by Moss, Brooke
“Yeah, he fire hosed everything in his bedroom one night.” I laughed uneasily. “I learned pretty fast that a good washer and dryer is key to motherhood.”
Lexie snorted. “I have a hard time picturing you washing wet Bob The Builder sheets.”
Nudging her, I smiled at Candace. “I learned fast. And they were Spongebob, anyway. I hate to admit it, but I miss those little buggers.”
“They’re great,” Candace agreed, looking around the room. Her blue eyes suddenly filled, and she started to blink. “I just… I just… maybe I shouldn’t have stopped by. I should go.”
Lexie and I both blurted, “No!”
Candace put her hand over her mouth, and gasped. “It’s just that… I keep trying to get back to normal, and… he’s everywhere.”
I can relate.
I silently scolded myself for even thinking I had an inkling of what Candace was going through. Brian was dead. Demo was perfectly alive and well; I’d just sent him packing.
“It’s okay, Candace,” I said gently, putting my arm around her and letting her melt against my side. “It will take time. You shouldn’t rush yourself.”
“We were so good together, you know?” she whimpered. “We just fit together like puzzle pieces. He fit, you know? I just don’t know how to be me… without him.”
Lexie moved to Candace’s other side, and put her head on her cousin’s shoulder. “You and Brian had the kind of love most people dream about. It will take a while before you learn how to be yourself without your other half.”
My heart tugged and I rubbed at my chest absently. All this work to protect my heart, and it still hurt. Go figure.
Tears streamed down Candace’s face. “It’s not right. People shouldn’t have to face life without the person they love the most. It’s impossible to face another day, let alone a year or the rest of my life, without Brian.” She lifted her head and stared at me, wild eyed. “I don’t want to be alone forever. I never have. Why did this happen? Why me? Why us?”
“I…” I swallowed. “I don’t know. But I’m so, so sorry.”
“Shhh.” Lexie smoothed down Candace’s hair as she cried, and the three of us sank to the cold tile floor. “You won’t be alone. We’re with you. You know that.”
Candace shook her head, tears dripping off of the end of her nose. “No. You’ve got Fletcher… and Marisol’s got Demo the mechanic. You’ve got people to live for and to love you for the rest of your lives. You don’t understand how damned lucky you really are to have found your soul mate.”
I was biting my lip so hard, I could taste blood. This wasn’t the time or place to bring up my debunked attempt at a relationship. This was Candace’s moment.
Lexie rested her head on Candace’s shoulder. “I understand.”
“You guys have to…” Candace hiccupped. “You have to hold on to them. Fletcher and Demo. You found them, now make every moment count. Hold on to them and soak up every single drop of every single moment. Savor every second with them. Because for all you know… poof!” She wiped her nose on the end of her shirtsleeve. “Gone. Just… gone.”
“We will,” Lexie whispered, dabbing at her own eyes. “Right, Mar?”
I opened my mouth. Then closed it, and pressed my lips together tightly.
I hadn’t told a soul—save for Cocinero—that I’d broken things off with Demo. Partly because the right moment hadn’t presented itself. I mean, how does one bring up the fact that they’ve broken up with the man she’d just barely started dating… when her friend was mourning the death of her husband of ten years? I’d worked too hard at quashing my self-absorbed ways to backslide now.
And I’d also kept it to myself because I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear Lexie and Candace’s disapproval. There was no way I was going to be able to explain why I’d given up a life with my soul mate. The fact that he was expecting a baby with someone else wouldn’t phase Lexie at all. Hell, she’d met and fallen in love with Fletcher while pregnant, and Candace supported her the whole time. They would’ve support me if I’d decided to remain in a relationship with Demo, and co-parent his baby with Stacia. But they wouldn’t support my dumping him because I never wanted to face losing him.
They would have called that move childish.
I grimaced. Maybe they would’ve been right.
Candace used the end of her sleeve to wipe her eyes again, and I noticed how sallow her cheeks looked. I wonder how much weight she’d lost. Pain seeped from her like carbon dioxide as she sat there. I could practically see it in the air around her, wavering and blurring like heat waves.
I couldn’t go through that. I wouldn’t make it. She was so much stronger than I was.
“Right,” I said finally. Tucking my hair behind my ears, I smiled as widely as I could. “Absolutely.”
“I’m sorry I fell apart.” Candace pushed herself to her feet, and laced her shaking fingers together. “I thought I was ready to get out of the house, but I think I was wrong.”
“No, you’re fine. It was so nice to see you.” Lexie stood up and wrapped her arms around her cousin, and I watched as Candace stiffened.
That was unusual for her. Usually Candace was all over both Lexie and me, hugging us and showering us with compliments and smothering us with affection.
“Do you want me to come home with you?” I asked, following her to the door as soon as she wriggled out of Lexie’s grip. “I can make the kids dinner while you take a nap or something?” Candace just shook her head, not looking at us. “Okay, I’ll be honest. I miss your kids.”
Lexie scoffed. “Whatever.”
“No, I’m serious.” I laughed. “They’ve grown on me.”
“No, thank you.” Candace fingered the door handle. “You’ve got a life. Go have fun. Don’t worry about me.”
Lexie and I exchanged a nervous look. “It’s no big deal. I’d be happy to.”
“No.” Candace’s voice was sharp. Her blue eyes rose and she forced a smile. “Sorry. I’m just fine. I don’t need your help.”
I nudged Lexie, so she stepped forward and touched Candace’s arm. “What about me? Need a little cousin time?”
Candace jumped away from her hand like it was on fire. “I said no.”
Lexie’s face dropped. “Oh, okay.”
“I’ll see you guys later,” Candace said, pulling the door open, and looking at us with damp eyes. “Good luck on the wedding tomorrow. And… and remember what I said, okay?”
As soon as the door shut, Lexie turned to me. “She’s not okay.”
“I know.” I nodded, a sick feeling roiling in my stomach.
“Why wouldn’t she want us to be with her?” Lexie’s voice started to waver. “Why would she want to be alone?”
“She is alone now, Lex.” I rubbed my eyes. “I don’t think she wants us around because we’re not. We have someone in our lives. Or, did.” Lexie looked at me strangely, so I added, “Loneliness can do a real number on a person.”
“I can’t stand the fact that she feels this way.” Lexie wrapped her arms around herself and leaned against the table. “It breaks my heart.”
“I know. Mine, too.” I started putting dirty bowls into the stainless steel sink. “I’ll go over to her house after we’re done here.”
Lexie bit her lip. “But Candace said not to.”
“Well, she needs to know she’s not alone.” Releasing a long, guttural sigh, I turned on the hot water and poured some dish soap into the sink. “Besides, it’s not like I have anything better to do.”
Lexie looked at me quizzically. “Where’s Demo tonight?”
“I don’t know,” I said quietly, tears pricking at the back of my eyes.
She leaned closer. “What is going on with you?”
“Nothing.”
“Knock it off. Something’s wrong.” I glared at her, and she shook her head. “I mean, besides the obvious. Spill it.”
I avoided her eyes and started to wash a bowl. “We’re all stressed out. Wi
th the funeral, and worrying about Candace, and the wedding tomorrow. I… I’m just tired.”
“We’re all tired.” She moved closer to me. “Is everything going all right with Demo?”
“Everything…” I gulped, swallowing down the growing lump in my throat. “Everything’s fine.”
“Did he dump you?” she whispered.
I scrubbed harder. “I said everything is fine.”
“That’s bull crap,” Lexie said, touching my arm. “Mar, stop cleaning and talk to me.”
The lump morphed into a cactus, and it prickled and jabbed me from the inside out. I wanted to tell her so bad. I wanted to tell somebody, anybody, who cared. I needed to get it out in the open, because the secret was rotting inside of me.
When I turned to Lexie, hot tears spilled over the edge of my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. “Oh, Lex…” I whimpered, falling forward against her shoulder.
“It’s okay,” she told me, rubbing circles on my back. “It’s okay. It’s okay…”
And then I told her everything.
Chapter Twenty
Taking a deep breath of the garlic and lemon scented air, I uncovered the silver chafing dish filled to the top with dolmades. There they sat, perfectly rolled and shaped into small, bite sized bundles of Mediterranean goodness—the literal representation of my short-lived relationship with Demo Antonopolous.
Lexie had gone above and beyond bringing Yiayia’s recipe to life. They were picture perfect and culinary magazine spread worthy. Every employee we’d hired for the day had raved about their flavor and texture, including one young man who came from a Greek family who prided himself on eating authentic recipes. When we’d put them on the buffet line, they were the first dish to disappear, and I’d overheard the bride telling the groom that they were “orgasm inducing.”
Overall, after all the test recipes, the worrying, and the planning, the dolmades wound up being a slam-freaking-dunk.
I was just sad that I couldn’t go thank Yiayia for the recipe.
“Hey, Marisol, can you grab some more tahini sauce from the kitchen?” Lexie asked, whisking past me with an empty platter. “And ask the wait staff to start refilling the red wine glasses at the head table. They’re drinking like fish out there.”
“You got it.” I checked to make sure that the flames underneath the dish were still glowing, and plucked a few crumbs off of the crisp white tablecloth.
I’d spent an hour talking to Lexie the night before. It wasn’t easy. Upon hearing that Demo was expecting a baby with someone else, she’d immediately started fishing through her purse for her keys so she could go to Triple D’s to use a battery recharger on his face. But the further I went into my feelings, and why I’d walked away from our relationship, she’d quieted and eventually put her car keys away. In fact, by the time we’d turned off the lights and locked up Eats & Treats, I think she may have actually understood where I was coming from. After all, she had a man in her life she couldn’t bear losing, too.
“Thanks, Mar.” The sound of a plate breaking rang out, and Lexie charged into the kitchen with a scowl. “Friggin’ great.”
I glanced around to make sure nobody was looking, then plucked a dolma out of the chafing dish with one of my gloved hands. Though the thought of eating one of Yiayia’s delicacies made my heart ache, I wanted to taste them for myself.
Hey, five hundred guests at a Greek wedding can’t be wrong, right?
I popped it into my mouth and began to chew. “Oh, my gosh…” I moaned quietly, leaning against a nearby wall. The bride was right. These things were orgasmic. Almost as orgasmic as Demo making an omelet in nothing but his boxer briefs.
Demo.
My heart ached and I sucked in a sharp breath. Probably shouldn’t have thought about him. Every time I did, it made my insides twist and spasm, and usually left me breathless and in need of a good cry sesh. And crying in the middle of this wedding was not an option.
I used the corner of my apron to dab my eyes. “Pull it together, Vargas.”
“Was it really that good?” A deep, rough voice asked.
Excitement danced up my spine, and I turned in time to see Demo emerging from the kitchen door. He was in a pair of dark jeans and a clean plaid shirt, but there was an endearing streak of oil mixed with the dark whiskers on his chin. He stood out like a nun at a runway show amongst all of the white tuxes and brightly dressed guests that filled the hotel ballroom.
“Demo!” My voice squeaked, so I pressed a hand to my throat. “What are you doing here?”
He hung close to the kitchen door. “My mother said there was a wedding at the Orthodox church this afternoon. I figured it was the one you were catering, so I asked around to find out where the reception was.”
“Your stalking skills have taken new heights,” I said wryly, ignoring the way my heart had started thumping Ode To Joy as soon as he walked in. I wanted to throw myself at him, and press my face to his neck, but refrained.
I heard my dad’s voice in my mind: What’s done is done. Move on.
I pushed myself off the wall and folded my arms across my chest. If I didn’t get Demo out of here, I was going to start backtracking, and that was only going to lead to more hurting. And frankly, I’d met my ‘hurt quota’ for the quarter. “First Candace’s house and now this. Can’t you take a hint?”
He frowned. “I tried. I really did.”
Irritation bubbled in my gut. This wasn’t helping. Not one bit. My heart was breaking, and I was barely keeping myself together without turning into a bitter lush, and if Demo insisted on showing up where I worked, I may as well sign my half of the business over to Lexie right here and now.
“Well, this is a wedding and you weren’t invited,” I hissed, grabbing his arm and dragging him into the kitchen. The hustle and bustle of the wait staff stopped as soon as I walked in. “Get back to work!” I snapped.
Demo nodded at them as they lifted their trays onto their shoulders and hustled off. “You’re right. I wasn’t invited. But as it turns out, Yiayia was, and she couldn’t be here today. So I came in her place. Problem solved.”
Rubbing my forehead, I closed my eyes. “You can’t ambush me at work, Demo. I made my decision, now it’s your job to respect that.”
He put his hands on my shoulders. “I know. And I’m sorry. But… you need to know how I feel.”
“I already know how you feel.” I nearly melted under his touch. “What we had was nice. Super nice. But I’m not the type to settle down. My life is better when it’s just me. It’s less complicated, less…” I searched for the words but nothing came to mind. Damn Demo and his magic hands.
“You want the same things I want,” he said, leaning close so that I could hear his voice over the clatter of some pans. Lexie was sautéing garlic a few feet away, and if she knew Demo was here, she would lose it. “You told me so.”
“So what?” I pulled away from his touch, immediately missing it. “I changed my mind.”
“You changed your mind?” He scoffed. “You’re chicken shit. That’s what you are.”
The irritation in my gut quickly morphed into rage. “Excuse me?”
His face pulled down in a scowl. “I didn’t stutter.”
“¡Eres una basura!” Clenching my hands at my sides, I shoved past Demo. “Get out of here. I’ve got work to do.”
He followed me to a rack of pastries, where I started to slam sheet after sheet onto the counter. “You think calling me a piece of garbage is going to scare me away?”
“I can say something worse if you like.” My chest throbbed. I wanted to crawl into the nearby walk in cooler and sob for an hour or two. “Since you’re not taking the hint.”
“You love me.” He grabbed my elbow. “I know you do.”
“Go away.”
“You’re just afraid! You’re scared that if you have a life with me, it won’t be all champagne and flowers every day.” He tried to turn me so that I would face him. “You’re scared that the
re may be some hard times. That we may fight and yell at each other. That raising my kid might be tough from time to time, or that raising the kids we have together won’t be a walk in the park.”
“Go to hell,” I barked over my shoulder. His words hurt. They stung like a sunburn, leaving scars on my heart. Demo was right. Every last word was dead on.
“And what’s worst of all…” Demo put his hands up on the rack, one on either side of me, so I couldn’t move. “You’re so afraid of losing the people you love, you won’t even let yourself love them. Not really. And that, as I said, makes you chicken shit.”
Spinning on my heel, I yelled a string of obscenities that would have made even the dirtiest of bikers rush to a confession booth.
The kitchen went silent. Every waiter stopped what they were doing—again—to peer at me. What made it worse was that I’d lost the battle against my tears, and now I was crying. Me. The woman who used to never cry. And now I can’t seem to stop.
Awesome.
Demo touched my face, sending an electric shock through my skin down into my chest. “Marisol, don’t cry.”
I swatted at his hands. “Then go away!”
His thumbs swiped away my tears. “I love you.” When I tried to bolt, he pressed his lips to my forehead. “Don’t you understand that? I love you, Marisol Vargas. And I want—”
A pimple-faced waiter popped up right next to us, holding a silver tray of bite-sized pastries. “Ms. Vargas, what do you want me to do with the touloumbes?”
The look Demo gave him was positively lethal. “Give us a minute, kid.”
It felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the kitchen, and I couldn’t take a breath. Not being with Demo felt like it was going to kill me. But being with him meant taking on a world of stress and fear that made me want to curl up in a ball and suck my thumb. This is why I’d avoided falling in love for thirty-two years. If this is how relationships felt, why did so many people want them, for hell’s sake?
“I…” My eyes bounced between the waiter and Demo, looking for the answer. Waiting for someone—anyone—to tell me what the hell to do. Struggling to breathe, I pried Demo’s hands away from my face.
