by Ami Weaver
The teasing look fell from Colleen’s face. “Oh, Callie. I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay, really. I didn’t know him that well. He’s army. Or he was. I don’t know if he’s in anymore.” She paused another second. Would he have moved into a house so far from an army base if he was still in? It didn’t seem likely. “He and Jason were childhood friends.” The words gave her a little pang. Did Jason’s parents know he’d moved back? They hadn’t said anything to her, and it seemed they’d have mentioned something about it. Since he and Jason had been such good friends.
“Are you going to be okay with that? With him?”
She gave Colleen a little smile. “I doubt I’ll see him that much. But either way, it will be fine.”
As long as he kept that dog of his under control. Otherwise, she had no intention of interacting with him beyond basic pleasantries and neighborliness. She could handle that. The kids didn’t need to know him as their dad’s friend.
Both boys burst into the foyer and greeted her with hugs, and the discussion of Matt was dropped.
In fact, she didn’t think of him—much—during the predinner chaos at her own house. The promise of spring was in the air, enough so that she left the front door open, even though the glass was still up over the screen door. So when she looked out into the living room and saw her two little brown-haired boys clustered in front of the door, she frowned and went to see what they were looking at.
That dog was on the porch.
“Doggie!” Liam’s squeal made her heart sink.
“Not our doggie,” she said firmly, and looked past the dog to the house across the street. A light was on, and a car was in the driveway. The gate hung open. “Guys, give me some room. I’ll take him back across the street.”
“Can we come?” Eli asked eagerly, and Callie shook her head.
“But,” she added at their crestfallen expressions, “you guys can stand on the porch. How’s that?” That way they could see her and the dog, and she could keep an eye on them. Win-win. “Let me go first, so I can get hold of his collar.” She didn’t relish getting jumped on again, and she definitely wasn’t willing to let the big mutt knock down one of her boys.
She edged out the door, speaking softly. “Hey buddy, stay right there.” The dog perked right up, his tail wagging so hard his whole body shook. He made little whining noises in his throat and she held out a hand cautiously. He dropped to his belly and rolled right over. “No! I need you to get up. I need to take you home.” She managed to get hold of his collar, and got him back on his feet. She gestured to the boys. “You can come out now,” she said, and they did.
“Pat doggie?” Liam asked. His big blue eyes were fixed on the dog, and Eli was already edging closer.
“He’s not very well trained,” she began. But then the dog sat on her foot, his eyes fixed on the kids, ears pricked. It’d probably be all right but... “He’s not ours, guys, and I’m just going to take him home. Maybe another time.”
“Where’s he live?” Eli asked, and Callie pointed across the street.
“Just over there.” With your dad’s friend, she didn’t add. Why was she so fixated on that fact?
She’d got the dog down the steps when Matt strode out onto the front porch of his house. “What the—Callie, I’m so sorry. Crazy mutt.” He strode across the front lawn, shaking his head. “Aldo. How did you get out?”
The dog, Aldo, wagged his tail and barked.
“The gate’s open,” she said, and tried to withdraw her hand from the collar before the transfer. Touching Matt seemed almost dangerous. Still, his big hand brushed hers when he grasped the collar. The heat from that brief touch nearly had her stumbling back. She’d touched plenty of guys casually in the year and a half or so since her husband’s death. A handshake, a haircut, an accidental bump in the grocery store. Never had she felt it like this.
She tucked her hand in her sweatshirt pocket, not wanting him to see her trembling fingers.
His chuckle was a low rumble and it reverberated...everywhere inside her. “So it is.” He rubbed the top of the dog’s head affectionately. Then he looked straight at Callie. Those ice-blue eyes seemed to pierce her soul. “I’m sorry, Callie. I’m not sure what the problem is here. But he likes you.”
He almost sounded surprised. Callie stiffened. “Yeah, it’s weird, isn’t it? Hope you get that gate fixed. You don’t want him to get hit by a car.” She gave him a small smile and turned to go back home. Back where she’d be safe.
His hand on her arm stopped her.
“How old are they now?” The question was low, and his gaze was on Liam and Eli. In spite of herself, her heart gave a little tug. Of course, he’d see them as the kids of his childhood friend. It had to be hard on him—he hadn’t been here for Jason’s funeral, and for a while before that.
“Liam’s three and Eli’s five,” she said. “And I don’t want them to decide to come over here. Have a good night.”
She walked away and left Matt standing on the sidewalk, his misbehaving dog sitting on his foot.
CHAPTER TWO
MATT CLEARLY NEEDED a new solution. Aldo was determined not to be contained. The new latches on the gate weren’t working. He’d gnawed his way through the kennel Matt had bought—basically chewed it to bits. And looked at Matt afterward as if to say you should have known better. No doubt the dog was right.
In the meantime, Matt took Aldo with him to work. Since he was more or less his own boss, it didn’t matter. Letting Aldo bug Callie was wrong. Why the dog forgot all his manners—such as they were—and kept bothering her, he wasn’t sure.
Seeing the boys last night had been a kick in the gut. They were so small, yet so big. He’d heard from Jason over the years he’d been gone, seen photos sent via email. Too small. Neither boy would remember his father that well. That made Matt’s gut ache. He didn’t remember his own father much, though his mother had tried to keep him alive for Matt. Unlike Jason, who’d died trying to save a friend and fellow firefighter in a fire, Matt’s dad had not died a hero. He’d died a drunk.
How had he not known Callie lived across the street? Grand Rapids was a big city. He’d known Jason had moved house; they’d moved after Matt had deployed the last time. Needed more room with baby number two on the way. Since he and Jason had communicated through text messages and email, he probably hadn’t asked for the address. It wasn’t as if he’d sent Christmas cards from Afghanistan. Ironic that he’d been half a world away for so long, basically for his friend’s entire marriage, and then ended up right across the street from his widow.
“So. Matt.” Brice, his friend and partner, walked into Matt’s cramped office after rapping his knuckles on the door frame. “What are you doing in here? I’ve been calling for you.”
Matt thumped the chair legs down on the floor. Damn it. Considering the small size of the offices, he’d been thinking a little too hard about a certain pretty red-haired woman. That wasn’t a good sign. He cleared his throat. “Sorry. Late night unpacking. What’s up?”
His friend didn’t push. In fact, they all kind of walked on eggshells around Matt since he’d been home from Afghanistan. He was fine; he had Aldo. The nightmares were few and far between. He didn’t actually have PTSD—and he knew plenty of guys who did—but he did see the carnage of that last suicide bomber far too often when he closed his eyes. And he never talked about it. Period.
Brice held up a couple papers. “We’ve got a group that just signed up for a mountain biking trip. Four-day, U.P., Marquette. July. It’s on your schedule. That going to be okay?”
Matt took the printout from Brice’s hand, glad for the break from his useless thoughts. “More than. I love the Upper Peninsula. We’re filling up nicely.” This gave him no end of pride. They’d worked so hard to get Out There Adventures off the ground, running t
ours all over the Midwest, but especially in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, so it was a thrill to see more and more of the summer filling up. “If this keeps on, we may need to add another guide.” They had five guides right now, including Matt, Brice and Brice’s wife, Marley, but he could see them needing more. The whole thing was a bit of a risk—they went to the tour, rather than the tour coming to them—but so far it didn’t seem to be deterring people from booking trips.
“Yeah.” His friend stooped to rub Aldo’s head. “Why is he here today?”
“Can’t keep him in the backyard, and he’s still not a fan of the kennel,” Matt said, thinking of the destroyed kennel and the look on Callie’s face when Aldo kept showing up. “He keeps bugging my neighbor. She’s got little kids, and while I know he won’t hurt them, she’s understandably wary of him.”
Aldo’s tail thumped the floor and Brice laughed. “Animals are good at that—knowing who doesn’t want them around—and homing in on that person.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. But Aldo’s attachment to Callie was a little uncanny. The mutt went only to her house. Matt wasn’t going to say that to Brice, however. “I’m going to look into heavy-duty latches for the gate. See if that helps. Something he can’t head butt or paw at. That fenced-in backyard was the whole reason I rented the place to begin with. I don’t want him to cause problems in the neighborhood or get hurt.”
“Good luck with that. So this neighbor with the kids,” Brice said a little too casually, as he sat on the corner of Matt’s desk. “She single?”
He let out a bark of a laugh. “I don’t have any idea.” Because now that he thought about it, he didn’t. And for some reason it bothered him. She wore wedding rings, but were those her rings from Jason, or someone new? As an old friend of Jason’s, that didn’t sit well with Matt, though of course she was entitled to move on with her life, and it was probably better if she did. Made no difference what he thought. But he wasn’t going to admit to Brice he’d noticed the rings. He narrowed his eyes and pinned his married friend with a mock serious look. “Why? You looking? Marley know this?”
Brice shook his head. “Nope, I’m not interested. But you might be.” He raised a brow.
Matt scrubbed a hand over his face. Damn ball lobbed right back in his court. “No. I’m not. Leave it alone, Bri. Please.” Even if he was in the market for a relationship, it wouldn’t be—couldn’t be—Callie. His old friend’s widow. It would be wrong. There was no way he was going to explain that to Brice.
His friend stood again, hands held up in front of him. “No harm done, my man. It was just a thought. You know, to bring you back to the world of the living.”
“Of the happily married, you mean,” Matt said, but there was no heat in his tone. He didn’t begrudge his friend his happy marriage, or his wanting Matt to have the same. He envied him a little, especially because he knew if he’d married his ex-fiancée their marriage would never have gone the way Brice’s had. That had been a mistake from start to finish, and had only underscored what Matt had already known—he was better off alone. Her accusations that he was commitment-shy, even after she had received the engagement ring, hadn’t been too far off the mark. He was smart enough to know his limits.
Brice smiled lazily. “Yep. And all the perks that go along with it.”
Matt shook his head and Brice left the room, his comically evil laugh floating behind him. Instead of dwelling on what he’d meant—something Matt had been without for too long now—he opened up the equipment spreadsheet and focused on work, not his sadly lacking love life.
* * *
Callie pulled the chicken breasts she’d been thawing all day out of the fridge just as Eli burst into the kitchen.
“Mom, can me and Liam play with Legos?”
She gave him a quick smile. “Sure. But use the big ones only, not the little ones, please.” Liam was pretty good about not putting things in his mouth anymore, but she wasn’t taking any chances. He was only three, after all.
“Okay!” Eli called as he dashed back into the living room. “We can,” she heard him say, and she couldn’t help but smile. She pulled a knife from the butcher block holder and started slicing.
Matt flashed into her head and she put the knife down. She didn’t want to accidentally cut her finger off if she wasn’t concentrating fully on what she was doing. She wasn’t sure what to make of this weirdness. It wasn’t just that he was Jason’s friend—it was these strange feelings he aroused inside her. Maybe it was a signal she was finally moving into another stage of grief? Not really moving on, because she wasn’t sure she’d ever be completely ready to move on, but acknowledging she was a woman with needs and feelings?
Well, except she didn’t want to have needs and feelings. They complicated everything, and she was looking to keep her focus on her kids only. Getting distracted by a guy wasn’t going to allow her to do that.
Would Jason want you to be both parents to the boys? She inhaled sharply at the little voice, then picked up the knife and resumed slicing chicken. She didn’t know what he’d want, but if she were honest with herself, she knew he wouldn’t want her to wallow forever in grief.
A crash sounded from the living room as blocks hit the ground, closely followed by loud little-boy laughter. It made her smile. No, she wasn’t wrong to keep her focus on her boys. Not at all. They wouldn’t be small forever and she was right to keep them at the center of her world.
Her phone rang. A quick glance at the display revealed it to be her mother. Jean lived in Florida, but she checked in with her often. Callie washed her hands quickly and grabbed the phone.
“Hi, Mom,” she said, tucking the phone under her ear and reaching for a skillet. “How is warm, sunny Florida?”
Her mother’s laugh rolled over the connection. “Neither warm nor sunny at the moment, but no doubt still nicer than Michigan in March.”
Callie flicked her gaze out the kitchen window, over the melting snow, the patchy brown grass that would soon be mud, and the bare branches. While she’d never regretted moving to Michigan with Jason, some days she missed her native Florida. “You’d be right.”
They chatted for a minute, then Callie said, “I’ve got to get something going on the stove. I’m going to give you to Eli and Liam.”
It took only a moment to set them up on speaker, and she returned to the kitchen to get the chicken going. When she went back out to the living room, she heard them all laughing, and wished her mom could be closer. She had, in fact, urged Callie to move back home. But somehow the idea of leaving behind this place where she’d made a life with Jason—even to return to her childhood home—was too much. They’d come here because he’d always wanted to be a firefighter in Grand Rapids, like his dad before him. She’d been happy to accommodate his dream. Now he was gone, but she and her sons were firmly settled in. She didn’t want to uproot them now.
“Okay, guys, it’s my turn. Say bye to Grandma.”
They did with a loud chorus, and Callie picked the phone up. “What did they talk about? Legos?”
“Mmm, somewhat. But mostly about a dog. And a guy.”
“Matt?” Callie’s mind went completely blank. And when it clicked back in, she realized she’d made a crucial mistake. But still—the boys had noticed Matt? Why? They hadn’t even talked to him. Her mom, of course, pounced on her slip.
“They didn’t tell me his name. Who is he, Callie? Are you dating someone?” There was no censure in her mother’s voice, only a gentle curiosity. Horror rushed through Callie, followed by a sort of emptiness.
“No. No, of course not, Mom. Why would I do that?” She tried to keep her tone light, keep this conversation from going any further.
Jean’s sigh carried over the connection. “Why wouldn’t you? It’s not a bad thing, Callie. You’re young. Gorgeous. There’s no reason you can’t love again.”
&n
bsp; Callie let out a little laugh, but it sounded forced. “Of course there is. I loved my husband, Mom. I’d never—I’d just never.” Especially with a man who’d been his friend.
“Well, no, of course you wouldn’t if he were alive, honey,” Jean said. “But you don’t have to be alone now he’s gone. He would never want you to be alone. If he’d been able to make sure you were taken care of, he would have.”
A powerful sorrow pressed on Callie’s chest. “I can take care of us.”
“Of course you can. And you do. You do a wonderful job of it. But who takes care of you, Callie? And don’t say you do,” she added. “I’m not talking physical care of yourself and you know it. I’m talking emotional. A partner to share the day to day with. You don’t have to be alone. I haven’t wanted to say anything, but since this is the first time the boys have mentioned anyone outside of your little circle, I thought I’d ask.”
Callie stabbed at the chicken with the spatula, barely able to see the skillet through her tears. “I’m fine, Mom,” she said, even though the thickness of her voice with the tears belied her words. She swallowed hard. “I take care of myself just fine. And Matt is our new neighbor. He’s got a dog that keeps escaping.” She didn’t mention the dog kept coming to her house. Or that Matt was—well, Matt.
“Is he young? Available?”
Now Callie had to laugh at the hope in her mother’s voice. “I don’t know how old he is, Mom. Older than me, I’d guess, but not by much. And I’m not interested enough to know if he’s available. He’s not interested in me. At all.” Was that too much protesting? Goodness. She shook her head. Good thing her mother couldn’t see her.
Jean made a little noise. “Too bad. Just don’t close yourself off from possibilities. Promise me, Callie. Maybe it’s not this man, but if one comes along, don’t hide from it.”
“I’ve got the boys to think about,” she pointed out, slightly peeved that her mother didn’t focus on that. “I’m not going to risk upending their lives for—for a chance, Mom. For something that probably won’t even work out. That’s selfish and not fair to them. They’ve lost so much already.”
