“But, I’d still have you to come home to at night, and we could be like this.”
“Except a lot of my nights would be spent grading papers and making lesson plans. Just because a teacher walks out of the school at three or four in the afternoon, doesn’t mean they don’t have hours of work ahead of them before the school day starts again.”
“Really?” I just thought they went home, did family stuff and went back to work the next day like everyone else with a job.
“Yeah. The only real downtime teachers ever get is when they get the summers off, and that’s only if they don’t take a summer job to help supplement their income because teachers don’t make a ton of money.”
“So, even though we could be together, we might be spending even less time doing things together.”
“At least in the beginning. I’m sure my first year is going to be hard as I build on what I need to teach.”
“And my days and nights will be filled with the shop.”
“Alex, this is a wonderful opportunity. Do not let it go because you want to be with me, three hours away. You’ll spend more time sitting around waiting for me to be free than you will doing things with me.”
“What if that’s fine with me?” Though after a while, I would get antsy and wonder if I hadn’t made a huge mistake, even if Kelsey is in my bed every night.
“I won’t let you come with me, Alex.”
“What? Why?”
“You need to do what is best for you. I need to do what is best for me. That is the only way we will know that it is best for us.”
“Separated?”
“Otherwise someone is giving something up that they want or need to do.”
“Couples do compromise,” I remind her.
“Not on stuff this big.”
She’s right. I sigh and roll onto my back. “Come here.” She scoots closer and lays her head on my chest. Kelsey is perfect for me. Physically and emotionally. How can I even consider a job that will keep me from her? “I don’t know the first thing about running a business.” That is what scares me. There are rules, laws, all kinds of things to know, especially about running a tattoo parlor.
“You were going to go back to school, right? Instead of teaching, maybe you should work on a business degree.”
Business degree? That hadn’t even occurred to me, but it makes complete sense.
“Rent from Martha for now, let her lawyer do all the legal and official stuff while you get your degree. By the time you are done, maybe you’ll be ready to buy it from her, or you’ll know by then if you don’t want it.” She tilts her head up and looks at me. “You’ll never know until you try. And, if you don’t, you’ll always wonder what if. I don’t want to be part of your what if equation. We will be together without sacrificing anything really big, or we won’t be together at all. At least, not down the road.”
She settles against me again, her naked thigh, free from her fluffy robe, over my legs, and I am all too aware of how naked she is under that robe. So much so that I can hardly think straight.
“Just think about it, Alex.”
As much as I want to give up my position at Baxter, stay here with Alex, and hope for the best, I won’t. The future is too precarious, and right now, we both have a future, jobs, income and stability. I remember all too well wondering where my next meal was going to come from, or where I’d sleep on any given night, and can’t just let go of needing to be settled. I could stay here, and I doubt the guys would kick me out, but what happens when I can’t make rent? They may say nothing, but it will weigh on me.
Alex and I both need to take the path we need to, even if it means that we will be three hours from each other. It’s necessary for us individually, and as a couple.
“It’s really hard to think about anything with you, here, with me, like this.” He smooths his hand over my naked thigh.
‘I’m sorry. Let me put something on.”
“Please, don’t.” Alex yanks at the tie holding my robe closed. “Let me love you, Kelsey.”
He slips his hand inside my robe and caresses my breast. My nipple hardens immediately. “I won’t go in, but I need to love you.” His thumb brushes across my erect nipple, and my girly parts begin aching.
Alex sits up and rolls me to my back, then comes over me, sitting and pushing my robe open, leaving me completely naked. Nobody has seen me naked in years. I want to cover myself from the waist down, but Alex is straddling my thighs, his knees pinning the sides of the robe to the bed.
“God, you are beautiful.”
My whole body heats, and I’m not sure if it is embarrassment, desire or both.
“Let me love you, Kelsey.” His dark eyes look into mine. “I need to love you because I do love you.”
I lift my arms to bring him to me. “I love you too.”
Alex bends, taking my lips, delving, tasting, thrusting, as he caresses my body from hips, to waist, to boobs and back, as if his hands are learning every dip and curve, leaving a scorched path in his fingers’ wake.
“Love me, Alex,” I say as he trails his lips down my neck.
As his lips latch around a nipple, heat shoots to my pussy, and I groan as I arch.
This shouldn’t be one-sided. I should touch and kiss him too, but Alex has overwhelmed me so much, all I can do is lie here and take, accept, get lost in his touch and lips.
My muscles tighten as his lips trail across my stomach, heading south as he gently pushes my thighs apart. He pauses, just above my pussy, and I glance down, trying to gain control of my panted breathing and meet his eyes just as he enters, his fingers stretching and moving, and I’m lost, dropping my head back against the pillow, riding the waves as he parts my folds and lowers his mouth.
“Oh, Alex,” I moan.
His fingers work magic, as does his tongue. I grab the blanket on my bed, fisting them in my hands, anchoring myself from flying away as the pressure builds. My moans are growing louder, but it’s as if I’m not connected to them and they are coming from somewhere else as my womb tightens, coils and the pressure grows in my clit right before the orgasm bursts, springing through me as I cry out again as waves of release wash through me.
Alex slowly brings me back to earth, withdraws his fingers, looks up from between my open thighs and grins.
Damn! That was awesome. Her response, her orgasm, her voice calling my name. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed totally giving and bringing a release this much in my life. And, as soon as she recovers, I might just do it again, and again.
So fucking beautiful and in that moment, I know in my gut, that being with Kelsey like this, will never, ever get old. And, I know that I want her in my life forever.
The emotion is so overwhelming that I have to look away. We will make this work. We have to make it work. Three hours is doable. Lovers have suffered longer separations and lived even farther apart.
I move up the bed to lie next to her and Kelsey rolls toward me, hooking a naked thigh over my hip. Thank God my jeans are still on because it would be too easy to slip into her. But her vagina is off limits to my cock. I get it. I understand it. I won’t even ask. But, that doesn’t mean it isn’t what I want. In time, her vagina will be mine too, and I’m content to wait. I’ll wait forever if I have to. Being with Kelsey is more important than being in Kelsey.
She grabs my face, pulls me close and kisses me while she rubs her pussy against my jeans. I might just come in my pants. It was nearly a close call when she cried out my name.
Kelsey pulls back and looks into my eyes.
“You aren’t the only one who has been thinking about things.”
I don’t dare hope it’s sex. Even if it is, I’ll talk her out of it.
“I do love you, Alex.”
“I love hearing you say that.”
“And, I want more.”
“No. You are not going to change your mind.”
She puts her finger against my lips, silencing me. “My earlier decision was made ou
t of fear. I want you. I want this. I was running in fear and not exactly rational.”
“Going with the 100% is rational, Kelsey.”
“Alex, go into my bathroom, top drawer on the left.”
“No Kelsey.”
“Please, Alex.”
My heart melts. I want her, she’s asking, and my defenses are down. My denial wasn’t for me, but for her. If consent is a question, I’m a hell yes. It’s Kelsey I worry about.
“Go.” She pushes me away from her.
Doing what she asks, I go into the bathroom and open the drawer. It’s filled with condoms and sponges.
“Bring one of each,” she calls. “Unless you think we need more.”
Shaking my head, I chuckle. I don’t have the strength to deny her. Grabbing a sponge and a condom from their boxes, I walk back into the bedroom. “What about your 100%?”
“The sponge is like 92 and the condom is like 82, so that’s over 100.”
“Kelsey?” I meet her eyes. “Are you sure.”
She holds out her arms. “Never more sure.”
Standing there I can only stare. Her beauty, her honesty, her hot naked body on the bed and my cock gets even harder. I didn’t think it was possible.
“But, you should get naked first.”
I don’t think I’ve ever undressed so fast in my life, leaving a trail of clothing from the bathroom to the bed. I stop at the edge of the bed, the V between her feet, and roll the condom over the head of my cock, before crawling toward her. When I reach her pussy, I part her folds, find her opening and gently push the sponge in until it’s seated deep inside.
My eyes meet hers. They are dark, intense. “Are you sure?”
She lifts her hips. “Take me, Alex. Now.”
My cock jumps at the command. Leaning forward, I place my hands on either side of her and kiss her deep as I sink into heaven, groaning against her lips. I’m as deep as I can go and don’t ever want to leave.
Lifting my head I look at her. “You have no idea how much I love you.”
“Or me, you.”
I pull back and thrust. She meets me. Slow, steady, passion pulsing, but I hold back. This is too perfect. Too wonderful. I don’t want to rush. I don’t want this to end.
Kelsey’s moans meet mine. Her vagina squeezes me and my balls tighten in response, and as much as I want to hold back, it’s impossible and just as she arches and cries, I come. Hard, moving and pumping, riding the waves of an orgasm that makes my toes curl.
Wow! My heart is still pounding, hard. No wonder there are warnings on some drugs to make sure your heart is healthy for sex. If I wasn’t healthy, I’d probably be having coronary failure right now. “Thank you.”
His eyes narrow. “That wasn’t pity sex again was it?”
“Yes.”
Alex starts to pull back but I hold him close. “I took pity on me this time.”
Slowly he relaxes and pulls me so that my head is resting on his chest. I love laying here like this with him. When it’s just the two of us in bed, all is right in the world, at least for a little bit.
“Kelsey, I know you are afraid, and if you start freaking out waiting for a period, we won’t do this again.”
“I don’t think I could not do it now that we have.” It was easier not knowing what it would be like with Alex. Now that I know, it’ll be impossible not to have sex with him every chance I get.
“It will be hard…pun intended, but we will make it work. I don’t want you stressing.”
I tilt my head back and look at him. “I’m in a different place now, Alex. I won’t have to make the same decisions or sacrifices.”
“But there are also no guarantees,” he reminds me, and I settle back, staring across the room, listening to his strong heartbeat.
“I also know when I ovulate. I’ve made a science of learning. It’s easy since I’m as regular as a clock.”
“What do you mean?”
“Every fourth Thursday at ten a.m. I can count on my period arriving.” She snuggles close. “Being regular helps, but I’ve also learned all about ovulation, what my body does, which I can explain, but you probably don’t want to hear about my vagina and mucus.”
“So, rhythm method?”
“Yep, that’s another 75%.”
“You do realize that all three together don’t make 100%,” he warns. “The best you got is still only 92%.”
Is Alex trying to tell me that he doesn’t want to have sex again? Is that what this is about. Even though it was awesome for me, it might not have been for him. Is this his way of getting out of sex without hurting my feelings?
“When is your next fourth Thursday.”
“This Thursday.”
“Merry Christmas.” His chuckle rumbles against my ear on his chest.
“In this instance, it’s a gift I’ll be glad to get.”
Alex sobers again. “See. You are going to worry, which is why we shouldn’t do this.” He pulls me close, kissing the top of my head. “After today, it will be near impossible not to have sex with you when we can. I don’t plan on anything happening, but I don’t want you panicking or worried that history will repeat itself.” He runs a hand down my arm.
“I’m not going to worry because we are going to be careful. As soon as I start my period, I’m also going to start the pill.” Unless he doesn’t want to have sex. “Unless you don’t want to do this again.”
Alex stiffens and pulls away, looking down at me as if I’ve lost my mind. “Why would you even think something like that?”
“Because now that we have, you are the one saying it was a bad idea.”
Again he chuckles. “Only because I don’t want you wigging out every month.” Then he pulls me close. His dick is hard again already. “I don’t think I’ll ever not want to have sex with you.”
“We’ll still be having sex then?” I slip my hand down his chest, slowly moving lower to his cock.
Laughter rumbles in his chest. “I know we will be because I’m not sure one lifetime is enough time with you.”
“Two semesters? Are you sure?”
Kelsey and I headed to the university this morning to check out schedules, classes, and requirements for a business degree. Even though the students are on break, the administration and academic advisors are working today. I hadn’t expected to get so lucky.
“From your transcripts, and what you’ve already taken, you can get it done in two, three at the most,” the advisor tells me.
“This is perfect,” Kelsey says. “You control your own work schedule so it will be easy to schedule around classes, studying and homework.”
“Except, I won’t see much of you.”
“I’ll be student teaching and working on papers at night. We’ll still be together, working.”
Two college kids, studying together every night. “We better make sure we study in the dining room,” I tell her as we leave the school, after signing up for classes.
“Why?”
“We’ll be too close to a bed in your apartment or my room.”
“Study first and play later, if we aren’t too tired,” she teases me.
“Yeah, that would have been a hell of a lot easier to do before last night.”
She chuckles. “You have a point.” Then she leans in and kisses me. “No regrets?”
I turn and pull her into my arms, kissing her deeply, wishing we were back at the brownstone right now. “Never.”
“Bookstore?”
It takes a moment for the fog in my brain to lift since I had every intention of heading to the subway and going home and back to bed with Kelsey.
“Bookstore?” she says more slowly.
“Well, I guess I need books if I’m going to actually learn anything.”
She tugs on my hand and pulls me across campus. Kelsey says hi to some of the people working there as she heads straight for the business section and holds out her hand. “List.”
I give it to her and she grabs each book
I need as if she has the shelves memorized. Perhaps she does. She did work here for three years.
She keeps adding to the stack in my arms and the weight of the books gets heavier and heavier. This is the part of school I don’t like. But, if I am going to be serious about Martha’s offer, I need to prepare as best as I can or I will only set myself up for failure.”
“That’s it,” she grins at me.
“Notebooks, pens, pencils,” I suggest.
“Not here and not at these prices,” she whispers. “We’ll hit a discount store after Christmas.”
After the cashier bags the books and I practically choke on the amount, Kelsey leads me back out to campus.
“Where to?”
She grins. “Home of course.” Her brown eyes darken. “We need to make you a study area, and if it happens to be in my apartment, not far from my bed…”
“I thought we decided that wasn’t a very good idea.”
“School hasn’t started yet.”
“Hope you got clothes on,” Joy calls as she’s pounding up the stairs to my room. Maybe I should check to see if there is a way to lock my door.
Alex groans and pulls the covers over his head. “What time is it?”
I glance over at the clock. It’s only 7, in the morning. We didn’t get to bed until after 1 sometime. The girls all arrived at once last night. After a dinner of roast chicken, garlic potatoes, salad and a delicious chocolate dessert, prepared by Dylan of course, we sat around talking, drinking wine and taking turns dropping candy in stockings while everyone closed their eyes. All part of their Orphan Christmas.
By their junior year, the guys had moved into a house, and Sean had decorated a tree as part of a decorating and design class and brought it home. They haven’t gone without a tree or stockings since.
The bed bounces as Joy lands in the middle of it, barely missing me and Alex. Two more bounces and I blink up to find Alyssa and Mia with her. They are grinning like three little girls waiting to find out what Santa brought them.
They haven’t even dressed but are still in their pjs. Mia is the only one wearing a robe. None of them have brushed their hair or put on makeup. They are still cute, and I’m sure I look horrible. My hair has got to be sticking out everywhere. After Alex followed me up here, he stripped me and had me against the wall and then in the shower. I’m not sure I even brushed my hair out before we fell back in bed.
Still Rattled Page 22
