“I’m doing well, thank you. It’s a little weird to be calling someone up for a blind date, but I did read through your profile, and I think we have a chance of a decent connection. At least we could enjoy a nice drink together, right?”
“Oh, okay,” I fumbled.
“Are you free on Saturday?”
“No,” I replied before I could stop myself.
My mother had always told me to deny a guy a date if he asked for a Saturday night with you right away. She always said, ‘no girl has Saturday night free on short notice if she has a life.’ She would tell me that same thing throughout high school and college. I hadn’t followed that rule in years because most guys didn’t bother actually asking me out for a real date.
“Okay, how about Friday night?”
“Sure,” I replied.
According to my mother’s advice, I probably should have said no to Friday as well, but I didn’t want to say no to him twice. Our date would likely be a disaster of me staring at him and him thinking I was a lunatic, but I was definitely going to go out with this guy.
“I’ll text you from my personal cell phone. Maybe we could talk a little this week?”
“Sure.”
“Would it be alright with you if I picked you up from your place around six on Friday?”
“Sure,” I replied again and realized I had said the same thing for every question he had asked me. “That would be fine. I’ll text you my address later this week. I mean after you text me from your phone. Since I don’t have your phone number or any way of reaching you,” I babbled on and on.
“You mean after you’re sure I am who I say I am?” He gave a deep laugh that sent tingles throughout my body. “I’ll send you a message shortly so you have my number.”
I felt my face flush with exhilaration as I held onto the phone and smiled at his laugh. Damn, he had a sexy laugh.
“Sure,” I jokingly replied again.
“Alright, I’m going to let you go. I’m sure you’re very busy. It was nice connecting with you, and I look forward to seeing you on Friday.”
“It was nice talking with you too, Merrick,” I said.
My heart was beating out of my chest as I hung up with Merrick and quickly dialed Beth to tell her all about what had just happened. In the span of ten minutes, I had insulted one of the sexiest men in New York and accepted a date from him. It was beyond unbelievable. I couldn’t even wrap my brain around it, and I knew Beth was going to totally freak out.
“So I have a date with Merrick Stanley this Friday night,” I yelled excitedly into Beth’s ear the second she answered the phone.
“Who’s that?”
“What? You don’t know who that is?”
“I’m joking! Who doesn’t know who Merrick is? He’s slept with every woman in the city. He’s deliciously handsome, and from what I hear, he’s really good in the sac.”
My heart sank at the visualization. I knew that any guy I dated was going to have a past, but I didn’t think I could get over a guy with a past like that. It scared me, right away. It was also a realization that I probably wasn’t the right girl for this guy. If he was used to dating models and socialites, I was going to be a huge disappointment for him.
“Oh.”
“No, I’m joking,” Beth said as she tried to cover her tracks. “I’ve actually met him before. He’s very handsome and extremely nice. He’s a tall drink of water and I guarantee you’re going to want to drink from him.”
“Did you sleep with him?” I ventured to ask as I laughed at her visualization of the man.
“No, I’m not really his type.”
“What kind of girl is his type?”
“I’m not sure. It’s been a year or so, but he notoriously dated …” she trailed off and then stopped talking. The phone was silent but I could hear her rustling around in the background.
“Who? What? Who did he date?”
“Okay, don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not sure. Maybe I just saw him with this type of girl, and there are many other women he dated. In fact, I’m sure he’s dated other women and not just redheads,” she said, and I practically heard her flinch through the phone.
“Redheads? Oh, come on? Is he a redhead fetish guy?”
“I don’t know for sure. He might just like all women, and I’ve only seen him with redheads? It’s possible I happened to see him only on the nights he had a redhead with him.”
“How many?”
“How many redheads have I seen him with?”
“Yeah. I mean one or two could just be a coincidence, but more than that is probably a fetish,” I flung my head into my hands and rested it on the table while I waited for her answer.
“Stop calling it a fetish. You like guys with brown hair; it’s not a fetish for you.”
“I don’t care what color hair a guy has. It just happens that most of the guys I actually date have brown hair.”
“My point exactly. It doesn’t matter what color hair anyone has. I mean even if I’ve seen him out with six or seven women with red hair. That doesn’t mean he has a fetish.”
“Seven women? Oh, Beth! That is a fetish for sure. Plus, I insulted him the first time I talked to him. This just isn’t looking good for me at all.”
“You insulted him?”
I couldn’t stop laughing as I thought about how badly this date was going to go. When he asked me where I worked, I’d have to give myself away, and he’d know I was the person who had called him a jerk, a self-absorbed jerk to be exact. He’d probably think I arranged the date somehow, and that I was playing some sort of trick on him. This was not looking good at all.
“In my defense, I didn’t know it was him when I insulted him. I actually called around and got the direct number to Mr. Stanley and was going to get him on our newsletter list so we could work on increasing our donations. Anyways, he was rude to me, and I was even ruder, but then he agreed to give me five minutes next Tuesday. It actually ended just fine.”
“Then he asked you out?”
“No, he didn’t know it was me when I called, and I didn’t know it was him. He ended up calling me just a few minutes ago after September showed me a picture of him, and I realized who he was.”
“Wow, you’re dating life is getting more confusing than my life for sure. Anyways, are you going out with him then?”
“Yeah, I agreed to go out on Friday. I’m not sure it will last long once he realizes who I am. It’s just a drink.”
I could barely pull my head off my desk as I looked around my bare office and thought about what fun it would have been to date a guy like Merrick. He probably traveled everywhere in the world. But he certainly wasn’t going to go for me after he realized I was the woman who had been rude to him on the phone.
“Don’t tell him!”
“Beth, I can’t just keep this to myself. I’m not going to lie to him. Eventually, he’s going to ask what I do for a living.”
“Okay, I don’t mean that you need to lie to him. Just use some creative truth telling. Like if he asks you what you do, tell him you work for a charity, and that’s it. Most guys won’t even bother asking you more. They never really care what we do for work, I should know.”
That was true. Beth was a cashier at a clothing store and still seemed to date perfectly respectable men. I had to agree that I didn’t think guys really cared what their ladies did for work. She had me feeling optimistic that I could get through at least the first date without a disaster and possibly without lying.
Chapter 5
Merrick
Talking to a girl on the phone before I even had a photo of her was beyond anything I was used to, but I wasn’t about to argue with Patty when she told me to call this girl. Patty seemed pretty good at her job from what I had heard, and I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.
After the previous dates I’d been on, I was confident that Patty had brought me a woman who was more exciting than the others. I certainly couldn’t imag
ine going out with another one of the women from the list I already had.
“So how’d it go?” Patty asked.
“Date Friday,” I said as I looked at Wyatt who was sitting on the couch across from my desk. Behind him was a tall shelf filled with all the awards that local charity organization had given me over the years. There were enough awards that the middle of the shelf was drooping and a flash of possible disaster crossed my mind’s eye as I imagined all the random awards toppling onto Wyatt’s head.
“I’ll send you her profile now and match the two of you through the online portal. Talk to her a little this week. Get to know her before your date; I think this process will work better for you than just going out with the women on your list.”
“I’ll give it a try, but I would have liked to have seen her before I called.”
“I know, but we don’t always get what we want. It’s my job to deliver you a woman that I think is perfect for you. It’s your job to let me do my job.”
I was humoring Patty that was for sure. I didn’t go on blind dates with women, and I definitely wasn’t used to asking a woman out before seeing her. I had a particular taste, and so far I had learned even when I thought I liked a woman based on her profile, it could turn out horribly wrong when I showed up for the date.
“I told you she was good,” Wyatt gloated as he sat on the couch not even aware of the dangerous image I had of the shelf toppling over on him.
“She scares me.”
“So you’ve got a date with this girl and no idea what she looks like? This should be fun for you.”
“No Wyatt, this sounds like a waste of my time. Patty is going to send the girl’s portfolio over online, though. So let’s see what she looks like. Any guesses? I’m not judgmental; really I’m not. She sounded nice, and I’m sure Patty found some similarities in our lifestyles, and that was why she matched us up.”
“Short with big boobs,” Wyatt laughed.
“I’m open to any type of woman,” I started to say before glancing at the profile Patty sent over. “Oh shit!”
“What? Let me see.”
“Wow, she’s a knockout,” I muttered quietly.
Kristina’s main photo was a full body shot of her in a tiny blue dress that had a flared skirt. She was thin with sexy curves and had blue matching hi-heels on. The picture looked like it might have been a professional photo because of how she was standing and the perfect coloring of her outfit, hair, and skin. She had a small smirk on her face, and I couldn’t help staring at her profile picture for a minute before diving into her main page.
“What does she do for work? How old is she?” Wyatt asked as he looked over my shoulder.
“Okay, here we go,” I clicked her page. “She’s thirty years old. A fundraising executive at a local non-profit. She’s funny; oh man, listen to this, ‘I’d like to get away from the cliché of loving New York Theater, but I just can’t. I love all the arts, even finger painting.’ I like her already.”
“Are there more pictures?” Wyatt asked as he pulled my laptop toward him.
“Hey, you’ve already got a woman. Get back,” I joked. “This one is off limits.”
“I know, I know. I’m just trying to help you out. You need an objective opinion so you know if she’s really as beautiful as you think she is.”
“Shit, look at these. I can’t go out with her,” I mumbled as I pushed my laptop all the way over to Wyatt and stopped reading the profile. “This is crazy. Look at her photos. Look at her profile. There is nothing wrong with her. Nothing.”
“Why can’t you go out with her? She’s stunning.”
“Exactly. This is exactly the girl I want. If I could have drawn a picture of the woman I had in my mind since I was a teenager, this girl would be her. Sexy, red hair, professional, funny, and smart. She’s the package, Wyatt.”
“I think I’m missing something. You’re obviously attracted to her. She seems funny, put together and perfect for you. What’s the issue?”
“Wyatt! I’m not put together. I joined this Millionaire Match thing thinking it would take me a few months to find the right woman. I would just have fun. Now Patty says I can’t screw these women unless I have a commitment, and she matches me up with what has to be my exact ideal of a woman. How can I not take this woman to bed?”
“You’re jumping ahead of yourself. Sure this girl looks good. But you don’t know if you’ll have that connection in person. Why not just go out and see how it goes. Plus, maybe you will have a connection, and you’ll want to commit to something more stable.”
“I can already see what’s going to happen. I’m going to screw her. Patty is going to kick me out. I’m going to go right back to dating wild women from the clubs. Let’s just skip past all of that. The other totally plausible option is that I’m not going to be what she’s looking for.”
Wyatt started laughing, closed my laptop and walked over to my desk. I was being serious, though. This Kristina girl and I were going to have chemistry; there was no denying that. I already felt like I wanted her after one conversation on the phone.
“There, I sent her a text message for you.” Wyatt laughed as he stood at my desk and put my cell phone back on the table.
“What?”
“This is her number on the paper here, right? I just sent her a text so she has your personal cell. Just in case she wants to talk to you this week. You and I both know you’re going to make that date on Friday. Whatever is going to happen will happen; I think you’re just nervous because you suck at dating.”
“I don’t suck at dating.”
“Yes, you do Merrick. I mean you’re good at getting laid, but you suck at actually dating a girl.”
“I’ve dated girls before.”
“Not really. You’ve kept women around for a couple of weeks after you screwed them, but that was just so you could keep screwing them. I mean real dating. Taking a girl to dinner, talking about her family, work, and likes; you don’t do that. Getting to know them and letting them get to know you, that’s real dating.”
“You’re awfully judgmental now that you’ve found your woman.”
“I know. I’m turning into one of those old men who just try to get all their friends to get married so I have people to hang out with.”
“I’m not getting married. Remember, replace the R in Rock with a C, that’s the kind of woman I want to hang out with,” I laughed.
“Ha, I think you will someday. You’re going to find a woman that you’ll be dying to give a big rock to. There will be a woman you meet that you just can’t let go of. The thought of her sleeping with another man will destroy you. The idea of her moving on with her life and you not being in it will be an impossibility. You’ll meet her someday; I promise you.”
“Wow, you sound like a love struck puppy. I really never thought Dakota had you this far wrapped around her finger,” I laughed as I heard the sound of a text message coming in on my phone.
KRISTINA: Hey, It was nice talking to you, too. Patty still hasn’t sent me your profile, though. So I’m picturing you as George Costanza from Seinfeld.
“What did she say?” Wyatt asked. “She text you back already didn’t she?”
“How do you know it’s her?” I had only looked at my phone, and that was it. I didn’t tell him someone had text me. It could have been an alert from one of my social media apps or something like that.
“Because you’re smiling like a schoolboy.”
“I’m not doing this now. Don’t you have work to do? Get back to work,” I said as I pointed to the door, and Wyatt got up to leave my office. “I’ll talk to you later this week.”
“Fine, but be nice to this one. I’ve got a good feeling about her.”
“That’s the problem; so do I.”
I waited for Wyatt to leave my office before returning Kristina’s text message. I typed and then erased my typing a couple of times before I finally settled on a message to send back. I did feel like a school kid. Most of
my adult life, I had met women at bars or events. I watched them and decided which one I liked, and then moved in for the kill. This was an entirely new and different feeling. It was exhilarating to talk to a woman who I hadn’t actually met in person yet.
MERRICK: A little lighter brown for the hair ;)
KRISTINA: Just as bald, though?
MERRICK: Maybe. I’m having fun with the idea that you don’t know what I look like. You actually agreed to go out with me without having an idea?
KRISTINA: Patty matched us up. I think she has good taste. Should I have trusted her?
MERRICK: I paid her a lot of money to match me up. Us bald guys are hard to get dates for. I’m glad you said yes.
I couldn’t help keeping the joke going for a little bit. I was probably the exact opposite of the Seinfeld character, but it was fun to play with her. I couldn’t wait to lay eyes on her Friday, though, and found myself sitting and staring at my phone while I waited for her to respond back to me.
A good twenty minutes went by before I returned to work and had to assume she was busy with her own job. I had never been one of those people who sat and waited for a return message; the twenty minutes I had already put in was long enough for me. She’d message me back when she had more time; I was confident of that.
KRISTINA: Sorry, I’m busy working today. Text me again another time. Here’s my address for Friday. 815 South 5th Street. I’ll meet you downstairs at 6 p.m.
MERRICK: Sounds good. Have a good day.
For the rest of the week, I wrestled with the idea of texting Kristina back again but didn’t think it was a good idea. It was funny that she thought I looked like the bald, fat character off of Seinfeld, although I was sure Patty had given her my profile by the time Friday came around.
Most women I’d known were constantly texting me. It was me who didn’t return their messages. I was the one who blew them off or forgot to respond. It didn’t feel right having the roles a little reversed. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on Kristina, though, and I finally caved in and sent her a message Friday morning.
His Huge Rock Page 34
