by Jenna Harte
“No, but how many of those men were one-night stands or simple affairs? Sydney, you were never a woman to have sex with someone you don’t care about. Maybe you don’t think you’ll end up married, but you want to be in a relationship that could potentially lead to more, not just a casual bit on the side.”
He was right, but that didn’t mean she was incapable of or morally against sex for the sake of sex.
“With me, it’s an affair. It will never lead to more.”
In that moment, she felt more pity for him than anger.
“I’m sorry, Syd.”
Before she could reply, her phone trilled. She moved around him, happy for the distraction. “Doctor Preston.”
“Doctor Preston? It’s Alicia. I think my baby’s coming.”
Immediately, Sydney’s mind changed gears. “Are you having contractions?”
“Yes.” Alicia’s voice, so young and scared, wobbled. “They’re about five minutes apart. That’s when you said to call.”
Sydney kept her voice calm, hoping it would reassure Alicia. “Good. Is JD there? Do you have a ride to the hospital?”
“Yes. We’re on our way.”
“I’ll meet you there. Take deep breaths, Alicia. You’re going to be fine.” Sydney hung up and turned to Mitch. “I need to go to the hospital. I have a patient ready to have her baby.” The word “baby” hung between them. Had they married, they might have had a child, maybe even several by now.
“I’ll take you.”
“I’ll probably be there for awhile.”
“I’ll take you and wait.” The passionate lover in Mitch was gone. Now he was a protector, out to do his job.
Sydney disappeared around the corner while Mitch blew out a breath and headed to the waiting room. What had he been thinking to touch her like that? He hadn’t been thinking, that was the problem. The need to touch and taste her, to feel her around him gnawed at his insides. Like a hunger, he feared it wouldn’t go away unless he fed it. That didn’t make it right. In fact, Mitch held on to the belief it was wrong.
I haven’t been living like a nun. Her words drifted through his mind, and he hated them as much this time as when she’d first said them. He knew she had probably been with other men. It had been ten years, after all. But the thought of someone else touching her, sliding in and out of her… Mitch swore.
Sydney deserved more than a fling. A part of him wished he could give her more, but he knew love like they’d had before wasn’t sustainable. It had been real, but it was created in a safe bubble, where the ugliness of the world hadn’t been able to taint it.
Still, to be able to touch her one more time.
“Mitch.”
Mitch looked to the voice interrupting his inner diatribe.
“Hank.” Mitch stood, extending his hand to the man rushing toward him. Hank was several years older than Mitch, but they’d become friends when Mitch was in high school and dating Hank’s youngest sister. Even when that relationship ended, the two men retained a friendly acquaintance.
“Alicia is here. Have you seen her?”
Up until that moment, Mitch hadn’t put together that Sydney’s patient, Alicia, was Hank’s daughter. Mitch remembered the spunky little kid he’d seen with Hank on a few occasions during his dates with Hank’s sister. “I haven’t seen her, but I know she’s with the doctor.”
“Is JD with her?” Hank said the name JD as if it burned his tongue.
“I think he brought her.”
Hank dropped into a chair. “I’m not even forty, and I’m about to be a grandfather. Do I look old enough to be a grandfather to you, Mitch?”
Mitch sat next to him. “At least Alicia waited until she was nineteen to have a baby. You and Karen were what?”
“Seventeen.”
It was strange to think about. Like Mitch, Hank had fallen in love young. He and Karen had an unplanned pregnancy and, after only a couple years of marriage, Karen had bailed on Hank and Alicia. Now, Hank was only a few years older than Mitch, and he had a grown daughter and a grandchild on the way. It was another example of the messiness of life. Messiness Mitch wanted to avoid.
“Do you think she’s okay?” Hank stood, looking up the hall.
“She’s in good hands with Doctor Preston.”
Hank turned, giving Mitch an annoyed glance. “I don’t like her.”
“Really? Why?”
Hank looked again toward the doors behind which his daughter was having a baby, before returning to his seat next to Mitch. “When Alicia told me she was pregnant, we had it all planned out. She’d stay with me and work at the shop while my mom watched the baby.”
“Alicia is lucky to have you.”
“Yeah, well tell that to that Yankee doctor. They don’t understand family up there like we do here.”
“What happened?”
“Doctor Preston helped Alicia and JD find a place of their own.”
“You don’t like JD?”
“He’s alright, but they’re young. They don’t have any education. It’s not like when we were coming up, Mitch, and you could earn a living with a vocation.”
“How are they going to live?” Mitch always thought of Sydney as being practical. She wouldn’t encourage two kids to live on their own if they didn’t have the means to pay the rent.
“Alicia says she’s got some job from home answering phones for airlines or something. And she’s planning to sign up for online college courses.”
Mitch scanned his brain for why that plan was irrational. “I don’t know, Hank. Alicia and JD are about to be parents. Having a job and taking classes from home, where she can be with the baby, sounds like a good plan.”
Hank looked at Mitch as if he’d grown a third eye. “That’s my baby in there. What happens if JD or Alicia gets laid off? What will they do then?”
“Then they can live with you and your mom can watch the baby, just like you originally planned.”
Hank ran his hands over face. “Yeah. I know you’re right, but how the hell did this happen? Sometimes I envy you, Mitch. You figured out how to avoid all this.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re not married, have no kids, and if everything they say about you is true, you never will. No drama. No entanglements. No pacing the hospital because your nineteen-year-old daughter is having a baby.”
Mitch agreed, and yet, hearing Hank say it made his life sound empty and shallow. No, he told himself. It was safe. And he liked safe. No drama. No entanglements. No betrayal or heartbreak.
And wasn’t that what Sydney had agreed to? “Friends… with benefits.” She’d made it clear she not only understood his conditions, but she wanted them. And, Christ, he wanted her. He couldn’t remember wanting a woman as much as he wanted her. It was more than want. He was nearly desperate with it. He’d always liked women, been attracted to and enjoyed them. Sometimes the desire was intense, but not like this. The need ate at him, like every neuron was firing and would continue to fire until Sydney calmed them.
Hank stood, adjusted his baseball cap with the hunting camouflage design. “I imagine I’ll be here awhile. I’m gonna get coffee from one of the machines. Want some?”
“No. Thanks, Hank.”
As Hank went off to get coffee, Mitch tortured himself again with the pros and cons of giving in to his need for Sydney. He briefly considered calling one of his other lady friends, just to help him take the edge off. But besides the fact that it would make him a complete jerk and it was logistically impossible with Sydney staying with him, he knew it wouldn’t matter. Only Sydney would be able to satisfy the hunger. He’d thought he’d extinguished his feelings for her, but now he realized they had only been lying dormant, and now, were erupting to the surface. And he was helpless to stop it.
Hank wasn’t much in a talking mood when he returned, so Mitch perseverated on thoughts of Sydney for the next several hours until the door opened to the maternity ward and Sydney walked through. She was wearing pink
scrubs, and her hair was pulled back in the same ponytail she’d had the night before.
“It’s a girl. Everything went perfectly, Mr. Shoner.” She reached out and took Hank’s hand. “The nurses are getting her settled in a room and the baby checked out in the nursery, then she’ll be ready to see you.”
“How’s my baby?” Hank looked both in awe and nervous.
“She’s very well. And so is the baby’s father. You should be very proud of them.”
Hank nodded and changed the grip on Sydney’s hand so he could shake it, which he did until Mitch thought he might pull her arm from the socket. “Thank you, Doctor.”
She smiled and put her other hand over his, presumably to lessen the shaking. “You’re welcome, Grandpa.”
Hank looked at Mitch with a goofy grin. “I’m a grandpa.”
Mitch poked his tongue into the side of his mouth. “Yes. Congratulations.”
Sydney turned her attention to Mitch. “I need to take care of a few things. It’s going to be a little while longer.”
“I’ll wait.”
“I’ll let you know when I’m ready.”
Mitch watched her as she walked away.
“So you and the doc, huh?” Hank patted Mitch on the back.
Mitch’s first instinct was to tell Hank it wasn’t like that, except, if Mitch got another chance, that was exactly what it would be.
Chapter Thirteen
They made idle conversation on the drive back to Mitch’s. In some ways, Sydney was glad. Delivering a baby was exhilarating, but in the hours afterward, she was often tired. Partly because so many babies came after regular work hours. And partly, it took a lot of energy to be “on” and ready for anything. As routine as having a baby was, things could go wrong in a hurry.
“You okay?”
She turned to Mitch’s question. He cast her a quick glance before returning his gaze to the road.
“Yes.”
“Everything went okay with the delivery?”
“Yes. Why?”
“You’re quiet.”
“It’s been a long day.”
He drove in silence. “I’m sorry… about earlier.”
She was about to say it was okay but decided to tell him what she really thought. “Maybe before you kiss me again, you can sort out your feelings, because I’m getting whiplash from your hot and cold behavior.”
His jaw tensed, and he looked out the side window for a moment. “I’m sorry. This situation is complicated.”
“It’s not, Mitch. You either forgive me and we can friends, with or without the benefits, or you don’t and we stay away from each other. It’s actually simple.”
He gnashed his teeth. “I’m trying to do what’s right.”
“For who? Not for me, you’re not. In fact, based on your reputation, your constant rejection of me is insulting.”
“How do you see this playing out?” His voice was tense. The conversation was clearly not going in the direction he’d wanted.
“It’s like a high school reunion. We catch up. Learn what’s the same, what’s different, what’s changed.”
Lots had changed. He had to have new skills in the bedroom. Thinking about what those large hands and magnificent lips to could do to her made her shift in her seat. He, on the other hand, might be disappointed. She hadn’t been a nun, but she also hadn’t had the benefit of multiple lovers to practice new tricks on.
“Are we talking about bedroom games?”
“Sure. I imagine you have many new moves.”
He pulled in behind her car in his driveway. He stopped and put the truck in park. Then he turned to her. “I’ve got many.” He studied her, and she wondered if he was waiting for her to react to the fact that he was throwing his experience in her face. Was he trying to scare her off? Was it a test of how committed she was to following through? After all, of the two of them, he was the one who kept changing his mind.
His head tilted to the side. “Do I get a second chance?”
“What happens if I say yes?”
“We go into the house. Within about thirty seconds, we’ll both be naked. If we don’t make it to the bedroom, we can use the couch.”
Heat flashed over her skin, and he hadn’t even touched her. He didn’t have to. His words, the intensity of his eyes promising she’d not be disappointed, made her blood run hot straight to her center.
“Are you going to change your mind when things heat up?”
His lips quirked. “No.”
“One more chance then.”
Sydney wasn’t sure how she managed to make it up the walk and steps. Her legs were Jell-O, made even more difficult when Mitch rested his hand on her lower back. Just that. The heat of his hand, the feel of his palm, his thumb rubbing gently, nearly melted her into a heap.
The only indication that he was affected was the slight shake in his fingers as he unlocked the door.
He held it open and let her in. She was about to turn, but he grabbed her and pressed her against the door, and immediately his hands were pulling away her clothing. He wasn’t kidding about the thirty seconds.
Her hands were frantic as they slid under his shirt, caressing the hot, hard planes of his chest. Before she could push the shirt up and off, he was yanking hers off, his lips feasting on a bra-covered breast. She gasped, thrilled at the sensations of the tug of her nipple with his teeth and his hands sliding down her backside as he pushed her pants off. She kicked off her shoes and stepped out of her pants.
“You too.” She reached for his shirt again.
He complied, yanking his shirt over his head and tossing it aside.
It gave him a moment to look at her, standing in her bra and panties. Her nipples were hard peaks, but the way his eyes raked over her made them ache and reach out for more.
“We need a bed.” He grabbed her, and they stumbled their way up the hall, bouncing against the walls like pinballs, lips fused as they worked off their remaining clothes.
She bumped into something followed by a rattle and crash. But there was no time to check on it as Mitch pushed her onto the bed. He was still in his briefs, which was unacceptable, so she immediately sat, gripped the waistband, and pulled. His erection sprang free, bobbing red, engorged, in front of her, begging for attention. She complied, snaking her tongue out, swirling around the tip.
He let out an expletive. Stepping away, he leaned over, opened a drawer, and pulled out a condom. Mitch groaned as he sheathed himself.
Then he was over her. “Please, God, tell me you’re ready.”
“Yes.” She was past ready. She had a moment to think this was going too fast, and yet, there was no way to slow it down. Her body trembled with fierce need.
As if to make sure, his fingers slid between her legs. Apparently he was satisfied as he adjusted his hips, grabbing hers with both hands, and, in one long push, he was in.
Sydney’s hands gripped him and held him to her as his fullness filled her. How long had she dreamt about this moment? How many times had she fantasized about being one with him again? It was better than she remembered. Better than she’d dreamed. Her hands slid over his body. It was harder, leaner, and stronger than before.
“Now, now, now…” Mitch hooked his hand under her thigh and lifted it, opening her to him.
She wouldn’t have thought it possible he could fill her more, but he pushed and filled her again. She arched, reaching for more. Each slide of him sending her higher and higher. She moved with him, finding a rhythm that drove them both harder, faster to the edge. She was unable to take in full breaths, but what did it matter? Nothing mattered but him and the sweet torment of their mating.
He grunted and shifted to slide a hand between their bodies.
“Sydney.” Her name came out on a groan, as his fingers rubbed the sensitive nub between her thighs. That one touch shot her to the heavens, her orgasm exploding in a wave radiating from her center to the tips of her toes and the top of her head.
Her moan
intertwined with his, as he levered himself on both hands and pumped relentlessly, in and out, drawing out her pleasure. He let out an expletive and slammed into her, holding and grinding. He did it again and again until, with a last groan, he collapsed on her.
His heart hammered against her chest, surprisingly in time with her own. She held him, wanting to prolong this moment as long as possible. This was just sex but, for that moment, she could savor the feeling it was more, even though she knew it would lead to disappointment and hurt.
It was pathetic what she was willing to do to be near him again. But she pushed that thought aside and held him until he rolled off, lying on his back, flopping his arm over his eyes.
“Let me catch my breath.”
She nodded, unable to respond until her own breathing returned to normal. She wanted to curl up next to him but wasn’t sure he’d be open to it. Did affairs involve cuddling?
She watched him, and eventually his head turned, and he grinned. “That wasn’t much different from the first time.”
It took her a moment to catch his reference. But then she remembered: the first time they’d made love. They were eighteen, and while neither had been a virgin, they’d been eager, and needy, and it was over quickly. There were some differences, though. For one, that first time didn’t have the same frantic desperation about it. And second, she hadn’t had an orgasm, much less a mind-blowing one.
“Except…” He turned to his side, sliding a hand over her lower belly. “I think I succeeded in making you come this time.”
Her cheeks warmed. “Yes.”
“Good to know I’ve improved.” His lips wrapped around her still-sensitive nipple, tugging lightly. “And, I don’t remember you being so willing to use your mouth.”
She blinked until understanding dawned, causing her cheeks to heat again as she remembered how she laved his erection before he unceremoniously pushed her back and took her on a hard, fast ride. He was right that she’d been hesitant to use her mouth on him during college, not because she didn’t like it, or thought it was wrong, but because she could never be sure she was doing it right. Sydney hated feeling inept, and while she made the effort to please him, and he’d never complained, she’d never felt comfortable. But tonight, she hadn’t even thought about it. She was driven by desire and instinct.
