I bite the corner of my lip. “When do you leave?”
He clears his throat, looking down before his dark blue gaze raises and he looks into my eyes. “Monday,” he practically whispers.
“Monday, like this Monday?” I ask as my mouth stays slightly open in surprise.
He leans back in his chair and continues to look at me, his expression is one of disinterest, but I know he was scared to tell me, he’s just throwing his guard up now.
“Yeah. Monday. You’ll be all moved in and you said yourself, Ginger is taking you to get whatever shit you need to set up house at least for a while. When I get back we can get whatever else you want,” he shrugs.
I want to throw a fit. Monday. How can he think that us moving into a strange and new house on Saturday, and him leaving on Monday for three weeks would be okay, I’ll never know. However, it’s not my place to complain. Pressing my lips together I inhale a breath through my nose, then let it out.
“You’re pissed,” he states.
I shake my head. “I’m not mad, just surprised,” I lie.
I’m so pissed, but not just about this disappearing act for three weeks, I’m pissed about everything. Him being gone for so long just means he’ll be screwing more women. I know when he goes to Idaho he’ll be staying at another Devils’ clubhouse, then wherever he goes after that will more than likely be a clubhouse.
My stomach twists and turns at the idea of him sleeping around like that. I wish I could make him stay, or never touch another woman, but I can’t. I know what my role is as an Old Lady and telling him who he can and cannot fuck is not my place. I’ve seen men turn down freely offered pussy, but I’m not naïve enough to think that Ward is one of those men, especially after what I overheard earlier today.
Ward finishes shoveling food in his mouth before he reaches over and wraps his strong fingers around my wrist, giving me a gentle squeeze. “It’ll fly by, babe. Then, I’ll be home and we can finish getting the house set up. I shouldn’t have to leave again after this for a while.”
I nod, giving him a fake smile, not wishing to dig too much more into this conversation. I actually just want to go to bed. I want this day to just be over and done with. I don’t finish my dinner, my appetite completely lost. Grabbing plates and silverware, I take it to the kitchen as Ward offers to get Easton cleaned up.
Once Easton and the kitchen are all cleaned up, I go into the living room and sit on the floor where Easton is building a tower with his giant Legos.
“It’s only a couple weeks, baby. Swear to fuck, you won’t even realize I’ve been gone so long,” Ward grins from his place on the couch.
I look up at him and give him a sad smile, which I’m sure looks pathetic because I honestly just feel like crying and I hate myself for it. “We’ll be okay,” I shrug.
Ward shakes his head. “Something is up with you, talk to me,” he gently demands.
I press my lips together, then roll them a few times, trying to decide what I’m going to say to him. There’s a thin line of the appropriate way to approach this subject of other women with him.
Initially, I was going to completely ignore it, in hopes that I would just get over it, or at least be able to pretend it didn’t bother me. However, with each passing moment, I want to scream and cry and beg him not to touch anybody else. There’s no ignoring this feeling inside of me.
“I’m going to put Easton to bed. We’ll talk and stuff after,” I offer.
Ward’s eyes narrow slightly, then he shakes his head. I pick Easton up and I expect him to stay in his same place on the couch, but he doesn’t. Instead, he stands to his feet and follows behind me. I pull out one of Easton’s favorite stories then sit down next to his bed after I’ve placed him inside and given him his favorite blanket.
Opening the book, I begin to read. I can feel Ward’s eyes on me, but my focus is on Easton and telling him all about Mickey and Donald’s latest adventure. It doesn’t take me long to read the short bedtime story and by the time I’m finished, Easton’s eyelids are droopy, and his face is completely relaxed. Leaning over, I brush my lips across his cheek as I stand up.
“I lub you, Mama,” he sighs as his eyes completely close.
Running my finger across his plump cheek, I mumble that I love him too. Ward and I walk out of his room and quietly close the door behind us.
“To our room,” Ward growls.
I want to roll my eyes at him, but I don’t. I walk straight toward my room, and sit down on the edge of the bed, immediately slipping off my shoes. Ward doesn’t speak right away, and neither do I. Honestly, I don’t really know what to say, that’s a lie, I know what I want to say, but I can’t.
“You need to tell me what’s happened between this morning and tonight,” he barks.
Twisting my head to the side, I look over at him. He’s standing just inside of the doorway, his hands on his hips and his jaw clenched with anger.
I let out a sigh and shake my head. “Nothing happened,” I lie, again.
He snorts. “Bull-fucking-shit. I knew something was up with you the second I walked into the bar. I know when you’re happy, Hayden and I know when you’re pissed, or when you’re stressed but whatever you have rolling around inside of your head right now, I don’t know what it is. You’re going to have to tell me what the fuck is going on inside that pretty head of yours, baby.”
“You marked me,” I rasp. He nods, his eyes widening slightly, and I wonder if he thinks I’m insane by pointing that out. He waits for me to continue though, and I try to choose my words wisely, but my emotions are starting to take over. “You marked me, and you’re fucking whores. Just give me a little time to accept that.”
“Hayden,” he says, his voice sounding like a deep warning.
Holding my hand up, I shake my head. “It’s not my place to ask, or question, or anything. I just. I overheard some of the guys talking about it today, and it surprised me. I guess I didn’t think you’d be doing that. We never talked about it, and it’s silly for me to think you’d be monogamous…”
I don’t realize what’s going on until it’s happening. Ward is suddenly in front of me and he places his hand on my chest and shoves me back against the mattress. I gasp in surprise as he straddles my hips and his nose is just inches from my own. He’s obviously pissed off and I hold my breath as I wait for him to speak.
“You think I’m fucking other bitches?” he growls. I don’t say anything, instead, I just nod my head. “Who told you I’ve been with anyone else?”
“I overheard a couple of guys say you were fucking someone’s ass a few days ago,” I snap.
My eyes round with my own words and Ward’s head jerks back as though I’ve hit him. He pushes off of me and stands at the side of the bed. I sit up as he’s running his hand through his hair and beginning to pace.
“It’s been more than a few days,” he states.
“You claimed me, and I have no right to ask,” I whisper.
His head turns to me and he stops walking. “You have every right to ask,” he announces. “Fuck, I’m a bastard, but I’m not that much of a bastard, Hayden. You ask, and I’ll tell, that’s how this is going to work. Just like I ask, and you tell.”
“Have you fucked one of the clubwhores, in the ass, recently?” I dare to ask.
My breathing is more like panting as I watch his actions, and reaction, to my question. His eyes never leave my own, and I like that his gaze is steady as he looks at me.
CROONER
I should lie to her. I should tell her no. Her eyes are pleading with me, begging to tell her what I know would be a lie, but what she wants to hear. Nobody wants this truth, not even if she’s asking me for it. I told her that she has every right to ask and that I’ll tell, but I never said it would always be the truth.
“It’s been two weeks,” I blurt out.
She blinks slowly, then nods. “In the ass?”
I scrub my hand over my face, wondering if this is the time to tell
her my one major hang up. It’s a hang up that hasn’t been an issue with her, so I wasn’t planning on telling her. Tugging on the end of my beard I let out a grunt, then I groan. I’m just going to say it.
“My father was religious. He taught me that sex was for procreation only,” I announce.
Hayden sits up and tucks her legs beneath her body, her mouth opens slightly in an O shape. I want to fill it with my dick and forget this entire goddamn conversation. Unfortunately, I can’t do that, she’s definitely interested in what I have to say right about now.
“The only loophole in physical pleasure, aside from oral, is anal. It was drilled into my head from the time I hit puberty until he died. I tried casually fucking pussy, Hayden, and every time the guilt I felt would make me feel sick. I felt like a disappointment. I was in a couple short but committed relationships and I could have sex without feeling too bad, but never casually.”
“You can do it with me though, or does it make you feel bad?” she asks, her voice taking on a softer tone than just a few moments ago. I recognize it for what it is, she feels pity for me, she feels fucking sorry for me.
I begin to pace again, clenching my jaw and trying not to get too angry with her. She doesn’t understand, and she probably never will because it’s not fucking normal. I realize that now, but I’m hardwired and there’s no changing me.
“We’re committed, Hayden. You’re going to be my wife and the mother of my children. Hell, to the Devils, you’re already my wife,” I announce.
She blinks and nods slowly. “Okay. So, we can have sex the regular way, and you won’t feel bad. That’s good,” she mutters. “Does this mean that you’re still going to be fucking whores in the ass?” she bluntly asks me.
Goddamn, I love it when she comes straight out like that. My lips twitch in a grin, one that I’m sure she can’t see beneath my beard.
Reaching forward, I wrap my hand around the side of her neck, running my thumb up and down on her throat before I answer. “Nobody else, Hayden. There’s only you.”
Her lips tremble and I want to kiss them, but I don’t, not yet. I wait for her to speak. “Don’t lie to me about this, Ward,” she demands.
Lowering my head, I press my forehead against hers and I inhale a deep breath before I let it out. “Baby, I would never lie to you, especially not about something this important. I can see how much it means to you, and Hayden, I wouldn’t hurt you like that. I think you’ve been hurt enough, you don’t need to be hurt by your own man.”
Her hand lifts and I feel her fingers tangle in the hair at the back of my head. “Okay,” she rasps.
“Fuck, baby I love you. Not fucking anyone else. At my clubhouse, or anywhere else, especially not when I have you waiting at home for me,” I admit, shifting my head so I can brush my lips across her own.
Her fingers tighten in my hair, grasping onto me as she breathes. “I love you too, Ward. I just, I know the rules, and when I heard them say that, and then you said you were leaving. I freaked out,” she admits.
I chuckle, running my nose along her own. “I don’t blame you, but swear to fuck, Hayden, you’re the only one I’m fucking, from now until I die,” I grin.
“What if you outlive me?” she asks, a smile forming on her pretty plump lips.
Releasing my hold on her neck, I lift my head slightly so that I can look into her soft green eyes. “Then my cock is going to be neglected, don’t leave me here like that,” I wink.
Hayden’s head falls back, and she lets out a gorgeous sounding giggle. I love it, closing my eyes I relish in the sound. “We good, babe?” I ask.
She lifts her head, her smile still playing on her lips and she nods. “We’re good, Ward.”
Lowering my head, I press my lips to hers and give her a long, slow kiss. It doesn’t take us long to end up completely naked, and then I show her just how much I love her pussy—the taste and the feel, both. By the end of the night, we’re both satisfied, if not completely exhausted.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
HAYDEN
With the notepad in my hand, I scribble down a list of must-haves for today. I don’t know how I’m going to pay for everything. I’ve been able to save quite a bit since Ginger never charged me rent, but Gracie isn’t free and having her watch Easton has cost a small fortune. I wouldn’t trade her for the world though, she loves my baby almost as much as I do I think.
“Hey baby, is Ginger coming soon?” Ward asks, his lips skimming my neck from behind me.
I nod as his hands slide around my waist and press against my stomach. The heat from his chest covers my back and my nipples tighten, my breasts ache for his touch. One of his hands slips up to cup my breast and he gently squeezes me, his tongue snaking out to taste my skin.
“I’m giving you money, buy whatever you need today,” he states.
I want to protest, to tell him no, but honestly, it’s a relief. He really shouldn’t give me anything, especially since he’s paying all of the household bills. He told me that my income was for, fun. I’m also not quite sure how I feel about that. I think I should be contributing, but he has been adamant about taking care of everything.
“Ward,” I warn.
He makes a tsking sound and turns me around, walking me backward until I hit the wall of our bedroom.
“Where’s Easton?” I breathe looking up into his eyes.
Ward growls, lowering his face to mine and brushes his lips across my mouth. “He’s napping,” he says.
In a flash, my panties are wrenched down my legs and Ward picks me up, his hips pressing against my center. I feel his hard length beneath his jeans and moan as the rough material rubs against my bare pussy.
“Free me, baby,” he growls.
His lips travel down my throat as his fingers grip the outsides of my thighs. Reaching between us, I unbutton his jeans, then unzip them before I shove them over his hips and ass. I gently tug his underwear down before I wrap my hand around his cock. His mouth doesn’t stop kissing my neck, and I shiver in his hands. I begin slowly stroking him, moaning at the feel of his mouth against my skin.
“Guide me home, baby,” he groans against my neck.
I do as he asks without delay. I want him inside of me, a feeling I knew I always wanted, yet, didn’t realize how much I would come to crave.
When he’s fully seated inside of me, I lift my hands and wrap my fingers around his shoulders for stability. Ward lifts his head and his gaze connects with mine. He pulls almost completely out, then slams back inside of me his fingers holding onto my thighs even tighter.
He grunts, repeating the motion at the same time I gasp. The wind is completely knocked out of me with each slam of his hips. His eyes never leave mine. I feel like he’s trying to tell me something, trying to show me something but he doesn’t say anything. His pelvis grinds against mine and my eyes slide closed.
Gone are thoughts of anything but his body and the way he makes my own feel.
Ward moves his hands around to the insides of my thighs and spreads me farther, stretching my legs and giving his hips more room. My eyes pop open at the new sensation. Once I’m positioned the way he likes, he tips his head down and he watches as he pulls out and slides back inside of me. His eyes stay glued to our connection, watching as he fucks me. Something about the look on his face makes my belly dip.
I whimper, my body heating and climbing closer toward another release. “Touch your clit, baby,” he growls, his head and eyes unmoving.
Releasing his shoulder with one of my hands, I move it to between us. Ward groans as soon as my fingers touch my clit.
“Fuck, yes, Hayden. Make yourself come, I want to see it,” he growls.
His hips start to move faster, his thrusts a little shallower than before. I do as requested, my head drops back against the wall with a thud and I rub quick, firm circles against my clit. It doesn’t take long for my breathing to turn into short pants, and I come, my pussy clamping down around him as I let out a long embarrassingly
loud sob.
I move my hand out of the way just in time. Ward’s hips slam against me, over and over, his power unleashed, unlike anything I’ve felt from him before.
I accept the pain from his brutal thrusts, enjoying every satisfying second until he slams me against the wall one last time, throwing his head back with a roar as he fills me with his release.
That is the exact moment I realize he hasn’t used a condom, again. “Ward,” I gasp. He buries his face against my neck, his hips jerking as he continues to slide in and out of my body. “Condom,” I breathe.
“Fuck it, Hayden,” he grunts as he slowly steps away from me, helping me to stand on my own two feet.
I smooth my cotton dress down, my eyes wide from his words. “Fuck it?” I ask.
He tucks himself back into his pants and zips himself back up. “Yeah, baby. Fuck it. You’re mine, permanently marked. I’m not using a fucking condom anymore. I know you said you didn’t want a baby right now. You have a few weeks to get that shit handled while I’m gone, but your pussy is mine and I’m taking it wherever and whenever I want. That doesn’t really leave me many options for protection and I’ll be damned if I’m walking around with a pack of condoms in my wallet.”
My eyes narrow and I cross my arms over my chest, glaring, replaying his callous words. “Wherever and whenever you want?” I ask.
He doesn’t verbally respond, instead, he just stares at me, daring me to say something to him. This cockiness, I can’t stand, this dare to defy. It reminds me of the men of my past and I hate it.
“I’m not fucking you wherever you feel like, Ward. I’ve been men’s fuckdoll before and I didn’t think that’s what we were. I thought we were different than that,” I say. “I’m glad I’ve been educated, now I know.”
Turning away from him, I start to walk into the bathroom to clean up. Ginger is going to be here any minute to pick me up. Ward’s fingers wrap around my bicep and he grips me hard, twisting me around and shoving my back up against the wall. His face is full of fury and rage, but I look up at him impassively, just waiting for him to say whatever it is he wants to say.
Chased with Strength_Notorious Devils Page 12
