“You’re mine, Mila. Mine alone,” he said as he pulled his hand out, shoved her panties to the side and thrust into her with such suddenness she dug her nails into his shoulders.
“That’s it, baby,” he said as he lifted her ass until he supported her weight and she locked her legs around his waist. “Mark me. Show Callen, Drake, the whole fucking world that I belong to you.”
He gave a particularly hard thrust that pinned her tight against the wall. She couldn’t move her hips, only take his thrusts. Her wolf didn’t want to challenge him or push him away, but to hold onto him tighter so he could never leave her again.
The moment he teased her back hole, the orgasm struck her hard. She clamped down around his cock, even as he thrusted into her one more time before holding still and emptying his semen into her. The warmth of his essence coating her channel as he held her ass spread wide and vulnerable felt primal and so very right. She was his.
His head fell forward against hers as he caught his breath. He hadn’t moved. His cock was still inside of her, and she wished he would stay there forever. Except she was living in a fantasy. She knew it the second he tapped her leg, asking her to unlock her ankles.
“Why don’t you see it, Mila?” he asked, his voice as soft as his fingertips on her arm.
He pulled out, and already she felt alone. Yet when she looked into his eyes, she saw something she had never seen before. Vulnerability.
“See what?” she asked, amazed, honored, that Hayden was finally opening himself to her in a way she thought he never would. Why hadn’t she just trusted him with the truth from the start?
“You said I’m not like them. No one else sees it, not like you do.”
Her heart sank. Her shifter really didn’t understand how he could be so loved. Even if he needed to hear it from her every day for the rest of her life, she’d tell him, over and over until he believed.
“You’re the only one who doesn’t see it, Hayden. Damien sees it. Callen, Frank, even Blade when he’s not busy worrying about Anna, sees it.”
Hayden chuckled though he shook his head. Black eyes looked up at the bowing ceiling, but he wasn’t looking at the ceiling. “I understand Blade now more than I ever did. I’m not sure we’ll be friends like before, but I respect that. He needs to protect Anna.”
“Not from you.” Mila pulled away, a stark truth hitting her. “You blame yourself for what happened to her? For what your brother did?”
“I delayed sending Blade to rescue Anna. This was before we knew Anna, not that that should have mattered, but perhaps it was a part of my decision. Tess had begged me to send in a team, and I hesitated. Damien had gone feral and I was having trouble controlling the pack. I was afraid to let Blade go, as I had so few shifters who supported me. I let fear of the situation, of what Drake would do if I sent a shifter into his territory, rule me.
“Talk about being a weak shifter, Mila. I was a weak shifter. I didn’t have the confidence or faith in my pack or myself. I wish you could see how very strong you are compared to me, compared to most, but you only see the one that makes shifting hard, slows your healing. That’s a matter of genes you can’t control and never had a say in. It is a part of you just like having beautiful green eyes, silky dark hair, and a smile that captivates anyone lucky enough to meet you. But it is not because of who you are, or anything you’ve done.
“You’re strong, Mila. Always have been, even if you don’t see it. You left your pack to get an education, which isn’t easy for any shifter in this country, and you did it without the support of family and pack.” He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to speak. “And before you say you were weak and let Vance walk all over you, just don’t. You got trapped, but you never gave up. You escaped him. Callen and I didn’t do that. We only escorted you and Kate the rest of the way to Damien’s pack. You escaped all on your own. Then, in the course of a few weeks, you endeared yourself to a new pack, something I haven’t been able to do in the eight years I’ve been there. You have a strength I lack, Mila, one that any shifter would envy.”
Mila stood there stunned. For despite how angry those scars down his chest and left arm appeared in the soft light from the fire, it was the scars on Hayden’s soul that kept him from moving forward. And yet it seemed there was nothing she could do to heal him. Black eyes swirled with the need for approval and forgiveness, and he was seeking it from her. She could not absolve him from what haunted him, she could only love and support him. She knew it wasn’t going to be enough. Sometimes a shifter had to find his own way through the darkness.
“Hayden. . .”
“Blood-bond me, Mila.”
The request stunned her. Her eyes left him, traveled the room before returning to his face. Her brave shifter who didn’t see his own worth waited quietly, patiently, but not calmly. An acerbic smell struck her nostrils, making her wolf howl at the foul smell. Fear. . . Hayden’s fear. She had never smelled fear from him before. He was no longer hiding behind that mask of his, and she wasn’t prepared for that, for any of this, let alone an offer of blood-bonding.
“I lied to you,” she said.
“You protected yourself.”
As if that made it okay. It didn’t. But he was right. She had done it to protect herself, to keep from losing him. What type of person was she if she had seen lying as her only option?
She wanted him, desperately, but this wasn’t about what she wanted, or even what Hayden thought he wanted. If she loved him, she’d give him what he needed, which was the truth.
It helped to know he loved her, but it didn’t solve the issue of what a blood-bond would do to him. It would weaken him, severely, and she wasn’t convinced he could live with that. Few strong shifters could.
“I’m sorry, Hayden. I can’t.”
His face fell, but he nodded, as if he understood. She wasn’t sure how when she didn’t even understand. Right or wrong though, it was the only answer. Too much had been taken from Hayden over the years. His birthright, his pack, his family, his reputation, and some of his friends, all through no actions of his own. She wouldn’t take his strength from him too, not when he had a long hard journey ahead of him.
Chapter Twenty
HAYDEN
Hayden glanced at Mila while Callen lit the mattress on fire on all corners and shut the door to the backroom. Now they waited. Mila met Hayden’s eyes with a smile. No longer did his brave ray of sunshine look at the floor or look away. Her face, the very way she carried herself, brimmed with confidence. This was not the same woman who smelled of death and wreaked of fear in a body bag early this morning. She knew who she was and what she wanted out of life. That didn’t include him.
He and his wolf had yet to come to terms with her refusal to blood-bond him. He was torn between wanting to respect her choice and insisting she listen to him, that he knew what was best for her, for them. To do so would make him no better than Vance, and he would never force Mila to do something she didn’t want.
She didn’t want him. He was damaged, a broken shifter, as broken as they come. It wasn’t her weak shifter abilities that would drag him down, as she had once said. It was his weak character, his inability to protect her and others from his brother and shifters like him. Hayden had failed to protect her, but he could not change the past. If it was the last thing he did, he would get Mila out of there. He would ensure her safety, at any cost.
“You run north, get out of the fray as fast as you can,” Hayden repeated the instructions he had gone over with her twice already. “If anyone catches you, don’t resist, unless you think you’re in mortal danger.”
“You’ll find me, right?” she said, her voice pitched slightly high. He hated that she had to go through this, that he had to send her into danger alone. She should be back at Aloe’s, or better yet his cabin, sitting by the fire, warm and happy. Instead, she was bruised, bloody, tired, and scared—and her journey home was far from over.
She flashed him a weak smile. Not once did she
complain or cry. His Mila was strong, so very strong.
“Callen will catch up to you as soon as he can.”
“And you, Hayden.” She looked worried, as if she suspected there was more going on than she had been told.
“As soon as I can.” It wasn’t a lie exactly, just not the full truth. While she had slept, he and Callen had talked. Hayden was the bait that would lead the guards away, giving Callen and Mila the chance to escape. It was Hayden that Drake really wanted. The guards would abandon pursuing Callen and Mila in favor of capturing Hayden.
“Hayden, you’ll be right behind me, right?”
Before he could reply, the fire thoroughly engulfed the ceiling, spreading through the cabin faster than expected. The dried-out wood structure was a tinderbox.
Guards didn’t rush in and there was no shouting outside. That was the first sign that nothing was going to go right that day. Had the guards left? It didn’t matter now, they had no choice but to flee. Callen charged out first, with Mila following behind and Hayden bringing up the rear.
What had been ten or twelve guards was now thirty, and they had completely surrounded the area. Drake stood in the center, arms crossed over his chest as he watched the cabin burn down. “Took you long enough, brother.”
They hadn’t heard anyone moving outside the entire time they’d been inside. He had been too lost in thought, too concerned over Mila.
“I thought I’d give you one last night to fuck the girl before I turned you over to Agent Sloan. Sounded like you enjoyed yourself. Or was it both you and your enforcer enjoying her? I hear she likes to be shared.”
Unless there was a formal challenge for the position of alpha, Hayden would not fight Drake. He certainly would not be goaded into a fight by Drake when the shifter he really wanted to tear into was standing a few feet off and behind Drake.
Hayden charged at Chitman, but he never got close as three guards wrestled him to the ground.
Drake squatted in front of Hayden. “I knew you couldn’t keep your word any more now than you could when we were kids.”
“I fought to get you back.”
“Fought? Hardly. You feared Logan, too afraid he’d strike you.”
“Or kill me.”
“Logan kill you? Hardly. You were no threat to him. Until you became greedy. Thought you’d have it all. Reina. The pack.” Drake’s large hand encircled Mila’s slim neck. He began squeezing, and Mila clutched at his hand. “Should I kill her like you killed Reina? Snap her neck?” Mila couldn’t even gasp for air. Drake was choking her.
“She’s innocent!”
“Reina was innocent too! Did you even give her a chance to plead for her life?”
“I didn’t kill her!”
Chitman stepped forward. “The DSA, Alpha. If you kill her, Hayden won’t confess when you hand him over to the DSA.”
“Take her,” Drake said as he shoved Mila at Chitman.
“Leave me alone!” Mila yelled as Chitman pulled her in tight against his chest. His hands roamed her body until they landed on her ass and kneaded her flesh. She tried to pull away, but he ground his cock against her.
Her terror sliced through Hayden, making his wolf howl inside and try to force a shift. Hayden pushed him down as he shouted at his brother. “Drake, let her and Callen go, and I’ll do anything. I swear, anything. I’ll claim to be you and confess to the bioterrorism. Or I’ll claim it in my name and say I was framing you. Whatever you want. Just let them go!”
Drake stood in front of him, blocking his view of Mila. “You’re weak, Hayden. Always have been.”
He had to keep Drake engaged. Play to his ego, make his brother hate and want to hurt him so badly that he’d agree to release Mila.
“Yes. I was weak. I am weak. Which is why I left you with Logan. It’s the reason I left ultimately.”
“Bullshit,” Drake said.
It was, but Hayden didn’t care about the truth right now, just like Drake had never cared about the truth.
“Drake,” Mila called. Chitman had released her. She was shaking as she walked toward Drake. What the hell was she up to?
“Mila,” Hayden called her name, adding a growl that told her to stay out of it, to stay clear of Drake.
“I challenge you, Drake!” Mila said.
“What?” Both Callen and Hayden said at the same time.
Drake looked amused as he turned to face her. “Challenge me for what? The right to be alpha.”
“Yes. There’s no law saying a female can’t be alpha.”
“Indeed not, though there should be. I hear you’re a weak shifter, doctor. And even a strong female would lose against the weakest of males. It’s nature. Remain quiet, and I might let you stay in my house tonight instead of whatever fleabag cabin Chitman plans to fuck you in,” Drake said as he turned away.
Mila froze, the terror showing on her face, and then she pressed forward, pushing away the horrors of her past. His Mila was so brave, but she didn’t understand the sick games his brother could play. Drake hadn’t always been that way. He had been a kind kid until Logan had gotten his claws into him, warping him, corrupting him. This shifter who looked so much like Hayden wasn’t the brother he had loved, that he had failed to save.
“Hey, I’m talking to you, asshole,” she said, hands on hips with a fire in her eyes that would get her killed.
“Mila!” Hayden yelled, trying to warn her back, to be quiet, anything but what she was doing.
Drake spun on his heels and surged toward her.
“She’s not challenging you, Drake,” Hayden yelled. “She doesn’t know what she’s saying. It’s not a true challenge. Mila, rescind the challenge now!”
Mila faced him finally. Beauty, strength, and resolve; that’s what he saw there. She was sacrificing herself for him.
“The DSA will kill you, Hayden. You need to follow Damien’s plan.”
He understood what she wanted him to do, but it wouldn’t work. As long as Drake had Mila, he had leverage over Hayden. He and Drake both knew it, but Mila didn’t understand. “The plan has changed, Mila. We have to hand over the HEV and the shifter responsible, or the government won’t back down. This is the only way.”
“They will KILL you, Hayden!”
Chitman. The damn shifter had done this. He had gotten her all worked up and now she was so terrified she didn’t know what she was doing. “You can’t accept a challenge from her, Drake,” Hayden turned back to his brother who’d been watching the exchange with a smirk on his face.
“You presume to tell me what I can’t do, Hayden? After all these years? After you betrayed Logan, me, our pack?”
“He didn’t betray anyone. Your fucking uncle’s the one who killed Reina,” Mila shouted.
“Mila, enough!” Hayden said. If Drake lost control, she was dead.
“What other lies have you been spreading?” Drake said as he shifted the claws of one hand and dragged them down Hayden’s chest, re-opening the wounds from eight years ago.
“Leave him alone,” Mila said, as her wolf growled loud and clear.
Sheer terror shot through Hayden. Mila’s wolf had openly growled at Drake. There was no way Drake’s wolf was going to ignore a challenge from another wolf, especially a female.
“It’s not a true challenge, Drake,” Hayden said as his brain frantically searched for an answer. “She’s not pack. Only pack can challenge.”
It was too late. The bones beneath Drake’s skin were already fluttering. “You dare growl at me, female? For once, my brother is correct. Only those of this pack have a right to challenge.”
“I mated your brother. I’m as much a part of this pack as you.”
“We’re not mated! We haven’t blood-bonded.”
Drake laughed. “You know a blood-bonding isn’t required. You screwed her. We all heard it. Proof enough. Welcome to my pack, doctor. And you’re right. A female has the right to challenge. I accept your challenge, doctor.”
Drake finally looked a
t Hayden, without a hint of sympathy in his eyes. “Sorry, brother, you have no choice but to watch me shred your mate to pieces.”
* * *
MILA
Hayden growled and surged forward. Had it not been for the three guards restraining him, Mila had no doubt he would have killed Drake when the alpha turned his back on him.
“You’re unfit to be alpha,” Hayden shouted. “I’m the true alpha here. I earned the position when I challenged and killed Logan. I’m reclaiming my birthright. Today. Now!” Hayden issued a growl of his own, louder, fiercer than any she’d ever heard before.
Mila hated manipulating the circumstances, forcing Hayden into challenging Drake. But it was the only chance he had. She couldn’t let him be carted off to the DSA and take the fall for Drake. Chitman’s plan had worked. He had said Hayden would issue a challenge to override her challenge.
“Ah, there’s the brother I remember. The one who likes to fight. I accept your challenge,” Drake said, in a mocking tone. “But you’ll have to wait your turn.”
Wait his turn? That was not how this was supposed to work. “I cede my turn to Hayden,” Mila said.
Drake was stalking toward her, claws on both hands still extended. Oh, God, oh, God, what had she done? Why wasn’t he listening? He was supposed to fight Hayden first, and then fight her if Hayden lost. But Hayden wouldn’t lose.
“You don’t get to choose the order of the challenges,” Drake said to her, pitch-black eyes revealing an emptiness she hadn’t seen before. “If anyone gets to choose, it’s the alpha.”
A large knot formed in Mila’s stomach. Chitman had tricked her. She had believed Chitman when he said she would be able to cede her turn. She had been so desperate to keep Hayden from walking to his death she had believed Chitman.
“And I choose to start with you, female,” Drake said as he grabbed Mila by the throat.
Hayden’s Haven Page 29
