Paige had suggested we meet for tea at 3:00 at Boulder’s Dushanbe Tea House. A pleasant sweet spicy scent of scented teas and Middle Eastern food surrounded me as I entered the restaurant. I always enjoy going there. The Teahouse—a gift to Boulder from our sister city, Dushanbe, the capital of Tajikistan—was hand carved by Tajik artisans, shipped to Boulder in pieces, then reassembled downtown next to Boulder Creek. The ambiance is both stunning and serene. Vivid colorful carved panels are everywhere you look—ceiling, columns, walls—and a central fountain with hammered copper sculptures splashes into a pool surrounded by plants.
I spotted Paige right away sitting at an isolated corner table with a squat black teapot in front of her. Hard to miss that striking mop of curly red hair. As I approached, she jumped up to give me a hug, even though I’d only met her the one time at Gayle’s. It’s the Boulder way. Despite her slender willowy body, her arms and shoulders were strong, which reminded me that she’s a yoga teacher.
“I hope you don’t mind that I already ordered tea,” Paige said with a smile. “I got here a little early to relax and enjoy the atmosphere.” Once again, I was struck by her lyrical voice, which drew me in right away.
I sat and ordered a pot of tangerine herbal tea while Paige got a refresher for the green jasmine she was drinking. She made idle chitchat about the beauty of the teahouse until our server was done. Then she sat quietly waiting for me to begin.
The teahouse was half empty and no one was close enough to overhear us, so I got right to the point. “If I have this right, you set up the personal journey gathering,” I said. “You’re Rivka Ravenstar, is that right?”
She showed no sign of surprise at my question. “That’s right,” she said. “Rivka Ravenstar is the name I use for my business—teaching yoga and conducting wilderness journeys for women. It’s my Wiccan high priestess name. Do you know much about Wicca?”
I poured some tea from my teapot into my cup and took a sip. Sweet, spicy and delicious. I knew very little about Wicca, but I tossed out what I could come up with. “Wicca is an earth-based religion that has rituals and ceremonies outside in nature, right?” I said tentatively.
She nodded. “Yes. We Wiccans feel very close to the earth. For us the soul of nature gives life to the universe.” I leaned back and relaxed as the melodic quality of her voice turned her words into poetry. “Wicca is what got me into taking women on wilderness journeys,” she said. “It’s a way of giving modern women the opportunity to connect with the natural world the way land-based people of our past did. Dialoguing with nature in silence allows for inner reflection, discovery, and new perspectives.”
Listening to her, I could hear that Paige was a natural at leading these women’s journeys. I might become Wiccan myself if I listened much longer. “Are the other Moxie members Wiccans?” I asked.
Paige smiled, her green eyes sparkling. “No, I’m the only one. I’ve never tried to convert them. Wiccans don’t proselytize. But the journeys aren’t about being Wiccan. That’s my framework, but the journey is personal for each woman. They bring their own beliefs and inner rhythm to the experience.”
Much as I was enjoying listening to her talk about Wicca, I forced myself back to my plan to get some specifics about the gathering. “Can you tell me a little about how you set up the event?” I asked.
“Sure,” she said. “I’ve told it to the sheriff and other rescuers so many times that it feels like a memorized speech. We went up to the Rainbow Lakes Campground in the Indian Peaks Wilderness on November sixth. It was a Monday evening. No one else was there. We all brought food to share in a community meal, and we had a big fire, and a ceremony where we declared our intentions to renew our lives and our relationships through our personal journeys. We shared positive feelings about each other, and each put forward our hopes for new visions for ourselves. It ended with a celebration circle with candles. Then we slept in our tents.”
“Then you went on the individual journeys the next morning?”
Tears welled up in her eyes. “Yes,” she said, her voice breaking. “Tuesday morning everyone gathered up their tents, sleeping bags and all their stuff and we locked it in my van. We each kept only our rain gear, a knife, water and some raw organic food bars. The starting place for each woman was mapped out. We each went off alone into the wilderness. I didn’t see or hear any of them until we reassembled at sunrise Wednesday at the campground.”
“Did you all get back there at about the same time?”
“Pretty much. Lark and Diana were there when I got there. Then Gayle showed up, and then Hana. We were supposed to have a circle gathering to share our experiences and personal insights, but we kept waiting for Sabrina to show up before we started. After a couple of hours, we got worried and started looking for her. We combed the area, calling and searching, getting more and more frantic. When it got to be noon and we still hadn’t found her, I called the sheriff.” Paige stopped and pulled out a tissue to wipe her eyes.
I waited until she looked calm, then asked softly, “What do you think happened to her?”
She shook her head. More tears ran down her face. “I have no idea. Nothing like this has ever happened at one of my wilderness journeys. I can’t imagine how she just disappeared. I’ve gone over and over every minute of the time we were there. I’m obsessed. I blame myself.”
“Do you think someone might have picked her up in a car? That maybe she went off with someone?”
“I guess someone could have picked her up, but she wouldn’t just go off. Sabrina cared too much about being a good mom to leave Ian without telling him where she was going. She’d never do that. She knows what it’s like to lose your mom as a teenager.”
I didn’t feel comfortable sharing what Maria had told me about Ian believing Sabrina had been picked up. Time to move on to another topic. I sipped my tea and thought about how to bring up the Moxie mess. Again I opted for the direct approach. “From my conversations with the other Moxie women, I’ve gotten the idea that Sabrina wanted the Moxie members to go on the personal journeys as a way of resolving some serious issues that had come up in the group. Would you agree?”
She closed her eyes briefly, then opened them and gazed directly into mine. “That was certainly a big part of it,” she said, softly. “But Sabrina also had some personal issues that she wanted to work on. She was looking for a renewed vision—some kind of new direction in her life.”
I kept the eye contact as I pushed on. “I know that’s all very personal and confidential, but given what’s happened, I’m wondering if you can tell me any more about what she was hoping for.”
Paige checked her teapot and found it empty. She picked up a spoon, stirred the dregs in her cup, then placed the spoon carefully on the table. Finally she responded. “Has anyone said anything about the thirty-day plan Sabrina mentioned at the circle ceremony that night?”
Sabrina had a plan? Why was she the first to mention it? I stifled my surprise and answered calmly. “No. No one told me about that. What was her thirty-day plan?”
Paige turned her gaze inward. “I don’t know anything specific,” she said. “Sabrina said she was feeling overwhelmed and burdened by many people close to her, that she knew giving had been her pattern in life, and that she felt that she was giving too much.” Paige stopped as if a wall had come up in front of her. But she pushed through it and went on slowly. “Apparently this all started when Diana told her she was an enabler, which Sabrina said she thought was ridiculous at first. But she said she had come to believe it and she wanted to change it. And she had a thirty-day plan to do that.”
This sounded like some information that might help us figure out what happened to Sabrina. I wanted to know more. “Do you know what has happened to her plan? Sabrina’s been missing almost thirty days.”
Paige winced and her cheeks flushed. She cleared her throat. “Well…um…I know a little,” she stuttered. “But I’ll only speak for myself here.” Her eyes darted around the room, then
returned to meet my gaze. “I was part of the plan,” she said. “Sabrina lent me some money a year ago so I could help my disabled brother. I haven’t been able to pay her back, and she told me right before our gathering that I needed to repay the loan in thirty days.” She rubbed her neck and looked away. “I don’t really have the money, but I could get it if I had to. And I would get it and pay her back in a flash if she were here.”
Tears filled her eyes as she continued. “I never meant to take advantage of her. She said she had the money to spare. Now I so wish I could give her back that money today. But I don’t know what to do except pay it back to Ian or Sabrina’s estate when we finally find out what happened to her.”
I could feel Paige’s pain. Grieving people who feel they have failed a lost loved one in some way have a strong desire to rectify that, to make amends. That can be very hard to resolve. When we said our goodbyes, I gave Paige an extra sympathetic hug.
Chapter 14
By the time I got home from my meeting with Paige, it was nearly five o’clock, and the sun had already set at my house by the foothills. The temperamental lock on my old front door is even trickier on a dark cold evening, but I finally got it open. I pushed my way in, dropped my jacket on the floor, and sagged onto my living room couch, wishing Pablo was sitting there ready to wrap me in his comfy, warm arms, and hold me tight.
But what I had was a voicemail message from him answering my voicemail. He said he’d be free at 6:00 p.m., so I could call him then. I used the extra time to take a hot shower and change into a robe, which cheered me up a little.
“Hi, hon,” he said, answering on the first ring. “I hope you’ve been having as great a day as I have. This training is turning out to be amazing—and it doesn’t hurt that we’re doing it in warm, sunny southern California.”
It warmed me just to hear his voice, but I couldn’t match his perky mood. Also, I needed to get his take on the Erik thing and I needed to do it carefully. While I hated to keep Pablo at arm’s length, I needed to give him just enough information to get his help—but not enough to give away my level of involvement in the case.
“My day can’t match yours,” I said. “I did have some great food for brunch at Elisa’s this morning, and we went for a nice short hike after. But then I got a huge shock from Elisa’s daughter, Maria. I found out that the mother of Maria’s boyfriend may have gone off with that sociopath, Erik Vaughn. Remember him from last summer—the guy who scammed people with that herb-growing business?”
“Erik Vaughn is back in Boulder?” Pablo’s voice dripped skepticism. “Hard to believe that when he knows the police are after him for that scam. But if he is back, please tell me you’re not involved with him in any way, Cleo.”
Uh oh. Just what I figured he’d say. Fortunately he couldn’t see me rolling my eyes. “No, no, he’s not here in town, at least not that I know of. It sounds like he may have snuck in and picked the lady up without anyone knowing. You remember that woman who went missing up at Indian Peaks last month? Sabrina Larson? Her son is Maria’s boyfriend. And while searchers have been looking for Sabrina everywhere, her son Ian and his aunt have believed all along that Erik picked Sabrina up at the campground and they went off together.”
“Why would she do that? And why wouldn’t the son and the aunt tell the searchers what’s going on?” I heard even more skepticism.
I sighed to myself, but not in a way he could hear. It’s complicated. Apparently Sabrina was involved with Erik last spring and summer, probably right before we met him. They broke up and then he disappeared—you and I know why—and she never heard from him again. But apparently he called when Sabrina had gone to Indian Peaks and Brandi told him where Sabrina was.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Who’s Brandi?” Pablo’s voice was rising. “And why wouldn’t she have told the searchers by now if she thinks Sabrina went off with Erik?” he challenged.
This story was getting complicated. But I was into it now, so I had to go on explaining. “Brandi is Sabrina’s sister and the aunt of Ian—Maria’s boyfriend. Maria said Brandi and Ian have some reason to believe Sabrina wants them to keep it secret that she went off with Erik. But they don’t know all that we know about Erik’s past and what’s happened to his former wives. I’m very worried about Sabrina. Like his other wives, she has some money, and I think that puts a huge target on her back where Erik is concerned.”
“Cleo, just how involved are you in this situation? Why is it your responsibility?”
I leaned back, closed my eyes and worked on staying calm. “It’s not my responsibility, but if she’s with Erik, she’s in danger.”
“You could be right. But there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. She has a right to go off with whoever she wants to go off with.”
“But should I tell the police what I know?”
“What do you really know? You don’t even know if she did go off with him. She may have fallen and hit her head in some isolated part of Indian Peaks. It’s snowed up there since she disappeared. Her body could be covered up and they just haven’t found her yet. Her family may be hanging on to the idea that she went off with Erik because they don’t want to face the fact that in all probability she’s dead. I’ve seen that reaction a lot. People will grasp at any straw to keep hope alive.”
“But shouldn’t I tell the police about Erik?”
“I doubt they’d do much. Missing adults don’t get anyone very excited. There are way too many of them. The cops will figure she had her reasons to run away and there’s no law against it.”
I sensed Pablo’s impatience with my continued questions, but I couldn’t stop myself. I’m a Scorpio and when I have a question I keep probing until I get an answer. “But wouldn’t the cops want to catch Erik?” I asked.
“They might, but we know how accomplished he is at disappearing. They couldn’t find him last summer and I doubt they could now.”
“I can’t leave it that way, Pablo. If Sabrina marries Erik and then mysteriously dies. I’d feel responsible if I hadn’t tried to stop it.”
“I still don’t see why this is your responsibility, Cleo. I want you to be careful. You’re pregnant, honey. You know what I always say about amateurs and police work. But if you feel that strongly about it, I’ll give the Boulder PD a call. They’re more likely to listen to me than to you.”
I heaved a huge sigh of relief and ended the conversation before he could make me promise to stay out of the situation from now on. “Thanks, sweetie. I owe you. Let me know what they say, okay?”
§ § §
I was suddenly starving, so I fixed myself a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup. There’s something so soothing about comfort food on a cold night at home. I turned on the TV, surfed around, and ended up watching Miracle on 34th Street, which seems to run nonstop in December. I love its uplifting message about believing in more than we can rationally explain.
Part way through the movie, Gayle called. I know the movie ending by heart, so I went ahead and picked up. “Cleo, I’m desperate.” Gayle’s voice shook. “You have to help me! I need to contact Sabrina right away before Brandi goes any further. Is there any way we can do it tomorrow?” she begged.
“Why are you desperate to do it tomorrow?” I asked calmly, trying to reel her in a little.
Her words rushed over themselves as her story tumbled out with hardly a pause for breath. “I couldn’t stand worrying about Ian any more, so I went over to Sabrina’s today to reason with Brandi about Ian. I hoped if she understood I wasn’t after Sabrina’s money, she might back off and let Ian stay with me until Sabrina is found. But Brandi screamed at me. Wouldn’t even let me in the front door. Accused me of harassing her. Threatened to call the police and get a restraining order against me. Said she’s filing court papers tomorrow to be appointed the executor of Sabrina’s property and Ian’s guardian.” Gayle finally reached a stopping point, panting and gasping.
I thought she was overreacting. I doubted that B
randi had this much power. I moved on to the bottom line. “Isn’t Ian old enough to tell the court where he wants to stay?” I asked.
“He’s sixteen. I expect he’d have a say,” Gayle said briskly. “But the problem is he likes Brandi. He’s a teenager and she lets him do whatever he wants most of the time. Sabrina and Ian were having some issues about his grades before she disappeared. All he cares about is snowboarding and he’s been letting his grades slide. Sabrina was making him spend more time studying. But Brandi doesn’t care about schoolwork. Ian knows I’d push him like Sabrina was, so he’d probably choose to stay with Brandi. We can’t let that happen!”
I wondered why Maria had never mentioned anything about Ian and his mom arguing about his grades and how much time he spends snowboarding vs. studying. But if that was an issue, I could see how he’d prefer Brandi’s laissez faire approach to parenting over Gayle’s stricter stance. In fact he might favor Brandi’s style over Sabrina’s. Enough that he was in no hurry for Sabrina to come home?
“I guess that’s one of the problems with giving a sixteen-year-old this sort of choice,” I said. “You can’t assume they’ll choose what’s in their best interests. But what about Sabrina’s will? Can Brandi get the court to make her Ian’s guardian when Sabrina has a will making you his guardian?”
“Apparently she can,” Gayle said dolefully. “I called my lawyer and he said that right now Sabrina is a missing person not a dead person. The law presumes that a missing person is alive until the person is proven dead. Unless her body is found, the courts won’t declare her dead for five to seven years. Meanwhile the court can appoint whoever they choose as executor and guardian. The fact that Brandi is living there with Ian and that’s she’s Sabrina’s only relative is in her favor. So she’ll probably get appointed.”
Lynn Osterkamp - Cleo Sims 03 - Too Many Secrets Page 8
