As soon as Hayden left the lab, Mila had finally allowed herself to breathe again. Then he had returned to invite her to the damn Running of the Moon. She had never been a fast runner, and now, after the virus, well. . . If she joined him on the run, he’d finally learn about her. He’d think less of her, and she simply wasn’t ready for that. She liked how Hayden always looked her straight in the eyes as if she had worth. How he allowed her to argue with him too. She could speak her mind, without fearing any backlash. And then there was his touch that stirred a part of her that she had never experienced before. For a moment she thought it was her wolf returning to her, but then she realized this was something more primal than her wolf even.
Of all things to invite her to. . . No, she wasn’t ready to tell him the truth, to lose him just yet. It was selfish of her, but she wanted a little time to get to know Hayden first, maybe even enjoy his company.
“I’ve got to go, Finley,” she said as she raced up the hill after Hayden. She’d seen the hurt in his eyes.
Her chest was heaving as she ran up the hill toward the center of the compound. Hayden was definitely in good shape, with the endurance and speed of a strong shifter.
She wasn’t even sure what she was going to say to him, only that she had to say something. Hurting Hayden was the last thing she wanted. He had done more than save her in the woods. He had taken care of her, watched over her, and whispered to her when he thought she was still unconscious. His voice, his words, the way this thumb had stroked the back of her hand. . . all of it was sweet and caring.
When was the last time someone had truly cared about her? Her parents had been glad to see her leave their house. She had been a disgrace their whole life, an oddity they couldn’t explain. Even having graduated medical school and returning to the pack to ply her knowledge there hadn’t earned her any kind words. From her very first shift at twelve, they’d been embarrassed by her.
Mila heard the shouting before she reached the compound. She hadn’t expected to see Hayden in a shouting match with Lars and Benji, Finley’s friends. They were two of the easiest going shifters she had met since arriving here. Was Hayden that mad at her that he was taking his anger out on them? She couldn’t imagine it, but there Hayden was, poking a single finger into Benji’s chest, causing the shifter to stumble back into the stump where he had been splitting logs.
“You’re too like your brother to ever be one of us,” Benji said. “Damien only made you second because he pitied you. You’ll never be alpha because no one here will ever follow you, Novak.”
“You’re welcome to leave anytime, Olsen,” Hayden said, his voice deceptively calm. His back straightened, making him look every bigger compared to Benji. It was a common move among strong shifters, one she had seen too often in her life. This shouting match would degrade into fisticuffs soon enough unless someone intervened. Mila glanced around. She didn’t know most of the shifters who had gathered around, but several of the males had grouped behind Benji in obvious support, while others simply maintained a safe distance.
“Just another fucking traitor,” Benji spat out.
Hayden’s muscles rippled and she could swear he was going to shift and lay into Benji. Instead, Hayden shoved the shifter forward. “You’re the last person I have to prove myself to.”
As Mila approached from behind Hayden, Benji curled his lip and tilted his head to look past Hayden. “Hey, cutie,” he said to Mila. She almost turned to see who he was talking to. She wasn’t on familiar terms with Benji. She’d only met him once. “I’ll be done here in a minute, okay, cutie?”
Hayden drew in a deep breath and spun around. Dark eyes grew wide. “Mila. . .” His expression eased, softening in a way that made her want to reach out and caress his cheek. What was it about this shifter that called to her? He was not right for her, yet her heart raced, and her entire body grew warm just from that one look he was giving her.
Whatever it was he intended to say, he never had the chance as Benji grabbed the ax and swung at Hayden while his back was turned. The blade sliced across Hayden’s lower back. Pain flashed through his eyes before they turned deadly cold.
Hayden shifted so fast Mila found herself speechless. Shouts and screams erupted all around her as the white wolf pinned Benji beneath him. The weaker shifter never had a chance to shift. The ax lay in his clench hand, with Hayden’s forepaw on Benji’s arm, holding him and the ax down. Hayden’s gums pulled back in a very scary snarl that had other shifters begging him to release Benji.
They all thought Hayden was going to kill Benji. He wouldn’t kill a packmate, would he? Hayden’s jaws opened as they clamped over Benji’s exposed throat.
“Hayden, no!” Mila shouted as her body shook with fear.
Three wolves suddenly leapt into the area, but none made a move toward Hayden. They assessed the threat and understood it for what it was, their second was putting a weak shifter in his place. But they didn’t know what had led up to it or how Benji was seconds from having his throat ripped out.
The tan wolf shifted. She didn’t know this one, but he was all muscle and wore a scowl a mile long. “Everyone leave.” Every shifter in the area, including the guards that had come to ensure the pack was safe, disappeared into the trees. Only the tan wolf remained. “You too, Doctor.”
“He’s injured.”
The shifter glanced at Hayden, only now noticing the blood staining his white fur. “Stay, but don’t interfere,” he said as he too started to leave.
“Where are you going?” she asked, panic seeping into her voice. “What if he kills Benji?”
The shifter glanced back over his shoulder. “Who? Hayden?” The shifter lifted a brow and then walked away, leaving her to witness, or clean up after whatever was going to happen.
Hayden stood on top of Benji, a low growl coming from his throat as he bared his teeth. Then, as quickly as the fight had started, it ended, with Hayden’s wolf jumping off of Benji and walking into the woods. Mila glanced at Benji, who was already sitting up, shaking, but otherwise unharmed. She ran after Hayden, but he had disappeared.
This was one of those times she wished she could smell and see better. Following tracks out here was near impossible given how many shifters passed through the area every day. Mila frowned when she found several drops of blood. Why hadn’t he waited for her?
She followed his trail to a small cabin a hundred yards or so off the main trail. The place was quaint, log cabin style, with glass windows and a chimney that wasn’t in use despite the cold. The cabin didn’t have a door knocker or a lock for that matter. Just a handle. With a mere push of the door, it opened.
The interior didn’t look as rustic as the outside but was rather homey if not sparsely decorated. In the back was a kitchen large enough for prepping food, but not eating. A large sitting area faced the fireplace and another room beyond the fireplace, likely a bedroom. For a moment she questioned if she was in the wrong place. The easy-going camaraderie she had seen between Hayden and Callen, not to mention Kate had given her the impression that Hayden would be in one of the cabins down by the lake with the other single males, shooting the breeze when off duty. This setup here, a cabin in a very isolated part of the pack’s territory, seemed out of place like he was intentionally keeping his distance from the pack.
“What do you want, Mila?” his brusque voice boomed from the backroom. He had smelled her from the moment she had entered.
“I want to make sure you’re okay, Hayden,” she called back to the bedroom. She hated talking through walls.
“I’m fine. You can go.”
The dismissiveness in his tone hurt. Was this how she had sounded to him in her lab?
“I need to check your wound.” It was a lie, a partial one. Given the amount of blood, the cut was likely shallow. Hayden and his wolf were strong, and possibly already half-healed.
Silence greeted her from the backroom. He didn’t need her as a doctor. He didn’t need a shifter like her at all. She had bee
n a fool for coming here. “I won’t bother you again,” she said, walking to the door.
As she opened the door, he appeared behind her, his hand over hers, slowly pushing the door shut. His hand followed the path of her arm, to her shoulder, sending one long, delicious shiver through her body. His warm breath tickled the side of her neck as he eased her hair to the side. Her breath caught while he kissed that spot behind her ear that made her knees buckle. By some miracle, she kept herself upright.
“I was worried,” she said, searching for a way to stall until she found her feet again. He hadn’t pinned her or forced her to submit. He had barely touched her, yet she couldn’t move. There was a power to Hayden that held her there at his mercy. It was a different power than what she was used to, what she had come to fear.
At Hayden’s mercy. . . the very idea sent another spine-tingling shiver through her.
She was beginning to understand the tan shifter who’d sent the spectators away. He had left Benji pinned under Hayden, without fearing for one second that Hayden would kill Benji. Hayden wasn’t like the white wolf he resembled so much, or even Vance or Truman. He could control himself when pushed. A part of her had known that all along. It’s why she had never feared Hayden, even when they were alone, like now.
“My back is fine,” he said, his voice filled with a raw emotion she couldn’t quite identify. He didn’t sound angry or hurt like down at the maintenance building.
Slowly, Mila turned to face him. His eyes, deep black pools, swirled with desire. With a shaky hand, Mila trailed several fingers along Hayden’s cheek. “Are you okay?”
“Like I said, my back is fine.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
He was pulling away from her before she had even begun to grasp what might be happening between them. “Turn around. I want to examine the wound.”
He did as he was told. He was wearing a loose button-down shirt that she could easily lift to check his back, but somehow that felt too intimate. “Remove your shirt, please.”
A few seconds later, he had unbuttoned and removed the shirt, baring a well-muscled back that she had seen before, though only from a distance. Her hands were tempted to glide over every muscle, explore every dip and curve with her fingertips, maybe even her tongue. Her cheeks burned hot. She did not just picture herself licking him!
“Like what you see, Mila?”
Just the way he said that sent a shiver straight to her core. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” she replied, determined to keep her reply professional as she looked over the wound. As she thought, the skin had already knitted together, keeping her from determining how deep the blade had gone. “The wound’s already healing. You’ll be as good as new by morning.”
He spun around and his hand went to her throat so suddenly she flinched. A single finger slowly caressed the tender skin of her neck. “Your bruises are still here.” It wasn’t a question or even an observation, but an accusation that something wasn’t as it should be, that she was hiding something from him.
She had thought about covering the bruises with makeup. Tess had even offered to help her, but it wasn’t worth hiding her injuries. Those who hadn’t already guessed would find out soon enough.
“Half my pack was sick with SEV-2. Someone had to check on the sick, give them some relief where possible. The vaccine I’d been working on wasn’t ready.”
“You got sick, and when you woke, you could no longer reach your wolf,” he finished for her. The sympathy and understanding in his voice was the first time she had heard someone grieve for her loss. No longer being able to access her wolf was indeed a loss, but it was far from the end of the world. The last thing she wanted from Hayden of all people was pity. She was stronger than that. The very fact that she was in this house alone with a white wolf was proof of that.
“I lived. Fifty-three others weren’t as lucky.”
“This is why you pushed me away, why you walked when Kate and I shifted and why you refused to join me at the Running of the Moon?”
She nodded, watching his expression closely. That was her one regret, turning him down. She would have liked to run alongside his wolf, even if only one time, to know what it felt like.
“You won’t do that again.”
“Excuse me?” she said, her voice pitching high at his high-handed tone.
“You won’t lie to me again.”
“I’ve never lied to you, Second. You made assumptions.” She slipped past him and out the door. “I better go.”
“I’m sorry, Mila,” he said seconds later when he caught up to her. “I shouldn’t have said that. I thought you were afraid to tell me the truth.”
She was afraid, but she hadn’t lied. She wasn’t part of his pack and she only planned to stay long enough to develop the vaccine. He darted in front of her, forcing her to stop. He was a tower of muscle, as toned and chiseled as any statue she had ever seen in a museum, except for the three scars that ran from his chest to his abdomen and another deep scar that ran from his left elbow to the back of his hand.
Mila desperately wanted to ask him how he had gotten the scars and why Benji had called him a traitor even though that tan wolf had trusted that Hayden would not kill Benji. Hayden was a white wolf, for God’s sake! White wolves were known to be violent and unpredictable, but there was a gentleness to Hayden, one that she craved to wrap around her and shut out the rest of the world.
Technically she had never lied, but she was hiding a part of herself from him. Even if he thought he felt something for her now, it would only fade in time. In the eyes of a strong shifter, she was practically a human. Eventually, he would despise her for who she was, just like her parents had.
“I need to go, Hayden,” she said, but he placed his hands on her upper arms, sparking that warmth in her, giving life to a part of her that had died long ago.
“Stay, for just a bit?”
She shook her head, the ability to speak long gone.
“I won’t hurt you, Mila. Ever.”
He would hurt her, by leaving her, which was an inevitability. He was second to Damien, practically an alpha. Eventually, he would want to blood-bond a female, even if his wolf never showed signs of turning feral. All shifters wanted that special connection with their mate that only came through a blood-bond, but no strong shifter would want to blood-bond her. Vance had made that quite clear, though she was glad Vance had never pushed for a blood-bond. Being tied to him on that level would have killed her, possibly literally. Hayden on the other hand. . . Oh, how her stomach fluttered at the idea of blood-bonding him. That would truly be a dream come true.
She smiled at Hayden. It wasn’t hard to do. The shifter made her feel safe and wanted. Desired even.
I can’t have him.
“Hayden, I’m flattered by your offer, but you and I aren’t well-suited. For the time I’m here, I’d appreciate if you keep your distance.” Mila tore free of his hold and raced up the path. She didn’t stop until she was inside Aloe’s house, closed the door, and sank to the floor where she cried. She had lost Hayden before she had ever had him. She could never allow herself to get to know the shifter who had already found a place in her heart.
Chapter Six
HAYDEN
As Hayden listened to Damien talk about security adjustments and his meeting with Liam, his mind drifted to the beautiful Mila sitting across from him, between Anna and Tess. Blade paced while Pryce occupied one of the chairs opposite the sofa. Callen took up his usual perch, one foot flat against the wall, by the door. That was the enforcer in him, always ready even in the middle of their pack.
Hayden hadn’t expected Mila to be present, but Damien had asked her to report her progress to the group. Had she made progress already? It wouldn’t surprise him. She was wicked smart, like Anna. He shouldn’t be so out of the loop on anything involving the virus, but he had only himself to blame. He hadn’t talked to Mila in a week, since the day he had pinned Benji to the ground and put the assh
ole in his place.
She had followed Hayden home after that pitiful skirmish, to check on his wounds. At first, he had tried to turn her away, but even he could not ignore his desire to see her, touch her. He had thought she liked him, which is what made her request feel like a knife to his heart.
‘You and I aren’t well-suited. I’d appreciate if you keep your distance.’
What the fuck did that mean? Not well-suited. . . Fine, he’d give her some time and distance, let her get acclimated to the pack, to him even. He wasn’t walking away from her, however. He couldn’t.
Whenever they crossed paths, Hayden couldn’t stop his traitorous body from locking eyes with her, from leaning toward her. Mostly because he didn’t want to.
She, on the other hand, went out of her way to avoid talking to him. His friends had started to notice. Blade was giving him tense looks as if he thought Hayden should stay away from Mila while Damien kept nudging Hayden, pushing him toward Mila. Frank and Pryce, thankfully, minded their own business. Callen, too for that matter though he always seemed to be watching absorbing.
Now the group filled Damien’s living room, stuck until they finished discussing pack business. This was the closest Hayden had been to Mila without her heading in the opposite direction in a week. He wasn’t sure if he should strangle or thank Damien.
“Well, Hayden?” Damien asked.
Fuck. Hayden had been watching Mila’s dark tresses float across the back of the green silk top as she scooted over to give Tess a spot on the sofa. Mila’s bruises had disappeared—finally—and she was definitely more relaxed than she had been a week ago.
“Sorry, can you repeat the question?” Hayden replied. Mila raised a brow.
A reaction? Good. Perhaps this meeting would prove beneficial.
Hayden’s Haven Page 9
