by Lauren Wood
I had felt the same way when I first got into it. I liked the chase and the wonder, never knowing if today was going to make me a rich man. It hadn’t done it yet, but I lived comfortably because of it. I wouldn’t have changed anything for the world and I liked that we had that in common. I didn’t have a lot in common with the women here. They wanted to be taken care of and I found something refreshing about Merle. She was here on her own two feet, trying to make it happen. I almost wished her better luck than me. Maybe if she did well, she would think about doing it in the winter too and she could just stay here year round. It was an odd thought for someone I didn’t know, but I was drawn to her and the easy smile on her face warmed me up in more ways than one.
“With that attitude, I am sure you are going to go far here. It takes a lot of time and skill, but it is determination more than anything. I still like the feel of the jar of gold when it has been a good day or week. There is nothing like it and it almost makes me want to go back out on the boats to see it live in action.”
“Can I ask why you don’t go on your own boats that much? Most of the people I know wouldn’t trust people with their gold and expect them to be honest. How do you know that no one is stealing half of it?”
“I’ve worked with these guys for a long time and I just trust them. There is always ways to check on them, but most of the time I just let it go. The do well for me and make good, so why would they take more and jeopardize it all?”
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. You are very trusting. You are unlike anyone I have ever known. I want to thank you for the offer to work with you. I thought I had really messed up coming all the way up here for nothing. At least now I know it was for a reason.”
I just shook my head and took a drink of the whiskey in front of me. I was going to learn to hold everything in a little better. I knew that I was going to have time now. I was going to go back out on the water and I was going to have Merle. It was only a matter of time. While patience wasn’t one of my strong suits, I was going to make it one. It was worth the wait, I was sure of it.
Chapter 8
Merle
The bar was a whole lot livelier than it had been earlier in the day when I was looking for Kevin. That was the time of day that only die hard and lunch diners were there. Now the little bar was packed and I felt myself thankful for the hand that was on my shoulder. I don’t know why I liked it, but I felt a little protection in a time that I felt like I needed it. I had so many eyes on me; it was hard to think of anything. I was glad that Charlie seemed to know that and pushed me to a table that was perfect for us.
The evening was not what I had expected. The man was a hopeless flirt and I found myself playing along more than I probably should have. It was nice to feel wanted and desired, even if the man was going to be my boss. He had to be a better boss than Kevin was going to be and besides, he said he didn’t go on his own boats that much, so I most likely wouldn’t even see him was how I reasoned it. Maybe it was just the need in me that hadn’t been fulfilled in a long time. Whatever it was, there was something about him that I was drawn to and the more I had to drink, the more painfully aware of that information I became. There was no part of me that wanted to let his innuendos go.
There was a point in the night; after we had did a little dance by the table that I thought he was going to kiss me. The music had stopped and I was still slightly swaying in his arms and our eyes met. It was the perfect time for him to kiss me and I had started to close my eyes, sure that he was going to kiss me, but he never did.
I was a little more irate than I wanted to mention and my cheeks burned with embarrassment. I was sure that he had seen me pucker up, so he knew that I had thought it was for me. When I realized that he wasn’t going to kiss me, I made an excuse and got out of the bar. I needed fresh air and a way to cool down from the embarrassment.
Charlie seemed to notice and offered to give me a ride to where I was staying for the night. But the problem was that I still hadn’t figured that out. Kevin offered me a place to stay with him, but after everything that happened and the fact that I wasn’t going to be working for him anymore, it didn’t seem like a good place to go, especially knowing that I am not going to be there very long.
“I’m just going to see what the hotel has to offer.”
“I doubt you are going to find a room there.”
“Why?”
“It’s always full this time of year. That’s why you have people living in tents out here in the snow. They don’t have anywhere else to go. Didn’t you know that this was going to be this way?”
“Well I was supposed to stay with Kevin. He offered to let me use one of his extra rooms.”
Charlie shook his head and nodded with understanding. It was starting to make sense to him finally and I was glad that he finally got it. I didn’t want him thinking that I was one of those women that just flew by the seat of my pants. While it had been a bit of a leap to come to Alaska to look for gold, I had tried to figure out as much stuff as I could before I came. I was supposed to have a job and a place to live secured. I just didn’t really think about how one was hinged on the other. I hadn’t taken into account that he would be a drunk and he would be dangerous.
“I know that we just met, but you can always stay at my house. I have a sofa that you can sleep on for a bit until you figure out what you are going to do. Most people find someone to share with while they are here mining if you aren’t going to stay the whole year. I’m sure that it wouldn’t be hard for you to find someone to stay with, though you are always welcome here. I would never let someone that worked for me live in a yurt on the beach.”
I didn’t know what to say, but I did need a place to go, at least for the night and since I felt more comfortable with him than anyone else, it seemed like the thing to do. It had been a weird first day in Alaska and the more I thought about it as he waited for me to answer, the surer I was that I was going to accept and see where it took me. I wanted badly to realize that he was just trying to be helpful.
“Well let me make sure that I pay you something. I can’t stay here for free and I will make sure that I am out of here as soon as possible.”
He agreed, but I could tell that he didn’t like the idea of something. There was no telling what was going on in his mind and it was only when he stopped and really looked at me that I could really see him.
“You don’t owe me anything for staying. It’s not much anyways.”
He was humble, but pulled in front of a fairly large house on the outskirts of town. It may not have been much in his eyes, but I knew that it was more than I was used to seeing. Something that big so far out must have cost a fortune because everything had to be brought in. It was a sight and one of the biggest houses around.
“You live here?”
Charlie nodded and got out of the car, going to the other side of the car to let me out. “It is where I live. Welcome to my home.”
Chapter 9
Charlie
Merle was shy once we got to my house and I was showing her around. There was plenty of room for her and I had to remind her of that several times because it was no big deal. I wanted her to stay as long as she wanted to, but she was already talking about finding another place to go. She was convinced that I would get tired of her staying there and I couldn’t see that happening.
“If you need anything else, just let me know. I am going to jump in the shower. It’s been a long day. All you have to do is knock on the door at the end of the hall and I will help with whatever I can.”
She thanked me and it looked like she was going to say something else, but she thought against it and I couldn’t stand there any longer looking like a boob. I wanted to know what was on the tip of her tongue, but I couldn’t force her to tell me.
The shower I took was hot and hopefully it was long enough because I had to take care of matters while I was in there. It was one of those times that even after I had gotten the relief that I needed, I still wasn�
�t done. I was still hard and short of doing it for a second time; I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed for the bedroom. The water was going to go cold if I stayed in there long enough and when I heard a gasp from down the hallway, I could see that Merle had caught me. Her eyes were riveted to a part of me that I would have rather kept secret.
“Sorry I thought you were out.”
“I am.”
It was all that I could say and I didn’t know what to say to her when she kept staring. I know that she was embarrassed because she finally jumped a little bit like she was just realizing that she was gawking and she pulled her gaze away from me. Her face was red and it was such a lovely color. I loved how innocent she looked in all of it; even though I knew that she wasn’t very innocent. She couldn’t be. If she didn’t know what she was doing to me, she didn’t need to know. Either way, I was worried about how I was going to deal with her.
“Well don’t let me hold you up.”
“Is there any hot water left?”
I told her that there was, but I wasn’t really sure. I tried to ignore the way she looked at me and the way her eyes still kept flickering down to my lower half. It wasn’t really that hard to figure out where she was looking, but I was too worried about how it all looked. I was rock hard and the more she gave me attention, the harder I got and the more impossible it was to hide. I wanted her and if I would have known that she would have been okay with it, I would have tried to take her right then. But this was all new and I had to hold in the baser needs that she brought out in me.
In my room it was no oasis because I couldn’t get the vision of her out of my head. She hadn’t looked away like she was disgusted or like she didn’t want to see what I had to offer. No, it had been the opposite. She had liked what she had saw and I don’t know why, but that made me want her even more. It was hard for me to deny myself the need I had and again I had to take what was needed because I didn’t think I was going to be able to go on the rest of the night without that need taken care of.
It didn’t help because I was still too aware of the woman that was staying in the house. I hadn’t had a roommate in a while and it was never a beautiful woman like her that I couldn’t do anything with. It was torture and the more I tried to get through it, the more painfully aware I was of her. The sad part was that she was on the other side of the hall, but my hearing made it feel like she was next door and I could hear everything that was coming from there. It was hard to ignore and the fact was that I didn’t want to ignore it.
She got out of the shower and walked slowly passed my door. I even heard her footsteps stop for a minute in front of my door and I waited with my breath held because I was sure she was going to knock and come in. It’s what I wanted her to do, but after a minute she kept on going and I was left wondering what had been on her mind. Did she want what I wanted and all I had to do was go to her room and make it known? If I would have had a definitive answer, I would have done my best to make sure that the offer was extended, but she never came back out of the room and I lost my nerve. I was always going to wonder what if when I thought about that night. It was a night of regret for me. I regretted not taking the chance, no matter how unsure I was of what was going to happen if I did.
Chapter 10
Merle
The night was long and I was up early because I didn’t sleep very well. I was hoping to get up early so that I could make some breakfast for Charlie as a thank you for letting me stay, but he was already up and dressed at the kitchen table when I came downstairs to start the coffee.
The coffee he had started was wafting up to my nose and it made the morning look a little better.
“Good morning Merle. You are up early. I am glad to see you up so early. If you are ready, we can get down to the boat and start making money.”
I wasn’t sure that I had heard him right. He’d made a comment before saying that he didn’t go on the boats anymore, but I could have sworn that it was what he had just said.
“You’re going down to the docks with me? I thought that you didn’t do that?”
“I usually don’t, but I don’t know, hearing your excitement about finding gold revived mine. It’s been a while since I have been excited about it, but I want to be. I want to remember why I started it to begin with. Besides, a couple of my guys have been wanting a day off, so it will be good for everyone.”
I just smiled and nodded as he handed me a cup full of coffee. It meant that me and him were going to be out there by ourselves together and I can’t say that I was too happy about it. I liked being around him. He was a nice guy, easy to talk to and really easy on the eyes, but at the end of the day he was my boss and I already harbored feelings for him that I wasn’t supposed to have. Being alone on a small boat in the ocean with him was not going to make it any easier, I knew that for sure. I was going to find more common ground and I was going to find more reasons to like everything about him. It was rather impossible not to because Charlie was a great guy.
“Oh, well that sounds like fun. When is the last time you were on a boat?”
He shrugged and told me that it had been a while. I didn’t push the question because I had a feeling that he didn’t want me to know how long it had been. It didn’t matter because no matter how long it had been, I was sure he was going to be a better back up then it was with Kevin. I couldn’t see Charlie doing any worse.
So I just went with it. I got dressed with my outer clothes and told him that I was ready whenever he was. I was going to have to prove myself today and I was worried about how it was all going to work out.
We didn’t talk a lot on the way to the shoreline. I was still thinking about Charlie in his towel and the hard lines that I had seen before. It was a hard image to stop thinking about and the more I thought about it, the more I was sure that I was going to not be able to stop myself from being attracted to him. He was a man that was gorgeous and he was so well made that any woman would want him. I was not an exception, even though a man that was my boss was the last person that I should be attracted to.
When we got to the docks, I was a little nervous, but I knew that it would all go away when I hit the water. I was always full of anxiety in the beginning, but the soothing water would strip that away in no time. The fact that Charlie was the one that was going to be there up top and in my ear was just another reason to feel strange about it all.
“You were quiet for the trip. Are you starting to get worried?”
I turned to him and told him that I was fine. I wasn’t going to admit that my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. He would think that it was the dive that worried me or made me this way, but in fact it was him. I still wondered why he didn’t kiss me yesterday. It had been a perfect moment and I can’t believe that he hadn’t. I wanted him to and instead of thinking about the dive and the gold; all I could think about was the man’s full lips and what they would have felt like on mine.
“No, I’m just tired I guess. I didn’t get that much sleep last night, so I guess that it was because of that. You aren’t the well of vibrant conversation this morning either. Figured you were the type that wasn’t too much of a morning person.”
“Yeah, I guess I wasn’t much in a mood to talk this morning. You are going to be down in the water and I am going to be on the boat. I don’t miss the quiet all day.”
I liked the quiet and serenity of being under water. I never thought about how it would be for the one that was topside, but I guess I could see how it would get lonely.
“Well keep me company until I go down there. You have coms don’t you?”
“Of course.”
“Yak to me while I am down there. I don’t have much more to do than suck up the bottom of the ocean anyways.”
He agreed and there was a smile that went across his face and sucker punched me for a moment. The man was bad news and my boss was becoming a liability.
Chapter 11
Charlie
“So why Nome?”
“I’m not going to tell you because you are going to laugh at me.”
I promised her that I wouldn’t, but I had to know how Merle had even gotten here. It just seemed like out of all of the places that she could have went, she came here. It felt like fate to me and her reasoning mattered to me because of that.
“Well I saw a show once about it and it got me thinking that it sounded like a good way to spend my summer. If not I would most likely just be partying on a beach somewhere most of the summer and that never turned into anything good. I figured that I could have an adventure and make a little money for college. After meeting Kevin though, I am starting to worry that it won’t work out. I am glad that I ran into you. I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t.”
It was true that she would have had a little trouble getting someone else to hire her, but I was the one that felt like I lucked out. There was tons of material going through the boxes and that was a good sign. I was already seeing color in there and that meant that we had gold. It meant that the spot we were on was yielding and that was good news. I didn’t have a good coordinate so I was really guessing this morning when I went out.
“I’m glad you watched the show. It is looking good up here. At this rate, we are going to make a little pocket change today.”
“Good, that’s what I like to hear.”
We talked about all kinds of things and the time went by even faster than I
was used to. I didn’t feel alone at all and the boat’s rocking wasn’t even bothering me like it usually did. No, I was more than happy to stay out there all day, but the low gas alarm on the machine told me that it was time to go back to the docks and get some more supplies. We had been out there longer than I thought and she hadn’t come up once.
