by Heather Lyn
“I’m losing her! Page the ER!”
Who are they talking about?
Opening my eyes, I watch the flurry of activity in the room and I struggle to focus, trying to calm my beating heart. Cold hands grip my face, and I wince at the sting of pain.
A loud crash sounds, and as hard as I try, I can’t locate its source. Who was that?
And then as suddenly as the nightmare began, it ends. My vision grows dark, and this time I don’t fight it. I like the quiet. I want to follow it, hoping to drown out the pain I feel searing through my body. I’m vaguely aware of being lifted and then that’s it.
There is nothing.
No noise.
No pain.
I’m weightless, floating through the darkness.
Gone forever.
§
A green field stretches out in front of me. Yellow and blue flowers everywhere, I step forward, the grass beneath my feet soft and warm. Looking back and forth, I’m alone, so I continue walking. As I come to a clearing, there’s a large red blanket spread out, a man sitting on it facing away from me.
“Hello?”
The stranger turns and I smile.
“There’s the prettiest girl in the whole world,” Brody says, brushing off his pants as he stands. Running to him, I leap into his arms and he kisses me, his lips soft and warm.
“I was looking for you everywhere,” I say, laughing when he twirls me around.
“I’m in the same place I always am,” he tells me, resting his hand right over my heart. I grip it and he slides his other hand into my hair.
“What’s on your mind?” I ask. Together we sit on the blanket, legs out in front of us. I rest my head on his shoulder and he kisses my forehead.
“Just missing you is all.”
“I’m right here.”
“I wish we were back at home, warm and cuddled in bed. Me holding you close, whispering how much I love you.”
“So let’s go.” I stand up and grab his hands, trying to pull him up. But he doesn’t move, and he seems distant, like he can’t even see me anymore.
“God, I made so many mistakes. I have no idea how to fix any of this, and I’m not even sure I can.”
“Brody, what are you—”
“You’re a fighter, Linds. And you’ve put up one hell of a fight. But I need you to keep pushing, okay? I can’t let you go. I just got you, Linds. Don’t make me say goodbye. Not yet, baby.” His voice cracks, heavy with sadness.
Kneeling in front of him, I lift his face to mine. He’s crying, loud sobs, his chest heaving with each breath he takes.
A loud crack sounds above us. Jumping up, my head follows the noise. Nothing. Dropping my head to where Brody is, I find only my bare feet. He’s gone.
Whipping my head around, I see him walking away from me, head down. I take off running after him, but no matter how fast my legs pump, I can’t reach him.
“Brody!”
“Come on, Linds. I’m right here, baby. Come back to me.”
“Brody!”
“That’s it. Right here, Linds. I’m right here. Come on, baby. You can do it.”
He stops walking and I sprint, finally closing the distance. But just as I reach him, he disappears and I run past his shadow, a scream tearing from my throat.
“Brody!”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Brody
Sirens wailing, the ambulance pulls up to the emergency department. Moving out of the way, the driver pulls the doors open and they roll the stretcher through, met by a team of doctors and nurses. They whisk her away from me and I’m left alone in the empty bay.
Running inside, I go straight to a desk and ask where I should go. They direct me up to the fourth floor waiting room, and I promptly take off for the elevators. Alone inside of it, I frantically pace, unable to stop moving.
When the bell announces my arrival, I race out of the elevator, going straight for the desk. The older woman behind it looks up as I reach it.
“Excuse me, my girlfriend was just brought in and they told me to come up here.”
“Okay, and what is your girlfriend’s name, sweetie?”
“Lindsey Taylor. She was the victim of a gun… gunshot wound,” I force out, throat swelling with emotion.
The nurse’s eyes widen and I watch them fill with tears.
“Lindsey was shot?” she asks, her hand covering her mouth.
Nodding, I drop my head and rest my hands on my hips.
“Oh good Lord. Okay, let me see.” She types on the keyboard for just a moment. “No information, just says gunshot victim in trauma surgery. If you go down the hallway to the left, there’s a waiting room there.”
Her eyes meet mine over the desk and I mutter a thank you, heading in that direction when she stops me.
“If you’d like, there’s a bathroom just over here where you can clean up. I can get you a pair of clean scrubs to change into as well.”
Looking down, my hands are still covered in her blood, and I can see the copper tinge to my jeans where I was scrubbing my hands in the elevator.
“Please, just… if you have a bag or something that I can put these clothes in?”
“Of course. One moment.” She heads down another hall to the right and returns a moment later, light blue scrubs in her hands. Holding an arm out, she directs me to the bathroom and places them on the counter inside.
Thanking her, I go to shut the door when her warm hand grasps onto my forearm.
“I met Lindsey when she first started here. One of the sweetest girls I’ve ever met. I sure hope she’s going to be okay.”
“Me too,” I whisper, tears burning in my eyes.
“You need anything, you holler. I’m Mary.”
“Brody Walker, ma’am. And thank you.”
With a kind nod, she turns and leaves, shutting the door behind her.
Stepping over to the small sink, I turn the water to the hottest temp. Running my hands under it, I watch the water turn pink, Lindsey’s blood swirling down the drain, and I choke out a sob. Biting my bottom lip, I load up on soap and scrub my hands until they’re clean and raw.
Drying them off on a paper towel, I hurry to get changed, the scrubs warm and soft against my cold body. Stuffing my feet back into my shoes, I find the bag she left behind and toss my dirty clothes into it. Glancing at my reflection in the mirror, I dampen a paper towel and wipe the blood off my mouth, noticing my cheek already swelling.
Fucking piece of shit.
Tossing the paper towel in the garbage, I pull the door open and step into the empty hallway, turning to my left to find the waiting room. When I get there, I find Garret pacing in circles. He stops when he sees me walk in, and in two steps he has me in his arms, hugging me tight.
“Brody, fuck. You okay?”
I shake my head, and he grasps the back of my head, holding me tight. My brother and I have never exactly been this openly affectionate, but for the moment I don’t care. I need his strength and comfort.
He pulls away and grabs my face. “I called Mom, and everyone is on their way here. How is she?”
“I don’t know.”
He leans his forehead onto mine and I close my eyes, the breakdown I’m fighting starting to rise up, my hands shaking. “She can’t die, Garret.”
“She won’t. Your girl’s tough, little brother.”
Sniffing loudly, I pull away from him and hand him the bag of my clothes.
“Figured you might need these.”
“Toss ’em. Ryan’s dead, and as far as I’m concerned, the case isn’t even a priority, Lindsey is, so fuck the clothes.” Garret takes the plastic bag out of my hand and strides to the nearest trash can, tossing it in.
Dropping into a chair, I lean my elbows on my thighs and bury my face in my hands, breathing deeply. Garret sits beside me, his hand on my back. We sit in silence, waiting for an update, for family to get here, anything.
§
We’ve been in this waiting room for w
hat feels like forever. Every sound of footsteps has me whipping my head up, hoping it’s a doctor or nurse. Garret hasn’t moved from my side, and I’ll never be able to repay him. He’s been on the phone a couple times with Jace, but he hasn’t gone anywhere.
The sound of stomping has me looking up to Mom and Dad rushing over to us, Lindsey’s family right behind them. Standing, I get no warning before Mom is in my arms, hugging me harder than she ever has. Gripping the back of her shirt, I hold onto her and bury my face in her neck, fighting to keep my tears at bay.
She rubs her hand up and down my back, gently hushing me, but I can’t stop. Images from tonight are flashing through my mind: Lindsey tied up, Ryan holding the gun to her head, my beautiful, kind, selfless Lindsey taking a fucking bullet for me.
Pulling away, Mom cups my face and pulls me down to kiss my cheek. “She’s gonna be okay, sweetheart.”
“Mom.”
We sit down as everyone trickles into the waiting room, Hollie and Liam at the back.
Blair sits next to me and bursts into tears, her head on my shoulder. “She has to be okay, she just has to.”
Taking her hand, I squeeze tightly, trying to soothe her. We need to be strong for Linds.
Her mom sinks into the chair next to me, her eyes swollen and red.
“Brody, what happened?”
Shaking my head, I pinch the bridge of my nose.
“Donna, I can’t—”
“Please. I need to know what happened.”
Lindsey’s dad sits across from us, and everyone around the room follows his lead. Blowing out a deep breath, I steady myself and begin recounting what happened.
“Ryan had her tied up. Jeffrey was already dead. Ryan did a fucking number on him. Linds was okay. He’d been rough with her but she seemed mostly unharmed. He lured me out there so he could kill me in front of Lindsey, make her pay for whatever fucked-up reason. He was yelling and screaming. I tried to fight him, but he put a gun to her head… I couldn’t—”
Breaking off, I scrub my hands down my face. My eyes sting with unshed tears, but I forge on. “He forced me to my knees, and I knew it was over. He had a gun, and he would either kill me or he was gonna kill her. I couldn’t let her go. Me living without her is not an option, but Lindsey….”
“What?” Donna asks, taking my other hand.
“She got in the way. She took the bullet he intended for me.”
Donna’s cry of pain has me clenching my eyes shut.
“I’m so fucking sorry. I said I’d bring her home safe and I broke that promise. Please forgive me. It should’ve been me.” My voice is hoarse, filled with pain and tears.
“No. Brody, it wasn’t your fault, son. You did nothing wrong,” Luke says, leaning on his elbows to address me.
I shake my head. “I was supposed to protect her. I failed your daughter.”
Donna reaches out to grab my face, forcing my eyes to hers.
“You didn’t fail her, Brody. You love her, that much is obvious. The thing about my daughter, she’s a protector. She does whatever’s necessary to protect those she loves. That’s why she did it, Brody, I know that in my heart. Don’t you understand? She couldn’t be in a world without you. She loves you so much, sweetheart.”
My face falls and I rest my chin on my chest, the tears I’ve fought so hard finally breaking to the surface, my heart splitting in half. Donna pulls me into her arms and we cry together. My tears soak her shirt, but they don’t stop coming. My chest hurts and the sobs rack my body, but I don’t care. They’re nothing compared to the pain in my heart.
§
Hours have gone by. No update. Garret and Liam went down to the cafeteria to get coffee for everybody and I only managed a half a cup. What little caffeine hit my bloodstream has my leg bouncing up and down. Standing from the chair, I begin pacing back and forth, one hand gripping the hair on the back of my head.
My pacing dies when I see a doctor walk through a set of swinging doors. He stops by the nurse’s station and Mary points at us, sending the doctor our way.
Oh fuck. His scrubs have blood on them and he looks exhausted.
“Family of Lindsey Taylor?” he asks, stepping into the room.
“Yes, that’s us,” Donna says, holding her hand out, which he shakes gently.
“How is my daughter?” Donna asks.
“Well, Ms. Taylor suffered a bullet to the abdomen. It nicked an artery, so she lost a lot of blood and needed several transfusions. It was touch and go for a while, and we even lost her for a minute, but we were able to get her heart going again.”
My knees buckle and I start to go down, but Garret grabs me, holding me against him. “Breathe, man. Breathe.”
Tears falling down my cheeks, I turn my attention back to the doctor just in time to hear words I prayed for.
“We were able to repair the damage. Your daughter is a very lucky woman. Half an inch and it would’ve severed the artery. She’d have likely bled to death in minutes, but in a week or so she can go home, live a long life.”
“Fuck yeah,” Garret shouts, grabbing me for a hug.
I hear laughter and crying all around, the relief that Linds is going to be okay the sweetest-sounding words I’ve ever heard. Fisting Garret’s shirt, I allow myself to let go, knowing these tears aren’t from fear or heartbreak.
They’re from honest-to-God relief.
§
Lindsey was settled into a room about an hour ago, and we’re all in the waiting room across from it. Luke and Donna went in about thirty minutes ago, and I’m anxious for my turn. I need to see her, touch her, tell her I’m here.
That I’ll spend the rest of my life making this up to her.
They come out a few minutes later, both looking shaky but relieved. Blair and Grace go in next while her parents come sit with me.
“How is she?” I ask.
Donna gives me a small smile. “She looks like she’s sleeping. The bruises on her face hurt to see, but she looks the same. It’s gonna hurt, Brody. Just be prepared, sweetheart.”
“I just want to see her,” I say, wringing my hands together.
“You will. We’re gonna get some food. Can we bring anything back to you?”
I shake my head, food the last thing on my mind.
Patting my cheek, she stands and together she and Luke head down to the cafeteria, my parents following along. They’ve only been gone a few minutes when Blair and Grace step out of the room, holding on to each other.
I stand and walk over to them. Hugging them both tight, I close my eyes and comfort them. Having something to do has been the only reason I’m still keeping it together. Together they walk back to the waiting room, and I turn to Lindsey’s room.
Fuck. Please let me get through this.
Pulling the door open, I step inside, the door clicking shut behind me. The room is dark, only one of the shades open, moonlight shining inside. The quiet beeping of the monitor next to the bed reminds me that she’s alive. Wiping a tear, I cross the room to the bed, legs barely holding me up.
Blonde hair falls over one shoulder, a dark bruise covering her cheek, a small gash stitched on top of it. Her wrists are red and sore-looking. Sinking into the chair next to her bed, I gently pick her hand up between both of mine and press my lips to the bruise, tears splashing her skin. Sniffing, I lightly trace her jaw with one hand, her skin warm beneath mine.
“Oh, baby. How the hell did we get here?”
Leaning forward, I rest my head on the bed next to her hip, my tears soaking the fabric beneath me. Dripping from the bridge of my nose, they dampen the blanket and I lift my head. As careful as I can manage, I kiss her forehead, lips lingering.
“I’m so sorry, Linds. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Sitting in silence, my tears come to a stop, and I wipe my face.
“It’s funny, this entire day has been the worst. And I keep finding myself wishing I could turn to you for support, for comfort. And then I remember I can’t, that
I need to be strong for you. And I’m going to. Nobody will ever hurt you again.”
Resting my elbows on the bed, I hold her hand and kiss the back of it, my thumbs softly stroking where I just kissed.
“You’re so fucking brave, Linds, you know that? What were you thinking, taking that bullet for me? Actually, maybe I do know. And I would’ve done the same thing if the roles had been reversed, but you can’t do that again. Losing you would be the end of me. I can’t be myself without you. I can’t survive in this world unless you’re by my side.”
Looking at her beautiful face, I wish she would just wake up. Hold me and tell me everything will be okay. That she loves me.
“And that’s where I intend for you to be for the rest of forever. By my side, as my wife and mother to my children. It’s funny, my whole life I wanted to have a son. Play baseball, go fishing, eat pizza, drive dirt bikes. But I don’t want that anymore. Well, that would be incredible, but what I really want is a little girl, with your long blonde hair and blue eyes. I’ll play the hell out of tea party, and I’ll make sure she knows that nobody loves her more than her daddy.”
Sniffling, my emotions rise to the surface again, the idea that we came so close to losing that. To losing literally everything, and all in the blink of an eye.
“I love you so much, Linds. You have no idea. Nothing in my life meant anything to me until you came along. With your fierce attitude, that loud laugh, and your smile. You changed me, Linds. You made me see what life can really be like.”
Chuckling, I wipe at my tears, leaning back in my chair.
“Look at me. I’m a fucking mess, Linds. I need you to wake up and tell me it’s okay. I need you to tell me I’m a fool, and then I can say I’m just missing you is all.”
Moving the chair down, I scoot it in so I can rest my head on the top of her leg. Careful to not move her or do anything to her wound, I close my eyes, imagining her fingers running through my hair like she always does.
“I wish we were back at home, warm and cuddled in bed. Me holding you close, whispering how much I love you. God, I’ve made so many mistakes. I have no idea how to fix any of this, and I’m not even sure I can.”
