Oh brother! Now she was putting herself in his ex-wife's shoes. Would she ever learn?
"I think you should take me home, now." she barely muttered.
"Sure, why not."
They drove in silence, all the way to her aunt's house. When he pulled into the gravel drive, she started to open the car door, but he reached over in front of her and held the handle of the door.
"Wait..."
His voice was low, soft and full of emotions.
"I think we've said all we need to say." she started for the door again.
"I'm sorry Savannah. I really am. It's just that I haven't talked about Maria in a long time, to anyone. You brought her up and she's been between us, all night."
"I had no right to pry..." she began not looking at him.
"You have a right to know a little...at least. Maria and I were only married a couple of months, that's true.. It was plain from the beginning that she was miserable. She wanted more than to sit home and wait for me. She was very bright, and she could have gone a long ways. Maybe she finally did. Who knows?"
Savannah relaxed and sank back into the seat again, then glanced at him, "You haven't seen her."
"No, she remarried a few months after the divorce and moved away. After that, marriage didn't look so good to me. Still doesn't. I never lied to you Savannah. I wouldn't do that. But, dammit, there is a chemistry between us. I feel your heat, you feel mine. We want each other in the most basic way. I see no reason why we shouldn't...."
Savannah's eyes rounded on him now, "I do. I don't want any more mistakes. And in case you don't realize it, I don't sleep around when the urge hits me. I have a few standards in my life too, Ben. I want all the things that you keep telling me, you don't. We don't and can't agree on that. So there is no use getting involved with you."
There was a silence.
"You're a virgin aren't you?" he whispered as though someone else might hear.
"Yes." When he didn't say anything she added, "Maybe you should go back to finding you a once a week Saturday night date, Ben. You'd be happier."
"Maybe I should," his voice sounded distant.
"Goodnight, Ben, and goodbye," she said looking at him one last time.
"Yeah, I'll walk you to your door," he insisted.
"That's not necessary," she began, but he was already out of the truck and on her side. He put his arm around her and the same familiar feelings swamped her.
He stood there staring in the moonlight at her, his face a wad of frowns and confusion. "You are quite a lady, Savannah."
"Thank you," she barely managed, her throat was hurting from the strain of holding back tears.
"I've got a question for you now," he said slowly coming closer.
"Okay," she wished he would just go, it would be so much easier than standing here wanting to throw her arms around him and not being able to.
"What was that about in the saloon?"
The question startled her, confused her. How could she explain it. She wasn't sure herself.
"Every girl wants love, Ben. Not that I thought I'd find it there, but I thought maybe I'd do my ego a little good. Chad had betrayed me. That was a little hard to take. It left me feeling inadequate. I've been accused of being too prudish all my life, expecting too much. Too blind to see. All my friends have flirted enormously with many men. I hadn't done much of that before. Not that I was any good at it, but I guess I was trying to assuage my bruised ego a little too."
He nodded slowly, "Savannah," he said her name like a prayer, and he gathered her slowly to him, looking into her face, as though searching for something. "You're more woman than I've ever known before. More beautiful than a spring day. As innocent and sweet as a newborn babe. I'm sorry I've man-handled you. Sorry, I was so rough on you. You deserve better. But at least take this with you, forever..."
And then he kissed her.
Not with the heat of passion, not with the force of desire, but with the gentle and tenderness of a real lover. This was the man she knew was in Ben Hogg. And she was helpless in his arms. He feather kissed her nose, her forehead, her lips, over her eyes, and he didn't touch her anywhere but the sides of her face as he withdrew.
She felt weak, and right then, she knew she had lost the only man she could ever love, and all her dreams were going down the tube. Ben Hogg was leaving her with a kiss of an angel.
"Goodbye, Savannah, and I wish you luck..." and then he was gone.
Chapter Nine
Stunned from the strange evening she had spent with Ben, she hadn't noticed her aunt coming down the stairs as she entered the old farmhouse.
"Well, how did it go?" Aunt Lucy asked as she joined her in the living room.
"I think we've said our goodbyes." Savannah sat her purse on the floor and moved about the room nervously.
Aunt Lucy's forehead wrinkled, "Goodbyes? But why, I thought you were rather fond of him."
"I was, I am. But he let me know early on that he wasn't interested in marriage. And I am. It's the one thing I am sure of, Aunt Lucy. I want what my sisters have, happiness, a family."
"Oh dear, I'm so sorry." She seemed to be preoccupied with her own thinking.” Can’t you at least be friends? You and Ben?"
Savannah glanced hesitantly at her Aunt, "I don't think the way we feel, it would be a good idea. I love him...but..."
"That's too bad dear. Ben is a wonderful man, done a very good job here in Junction. I'd like to see him settle down and have a family," Aunt Lucy was saying. Not wanting to embarrass her, she didn't look straight at her, but picked up her tattering and talked with a soothing voice. "Does he know you're in love with him?"
Savannah's eyes widened, "Oh please…"
"I’m sorry dear, really sorry. But at my age, I can tell. I'd say he's pretty close to the same feelings, too. So, what are you going to do about it?"
Savannah hadn't a clue. She supposed it was over with, before it got started. What could she do? She'd at least been honest with him about her feelings.
"I have no plans," she said quietly, not liking the sick feeling that thought gave her.
"In my day, when I wanted a young man's attention, I'd find me another, and that would get his attention real quick." Lucy chuckled.
Savannah smiled, "Really? My chances of finding another man are not very good. And I've actually tried flirting and all that got me was a night in jail."
"Oh, I don't know. There's my friend’s grandson from Corpus. He's visiting her right now and I'll bet he'd love some young company. His name is Jimmy and he's about six foot tall, brown haired and blue eyed. He's been stuck with her for a week, and he looks bored out of his mind. I could give him a call."
"I really don't think that's wise..." Savannah tried to dissuade her. She was tired of lies and cat and mouse games.
"And why not, dear? It's like falling off a horse, you just get right back on it," Lucy chuckled.
"Even if I went out with someone, how would Ben know?"
Aunt Lucy put her tattering down and took her small glasses from her nose, "Oh word has a way of getting around in these parts. Gossip is about all we have to do, you know."
Savannah laughed. "What's he like? This Jimmy!"
"He's nice enough looking, big church man, and claims he has a girl-friend back home."
"Claims, you don't believe it?"
"Well if he does, why is he wasting his time with his grandmother?" Lucy laid her tattering down.
"I don't think I need a real relationship right now. But it might be nice to go out with a friend."
Lucy chuckled again, "Now that's the spirit."
Two days later Savannah was repainting a rocking chair for her aunt when a tall figured loomed over her. She glanced up and got to her feet.
"Hi, are you painting the chair or yourself? I'm Jimmy Walker, you're aunt said you'd be home today."
"Hello, I'm Savannah. I'm not really a very good painter." She extended her hand and quickly tried to rub the paint off before g
rabbing his hand. It smeared on her shirt. She shrugged and grinned.
"Want some help?"
Savannah handed him the brush and sat on the porch steps as he proceeded to do a bang up job on the rocker, without getting one smudge on his handsome face. How'd he do that?
Watching him paint gave her ample opportunity to size the young man up. He was pleasant looking, with dark hair and eyes, medium build and lean. An average American Pie boy. A little like Chad.
Painting was definitely not her strong point, since the country blue paint was all over her, and very little on the rocker, she was silently grateful that this young man had so eagerly volunteered to finish what she had started.
"All done," he smiled, and joined her on the steps in less than an hour.
"So how long you staying with your aunt?" he asked, not at all shy. She liked his easy way of talking, he seemed very friendly, and yet she noticed something in him that made her wonder.
"I'm not sure yet." She glanced at him. "How about you, I heard you were staying with your grandmother."
"Yeah," he hung his head and nodded. "I'm on vacation. I just lost my mother in a car accident and needed to get away."
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Aunt Lucy didn't tell me."
"Well, she didn't know. No one around here did. My mother was a drunk driver, she hit another car, three people died. It was a little hard to get over. I'm still a little devastated by it, but at least grandmother keeps my mind off things."
"I'm sorry. How awful for you. So, are you enjoying your stay with her?"
"Well, I am now." he smiled. "I haven’t had anyone I could really talk to, except older folks. How about we take in a little dinner tonight and tomorrow we can go to church? How does that sound?"
Savannah warmed to this young man, but a little voice warned her that she should go slow. Yet something told her that Jimmy Walker might turn into a good friend. He was nice, and yet she knew instantly he didn't light any fires. That was good.
Still, he might be a wonderful distraction from someone who did. But she would set the time and place; after all, she didn't know this young man that well.
"How about you come to dinner here, tonight, and we'll see about tomorrow?"
"Sounds good. Well, I guess I am going. My grandmother is having some friends over and she'll need my help getting in and out of her wheelchair. It's nice to have met someone my own age."
Savannah laughed. "Okay, why don't you come over about seven?"
"Sounds great. See ya."
Later, when her aunt came home from her garden club meeting, she quizzed her about meeting Jimmy. "So how did you like him?"
"He seems like a nice guy. I invited him for supper if you don't mind."
Lucy smiled, "That's the spirit."
"Do you know why he's staying with his grandmother?" Savannah asked.
"No, not really. Grace didn't go into much detail the last time I talked with her, but she was certainly happy he was with her." Lucy smiled.
Savannah nodded and proceeded to tell her why Jimmy was visiting Grace.
CHAPTER TEN
Dinner was pleasant with Jimmy taking the lead and carrying on most of the conversation. Savannah was glad her aunt was home though. She even agreed to go to church with him the next day.
Two days later Ben came out to see her.
"I just stopped by to see how you are doing."
"I'm fine, and you?"
"Fine."
"Looks like you've mastered doing dishes," he smiled.
There was a long pause, as she dried the last dish and put it away, then she turned to him as she dried her hands.
"Was there something else?"
"Word around town is your dating Mrs. Walker's grandson, is that right?"
"I invited him for dinner..." Savannah hung the cup towel up.
"And you went with him to church, too."
"Well, yes, I did. Is there anything wrong with that?" She turned to face him.
"No, not at all."
"Good," she tried to keep the smile from her lips. "Aren't you supposed to be working, right now?"
"Yeah, I am, actually. I had to pick up Larson's dog, he bit the mailman again, second time this month. Keeps this up we might have to put him down."
"Oh no, that's terrible. Where did he bite the mailman?" Savannah asked with a chuckle.
"Got him right in the seat of his pants." Ben laughed.
Savannah couldn't stop the smile, "Well, it was nice of you to stop by and check on things. I hope when I go home you'll stop by and check on my aunt, often."
"Go home, you're leaving?" Ben came closer.
"Eventually, yes," she sighed, about to move past him to the living room when he grabbed her and pulled her to him.
"I've missed you, Savannah." And with that his lips feather touched hers, just as her aunt called out to her from the other room.
Savannah moved away. Ben spoke to her aunt for a few minutes and left.
* * *
The following day Jimmy invited her on a picnic, but it rained and she couldn't go. She called him and canceled then joined her aunt in the living room.
"Your mother called earlier," she said.
Savannah's head came up and she looked at her aunt as though she had grown two heads. "My mother!"
"It sounded as though your friend, Janet has spread the word that you are madly in love with some yokel cowboy and she wants to get to the bottom of it."
Savannah groaned, "Oh no...."
"Oh yes, and she'll be here tomorrow."
"She's coming here?" Savannah shrieked.
"Yes dear, they are both coming to pick up the car...and talk to you."
"Oh, Aunt Lucy, I've managed to screw everything up and I don't know how to right it all. If only Chad had confessed, all of this wouldn't be happening."
"Yes, you wouldn't have met and fell in love with Ben, nor dated Jimmy, nor visited me.” Lucy shook her head and grabbed Savannah's arm. "Everything isn't messed up. Why don't you simply tell your mother about Chad?"
"I promised Chad I wouldn't say anything till he did." Savannah sighed flopping into a recliner and leaning back. The only person in the whole world that Savannah had managed to tell the truth was her aunt. Weary from the lies and problems it had created, Savannah was at a loss as to what to do next.
"Well, I'm glad to know you are a woman of your word, but the truth has a way of coming out, sooner or later, my dear. But tell me, is Ben the yokel cowboy your mother spoke of?"
"I'm afraid so." Savannah cried out then glanced at her Aunt who was smiling.
"I thought so. Well, you did Ben a favor, I guess it's turn about fair play, isn't it?"
"Not exactly. Oh, Aunt Lucy....this is such a mess. I mean...I wanted Janet to tell everyone that I was in love with Ben, before I knew I was in love with Ben. But now, it's just so confusing."
Lucy went into the kitchen and came back in a few minutes with some tea. Savannah was near tears and trying to hold back.
"Drink your tea dear. This will all look better in the morning."
But it didn't. The morning brought new problems. Problems that materialized on her Aunt's front porch. Her parents had arrived!
They were all talking as Savannah came down the stairway, "Hello Mom, dad."
A tall, man in his fifties came to stand beside her, Savannah looked up at him and tried to smile. How could she pretend happiness when it was so far from what she felt?
Her father had aged dramatically in the last few years, and telltale signs of his greying hair, and worried lines in his face made Savannah feel guilty for contributing to it. Yet his blue eyes twinkled when he saw her and she immediately felt better.
Her mother on the other hand swept gracefully across the porch, an air of sophistication and determination to her demeanor. A slim woman, in her fifties with golden hair, and very grey-green eyes. "Savannah, I was so happy when Lucy called me to tell me you were here, safe. Whatever possessed you to run from the church s
o? Oh no, don't tell me, Janet said you'd been infatuated with some yokel cowboy out here from that summer vacation you took all alone. Please tell me that it isn't true."
Aunt Lucy followed them and began taking control of the situation that Savannah had no idea how to handle.
"Let's go have some coffee and talk about this at the table..."
"That sounds divine dear, does your maid have any breakfast left over?"
"My maid?" Lucy queried. "I have no maid, Melanie; I only have a house-sitter when I'm not here."
"You are kidding me. Why...how can that be, the house is so big, you can't sit there and tell me you clean it yourself." Melanie Kingsley was asking as Lucy poured all of them a cup of coffee. Her eyes quickly scanned the mantle above the stove, the windows, everything.
"But of course I do. I have nothing else to do all day. I love taking care of Mama's house."
"I don't understand how you can live here, much less try and take care of this place alone. And especially with all the memories of this place," Melanie remarked, casting her daughter a quick glance.
"They are good memories, Melanie. I love this old house, its home to me. I wouldn't live anywhere else. I try to take care of it like Mama would have." Lucy smiled.
"Lucy, you don't look a day older than the last time I saw you," John Kingsley was saying.
"Thank you, John. And you're as charming as ever."
Melanie's attention went straight to her daughter now, as though the pleasantries had been exchanged and it was time to get down to business. "Savannah, I've been trying to understand, to comprehend, as have all of us. So, whatever possessed you to leave the way you did, without a word? You had us so worried. Until we heard from that Sheriff, we didn't know what to think."
Savannah thought long and hard on how she wanted to tell her parents what had happened. But she had promised Chad too. How could she satiate one and not betray the other?
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