by Terri Lane
“Yeah, I mean I can push some stuff around. The legal team need to get some documents ready for the merger anyway, so why don’t we all go out and do something fun? I heard there’s a really cool theme park around here somewhere.”
The magic words ‘theme park’ were enough to have the kids excited. They stared at him like he was the best thing on the planet before racing to their respective bedrooms to get dressed. I chuckled loudly as I heard them yelling to one another about what rides they were looking forward to going on.
“I want to find the biggest roller coaster!”
“I like the bumper cars!”
“Wow, I think you’re on the road to becoming very popular,” I grinned brightly. “That’s such a cool thing you’re doing for them. It must be difficult for you to rearrange all your work?”
“Maybe,” he shrugged, acting blasé about it but I could tell that there was something going on inside of him. This was much more of a monumental move on his behalf than he was willing to let on. “But you made me realize last night that I need to try harder.”
“I did?” I couldn’t remember saying anything like that, I thought I was pretty useless to be honest. I knew that there was more I should’ve said, but it seemed that somehow, I’d managed to have an impact anyway.
“Yeah, just talking about it helped me to clarify. I’ve been trying to push my issues to one side, trying to get through things with my head buried in the sand, and now I can see that’s idiotic. I’m not the only one who lost Phoebe, I’m not the only one with grief. Rather than all separating we should’ve been working together.”
It was really sweet that all he needed was an ear to listen to him, I was glad that I could be that. Maybe if we could push past all the stupid kiss stuff then we could actually be friends.
“Wow, well that’s awesome. I think the kids will really appreciate it.” They knew more than Evan was aware of, they were aware that he was giving up a lot for them, and I knew that they’d love it. I might have only been in this family for a few days, but I could easily see where their issues lay.
“I’m going to need you there,” he warned, standing up. “You’re going to be my buffer in case I fail really badly. I’ve never connected with these kids, this is going to be a huge day for all of us.”
“Well I’m more than happy to be a part of it,” I smiled proudly. “Thank you. I’ll go and get ready now, and then we can get going.”
“You better be quick, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold Lorna and James off.”
As I walked to my bedroom, there was a wide smile playing on my lips. The kids were screaming, Evan was happy, I had to be the best damn nanny on the whole planet. Hopefully this would lead to me getting a permeant job, this was a family that I would love to work with forever. It wouldn’t just be for the good pay either, I liked the kids a lot, and I liked Evan too. Maybe a little too much, but that was beside the point.
For a moment, I wondered what it’d be like if we met in a different situation, one where I didn’t have a shattered, fragile heart in dire need of repair, one where Evan wasn’t my boss and we could actually do this. It’d be incredible to take that spark and just run with it. It would probably turn into the best relationship ever. If that kiss was anything to go by, we would have a steamy connection that would last forever more.
But no, I had to stop those thoughts from ever entering my mind. Today wasn’t about me, it was about doing something to bring the Hawlin family back together. If Evan wasn’t going to talk about that kiss, then I wasn’t either. We would just blow past it and hope that nothing like that ever happened again.
***
“Oh my God, dad, that was amazing!” James exclaimed excitedly. The wind had blown his hair all over the place, his eyes were shiny and wet, he had the typical slightly pale look of someone who had just been scared to death on a roller coaster, but he was happy. That was the most important thing. “Can we do it again?”
“You go,” I chuckled as he glanced at me, looking for permission. “Me and Lorna will go and win some more prizes.”
This was going so incredibly well, better than I could’ve even hoped. It was so obvious from an outside perspective that all this family needed was some time together, and I was so glad that had finally happened. Evan was probably kicking himself that he’d let things get so bad, but now his fog of grief had lifted slightly, so hopefully things would be better from here on out.
“Where do you want to go, Lorna?”
As she raced around the park, and I followed as closely behind as I could, it hit me hard how deep I was in. This was an incredible family, one I adored a lot, and it’d only been a short time. Maybe nannying wasn’t for me, at least when I was in the nursery I couldn’t get too attached. It was going to be a wrench to leave these people, I didn’t think I could do it all the time.
“Let’s do this, I want to win a teddy bear.”
I took the fairground gun, and aimed it at the target, a rush of adrenaline coursing through my body. I loved seeing Lorna grin, I really wanted to make that happen, especially when she was missing out on going on the rides with her father and brother because she was just a little too short.
“You can do it!” she squealed excitedly, bouncing up and down next to me. “Come on, Ali!”
I tugged on the trigger, and pulled off the first shot, pulling my eyes back just to see it bouncing off the wall. I glanced down at Lorna, just to see her bottom lip popping out. This wasn’t her acting like a spoiled brat, I got the distinct impression that this was much more about having a memento of the amazing day, and I really wanted to give her that. If this was that important to her, it was important to me too.
Determination surged, I aimed the gun again and pulled the trigger with a cold, calm determination. Still, I missed. Then on the third shot, somehow, despite all the odds being stacked against me, it hit. The target flung backwards, and happiness exploded in my chest.
“Yes!” Lorna screamed, while jumping up and down. “Yes, thank you, Ali. You hit it! I get a prize.”
A massive beaming grin spread across my cheeks as I saw her choose a little pink teddy bear. It was absolutely obvious from the shine in her eyes that this was something she would treasure forever more. I was so glad that I could contribute towards that memory for her.
“Thank you so much,” she gasped happily. “I love this so much. It’ll remind me of you forever. Especially when you’re gone…”
Uh oh, there was that sadness again. I needed to change the subject before tears streamed down her face. It was hard enough for me to keep it together without Lorna sobbing too.
“Come on,” I slid her fingers through mine and brought her closer to me. “Let’s go and see if we can find a funny picture of James and your dad. There is bound to be some silly ones of them pulling scared faces on the rides. We can buy one for them to keep. That will make them laugh.”
By the time we found James and Evan again, Lorna had the silliest picture of them clutched between her fingers. She could barely contain the giggle that was bubbling in her throat at the thought of them seeing it. That was a good idea on my part, it really turned her mood around.
“Dad, dad, look!” she flashed it in his face before he could even begin to get his spinning head in order. “I found a photo of you and James screaming.”
Evan’s eyes almost welled up as he took the picture from her, years of hurt all beginning to heal in the sweetest way possible. “Wow, thank you so much, but now we need to get one of all of us.”
“Ali too?”
I instantly shook my head, not wanting to be a permeant feature in their family’s happy moment, but it didn’t seem like I was going to get away with it that easily.
“Yeah, come on, dad,” James jumped in with a grin. “Let’s all do it.”
“Okay sure,” Evan gazed at me and I could see it again, that intensity behind his gaze, which caused a deep and powerful and stirring inside of me. “I think I spotted a phot
o booth just around the corner somewhere. Let’s go and find it.”
My feet barely touched the ground as I walked behind the family, this all felt so overwhelming. I knew that I’d made a difference already, but still for them to accept me so much…
After being rejected by absolutely everyone in my life, this was so lovely.
“Here we are.”
The kids quickly bounded in, and Evan indicated for me to follow them. As we squeezed our bodies inside I started to feel a little bit like this was all wrong. We were so close, all pressed up together, and as Evan joined us I became acutely aware of every single inch of him. His leg was touching mine, his arm was behind me barely brushing my back, I could hear every little bit of his breath. It was very difficult to concentrate on myself. My arms felt weird, my heart was racing quickly in my chest, I felt my whole body heat up with emotion.
All I could think about was the damn kiss that I’d been trying so hard to forget.
“Okay, ready?” Evan didn’t seem anywhere near as messed up as me. Did our kiss not affect him at all? Maybe it was just me freaking out for no reason! Maybe he did that sort of thing all the time. “Smile, say cheese.”
I tried my best to force my face to appear normal, but there was a definite strain there. I felt like a silly, pathetic school girl with a crush, I even redeveloped all my awkward teenage tendencies. I was sure that would probably come across in the picture, but I couldn’t seem to control myself.
***
“Oh God, I’m so tired,” Lorna exclaimed as she practically fell through the door to the villa. “I’m going to go to bed.”
“Me too,” James grumbled, which made me laugh. This was the first time I’d seen the kids racing off to get some sleep, which proved what an awesome day they’d had. Evan had done incredibly well with them, I was sure he had to be proud.
“Night!” I called out behind them, but I didn’t get much of a response. They were both gone. “Well, that was something else,” I turned to Evan, instantly noticing a massive smile spreading across his cheeks. “They really enjoyed it.”
“Yeah, I know, it made me realize just how much I’ve missed out on.” He sat down at the table and furrowed his eyebrows thoughtfully. “I’ve become so sucked in by the business, it’s mad really. What I should’ve been doing is hanging out with my children. They’re such amazing kids, I feel so bad for not spending enough time with them.”
“Well, no, you’ve achieved a lot with your company. You’ve done well for yourself, and them. Yes, maybe you’ve missed out a bit, but now you have all the time in the world to make up for that. What you did today meant a whole lot to them.”
“I’m going to get a drink,” he changed the subject rapidly, as if he couldn’t quite stand to talk about it anymore, and he moved across the room. “Would you like to have one with me?”
I probably shouldn’t, I knew that it was risky move, but we’d had such a nice day. One drink wouldn’t hurt, would it? “Oh yeah, that’d be lovely.”
He poured two glasses of a champagne that I didn’t even recognize the name of. It was obviously an expensive brand that someone like me didn’t know.
“Here you are.”
As I sucked back a sip, it was like heaven in my mouth, nicer than anything I’d ever tasted before. I didn’t want to get too used to the finer things in life because it wouldn’t be too long before I was back to crappy three dollar wine from the local store, but still… for now I could relish in it.
“So,” I leaned forward onto my elbows, already noticing a buzz racing through me. “Did you enjoy today? You look like you were having a good time.”
“I really did,” he smiled happily. “The kids are awesome. I’m proud of myself too, this is the sort of relationship that Phoebe always wanted me to have with the children, this is what I should’ve done all along. It shouldn’t have taken me this long, but at least I’m doing it now.”
“She sounds like she was an amazing woman.” I hoped that I wasn’t stepping on any toes, but he did bring her up to me first. It would probably be weirder if I said nothing.
“She really was…” he glanced at me, giving me a totally indecipherable look. There was clearly something going on behind his eyes, but I couldn’t work out what it was. I cocked my head curiously to one side, but I couldn’t quite find the words to ask him what was going on, but as it turned out I didn’t have to. “I guess that’s why I haven’t been able to find someone else since her, someone anywhere near as good. Maybe that’s why I threw myself so much into my work too. I was scared that I wouldn’t ever find anyone to compare.”
“I get that,” I murmured, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. This was definitely an odd topic to be discussing with someone who I’d shared a kiss with. Was he trying to give me a hint that he didn’t want anything more? If so that was okay, I’d already made the decision to keep away anyway. This had to all be about work, however squishy and excited he made me feel inside.
“And then you came into my life.”
Uh oh, my eyes snapped up at him, shock rendering me speechless. What the hell was he saying here? I was totally torn between what my heart really wanted him to say, and what my head knew was right. I opened my mouth to speak, but snapped it shut quickly before I could say something stupid.
“You’re different,” he mused thoughtfully. “Not like anyone I’ve ever met before.”
“What do you mean?” I whispered, unable to give my voice any volume. It was almost as if my mouth was afraid of what would happen next.
“I mean, you’re sweet, and sexy too.” My heart stopped dead in my chest, did he just call me sexy? He had to be joking. “And really nice. You see things that no one else does. I don’t know what it is, but I feel like there’s something there between us.”
Okay, he was delving right in there, getting straight into the difficult conversation. I had never experienced that before, things with Max were always so roundabout. The only way he’d ever been direct was with the breakup, and that was only because I caught him in action. And actually, it was Taylor who gave me the blunt harsh truth.
I stared up at him, feeling everything within me shift. Of course I liked Evan too, I’d been trying to squash down my feelings ever since I first laid eyes on him, but that was for a good reason. Just because he’d expressed an interest in me didn’t change any of that…
But the way that he was looking at me really did. It was hard to resist someone staring at me with such lust and adoration. It made me feel powerful and sexy. My body was screaming at me to jump on him, to kiss him, to totally give myself over to him, and it was slowly drowning out all the rational thoughts in my brain.
I needed to make a choice soon, Evan was moving over to me, giving me a deep, dark, desire filled look. He wanted to devour me, and I needed to decide whether or not I was going to let him. If I defied everything that I decided to do, then I would be in for what promised to be the best night of my life. My body pulsated and ached to experience that, but it wasn’t the night I was worried about. It was tomorrow morning.
He laced his fingers through mine and slowly tugged me in closer for a kiss. This was it, my chance to make up my mind, but it seemed as if I’d lost all control of myself…
***
His lips pressed gently against mine, much gentler than the last time we kissed. It was almost as if he was asking permission this time, which sent desire flurrying all over me. This man was powerful and controlling, yet he was asking something of me… and my God I wanted to give it to him.
I parted my lips, and allowed him to snake his tongue inside, and as I did, I felt him lift me up from my seat. His hands were around my waist, exploring my curves, and as I ran my fingers up his strong, muscular back an involuntary moan escaped past my lips. He’d barely touched me and already my body was crying out for him. There was no pulling away this time no matter what the smart thing to do was.
“Come on, let’s go to my bedroom,” he whispered, his breath tant
alizingly tickling my lips.
I nodded against his mouth, and allowed him to guide me across the villa. My heart thundered wildly in my chest, my ears were buzzing with lust, my tummy danced happily. Everything about me felt glad to give into temptation, even though it hadn’t been long, it felt like I’d been pushing it down forever, so whether there’d be complications or not I was glad to finally experience it.
This was crazy, I knew that, but it felt too damn good to resist.
As soon as we made it into the bedroom, Evan spun around and claimed me with his mouth. Now that he knew what I wanted, he’d become the powerful, commanding man I knew him as and that felt incredible too.
“On to the bed, you,” he teased, slapping my butt which caused me to squeal. I complied with his commands, wanting that too. As soon as I set my body down on that bed, it meant that this was really happening. “And now, I’m going to take that sexy summer dress off you because it’s been driving me crazy all day long.”
It seemed that I hadn’t been alone in my intense sexual frustration after all. It felt good to know that he’d been watching me too, it made me feel even more desirable.
As the material slid up over my body, I wriggled out of it happily. The way that Evan was looking at me had me wanting him to see more. Usually I was pretty shy about my body, especially when it was being seen for the very first time, but since Evan had already seen me in my bikini I knew it was going to be okay. He liked me anyway, so what was the point in holding back?
“You’re so beautiful,” Evan murmured happily as he gazed upon my milky skin, with only black lacy underwear covering me. “You have no idea how gorgeous.”
Evan was definitely the sort of man who could’ve had anyone in the world. He had probably been with supermodel types his whole life, he was sexy enough to claim anyone, but for some reason he wanted me and that drove my body wild.
As he kissed me once more, the fire was lit, everything within me sparked and I clung to him as if there was no tomorrow. My nails were trying their best to dig into his beefy muscular shoulders, but he had too much material in the way.
