His eyes open again, a wary vulnerability there now that he has shared so much.
I reach for him, and he flinches, but he leans forward and lets me stroke his hair. I feel like I’m soothing a wounded animal. I pull him forward, wrap my hands around his back and pull him onto me. I can feel the confusion and pain as I draw him down to my chest.
His body is heavy and huge over mine, but his pain is real and I can take it. I run a hand through his hair, trying to show him love. Trying to show him he’s not alone, the way I wish someone had for me when my parents died.
It’s clear he has been alone for too now.
He collapses into sobs against me, silent but heaving, and I hold him and fight back tears of my own. This isn’t about me. This is about a confused fifteen-year-old boy trying to make sense of losing everything.
And I don’t even know everything about mates in his world, so I don’t know just how devastating it was. He seems so sure that he can’t be with someone else that I almost believe him. But I can’t. He’s so vibrant, so wonderful, so stalwart. Heroic, almost, even beneath all that pain.
I can’t give up on him. Not when fate itself seems to have brought us together.
“Lindon,” I say quietly, resting my hand in his hair.
“Shut up,” he says in a low voice. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Hear what?” I ask, humor in my voice.
“That I’m a baby. Rafe and Hawes would never let me hear the end of it. Crying on a female.” He sits up, swiping at the tears, but I pull him forward again.
He pushes away and stands up. “Damnit, Misty, you’re just making this harder.”
“You have too much pain bottled up in there, Lindon, you need to let it out.”
He throws up his hands. “With you? How inappropriate is that? All I’ve done is hurt you.”
I wink at him. “And made me feel amazing.”
“I’m going to break your heart, Misty. I know you’re thinking you’ll fix me, and I’ll change my mind, and we’ll live happily ever after. But things don’t work like that.”
“Why can’t they? This whole thing has been like a fairytale, why can’t you be the prince?” I ask, knowing it’s stupid.
“Because there’s a murderer on the loose, and this is no fairytale. You need to find a mate, the race needs you to do that. And I need to protect you from the bad males and stop spreading pheromones on you that deter potential mates.”
“They aren’t um…that deterred,” I say with a nervous smile.
He frowns at that and then shakes his head. “That’s a good thing, damnit, as long as they don’t get out of hand. So why do I hate it?” He shakes his head again, more violently this time. “Look, Misty. You confuse me. That’s for damn sure. But from here on out I’m going to save us more pain by being distant.”
“Don’t do that, Lindon.” I stand and sit on the edge of the bed, feeling dejected that after everything I thought we’d accomplished, he’s back to wanting to disappear on me. “You’re the only one I trust.”
His eyes widen in disbelief. “You trust me? After all the lies I’ve told?”
“You told me they were lies. Thus they ceased to be lies.”
“Maybe you just want me because I’m safe,” he says, jabbing a finger at me. “Maybe you don’t actually want to commit to someone and so you’re just latching onto someone who doesn’t want to commit.”
I shrug. “It’s possible.”
“You’re impossible,” he says. Apparently he was expecting me to be offended at the accusation that I avoid commitment. He’s not wrong though. It’s quite likely I do. At the same time, it has nothing to do with me wanting to flatten my body against him.
I’m attracted and I just don’t believe he’s doomed to be as alone as he thinks he is.
“You aren’t going to fix me, Misty. I know that face. You aren’t going to fix me and get the happy ending.” His chest is still heaving mildly from making out, and I fold my arms and cross to the door to open it for him.
“We’ll see,” I say, gesturing for him to leave.
He narrows his eyes at me. “Don’t play games with me, Misty. You won’t like it.”
I shrug and close the door behind him, then walk over to slump facedown on the bed. I let out a sigh, aware my body is still whining about the loss of Lindon’s touch, his presence.
But between the kissing, the talking, and his insistence that I can’t win this and I won’t like playing, I can’t help smiling warily.
Getting closer to Lindon is going to be damn hard.
But at least that means it’s not too good to be true.
Chapter 9
“Thanks for being patient with my idiot brother,” Hawes says, putting an arm around my shoulder as we walk outside.
“Shouldn’t you be getting back to your mate soon?” I reply, grateful he’s stayed this long, but worried that I’m putting him out.
“I’ll head back tonight. First I had to organize the ultimate pile up of man flesh for you. You deserve it for all the shenanigans you’ve put up with.”
“Man flesh pile?” I ask curiously, as he leads me around the back side of the house. All he said when he came to my room after breakfast was to get in something athletic and meet him downstairs for an activity with the guys.
It’ll suck to have him gone, but Lindon does seem to be recovered enough to run things again soon. Now that he doesn’t have to deal with the weight of keeping a huge secret from me on top of protecting me from the guys, he seems to be doing better.
He was quiet and mulish at breakfast, glaring at me once in a while in a resentful way. I don’t know if it was because he’s embarrassed for being emotional in front of me last night or because he knows that I know his weakness now and have no intention of leaving him alone.
Either way, he eyed me like a cat eyes a hawk trying to steal its dead mouse.
I just smiled pleasantly back at him until he blushed and stood up abruptly to leave the table.
For better or worse, Lindon doesn’t seem to be able to hide behind his shell of cool distance anymore.
In my opinion, it’s for better.
“What happened between you guys this morning?” Hawes asks, as we walk across the lawn to a large field behind the house. It’s marked off like a football field, and the guys are standing around in athletic gear, flag belts around their waists.
“What’s this?” I ask, forgetting his question about Lindon entirely.
“Flag football. Thought it might be fun to just sit in the sun and enjoy watching the men get some of their aggression out.”
“But with flags?” I ask. “How will that get their aggression out?”
As if on cue, Thor rips his belt off and chucks it onto the ground, hard. “I’m not playing flag. Tackle or nothing, who’s with me?”
A couple shrugs, some cheers of assent, and only Matt looks a little wary of the whole thing. Given just how much smaller he is than the other guys, I can’t blame him.
He looks mildly terrified.
Thor looks extremely happy.
“Shorty is on my team,” he says, grabbing the smaller man around the shoulders. I laugh as Matt scowls and pushes away.
“Not on your life,” he grumbles.
Thor grins in my direction and pulls his shirt over his head to reveal smooth, gleaming muscle. I almost have to hold my hand up to cover the glare from his abs.
“Ready to see how Sylvester plays sports?” Thor asks, giving me a cocky grin.
Fifi rolls his eyes. He has his hair in a ponytail with a headband in front of it, and is wearing normal basketball shorts and a tee shirt. Miracle of miracles.
My eyes go to Lindon, who is standing with Bradley and Lock in a small circle of hot, tall, ripped men. I sigh inwardly and Hawes laughs.
“You know, until I met Rose, I would have thought this was the most awesome thing, if the situations were reversed. You know, me picking from a bunch of hot chicks,” Hawes says.
“Bu
t?”
He nods. “But since her, I’m just glad I never had to do this. One is enough. One is perfect, when it’s the right one.”
I eye him suspiciously. “Why are you telling me this?”
He shrugs innocently and leans back on his hands on the grass. “Well, no reason. Just a thought.”
If that wasn’t a push toward picking Lindon, I don’t know what else is. Even Rowan seemed to think we’d be a good pair, putting us together here. I don’t believe it was solely to protect me. He could have hired someone for that with all of his money. No, I think the people around Lindon see what I can’t.
That maybe I’m perfect for him. Sure, I frustrate him and make him break out of his perfect little shell, and make him angry and out of control at times. But that’s what makes me perfect.
But, eyeing the men on the field as half of them take off shirts so they can play shirts and skins, I realize I don’t have to be that heartbroken if Lindon doesn’t want me. My inner wolf seems to be saying that as long as we get a mate, she’ll be okay.
So maybe we aren’t fated after all.
“Hawes, what are fated mates?” I ask.
He takes a deep breath and looks over at me. “Why do you ask?”
“Did Lindon have one?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I kind of felt like me and Rose were fated mates. But then again, once you’re in love with someone and want to mate them, I guess you’re fated to be mates in a way. I guess it depends if you believe in soul mates. There’s some old werewolf lore about mates meant from birth for each other. But I’m not sure if it’s just something the elders passed down as excuses for arranged matings.”
“Ah.”
“But it’s been sort of romanticized to mean someone you want to be with, when you can only be with that one person and no one else. Some people say my dad was that way with his first mate, River. No one who came after could replace her.”
“What happened to her?” I ask.
“You’d have to ask Rowan. I was little and people don’t talk about it. Anyway, that’s what I know about fated mates. Maybe Rowan would know more. You could call him.”
I shake my head vigorously. Calling the intimidating man is the last thing on my mind.
“Anyway, I’m not sure it matters. I think our choices matter more than our fate, but that’s just me,” he says. “I like to think that we choose our fate with our choices, and success in a mating comes more from deciding that no matter what, you are going to stay by a partner, rather than some hooey magical beans idea.”
“Magical beans?” I ask.
He grins. “Sorry, I don’t know a lot of fairytales.” He stands. “Do you mind if I play?”
“No, be my guest,” I say, as he strips off his shirt to go join Lindon’s team. I avert my eyes so that I don’t ogle him, aware that somewhere there’s a woman who loves him and is letting him be here helping me instead of staying at her side. I’ll send him home to her soon.
I watch his wide back walk away, and then he turns and gives me a mischievous grin over his shoulder.
“And Misty?”
“Yes?” I ask.
“Sometimes the real thing is better than the fairytale.” He winks at me and then turns to jog onto the field. He goes up to slap Lindon on the back and stand next to him as they talk plays, and Lindon gives me a mildly irritated glare but tolerates his presence.
I get the feeling Hawes set this up as much for his own need to have some guy time as it was for me to see man flesh.
Speaking of which, oh gosh, Lindon is so hot shirtless. He’s wearing low riding basketball shorts in a silver color that looks great with his naturally light tan skin, and his long, lean calves are perfection, tapering to gorgeous ankles and…huge feet…in expensive tennis shoes.
He looks up and catches me watching him and purses his lips in irritation. Almost like he’s issuing me a challenge. He raises to his full height and listens when Lock says something to him, but keeps his eyes on mine.
I can feel heat build within me. He’s watching me and he’s not even trying to hide it. My body is growing more aware of him by the second.
I take a deep breath and let it out when he finally breaks the eye contact. Is he mad at me? Wanting to kiss me? Embarrassed about this morning? I’d give anything to get inside his head and see those thoughts.
The game is starting soon and the teams line up. The rules are going to be a little more casual, given how few players we have. My guess is it’ll just be throw and run for the touchdown and try to tackle each other in between.
Damn, I wouldn’t mind seeing a few of them tackled by one another. Nothing wrong with some hot man on man action.
The teams are Thor, Lock, Bradley, Hawes and Lindon, verses Asher, Jack, Matt, Fifi, Tim and Tom. I’m guessing they don’t mind having an extra person on one team when that person is Matt.
Even Fifi is really tall and athletic, and I’m sure he’ll keep up fine. But I do sort of hope no one squashes Matt. Fifi puts a hand in his hair and ruffles it and Matt reacts like an angry cat, batting his hand away.
Ever since he saved me, I’ve had a stronger bond with the smaller, prettier man.
Thor is strutting with the ball under one arm, and he and Hawes seem the most enthusiastic about the game. Lindon is focused, and I love the look of his perfect, angelic features when they’re tightened in thought.
That nose could cut glass.
The game starts with Thor stepping back as Matt tries to charge him before he can throw to Hawes. But he completes the pass and laughs at Matt’s attempts to stop him before running down the field to catch a pass from Hawes. Lindon and the others run toward the end zone, but Fifi comes out of nowhere, a purple bolt tackling Thor at the knees and taking him rolling to the ground.
I blink in shock. When they stop rolling Fifi is perched happily on Thor’s back.
“Down!” Hawes calls, trying not to laugh.
“Get off of me!” Thor says.
“I don’t know,” Fifi says, seemingly enjoying his perch. “Ask me nicely.”
Thor tries to roll out from under him and Fifi laughs and rolls him over and pins his hands.
I catch my breath at the beautiful, pale, tall man pinning the muscular, tanned Thor beneath him. Fifi looks over at me, eyes sparkling.
“Get off,” Thor grates out, shoving at him. Fifi laughs and steps off, before Thor can take a swing at him, and Lindon quickly comes between the two men, catching Thor’s hand.
“He’s just trying to get a rise out of you,” Lindon says, looking like he’s trying not to laugh all the same.
Fifi wiggles his fingers at Thor and strides off down the field.
“Nice tackle, Fifi!” I yell, and the tall man turns in shock at the sound of my voice.
I could swear that’s a blush spreading on his cheekbones, but he flips away from me so that I can’t see him.
“Whatever,” I hear him murmur, though he looks a little pleased at the praise.
Thor glares at me and I smile and blow him a kiss. He freezes, and then puts a hand to his cheek as if he’s expecting it already landed. He grits his teeth, trying to decide if he’s upset with me for cheering for Fifi, but then turns his back and goes back to the huddle.
Fifi jogs past me, shaking his head. “You shouldn’t have done that, you made him mad.”
I shrug. “Sorry, Fifi, I acknowledge something impressive when I see it.” I try to smother a grin unsuccessfully. “Plus, um…there’s nothing like seeing a man getting all dominant.”
Fifi stops to throw me a surprised glare, then a knowing grin spreads over his face and he nods, winking at me like we’re sharing a little secret.
The game starts again, and this time Bradley gets the ball and starts to run with Fifi chasing him toward the end zone. Damn, that’d be hot, two pretty boys mashed together. But, despite me sort of wanting Fifi to catch him, Bradley makes a touchdown and does an absurd little moonwalk dance.
“See th
at, Misty?” he calls. “I didn’t only play basketball in high school.”
A hand reaches out and knocks him down. He glares up at Fifi, his perpetrator, as Fifi struts away. Bradley looks at me, confused, and I just shrug.
The game starts again, Asher manages to complete a pass to Tim, who passes to Tom, as they run down the field, too fast for anyone to catch them, beautiful pecs bouncing in tandem as they run. The score is tied up.
Asher bumps chests with the two brothers, and they seem to get along well.
Jack high fives Asher and gathers the guys together. I can see Matt shaking his head.
Lindon is the quarterback this time, and he locks eyes with Lock before pulling back his arm to throw. I see Matt’s eyes flick to his, and then I see Matt, in slow motion, moving to intercept the pass.
I cover my mouth with my hands, standing in excitement, ready to cheer if there’s a turnover.
Matt jumps into the air, blond hair waving, and somehow manages to catch the ball as Lock’s eyes widen in shock and Lindon’s jaw drops.
Matt stumbles a couple of steps with the ball and grins. But then seems to realize he doesn’t really know what to do with it. He has a second for the panic and horror of the situation to register on his face before Thor comes slamming into him.
The two go to the ground in a hard tumble of limbs and I hear gasps of ‘ooooh’ from the men around me. I get to my feet and run out onto the field.
Thor is standing up with the ball, saying ‘booyah’, and the other’s are either slapping him on the back or looking mildly ashamed of him. I run past him to Matt, worried as hell.
Chapter 10
Matt sits up slowly, holding his stomach. Aside from a grass stain on his cheek, he looks okay. Just pissed as all get out. He stands up, pushes past me to Thor, whom he shoves, hard.
“What the fuck?” Thor asks. “You had the ball.”
“That was too hard, dude. Were you trying to kill me?”
The smile fades from Thor’s face and a dark expression takes over as he towers over the smaller man. “Oh, I’m sorry, I knew you were small but I didn’t know you wanted us to baby you.” He folds his arms and takes a step forward and Matt steps back. And winces in pain.
Ultimate Alpha Boxed Set: A BBW and Wolf Shifter collection Page 58
