“So we’ve got to wait until they arrive,” Asher said.
“We’ve got to wait.” Julius nodded. “But that’s a little bit of a problem as well.”
“Why?” Fi bounced Luke. He was starting to fuss and she shifted him into the airplane position and “flew” him gently. He’d need food soon. As soon as she was done eating.
“Here, Fi,” Sara gestured. “I’ll take him. You eat.” Sara gathered him up and made a whooshing sound as she continued to “fly” him, belly down. He was still so tiny that he fit in the space from her palm to the crook of her elbow. It was hard not to smile, watching Sara rock him that way, her free hand gently cradling his back. Ever since they’d arrived, Sara had been all about Luke. Even though Fi was grateful, it did kind of sharpen the edge of her guilt.
“Thanks, Sar,” she said, jamming a handful of nuts in her mouth before turning back to Sean. “So, why is waiting bad?” Her words squeezed past the nuts. She caught the glance Julius exchanged with Sean. “What? What aren’t you telling us?”
“We’re on the clock,” Sean said. “Carter’s got a deadline. In about four weeks, he’s going to kick our families out into the Dead Zones and leave them.”
“What?” Fi and Asher erupted at once.
A chunk of nut whistled into her windpipe and she choked, hacking and reaching for her tea. “But even if we fly,” she croaked, still coughing, “it’s going to take another two weeks to get there and we’re ahead of the others. How are we going to get everyone there in time?”
“We’re not,” Sean said hesitantly.
She took a long sip of tea and sighed as her throat relaxed. It felt so good that it took her a minute to register what Sean had said. “What do you mean we’re not?”
“We can’t possibly get the Diaspora and Lakeland cohorts all the way to West Virginia in time, even though they’re already on their way. At least,” Sean shook his head, “it’ll be close.”
“So what’s the plan then?” Asher asked.
“The plan is to stall them,” Julius said. “We think that if we can get someone on the inside, get them to trust that person, then we may be able to think of a way to stall. So far, besides their attack on Darryl, they haven’t actually hurt any of the colonists.”
“Besides nearly starving and freezing them to death,” Fi said bitterly. Her mind bloomed with the image of Kiara shivering beneath a thin blanket, her teeth chattering, her arms around little Zoe Skillman. Her stomach clenched and she turned to Sara. “I can take him back. I think I’m done eating for now.”
Sara kissed Luke before turning him over to Fi, and then settled back onto her log in the shadows. For a second, Fi stopped, wishing that she had more time to sit with her friend and talk. To sit and chat about…jeez, about having a baby and having sex and being in love and failing calculus…and about why Sara sat in the shadows spinning her blades on their tips…
Luke burbled and Fi startled. There was no time. No time for real talks. No time for real life. The only thing there was time for was worry. “Ok,” she said, pushing her friend and her spinning blades into the back drawer of her mind, “you need someone to go undercover then. That’s what you’re saying, right?”
Sean nodded. “That’s our thought. Whoever goes in can try to stall them and can also gather information to help us to plan our attack.”
“And they could keep an eye on the colonists at the same time…make sure that the Truthers don’t start hurting anyone.” Asher added.
“Exactly,” Sean said.
Luke snuffled and Fi kissed his head, shifting him to her shoulder and rocking as she stood. She sucked her teeth. This part of the plan seemed a little thin to her. Four hundred people surrounding the Truther settlement, now that was a plan…but a spy? Who could they possibly ask to do that? Who would the Truthers trust enough to let into their settlement, and their secrets? Her mind raced ahead, trying to picture it.
These were mostly religious people, however screwed up their leader. From what Sean and Sara reported, they were solicitous of the women and children. At least with their own, she thought. “Have you thought about who should go in?”
“We’ve been debating,” Julius said. “On the one hand, we need someone who seems non-threatening, someone who will make them let down their guard. On the other hand, that person will have to be ready for anything, in case things go wrong while they’re still inside.”
Luke wiggled in Fi’s arms. He opened his eyes and whimpered. She shushed him, but his cries intensified as he came to full wakefulness with an empty belly. Asher handed her the sheet she’d been using for privacy. “Sorry,” she said, as she got herself situated. She winced as he latched. Her breasts still weren’t used to the feedings, and the cold did nothing to help that.
She was startled when she looked up and saw Sean and Julius both studying her intently. Julius murmured something to Sean and he nodded.
“What, Sean?” she asked. “What are you thinking?”
“Uh, well,” Sean said, his eyes darting nervously to Asher, “we’ve been debating who to send in because most of the Army of Eden volunteers aren’t trained fighters, and the few ex-military guys we do have, like Julius, are kind of intimidating-looking. I guess it just occurred to me where we could find a skilled fighter who would seem less scary.”
“Absolutely not!” Asher cried. “No! No way, Sean! We have a baby now. An infant. Who needs her.” He shook his head. “It’s out of the question.”
“But that’s just it,” Fi said, mulling it over. “Who would be afraid of a young girl with a baby?” Her lips curled at the thought of being able to go in and see Carter firsthand. To look him in the eye and lie to him just like he’d done to so many others. She caught Asher eyeing her.
“No, Fi. C’mon, no! You can’t even be thinking it.”
“But, Ash, it’s perfect, don’t you see?”
What she could see was that his jaw was set, his calm hovering on the razor’s edge.
“You know there’s no way I’m going to let you go in there alone, especially with Luke.”
“But she won’t be alone, Ash.” There was a glint as a spinning blade came to a stop. Sara spoke from her spot in the shadows. “I’ll go with her.”
A Commander’s Confession
------------ Fi -----------
It took a whole day’s debate at full cross-country run pace (which was no small feat) for Julius and Sean to win Asher’s acquiescence. Fi mostly stayed out of it because she knew he didn’t want to fight with her about it. He had to see it as part of the overall plan, period, not her crazy idea.
When they’d settled for the night he finally yelled, “All right, all right! Just shut up about it! Yes, ok? Yes. As long as she doesn’t fight in the siege, then…fine…I guess.” He’d stomped off before she’d gotten to say anything.
She hadn’t been thrilled to hear that their plans didn’t include her fighting in the actual battle, a point she took up when Asher made his exit.
“Your role is going to be the most important, Fi!” Julius said. “Don’t forget that! The most important thing in our entire plan is to remove the leverage.”
“Leverage?” Fi asked.
“The colonists. As long as Carter has our people, they’re not prisoners, they’re hostages.”
Fi nodded. Yes, they couldn’t just attack the settlement. Carter would just start killing their people.
“That’s where you and Sara come in,” Sean added. “Even though I think you two will make great moles, there’s no way that any of us would let you go into battle, Fi.”
Fi’s face fell, her fantasies of shooting her way through a wall of Lobos to get to Lawson shattered. Sean was right. It was taking enough risk with Luke as it was, going undercover. “So what do you have in mind?”
“Sara and I were able to get into the prison camp easily at night. The barbed wire can be cut and we can sneak in and out as we please. The Lobos in the watchtowers are mostly bored and checked out.
”
“So are the colonists just supposed to make a break for it one night?”
“No, that’s exactly it…timing is going to be crucial. If the colonists slip out of the camp too early, the Lobos will be on high alert before the siege even begins. But if they’re too late…”
“…then we’re back to them being held hostage,” Fi finished.
“Right.”
“So Sara and I will be undercover, we’ll relay information back to you all, and then what, you’ll let us know when it’s time for the colonists to slip away?”
“That’s what we’re thinking, though some of this will have to be worked out when we get there, of course.”
“And Sara and I, we’ll be the ones who are going to help cover the colonists’ escape. Right?”
“Yes,” Sean said.
Sara interrupted. “Waaaaaaaiiiit a minute. You mean that you want me to stay out of the actual battle too? I totally agree on Fi’s behalf, but not on mine. You need me there!”
“Sara,” Julius said, “once Diaspora arrives, we’ll have much more real military personnel. The General says at least thirty men, eight of whom were Navy Seals.”
“Hmmmph,” she grunted. “Well, we’ll see. I’m not really sure what a Navy Seal has on me.”
Julius choked.
Sara glared. “What?”
His eyes darted to Fi.
“Trust me, Julius,” Fi smiled. “There are only two mistakes you can make with Sara. The first is underestimating her…”
“…and the second is pissing her off,” Asher said, strolling back into their camp with a half- smile.
Fi exhaled, though it was the first moment she noticed that she’d been holding her breath, just a little. She hated fighting with him. He settled beside her, leaning against the brick wall of the store that served as their protection from the breeze.
Most of the Army had chosen to pile together along the criss-cross of retail shops and buildings in this little Pennsylvania town. It was a sad testament to the scope of the tragedy that had passed that towns like these…Ghost Towns, she and Sean used to call them…were already fading into the dirt. The bones of buildings remained, but walls and windows were broken and crumbling, with paint peeling and window dressings whipping in sad tatters. And everywhere the creep of Nature was absolute: the tendrils and roots ripping and tearing, reclaiming the Earth for her own canvas.
When they’d first wandered into town Fi had been surprised to find herself tearing up. It had been a long time since such scenes had moved her. But the little row of shops was what got her, their hand-painted signs hanging by threads and clacking in the night breeze. They were the kinds of stores one could only find in small towns. They housed the odds and ends of the region: traded, hoarded, loved, and recycled through generations of hands. It reminded her of home.
Shifting her focus to more positive thoughts, she leaned against Asher, giving him a glance to ask permission. He put his arm around her and she sighed, relieved, as she melted into his side. He pressed his lips to her head and squeezed her.
The sun still hadn’t set. The sky was rent, the tug-of-war unfinished between the insistent stars above and the reluctant glow below. It was just a tiny smidge warmer tonight than it had been in weeks, and everyone was in a cheerier mood. Julius rolled back onto his heels and admired his handiwork as flames licked and popped their way up the teepee of firewood he’d assembled. He smiled at her and she was dazzled, as usual.
Of course, now that she knew Julius better, she knew that he was so much more than a male model trapped in camos. He was tough and smart and fair and loyal and strong. He was everything you’d imagine a soldier to be. She still couldn’t believe that he treated her with respect.
“I’m not sure what you would’ve done to me, Fi,” he said, winking, “if I hadn’t let you go all those years ago, but I think I made the right choice.”
Ok, sort of respect, she thought, smiling in return. But then, teasing among soldiers was respect, wasn’t it? She grabbed a hunk of dried apple. “Then tell me, Commander, because I have to know. Why did you let me and my Family go?”
A shadow ghosted across Julius’ magnificent face and Fi hesitated. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked. Some memories were best left alone.
“I would have said something…would’ve done my job,” Julius began quietly. “When I caught you, I mean. But to be honest, I wasn’t sure what my job was anymore. I always thought my job was to protect Americans, but…”
“But?” Asher prompted.
“But when I caught Fi, I’d just seen something…” he stammered, dragging his hand over his eyes, “…I’d just seen …it was the worst thing I could imagine, and I was in shock.”
The group stared back at him, their mouths hanging open, the word “shock” hanging in the air like a label above them. They’d never seen Julius look anything but in command. He’d never shown a moment’s doubt, or stress. Half the time that he wasn’t barking orders he was talking trash with someone, cracking “Your momma” jokes and shooting the breeze. This man with his head down, his spine bent beneath an invisible weight…this wasn’t their Commander. Fi bit her lip.
When Julius finally spoke, he never looked up. “I was suspicious of the whole thing right from the start. There were too many of us, and we were too heavily armed for a peacekeeping mission. I’d been in Sudan, and I knew the difference. When we assembled, it just, I dunno, didn’t seem right. I left my guys to watch our post and snuck down to the processing center just in time to see soliders dragging a woman away. She was hysterical, screaming that we were separating the old and the sick. She kept saying it was Auschwitz.”
Fi sucked in her breath. Auschwitz. She’d barely heard the word in her lifetime. Just a few times in class or in movies. It was the synonym for hell, the deepest, darkest nadir of human existence. When we’d singled each other out for execution en masse. She shivered and pulled Luke close.
Julius didn’t seem to notice. He was dead still. “They took her away real quick and told everyone she was panicking, that nothing was wrong, but I’d watched them group people and she was right. They were separating the sick and the old from the others. They’d just loaded a group onto a supply truck when I made my decision. I slipped on board, made up something about last minute orders from my Major.” He shook his head.
“Anyway,” he said, “the truck headed about twenty miles out of town and then stopped in the middle of nowhere. The soldiers unloaded all the people and then the Sargent, he started telling them that they’d been separated due to their ‘special medical or nutritional needs.’”
Sean snorted. “Fucking shit.”
“I know. What the hell would that have to do with driving these people to the bumfuck, right?” Julius’ gorgeous face twisted, his eyes narrowing to slits. “S’cuse my French. So everyone got nervous. You could hear them whispering and trying to keep the few kids calm. But then the Sargent told them that he, we, the government…whatever, didn’t know how much food we even had.”
“Wow, he told them that?” Fi asked. “I thought the soldiers didn’t tell anyone that. The truth, I mean.”
“I know,” he said. “Most didn’t, but in this case it didn’t matter. He told them they could go anywhere they wanted, but they couldn’t return to town and they wouldn’t be given any rations. Those were for the healthy. When he said that, all hell broke loose. People started screaming and crying and some of the other soldiers looked just as freaked out as I was, and then…” He stopped. “…Then, it got worse.”
“How could it get worse?” Sara asked, crawling toward the fire from her usual spot in the shadows.
Julius’ eyes were still locked on the fire. “A real old man stepped up and he said, ‘I volunteer!’ When the Sargent asked him what for, he said, ‘For a quick death.’”
Fi choked and covered her mouth. Asher squeezed her against him.
Julius nodded. “I know. I was so shocked that I didn’t even feel anythi
ng at the time, but that memory wakes me up at night feeling like I’m gonna puke. The guy had a little girl with him, his granddaughter. I guess she was sick, or else she wouldn’t have been with the group, but he said he wanted to volunteer to die so that his granddaughter could receive rations.”
Fi’s stomach churned. Even though her Family had followed their own Food Laws, had accepted this same sort of reality, the thought was unbearable now that she was a mother. If anyone tried to deny Luke what he needed, she’d kill them. Period. No questions asked. Her hand sank to her .22 instinctively.
“It was horrible,” Julius choked. “The old man, he started begging. Saying to please give some food to his baby, Cheryl. I’ll never forget her name. Cheryl.” He turned away from the fire to look at Fi, his eyes burning like the embers. “Just like I never forgot your face. Even though it was dark and I barely saw you, it was like your face was burned into my brain.”
“What happened to those people?” Fi whispered. “Did the Sargent shoot the man, like he wanted?”
“No, he…we weren’t that kind. We left them in the road. The Sargent was all freaked out, and he just ordered us back into the truck. Goddamned coward. Now I wish I’d stayed with those people and tried to help them, but I was so used to following orders that I did what he said. The people tried to follow us. They cried and screamed, pounding on the truck until we were going too fast for them to catch us. I covered my ears and cried like a baby. I didn’t care who saw me. It only took a minute for me to make up my mind. I decided that no matter what else happened, no matter what my orders, I wasn’t going to hurt a citizen.”
“And that’s why you let me go,” Fi said, and Julius nodded, tears welling in his eyes.
“Yes. That’s why I let you go.” He drew his arm across his eyes. “When I saw your Family crawling across the road, I turned away. And when I turned back and caught you, I remember that I just froze. I couldn’t believe how young you were…just a baby, sneaking away with a backpack and a knife like a commando or something.” He took a deep breath and blew it out, a long, cleansing exhale. “And of course, I also had your demand to consider.”
Emergence (Eden's Root Trilogy Book 3) Page 13
