His eyes narrow and his mouth tightens into a harsh slash. He kisses defiantly along the line I tried to move him away from. “I’ll wipe him away. Wipe away any trace of any male.”
“Why?” I ask. “Why are you acting like this?” I try to take deep breaths but my legs are trembling against the onslaught of his passion, his pleasure. “Are you trying to seduce me? Were you just upset that he could have been Alpha first?”
Rafe gives me a frustrated glare and shoves his hand through his hair. “I don’t know how to be any more clear about this, Aspen. I want you as my mate.”
My mouth drops. “You said you didn’t…”
“I said I wouldn’t obligate you or force you, not that I didn’t want you. I said I wouldn’t mate you just to be Alpha.” He flicks his eyes over me. “I want you.”
“Why me?” I ask, sure that my vulnerability is shining in my eyes.
“I need you as my alpha female.”
Damnit. I was almost there, ready to fall into his arms for happily ever after, and then he said the words I hate most. Alpha female. The only reason he wants me.
“Well, I don’t want you,” I lie.
He takes a step away from me. “Is it someone else then?” he voice is deadly. “It can’t be Hawthorne…”
“Why? Weren’t you just recommending him?”
He paces. “I thought I could be unselfish. That’s before I saw how my wolf reacted when he was with you. And I saw how you were with him. No, it can’t be him. It’s me.”
“And you know this how?”
He smiles coolly. “You weren’t screaming for help when I had my hands on you just now.”
“I…I was taken off guard.”
“You liked it,” he says, taking a step forward and trapping me against the door again. “I could feel it. Feel you, connecting with me.”
He’s right, a part of me is aching even now for him to start pleasing me again. I want to know the depth of the pleasure he can offer, and I can see his expression change as he realizes what I’m feeling. Damn wolf instincts.
“Go away,” I mumble, knowing that if we start again, we may not stop this time.
“It is me, isn’t it?” he asks, triumph infusing his tone.
I shove him away, stubborn tears threatening my eyes. The last thing I need is him being aware of how I’ve always felt about him. “Get away from me.”
Shock fills his face and he steps back, out of my way, no longer looking triumphant at all, but alarmed and concerned. “Aspen, what—”
“Get out of my way. I’m going back to my room.”
He paces once, twice, frustrated and not knowing what to do. Right now he’s not the patient, in control pack leader, but a petulant, frustrated male unsure how to fix things. He glances at me once more, waiting for me to change my mind.
“Get out of my fucking way!” I yell, throwing a shoe at him. He does, and I go out, slamming the door behind me. I stomp to my room and go in and slam that door as well. I slump down on the bed and hit my pillow.
What a fucked up night. And the most frustrating thing is, it was almost perfect.
Chapter 7
Last night I dreamed about Rafe claiming me. He was hot and dominant, creating warmth all around us even though we were out in the rain, under the stars. I woke up flushed, overheated, and not sure if I was relieved that it was a dream or not.
Maybe it’s my subconscious telling me I really am ready to take a mate?
But he had to go ruin everything last night by guessing how I feel about him when he doesn’t feel the same way. It’s the worst kind of humiliation. Like he’s holding the whole deck and all I have is the joker.
My window is slightly open. The drapes sway with the cool morning breeze and the sun tries weakly to break through the remaining clouds from last night’s storm. I can make out its white outline vaguely. The whole world outside seems to still be a bit gray and wet.
A knock sounds at the door. I sniff the air. Rafe’s scent. Damnit. Just his scent makes me weak in the knees.
I run my hands through my hair, pulling it out of the bun I slept in and running my hands over my scalp to release any leftover tension. I need a moment to think, to be fully awake, before I see him. Images are flooding my mind like slides flashing on a projector.
Rafe seeing me with Hawthorne. Rafe transforming into a wolf. Rafe carrying me down the hall. Rafe kissing me and pressing me against the door. Rafe telling me he wants me for a mate.
And that kiss. Oh man, that kiss…
I run my fingers lightly across my lips, trying to bring back the feel of it. I finally kissed him, after all those times dreaming of it, and I need to remember it. The heat, the intensity. Maybe I really do need to take a mate. The wolf inside me agrees.
But I’m still not sure it should be him.
Maybe it was a good time to come back after all.
Another knock. “Aspen? Can I come in? I really need to talk to you.”
“What for?” I call out to him. I wrap my hands around my knees, which are still under the covers.
“I…I want to apologize.”
“For?” I ask stubbornly.
“Will you just let me in?”
“Fine, come in,” I say, because he’s at the end of his patience and I might as well let him say what he needs to say. But my heart is guarded.
The door slowly opens. When his tall, muscled frame fills the door frame, my heart forgets how to beat again. His dark hair is clean and damp from a shower, framing his face in soft locks. His eyes are a calm, soothing blue, and he’s biting his lip in an adorable way that flashes the tip of one pointed canine as I hesitates at the door.
I pull my covers up around me, as if they can protect me from him. Not that anything could stop him if he wanted me. Not that I even want to stop him.
We eye each other hesitantly. He’s wearing a navy pullover sweater with a half zipper in the front and a soft standing collar that frames his powerful neck perfectly.
He exhales slowly and meets my eyes with his. “I came to say sorry.”
I nod at him warily.
“For…what we did.” He shakes his head. “No, what I did. I’m sorry, I let my wolf take over.”
I shrug. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not. You should feel safe here. I was carried away.”
I pat the edge of my bed and he comes and sits on it. “It’s really alright.”
He folds his arms, making large, powerful biceps more evident. “So, why were you in Hawthorne’s room, then? You thinking about taking a mate after all?”
I put my arms over my knees and rest my chin on my knees. “I guess I should. I’m twenty-two after all. I’ll be done with my degree soon.”
“You know, just because you pick a mate, that doesn’t mean life ends, or that you need to breed.”
I shrug. “To some wolves it does.”
“Then pick carefully.”
I look over at him at that, and his sincere blue gaze nearly does me in. How do I just tell him that I would want him, if only I knew that he wanted me for who I am? Maybe I would want him anyway. I sigh.
“Penny for your thoughts?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” I say. “As for last night, I wasn’t thinking about a mate. I was just going because of the storm.”
Triumph flickers in his eyes, and then understanding, and then a little guilt. “Oh right, there was an intense storm, wasn’t there? You can come to me next time.”
I give him a stern look. “Oh, really?”
He laughs. “I’ll control myself, I promise. Though, if you’re seriously looking for a mate, can I submit myself for consideration?”
“I’m still not sure,” I say, trying to stay cool. I stand up and stretch and notice his eyes on my chest. I send him a glare and he looks away.
“Well, I guess I’ll get started on breakfast then…” He strides to the door on those long legs of his.
“Rafe, wait…” I lean over my arms agai
n, trying to hide the blush that is rising in anticipation of my next words. “I forgot to thank you.”
“For what?”
“For coming. Last night. When I called you.”
“Oh,” he says, looking mildly surprised. “Of course. I’d never let a pack member down.”
“Oh,” I say, mildly disappointed. “I get it.”
“And if you decide you’re not ready to take a mate, I won’t let anyone press you if you don’t want it. So if any wolf gets out of line, let me know.”
“What if you’re the wolf that gets out of line?” I ask playfully.
His expression darkens slightly. “Then let me know. Was I?”
“No,” I say. “Last night was hot.”
One eyebrow raises and the corner of his mouth quirks. “Maybe we’ll have to do it again.”
I shake my head. “No. No more dark corners and up against the wall. If you want me Rafe, you’re going to have to woo me.”
“Woo you? Like a human?”
“We do have some human in us,” I say.
“Some more than others,” he retorts. It’s true, we’ve had to mate somewhat with humans along the way, especially with less female wolves. But some of the offspring with too much human in them don’t have the capacity to shift.”
“Well, I want to be wooed.”
He sighs. “Then I’ll look into this wooing thing,” he says flatly.
“And you can pass that tip on to anyone else who asks,” I say.
His eyes flash and I see the tip of a fang. “Maybe I won’t,” he says. “But there’s one more thing, before I go down to fix breakfast, which I’m expecting you to eat…”
I roll my eyes at him.
“Do whatever you want here, but don’t leave the house without me or one of the guys with you.”
“Don’t get controlling, Rafe. I’ll leave if I need to.”
“Fang’s out there. He probably tracked you here and is biding his time. I’ve sent word but…it’s not safe out there. Yet.”
“Then trust me to know that and be smart about it. I’m a grown woman.”
“You’re barely adult.”
“I’m four years past adult.”
“Not maturity wise…”
“Hey…” I say.
“Fine, I’ll trust you. I’m just telling you I think it’s unwise and I’m hoping you’ll take that into consideration.”
I turn away from his gaze. “Fine. But only because I agree with you that it’s unsafe with Fang out there. At least as long as he feels entitled to me.”
“It would be hard not to, after living with you.”
I give him a side glance. “What does that mean?”
He shrugs. “Just that, once one has spent a lot of time with you, it’s quite hard to lose you.”
I look into his eyes and see echoes of the pain I must have caused when I left.
“Well, I better change for the day,” I say, waiting for him to leave.
“Oh, right.” He gets the hint and disappears out the door, shutting it behind him.
I just sit there for a moment, staring at the empty hallway. Then I reach for my phone to text Megan. After all of the raging testosterone, I’m in the mood for some girl time.
“You up?”
It beeps when she responds. “Yup, what’s up?”
“Want to hang out today?”
“Sure. :) When?”
“As soon as you can.”
“Okay, be over in a little bit,” she texts back.
I grin and jump in the shower down the hall from my room.
* * *
Megan’s light, fruity scent is wafting toward me before the doorbell even rings. When I open the door, she’s standing with an expensive tote over her shoulder and a wide grin on her slender face.
She’s tall and willowy, with short, light blonde hair streaked with blue and pink, and a penchant for black clothing and designer accessories. She throws her arms around me and follows me in, expressing regret that she couldn’t stay long the other day.
“I had to get some errands done. But man, this place is amazing!” she says, walking into the entry way and putting her sunglasses atop her head.
She jingles her keys at me. “Want to go out?”
I’m about to say yes, but then I become aware of an intense stare from the kitchen, and turn to see Rafe walking towards us with two large plates of eggs and bacon. He hands one to me and one to Megan, ignoring her gape and her long up and down stare at his body, and goes back to cooking quietly.
Megan and I both take a minute to check out his butt. It’s tight and muscular and just begs to be grabbed. We slump to the couch together and she lets out a sigh. “Dayum.”
“I know,” I say. “That’s Rafe for you.”
She finally directs her gaze down to her plate and lets out a squeak of shock at the size of the portion. “Um, were these for the guys?”
I grin apologetically and look over at Rafe, happily adding more eggs to the pan. “He’s sort of an incorrigible nurturer…” I say.
She narrows her eyes at him. “Is he one of those crazy guys that likes to fatten up women?”
I laugh. “No. Not one that didn’t want to be fattened. I think he just wants to take care of people, make sure they have enough.”
She eyes our plates and I laugh again, stabbing some eggs and putting them into my mouth. Fluffy, delicious goodness.
“You know, it’s been pointed out to me before that you don’t have to eat them all,” I tell her.
She mutters something and picks up her fork. She majored in English and we had a few classes together, mainly lit, but she ended up with a job at a fashion magazine, and her slender body matches the aesthetic there.
“You could put on a few pounds,” I say encouragingly.
“Ha! All of you are crazy.”
You have no idea, I think. But she starts eating the eggs. She groans and then points a fork at me.
“Yes?” I ask, waiting for her mouth to not be full anymore.
“You know, I wouldn’t mind gaining weight if I could look like you,” she says. “With like triple Ds and hips that kill.” She shakes her head.
“I think you’re beautiful now and you’d look beautiful no matter what,” I say, eating more eggs and starting on the bacon. I wonder if alpha males think that their females will be less fragile if they’re well fed. Not that I mind. I like Rafe’s food.
We finish what we can and endure Rafe’s glares when he sees the leftovers, and then giggle and head outside to talk.
“Stay close,” he says.
“I will,” I reply, and Megan gives me an odd look. I just open the door and motion for her to follow me. I can explain better outside.
Once we’re out on the grass, Megan pins me with a pointed look.
“Hm?” I ask innocently.
“You cant fool me,” she says. “What’s going on there? I thought these guys were your family, or something.”
“Friends of family,” I say, knowing it’s mostly a lie. But there’s no way to explain that I may be dating one of them if I tell her they’re my adopted family. She wouldn’t understand how we work. No matter how hot the guys are.
“So, what’s going on there?” she asks, wiggling her eyebrows at me mischievously.
“You mean, with Rafe?”
“No, with Happy the Clown. Of course with Rafe.”
“Who’s Happy the Clown?” I ask.
She waves a hand. “I just pulled that out of my butt. Seriously, what’s up between you and hot ass in there?”
“Um…”
“Does it have anything to do with why you decided to stop traveling and studying abroad and came back here? You lived with them before, right? Maybe you came back to solve some unfinished business?”
“Maybe I’m ready to settle down,” I admit.
Her eyes widen as she looks me over. “Stop it, you’re a baby.”
I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t feel like one
. I guess I’m finally feeling like it wouldn’t be so bad to have someone to just stay home with. Maybe my wild days are over.”
“Your wild days were about as wild as a petunia.”
I shrug again, my only response to her odd analogies.
“Well,” she says reluctantly. “I guess I can see the appeal. I mean, if you’re going to settle down, it might as well be with prime man meat. Did the family set you guys up? Are they cool with you living with them?”
“You know I don’t have parents,” I say.
“Oh, right,” she says. “But, living with them, is that okay then?”
“They’re my friends, why wouldn’t it be?”
“How many are there? That house is huge.”
“Just three,” I say, picking at the grass.
Her eyes narrow again. They’re a dark blue color that’s striking and pretty. “Just three? Sheesh.”
“I trust them.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t. Men are wolves,” she says. “Even ones that cook fucking great eggs.”
I laugh. “I know.” I can feel a blush spread over my face as I think about last night, both the experience with Hawthorne and the one with Rafe. Hot.
“Something happened, didn’t it?” she asks suspiciously. “You are going to tell me what happened, and you are going to tell me right now.”
I grin over at her. “It’s just, I might have more than one option, at least where men are concerned.”
“Not fair,” she says. “Most of us are just trying to find a guy with a job and no mommy issues, and miss innocent world traveler has three guys fighting over her. Are they all as hot as that one?”
“As Rafe? Probably not,” I say, hoping I’m not giving too much away. “I mean, they’re all gorgeous, but he has a certain kind of…”
“Animal magnetism,” she says.
“Yes,” I say.
“Yeah, I can see that. So what’s going on with you then? How’s the internship?” I eye her purse. “Looks like some good perks, maybe?”
She grins and runs a hand along it. “Yeah. You could say that. It’s okay. Sometimes I think my parents are disappointed. They thought I’d be writing the next great american novel. But I like fashion.”
“I think every parent hopes their kid is going to write the next great american novel. I’m not even sure there is such a thing anymore.”
Ultimate Alpha Boxed Set: A BBW and Wolf Shifter collection Page 5
