by Jaime Lewis
Frost was grateful that Ace and Alex had invited him tonight. It had turned out to be an enjoyable evening with friends, plus it had taken his mind off the dynamic redhead who’d been invading his thoughts twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
He wondered what she was up to this evening. He had enjoyed their evening together the other night. While they ate, Cody told Frost about his upcoming trip to Washington, D.C., with his Sea Cadet division. Frost knew all about the program. He and Stitch were part of the local division when they were in middle and high school. His SEAL team even hosted one of the training sessions that are offered to the older cadets. Frost was surprised to learn that Autumn wasn’t going on the trip with him. When he asked why she told him it wasn’t financially possible at the time. But if he remembered correctly, the cadets’ portion was paid for, so only the adults had to pay. And, it still wasn’t much as they got a group discount, maybe two hundred dollars. But he could tell it wasn’t a subject she wanted to discuss, so he let it drop.
Slowly but surely, the more they talked, he was lowering her defenses and making progress on taking their relationship to the next level. He had to admit; he was falling hard for her and the funny part was they hadn’t even shared a kiss yet. But if things progressed the way he hoped, they would, and that would be happening very soon. He couldn’t wait to feel her lush pink lips pressed against his.
“Hey, Frost…Isn’t that Autumn’s son, Cody?” Alex asked, pointing toward the patio. Frost turned around and damned if it wasn’t him. He was leaning against the deck railing, looking out at the water. Frost thought he looked deep in thought but looked as if something was bothering him.
Frost glanced around the restaurant, knowing that if Cody was here, Autumn most likely was too, but he didn’t see her, and that concerned him because if he knew Autumn like he thought he did, she wouldn’t let him come here alone.
He excused himself from the table and made his way outside. As he got closer, he could hear Cody mumbling something about a person named Nathan. Frost wondered if he was referring to Autumn’s friend Nathan from California. If that was indeed who he was referring to, he didn’t sound happy about him. Thanks to his SEAL training, he waited quietly and patiently listening as Cody spoke his thoughts out loud. He felt kind of bad for invading his privacy, but so far, he didn’t like the information he’d heard coming from Cody. Something about someone stopping by or maybe them going to visit.
After another couple of minutes of torturing himself, only hearing bits and pieces, let alone feeling like a giant ass for sneaking up and listening, Frost finally announced himself.
“Hey, Cody!”
When Cody turned around, Frost became worried because Cody definitely looked upset. The poor kid looked to have tears in his eyes. But at the sight of seeing Frost, he perked up.
“Hi, Frost. What are you doing here?” Cody asked him as he glanced around. Almost like he was looking for someone specifically and wondered what was going on. Cody’s expression looked like he was worried or guilty of something.
Frost eyed him. The kid was definitely acting funny, but he wasn’t worried because he knew how to get anyone to talk if he wanted to. But, for now, he would play it cool. He motioned toward the inside. “I’m having dinner with some of the guys and Alex. How about you? Is your mom here with you?”
Frost watched as Cody’s eyes widened, and then his face turned almost green like. Frost was now alarmed, especially when Cody lowered his head and wouldn’t answer him. Frost wondered what the hell was going on because the kid standing in front of him now was not the free-spirited kid he’d been hanging out with the last couple of weeks. This kid was genuinely upset, and Frost had no fucking clue why or what to do.
He took Cody gently by the elbow and pulled him over to one of the tables nearby and sat him down. There were no other people near them.
Christ, where did he start? Give him an enemy to interrogate, and he knew what to do. But a kid? Nope, he had not a fucking clue. He wished Potter and Tenley had not canceled tonight. Tenley would know what to say. But since she wasn’t, he was going to have to wing it.
“What’s got you looking upset, buddy?”
Cody shrugged his shoulders. “It’s nothing.”
“Come on now. I wasn’t born yesterday. It sure didn’t sound like nothing when you were standing over there talking to yourself.”
Cody’s eyes went wide. “You heard everything I said?”
Shit, now he really felt like an ass.
“I didn’t hear everything, but I heard enough to know something or someone is bothering you.” He was hoping the kid would open up and tell him what was on his mind.
Cody sat there for a few seconds, not saying anything. He was just starring off towards the water again. Finally, Cody took a deep breath, then looked back at Frost.
“My mom’s friend from California showed up today.”
Okay, that was nowhere near what he was expecting Cody to say. He kept silent, knowing he wasn’t finished.
“It’s a guy friend.” Well, that got his attention. So, Nathan, who Cody was referring too, must be Autumn’s “guy” friend. Now, he wondered exactly what type of “friend” was he? Several questions were forming in his head. Was there something going on between them? Jesus, if that was the case, he didn’t know if he could ever speak to her again. But he wouldn’t do that. Cody was too important to him already.
“Cody, does this guy friend have a name?”
“Nathan. He was my dad’s best friend. He was with him when my dad was killed. He helped my mom and me after dad died. When Mom and I had to move out of our house, he let us live with him. After a few months, that’s when Mom decided we needed to…what did she call it…start a new chapter. Nathan didn’t seem very happy when Mom told him about her plans. They don’t know, but I overheard them arguing about it the night Mom told him.”
Damn. Frost knew most times, best friends and teammates always took care of a surviving spouse, especially ones with children. They always try to keep in touch with the family just to check up on them and make sure they are surviving okay. A buddy of his back on the West Coast lost his best friend and teammate, and he took care of the spouse. Eventually, they fell in love and married. He wondered if Autumn had started to fall for Nathan and that was why she decided to leave, and was that why she was hesitant about starting a relationship with him? He had a lot of questions he needed to ask her. The first being if these past few weeks of spending time with her and Cody were for nothing. Shit, did Nathan come here to woo her back? Right now, though, he needed to be here for Cody because obviously, he was having a hard time with Nathan here.
“Why would a ‘friend’ visiting your mom upset you? Your mom actually told me a little about Nathan last week. He sounds like a nice guy.” Cody shrugged his shoulders. “Come on now, you can talk to me. I’m fairly good at keeping secrets.” He smiled and winked, and it made Cody laugh.
“I’ll tell you, but you have to promise me you won’t think I’m a loser?”
He gave Cody a stern look, and Cody dropped his eyes. “Cody, look at me.” When Cody raised his eyes, Frost could see the timid boy lying beneath the armor he showed on the outside. “I will never think of you as a loser. You copy?”
Cody swallowed hard and slightly nodded his head. “Yes, sir. I understand.”
“Good, now tell me why Nathan being here upsets you.”
“It brings back memories of my dad. I mean, it’s not like I forget about my dad, but seeing Nathan and him being my dad’s best friend, just makes me think about dad more. I try not to let it bother me, but I can’t help it. I know Mom was surprised and happy to see him, and I want to be happy too, but it’s hard. He’s always telling me stories about my dad, and as much as I want to hear them, a part of me doesn’t.” He looked up at Frost with tears in his eyes. “Does that make me a bad person, Frost?”
Frost felt like his heart was being squeezed. He couldn’t imagine the anguish and p
ain this brilliant young man sitting in front of him was going through. He had never lost a parent, but he’d seen what it can do to kids who do lose one at a young age. Being a military brat growing up, he’d had plenty of friends who lost a parent to war. A lot of those kids got into a lot of trouble because they took their anger out doing stupid shit. Some got help and turned their lives around, where others ended up taking a hard route into adult life and never really fully recovered. But this kid sitting in front of him, the kid who felt foolish because he felt he would be considered a loser because of what he was feeling, was the prime example of a courageous individual. Frost held a lot of respect for the kid.
“No, Cody. What you just told me doesn’t make you a bad person. It just proves that you’re human. I’ve lost friends to war. I know it’s not easy. I can’t imagine what you and your mom went through losing your dad. But take it from me, I know it may be hard to hear someone, especially your dad’s best friend, tell you stories about your dad, but listen to what he has to say. One day, you’re going to be thankful that you did. Especially one day in the far future when you have kids of your own and tell them stories about their grandpa.”
“Frost, would it be okay if I called you when I’m having a bad day and just need to talk?”
Frost smiled and ruffled Cody’s hair. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t. I’ll always be there for you, Cody.”
“Thanks, Frost.”
Now for the important question. “Cody, where’s your mom?”
Cody’s eyes widened. “Oh, no! I told her I was just going to the bathroom. She’s probably worried.”
Frost chuckled. “That’s okay. Come on, let’s go find her.”
Cody stood and looked way up at Frost. “Umm, Frost?”
“Yeah, buddy?”
“Don’t be upset, but Nathan is here with us.”
Okay, again, he wasn’t expecting that. His stomach clenched. Frost hoped this was just a friendly and quick visit for Nathan. He was starting to think he took too long to make his move, but Autumn knew what his intentions were. He made them quite clear over their coffee a couple of weeks ago, and their lunch and dinner this past week, and she was starting to open up more. God, he prayed she wasn’t just playing a game with him. He guided Cody back inside the restaurant. He followed behind as Cody led them to a table on the other side where his mom was sitting.
As they approached the table, the man he assumed was Nathan had his arm around Autumn as they looked at something on his phone. He stopped in front of the table, and he felt sick. They looked cozy sitting together, a little too cozy for just friends.
“Mom, look who I found!” Cody stated as he sat down at the table across from Autumn and Nathan.
She glanced up, and Frost knew the moment it registered with her, who Cody was referring to. Her face turned the same sickly green color that Cody’s had just a few minutes ago. He just raised his eyebrows up in question.
“Frost! What are you doing here?” She asked, then looked back towards Nathan, who still had his arm around her and pulled her even closer to his side, which had Frost biting the inside of his cheek. Frost did a quick mental rundown on the guy. Definitely could tell he was a Marine by the ‘high and tight’ haircut. By the lines on his face, he was older, maybe early forties. However, he looked to be in good physical shape. If he remembered correctly, Autumn’s husband was older.
“Autumn, honey. Are you going to introduce me to your friend?” Frost could see how uncomfortable she was as she sat there, staring between the two of them. Frost wanted so badly to rip the guy’s hands off. He was angry, but he wouldn’t cause a scene, at least not here and not in front of Cody. What he did want to know was exactly how important this guy was to Autumn. And, as if she was reading his mind, Autumn straightened in the chair, causing Nathan’s arm to fall to his side. Okay, that was possibly a good sign. Or was she playing it off?
She pulled her lip between her teeth, and Frost knew she was contemplating how to explain who he was to Nathan. But, before she could get a word out, Cody answered for her.
“This is Frost. He’s a friend of Mom’s. And he’s in the Navy.”
Frost knew Nathan was sizing him up as well. “Ah…a sailor, are ya?”
Frost gave the man a sarcastic smirk. “Yeah, something like that.” Then he looked at Cody and winked, and Cody smiled. He knew Cody wouldn’t tell Nathan he was a SEAL, and, he definitely didn’t plan on getting into a pissing contest with this guy.
“Yea, he and Mom have been hanging out, right Mom? And he took me to see some of the ships on the base in Norfolk and some other things.” The other things being the SEAL base.
Go, Cody! Obviously, the kid was in his corner, although he probably didn’t even realize what was transpiring right now. Frost had to hide his chuckle, watching Autumn’s mouth gape open. But then his smile quickly disappeared when she finally was able to respond.
She turned toward Nathan. “Frost and I are good friends, Nathan.”
Whether or not Autumn had romantic feelings for this guy, Frost knew Nathan and her were important to each other. He could see it in their eyes by the way they looked at each other. But after her comment of Frost just being her friend, he wasn’t going to stick around any longer. He had his ‘real’ friends back inside, waiting for him.
“Well, I better get back over to my friends.” He made sure to put some emphasis on the word ‘friends.’ But what almost made him turn around was the sadness that immediately filled her eyes. No longer were her green eyes bright and cheery looking; no, they were replaced with a dark, dull green color. “Don’t let me interrupt your date.” He turned to Cody. “I’ll see ya around, buddy.”
“Frost,” Autumn called after him. He had only gotten a few steps away from the table. He stopped and closed his eyes. His hands were fisted by his sides. He wanted to turn around and drop to his knees and beg her to give him a chance. But he wouldn’t. He turned one last time to look at her. She was gorgeous. His Irish beauty, but she wasn’t his. She never was. If Nathan was the man she wanted to be with, then he had to let her go, and he himself needed to move on, even if it killed him to do so. All he wanted was to see her happy.
She went to say something, but he just held his hand up and gave her a painful smile. “Autumn, I understand now why you held back and couldn’t take a chance on us. If he is what makes you happy, don’t let me stand in the way. However, I sure as hell wished you would’ve said something before I went and fell for you.”
Those were his final parting words before he turned and walked back to his friends. Shit, he wasn’t even hungry anymore. He stopped by the table, told everyone he was leaving and dropped some cash on the table to cover his drinks and food. Of course, they wanted to know what happened. He just told them that he wasn’t great company right now. Once outside, he hopped into his Tahoe and took off towards a beach just down the road. This area of the beach was desolate and quiet this time of the night. He needed to be alone and process what the hell just happened. He slid his fingers through his hair. Christ, did he just make the biggest mistake of his life and let the woman he loved slip away.
He shook his head. Love? He didn’t know what love felt like. But if it was the pain he was feeling in his chest right now, then yeah, he loved her.
He had some PT clothes in his go bag; maybe a nighttime run would help clear his head. This would be a good test for his leg. He was due to take the PRT next week, and if everything went accordingly, he’d be placed back on active duty.
◆◆◆
Autumn was fuming as she, Nathan, and Cody made their way out of the restaurant. She was pissed at both men, Nathan, for acting like an overly protective brother and Frost for jumping to conclusions and not giving her a moment to talk to him.
She tried going after him when she saw him exit the restaurant, but he was already in his Tahoe and turning out of the parking lot.
“Autumn, will you please stop for a minute?” Nathan asked as he walked behi
nd her to the car.
She turned and glared at him.
“Why in the hell didn’t you say something this morning. It’s obvious you like the guy, and he likes you.”
“I wasn’t ready yet to say anything to anyone. We’ve only been out a few times as friends.”
Nathan gave her a sympathetic look. “Honey, you need to let the past go and move on. Kevin would want you to be happy. If this guy Frost is what makes you happy, then go for it. Don’t hold back.”
She took a deep breath. “But I’m scared to open my heart up and go down that road again.”
“Honey, he’s in the Navy and most likely works aboard a ship. It’s not like he’s in a ground unit like Kevin was.” Oh, God, if Nathan only knew what Frost was really involved in within the Navy. “You need to put yourself first for once. Look, if it makes it any better, I’ll talk to the guy and let him know I’m not interested in you romantically.”
“You would do that for me?”
“Yeah, I would because I care about you and Cody. And I can tell you both really like him. I just want to see you both happy and know you’re being taken care of. Come on.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and walked her the rest of the way to the car.
Chapter Twelve
Autumn arrived late for work. It had been three days since Frost turned his back and walked away from her. Since then, she’d tried reaching out, but each time she’d got his voicemail. She opted not to leave a message. What she had to tell him wasn’t something she wanted to leave in a message.
She walked into the employee lounge and stashed her bags in her locker. She was a little sweaty from walking from the bus stop. Her car wouldn’t start this morning, and she had missed the first bus, so she had to wait for the next one, which made her late. At least she could call and give Nancy a heads up, which Nancy was okay with since her 9:00 am appointment had canceled.
