. Feeling his warm body, his heartbeat in her ear, he filled the emptiness she struggled to avoid. The big bang love dangled before her.
Trina winked. “I have complete faith you’ll get there.”
With her tablet tucked inside her purse, Cadence kissed her best friend’s cheek and made her way toward the parking lot and her first outing, with no other motivation than relaxing with a good book beside a fire.
As if her presence sent molecular energy, Bradley, sitting proudly in Thor’s saddle inside the round pen, stopped and eyed her. Her horse’s ears even went on alert. She finger waved and moved toward her car then stopped. Taking Thor for a ride would be much better.
“Hiya!” she said, stopping at the training pen, and sent Bradley a half-cocked grin. “Any chance I can talk you out of your horse?”
“Every chance, sweetheart.” Laughing, he slid off as she climbed the fence and greeted her stallion, her dear horse that had grown right along with her.
Together, she and Thor found their footing. The nights she spent in the stall with him talking, and him neighing, helped her work through her scrambled thoughts. They’d connected the day Thor moved close and stared into her eyes when she was a puddle of tears. She kissed the bridge of his nose and stroked his forehead. “I love you, Thor.”
Bradley stilled; he didn’t say a word, but she felt his eyes on her and sensed something more coming from him, too. She leaned the side of her head against Thor’s face and gazed at the man who occupied her heart. His wholesome expression, along with the tears he tried to hide, filled her soul. They had more to work out, more to discuss, but no doubt she stared into the eyes of her big bang love.
“Let me help you,” Bradley said as she placed a foot into the stirrup. Not that she needed it, but she enjoyed his hand on her butt. “Want me to hang onto your purse?”
“Yes.” She tugged out her tablet, stuck it inside her coat, and gave him her purse. “Thanks.”
“Meet me at the gate.” He jogged to the barn as she guided Thor to the far end of the pen. His ears stood straight up. Riding Thor for the first time in an open field brought little worry. The two of them were in sync, and every instinct she held told her he would do great.
“Here.” Bradley tied a thin blanket to the back of the saddle and opened the gate. “I’ll be waiting at the house when you get back.”
She nudged Thor with her heels, and exited the pen. The gate snapped closed, and Cadence lifted her chin to the sky. This was her, with the open countryside and the crisp air drifting over her. On her horse, feeling in tune with nature, she did what she’d dreamed of doing since she allowed her mother to buy her a magnificent, untrained stallion. She gave him the command to run.
Thor moved forward in a smooth canter. When she felt secure, she gave him the nudge to pick up the pace. She hunched her shoulders slightly, put weight in her stirrups, and hung tight with her thighs. The wind blew through her hair and the cool air stung her face. She never felt so alive, so vibrant, and so thrilled just to exist.
Reaching the stream in front of the mountains, she leaned back with her weight in the saddle and brought Thor to a stop. The sensation that someone watched struck her, and she scanned the area. In the distance, no bigger than an ant, she made out Bradley’s figure still standing at the gate. He waved, and she waved back before he disappeared from view. She let out a shaky breath, leaned over, and hugged her horse’s neck. “Thank you.”
Thor snorted as if he understood. He probably did. The idea of finding a place to sit and read didn’t sound as good as hanging out with her horse, letting him lead the way. “Let’s walk.”
****
Feeling blessed with the direction his life headed, Bradley settled on the floor against the couch and sipped his bourbon. Anticipating a romantic evening, he lit a fire in the hearth and warmed hot chocolate on the stove in the kitchen.
Ever since he discovered she’d spent time with her horse, her actions proved she was on the road to recovering, but tonight… Tonight, watching her interact with Thor, there was no question Cadence’s spirit had returned.
The door creaked open, and he closed his eyes, thankful she’d returned quickly. “Hey there, big guy.”
She’s back! She’s fucking back! He lifted his glass in a silent toast, downed the rest of his drink, and got to his feet to kiss her square on the mouth. She smelled clean, fresh, and pure like the mountain air. “Howdy-ho-ho,” he said against her lips.
Laughing, she playfully punched his arm. “Something smells good.”
“Hot chocolate.” He moved into the kitchen and set his glass in the sink. “Want some?”
“That was nice of Trina. Where is she?”
“Bite your tongue. I’m the hot chocolate guru in this family.”
“That’s right.” She stepped over to the stove and used a ladle to pour some into a mug. “Do you want some?”
He held up the bottle of bourbon. “Nah. I’m good. I’ve had enough though.”
“You never were a big drinker.” She headed to the family room and kissed his cheek on the way past.
“Nope.” He sat on the floor and leaned against the couch, and like a couple that’d been together for years, she settled between his legs and rested her back against his chest. “I like staying clear headed.”
“In that case, we’ll never last. I like a good buzz.” Enticing eyes gleamed emerald as she peeked up at him. Doing his darnest not to lose himself in them, he ground his back teeth. More things about their past, particular his, needed discussing. “We should talk.”
“I probably need a shot of alcohol for this conversation.” She didn’t get up; instead, she twisted until her shoulder nuzzled his chest, her focus on the fire. “But let’s chat.”
The lilt in her tone was laced with sarcasm. He may have initiated the conversation, but she planned to control the direction it went.
“Remember your blind date from hell?” She paused for what he assumed was effect. He’d rather forget. “The date wrecked your snowmobile then the cops came,” she said in betwee
n fits of laughter.
“Hey now! The cops came because you and my lovely sister told the emergency room nurse that the girl’s abrasions were punishment for arriving late for our date.”
Cadence sighed. “That was priceless!”
“Not hardly.” Nightmares from having his hands twisted behind his back and shoved into a jail with a thug name Bertha commanded his sleep for weeks afterwards. First you arrange the date—”
“That wasn’t me. Trina did it.”
“Whomever, you’re one in the same.”
She wiggled her butt against his never-ending erection. “I assure you, we’re not.”
“That’s not what I mean.” He kissed her cheek, wrapped his arms around her, and squeezed. “Then you two demanded we all go snowmobiling, when you knew full well how egotistical—”
“Bitch is the word you’re looking for,” Cadence supplied and lifted a finger. “I own that one.”
Bradley eyed her and shook his head. “That girl acted invincible. Didn’t listen to a thing I said. I told her about the big drop near the woods, but she took no one’s advice. Six stitches in her right arm from hitting a rock.”
“That wasn’t so funny,” Cadence was quick to say, “but I didn’t cause her crash.”
After blaming herself for the accident, he wondered if she’d felt responsible for that one, too. “Nope. That was all on her. However, you are responsible for my arrest. Why did you tell the nurse I hurt that girl? Hell, I can’t even remember her name.”
“It was Bitch, and simple, I was jealous.”
The blind date happened when he was twenty-one, making Cadence and Trina eighteen. Matt had been deployed months prior. Bradley did everything to help distract his sister from missing Matt, which included going on a blind date with Trina’s friend. But he only went with the condition that Trina went too. And since her and Cadence were basically inseparable, she tagged along.
Later, after Cadence convinced the cops they were joking, and the girl confirmed it, they released him. On the way back home, he dropped the ticked girl off at her house, and then the three of them went to Cadence’s quiet house. That night, like now, she stuck to him like glue, but he never thought anything of it. “If only I knew back then how you felt.”
“If only,” she snickered. “In the last two years, I have said those words too many times to count. I’m done with it. No more second-guessing.”
“As you wish. I made hot chocolate for you then, too.”
“You did. I mess up and you spoil me.”
“I don’t see it like that. I liked putting a smile on your face. Still do.”
She stared at him, her expression serious, yet desire sizzled just beneath the surface. The longer she watched him, the harder breathing became, until she diverted her attention to the fire. “As you know, my parents fought, cheated, did everything two people in love shouldn’t. It scared me. I was afraid their behavior was like an addiction. So, I did whatever I could to stay emotionally detached from anyone I liked.”
He wanted to say he understood, because to a point he did. He just didn’t take the emotionally detached thing as far as Cadence, but he sensed coming clean with her reasons why she did things hadn’t come easy. So he stayed quiet.
She placed her mug on the floor and buried her head into his chest, a moment later his flannel moistened. “I was scared,” she said against him, muffling her words. “I have only wanted you. I wasn’t strong or sure-minded as Trina. Early on, she knew Matt was the man for her and never denied it.”
Whoa! She never gave him any indication.
She drew back and stared at him, her gaze incredibly open, trusting. “I acted foolish and let years slip by.”
He wanted to kiss her so badly, but he sensed the need to convince her to stop blaming herself for whatever went wrong. “Stop piling the heavy load of responsibility on your shoulders.” He tapped a finger to her nose to lessen the sternness of his voice. “The timing was off.”
Her face lit up with a lop-sided grin. “Make ya a deal. You stop being easy to get along with, and I’ll stop taking responsibility. Between the two of us, we’ll get lots of accomplished.”
“Think I’m easy?”
“I know first-hand.” Cadence’s eyes sparkled with mirth. “I’ve got another idea.”
“Oh, jeez.” On her glare, he cleared his throat. “Go.”
“Let’s make a bucket list.”
“A bucket list?”
“Yeah, you know, a list of things you want to accomplish before you can’t.” She wrote on an invisible piece of paper.
“I know what it is. I’ve never had one.”
“Come on, everyone does.”
“Not me. If I write a list then I set myself up for disappointment.”
“Fine, then listen to mine.”
“This I’ve got to hear.”
“You’ll like my first one.” She smirked. “Have sex on horseback.”
He squinted and tried to picture doing just that. “Bareback with you facing me.”
Laughing, she turned and straddled him. “Like this.”
“Oh, yeah.” He gripped her butt and tugged her closer. The minx wiggled. “You’re killing me.”
“I have a remedy.”
He did too, but he still hadn’t come clean about his past. “Tell me the rest of your list then there’s something I need to tell you.” A bad feeling crept up his neck that she wouldn’t be happy when she heard his confession.
Her eyebrows squished together, but she didn’t question. “Number two. Feel good about myself.” She went quiet. The light in her eyes disappeared, and her mouth smooched together. “To forgive myself.”
And there it was, the thing that would stand in their way of having a healthy relationship. He slid his hands into her dark, silky locks and gazed into her beautiful eyes. “You will. Give yourself time.” Then he brought his mouth to hers and kissed her, long and slow, as he slid his hands around her back. Latching on the back of his neck, she pressed her wonderful curves into him. The kiss turned hot, deep, and begged for more.
“How’s it going?” Matt rushed by them into his room. A second later he came back. “You guys doing okay?” He never stopped to wait for a reply.
“What’s up?” Bradley asked.
“The babies are coming.” Matt raised his voice came somewhere near the door.
“Babies? What??” Cadence bounced off him, hand to crotch, crushing his erection.
“Hopper got a jill pregnant.”
Cadence sent Bradley a puzzled look before heading out of the house. Groaning, he got to his feet, did the bowlegged shuffle, and followed.
****
April brought in clear skies, but today the overcast sky stole the sun. Cadence breathed in the fresh air then waved at the children giggling and petting the furry animals. When the baby ferrets grew a little larger, Autumn planned to have a “show and tell” with a few children at a time. Cadence imagined their faces would light up more at petting the young miniature donkey.
At the end of the path, running between the garden nursery and the petting zoo, Thor neighed. His head peeked over the top board of the pen and nodded as he waited for her, or for the banana she carried in her pocket. Since the bananas kept mysteriously disappearing out of the barn, she started leaving them in the house to keep count and refill the supply when needed.
“Hi.” Trina stopped her on the path toward Thor. “Want to have a cup of coffee?”
“Sure. I’ll be right there.” After few minutes hanging out with Thor, she fed him the banana and went back to the house to meet Trina.
“Just in time.” Her friend placed two cups of coffee on the wooden kitchen table. After sharing an apartment together during college, Trina knew how she drank it. “Thank you.”
“Am I late?” Autumn scooted inside carrying a box in one hand and an excited Hopper in the other. Her long hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and her face glowed almost as much as Trina’s. She set him
on the floor, along with the key to his outdoor cage. He immediately went into his war-dance routine, hunching his back and skipping sideways, as she lowered the box containing his family.
“The babies!” Candace and Trina cooed in unison and knelt beside them.
“The slinky, two-inch-long little speedbumps will eventually have the same markings as their sable parents, dark coloring and masked faces.” Autumn touched one of their backs. “Right now, they have peach fuzz.”
“What a happy, little family.” Trina scooped up one in her hands and put it back when it made an odd noise.
“For now, yes. I’ll have to keep an eye on the parents.” Autumn petted each of the six little ones with a finger stroke. “If a ferret gets scared, there’s a chance they’ll kill their young to protect them.”
“So will you get into the business of breeding ferrets?” When Cadence had stayed cooped up in her room, refusing to come out, Hopper visited her every day. She’d grown attached to him, and now with little hoppers available, she wanted one. “Can I have first pick?”
Autumn smiled. “I’ll ask the owners.” She looked at her sister-in-law. “How about you?”
Trina waved her hands. “No. My baby is all I can handle at the moment.” As if on cue, Cadence and Autumn touched her stomach. “Your belly is tight,” Autumn said. “Not much longer.”
“I need to make it through the engagement party.”
Cadence fell back on her butt. “I forgot.” She’d been so busy trying to get her life in order, she hadn’t kept her schedule straight. “That’s this afternoon. I need a dress.”
“Check out my closet. I can’t wear any of it.” Trina offered. “I have a misty lavender dress that will look beautiful against your dark hair and bring out your green eyes.”
The idea of Bradley seeing her dolled up shot excited prickles over her skin. “Perfect!”
“Trina, I can’t thank you enough for throwing me and Travis this party.” Autumn sniffled and bit her bottom lip. “I never thought I’d feel like I’d belong somewhere as much as I do here.”
Trina squeezed her future sister-in-law’s hand. “You do belong here. I’m very excited about having you for a sister.”
