by Jenna Harte
“Thank you, Doctor Lexie.”
“It’s nurse.”
She stood and he thanked God she was leaving.
“Mitch?”
“What?”
“Brian would be so grateful for all you do for Chelsea. He’d be glad you lived so you could bring those bastards down. But he’d want you to be happy too. He’d want you to stop paying this self-imposed penance.”
His chest ached at the thought of Brian.
“You should take a weekend away. New York is nice this time of year. You can even stay in Drake’s penthouse, but if you do reconcile with Sydney, stay in the guest room. I don’t want to imagine my brother doing the deed in my bed.”
“Get out.” He said it with annoyed but brotherly affection.
“I’m serious. Go. If you do, I’ll forgive you for interrogating my husband about Jenny’s attack, because I’ll be able to see it was done out of genuine love for Sydney.”
“I was wondering when you were going to hassle me on that.”
She grinned. “Go to New York and I won’t.”
As soon as he shut the door behind Lexie, Mitch raided his booze cabinet. He poured himself several fingers of whisky. Deciding it wouldn’t be enough, he brought the bottle with him to the living room. He brooded for a moment then went to the hall closet, pulling out a box of his keepsakes and bringing it back to the living room. After downing his whisky, and pouring more, he opened the box.
He took out the pictures of Brian and him. They’d been inseparable since the first day of kindergarten, where they’d played pirates with sticks until the teachers put them in time out. He looked at pictures of them trick-or-treating, Mitch as Superman and Brian as Batman. They’d played sports and one of the two of them was always the best on the team. Mitch had been the quarterback, while Brian was a receiver. Brian was the pitcher on the baseball team, while Mitch played first base. They hunted and fished. They double dated. Mitch winced at the prom pictures, both of them sporting what they thought looked like a full mustache, but now, looked more like a shadow.
God, he’d loved and admired Brian. It was his fault he was dead. Of course, he needed to pay penance. Brian would never love. Would never have a family.
But Mitch was self-aware enough to know his reluctance to love wasn’t part of his penance. His desire to avoid love was to prevent heart-wrenching pain and loss. He rubbed a hand on his chest, as if it would soothe the pain. If Lexie was right, and he’d raged at Sydney for the wrong reason, he’d feel guilt, but he wasn’t convinced that the resulting end of their relationship wasn’t a good thing. The longer the relationship grew, the more difficult it would be when it ended.
He looked at a picture of him and Brian in their military fatigues, taken a few months after they’d arrived in Iraq. Brian had been trying to cheer him up because Mitch hadn’t gotten over Sydney.
“You need to go to her when you get home and get her back in your life.”
“She doesn’t want me. She’s ignored all my attempts to get in touch with her.”
“Doesn’t matter. You need to try. You’re a better man with her in your life.”
“You’re delusional.”
Brian patted him on the back. “Let’s face it, bro. You’re never gonna be happy until she’s in your life again. And I bet it’s the same for her.”
“You sure know a lot about love for someone who hasn’t had a steady girlfriend since our sophomore year in high school.”
Brian grinned. “I’m looking and when I find her, you can bet I’ll do whatever I can to keep her. You’ve already found her.”
Mitch hadn’t sought out Sydney after he was discharged, hadn’t tried to fix things with her. He’d made a life without her and was doing fine.
“Liar,” he swore he could hear Brian’s voice say. It happened sometimes, especially when Mitch was at his lowest.
So, maybe his life wasn’t perfect, but he had a good job and family. He had enjoyable sex with women who, like him, just wanted a good time. There was nothing wrong with that. Except, it was never as satisfying as what he’d had with Sydney, physically or emotionally.
But to take that chance? He’d been willing to start a relationship with her hours ago, so why not now? If Lexie was right and Sydney had only just gotten the letters, then nothing had changed. Except for the fact that he’d raged at her, pissed her off, and made her leave town.
At the very least, he needed to find out the truth and apologize to her. He pulled out his phone, uncertain what he’d say, but dialed her number anyway. She didn’t pick up and he had a profound sense of déjà vu. Ten years ago he’d tried to call and apologize, but she hadn’t answered then either. The difference was he’d waited more than a week to call her the first time, which had given her… no, her mother… time to intervene and prevent his calls and messages from getting through. So, was she purposefully not answering now? Or worse, what if her attacker had gotten to her?
Panic shivered along Mitch’s spine. Her voice mail answered. “Syd, it’s Mitch. Look, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me, but not answering only makes me worried. Call or if you don’t want to hear my voice, text me to let me know you’re alright.” He clicked off and swore. Now that she was out of reach and out of touch, the loss weighed heavy on his soul. He’d had her right here, in his home, in his arms, and he’d pushed her away. He was the biggest idiot on earth.
While he waited for her to respond, he distracted himself by checking in with Kevin. Jenny was doing well and would be going home in a few days.
“We’re talking about starting a family.”
“Really?” A mixture of jealousy and sorrow filled Mitch. He could have had that. Until he heard Kevin mention it, Mitch didn’t know he wanted it.
“We were planning to wait. Jen wanted to finish school, but now she doesn’t want to put it off. She doesn’t want to put anything off, which means school and a baby. And we’re also going to be buying a bigger house.”
Mitch heard nerves in Kevin’s voice, but also love. “That’s great, man. If it’s a boy, you’ll name him Mitch, right?”
“You’ll have to take that up with Jen.”
Mitch laughed. “Send her my love.”
“Will do. Anything new with the case?”
Mitch checked his watch. Nearly twenty minutes had passed since he’d called Sydney. “The case has been reassigned to Kripke.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s a long story that I don’t want to get into.”
There was silence, and Mitch could only imagine what Kevin might be thinking. “I’ll give him a call then.”
“He’ll do the job.”
“Yeah. I just felt better knowing it was you.”
Another thing to feel guilty about. He’d let his best friend and partner down. How the hell did he manage to disappoint or hurt everyone he cared about?
“Because you’re a coward,” Brian’s voice, or he supposed his own conscience, said. He wanted to apologize, but Jenny started talking to Kevin.
“I gotta run. The little woman calls. Ouch. She hates it when I call her that.” Kevin cut off the call.
Mitch checked his phone, hoping he’d simply not heard a beep indicating a text or message. Nothing. “Come on, Syd. I just need to know you’re okay.”
Unable to wait any longer, Mitch called Fletcher to ask for her parents’ phone number. While Mitch didn’t think he completely bought his reason for wanting the Preston’s phone number, he rattled it off.
Mitch immediately dialed the number.
“Can I speak to Sydney, please?”
“Doctor Preston isn’t here. May I take a message?”
Mitch’s fear grew. Where was she?
“May I speak to Mr. or Mrs. Preston?” Mitch asked the woman who answered the phone.
“May I ask who’s calling?”
“Detective McKenna from Charlotte Tavern.” Mitch wondered if they’d recognize his name. It was better if they didn’t. He co
uld pretend to be the concerned cop on their daughter’s case.
“Mr. McKenna.” Mrs. Preston’s use of mister as opposed to detective indicated she knew exactly who he was.
“I’m looking for Sydney. She isn’t picking up her phone.”
“Well, she wouldn’t, would she?”
Mitch sighed. “I understand she’s angry at me, but I’m concerned for her safety.”
“Why?”
Mrs. Preston’s tone maintained its annoyance, but at least she didn’t hang up. Her question also suggested Sydney hadn’t told her about Jenny’s attack.
“We had an attack at the hospital in Charlotte Tavern, and we’re fairly sure the intended target was Sydney.”
There was a pause. “Why would you think that?” The annoyance was replaced with alarm.
“Our victim was stabbed from behind, wearing Sydney’s raincoat while standing near Sydney’s car. Based on what Sydney said happened to her in New York, it’s too similar to be coincidental.”
“I see.” But she didn’t elaborate.
“I promised Sydney I’d keep her safe.”
“You’re not doing a very good job.”
He supposed he’d walked into that one. “You can help by telling me how I can find her.”
“I’ll call her.”
Mitch swore under his breath. Who knows what her mom would say. “Can you ask her to contact me?”
Silence.
“Look, I know you don’t like me.”
“No, Mr. McKenna, I don’t, but not for the reason you think. I have no qualms with your socioeconomic status. In fact, Sydney’s father and I both liked you quite a bit when you were in college.”
That was news to Mitch.
“You helped bring Sydney out of her shell, got her involved in activities, and, until the end, you loved and respected her. Sydney mentioned you blamed us for your breakup, but we didn’t make you enlist or change all the plans you’d made. You were the one leaving. And who knew if you’d return? Why should she put her life on hold for you?”
Mitch bit his lower lip. He wanted to respond and yet, Mrs. Preston was right. Like with everything in their relationship, he was the problem.
“Can you please ask her to call or text me that she’s alright? Or will you call me?”
“Thank you for calling Mr. McKenna.” The line went dead before he could beg again.
“Son of a…” He nearly threw his phone. Instead, he paced. There was only one thing to do. He dialed Lexie’s number. “I need to go to New York. Can you help me?”
Chapter Eighteen
Sydney sat on the overstuffed couch in Julia’s apartment and cried, yelled, and cried some more. Through it all, Julia was there. She might be conceited and impulsive, but she knew how to be a friend when one was needed.
“I’m not going to say ‘I told you so.’”
“You just did.” Sydney blew her nose on a tissue, bringing back memories of Mitch and his handkerchiefs.
“No. I said I’m not going to say it. Because sometimes even knowing or suspecting something is going to happen, you still need to go through it. You wondered if what you and Mitch had was still there or could be there, and the answer is no.”
“For a moment, it felt like yes.”
Julia’s eyes were filled with sympathy. “Sex isn’t love.”
Sydney had been so sure that, despite their agreement to a casual affair, there had been something more. At least that second night, when he’d touched her so lovingly, tenderly. You matter. The memory of his words brought a new set of tears to her eyes.
Her phone chirped. She pulled it out. “It’s him.” Her heart stuttered, half with hope and half with despair.
“No, uh-uh.” Julia plucked the phone from her, shoving it under the cushion of her chair. “He had his chance and he missed it.”
“He might be sorry.”
“He probably is. Just like he was sorry the last time. He’ll be sorry the next time. How many times are you going to give him?”
Julia was right. Mitch might care for her, but his distrust ran so deep, the odds of him misinterpreting something else in the future were strong. Without trust, a relationship couldn’t survive.
“Why don’t I call Patrick? He can make us those incredible crepes with chocolate. We can pretend to let him psychoanalyze me. I love that game.”
Sydney mustered a smile. “He will say ‘I told you so.’”
“I’ll call him a jerk. Come on. It’ll be fun.”
From underneath Julia’s chair cushion, Sydney heard the faint beep of her phone indicating she had a text.
Julia’s brows rose as she shook her head.
Sydney sighed. “Sure. Call Patrick.”
The crepes were delicious, and the company was just what Sydney needed. Patrick said, “I told you so,” and Julia told him he was a jerk. Sydney was glad she’d decided to stay with Julia rather than her parents. She’d called her mom and told her she’d be in New York for the weekend. That was all she planned to say, but then her mom asked about the letters and Sydney told her everything — how they’d grown closer, what Mitch said when he saw the letters, how hurt she was. The one thing she didn’t tell her mom was about Jenny’s attack. She didn’t want her parents to worry.
Instead of staying with her parents, she was spending the evening with her two oldest and best friends. “You guys are just what I need. The three musketeers.”
“Damn right.” Julia held up her wineglass in salute.
When Sydney’s phone chirped again, she didn’t make a move to get it. Julia and Patrick were right. She’d learned what she’d gone to Charlotte Tavern to find out. It was time to put her and Mitch behind her, at least that was what her mind said. Her heart wasn’t there yet. She feared her heart would never be there.
When Julia’s phone rang, all three of them looked at each other.
“What are the odds he’d get my number?”
“He’s a detective. He can get information easily.”
“It’s your mom.” Julia poked the button on her phone. “Mrs. Preston, how are you?”
Sydney waited through the silence.
“Yeah, sure. She’s right here.” Julia whispered. “You sober enough to talk to your mom?”
Sydney took the phone. Sober or not, she was going to find out why her mom had hunted her down. “Mom?”
“Sydney, thank goodness. Why didn’t you tell me there was an incident in Virginia? I had to hear it from Mitch.”
She felt hope rise at the off chance that Mitch’s call to her parents meant something. “Why did he call you?”
“He said he was worried because he couldn’t reach you, which, at first, I thought was a lame excuse, but then he told me what happened in Virginia. Why didn’t you tell me? This mad man is still after you?”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Sydney, I’m your mother. Worry is all I’ve done since the day you were born. Does Detective Fletcher know you’re in town?”
“I didn’t tell him.” But Sydney was confident Mitch had. Mitch might have major trust issues, but he kept his word.
“Do you think you’re safe at Julia’s? Maybe you should call Patrick to stay with you two.”
“Patrick is here.”
“Good. I feel better about that.” There was a pause. “I don’t think much of Mitch as a love interest, but he sounded worried. If it was truly his job to protect you, you should contact him just to let him know you’re okay.”
That was unexpected. She wanted to tell her mom Julia had confiscated her phone, but there was no way to say it without sounding like a pouting child. “I will.”
“When will you be stopping by to visit us?”
“How about breakfast?”
“I’ll have Anna set an extra plate. Be safe, Sydney.”
“I will, Mom. I love you.” Sydney clicked off the phone. “She wants me to contact Mitch.”
Julia shook her head and waved her
index finger side to side. “I don’t believe you. Tell her, Patrick. Her mom wouldn’t do that.”
Patrick studied Sydney as if he’d be able to see the truth or lie in her statement. “She might. I take it he told her about what happened in Virginia?”
Sydney nodded.
“I can’t believe he interrogated you.” Julia acted put out, as if she was the one Mitch had accused.
“He questioned me, and with good reason.”
“Why? You didn’t do it.”
“No. But by questioning me, he shows he’s thorough.” Patrick turned his attention to Sydney. “He didn’t listen to you, or am I assuming too much by thinking you told him I’d never hurt you.”
“I told him he was wasting his time, but he went to see you anyway.” Sydney remembered when he came back. How he’d taken her up on her offer to be friends with benefits. Her body heated, thinking about all the ways he’d touched her. “He talked to Jagger too.”
The minute it was out of her mouth, she regretted it.
Julia’s eyes blazed with fire. “Why?”
“He’s in Charlotte Tavern and he’s from New York.”
“So?”
“Julia, how many people in New York have ever heard of Charlotte Tavern? It doesn’t take a detective to realize that whoever it is followed Sydney,” Patrick admonished. “Did he talk to Drake Carmichael?”
Sydney frowned, “I don’t know. I can’t imagine he would. I’d known of him but never met him until I went to Virginia.”
“Drake wouldn’t need to stab anyone. All he’d have to do is give a death stare with those steely eyes of his.” Julia finished off her wine while simultaneously reaching for the bottle.
“How do you know about Drake’s steely eyes?”
Julia had met Drake at the fair in Virginia, but there had been nothing steely about him that day. Sydney couldn’t imagine Julia would catch his eye. She was beautiful and fun but a little too flighty for a serious man like him. Then again, he’d married Lexie. But she wasn’t flighty. She was a free spirit.
