by Jack Parker
So she lay there, miserably, for the rest of the night, drowning in guilt and self-pity. She'd managed to get herself into this awful mess and there was no one to blame but herself. Now she had to live with it.
* * *
"I can't do this," Robin said quietly. He sat on the bed where he'd shared a night of intimacy with Kim the night before, the brandy bottle in his hands. He stared at Simon's photograph on the wall. "I can't be in this limbo. Like the situation isn't hard enough." He shook his head. "Now she wants some time apart. I guess that means she's made her decision." He closed his eyes. "I could never come above her children, anyway. I know that. She'd always choose her family over me, even if her marriage is making her unhappy."
He knew he'd been talking to Simon's photo far too much lately. He was probably going crazy. But it was a comfort. It was the closest thing he had to talking to Simon.
"I wish I knew what you were doing," he whispered, "I wish I knew if you were OK. I worry. I worry about you and how you're coping over there. You know how much I want to be with you, Simon…" he trailed off as a lump formed in his throat and he looked away. Even though it was just a photo he couldn't look it in the eye any longer as he mentally added, 'But I want to be here, with Kim, too.'
His choice might not have been as straightforward, nor as hard, as Kim's to make but it was still killing him inside. Just because Simon wasn't there in the flesh didn't mean that the ring on Robin's finger meant nothing to him. He closed his eyes and wished that he could turn back the clock, righty back to the day he arrived at Kim's tattoo studio and asked if anyone would tattoo his police dogs. If only he'd skipped that one, never met her again, none of this would be happening.
* * *
Kim noticed something strange happening over the following week. While she struggled to stay away from Robin and fight the urge to call him or text him she found Linda being nicer to her. It confused her greatly at first, then she realised that Linda was mistaking her not spending time with Robin for making more of an effort in their relationship. Kim started to feel even worse about that. That wasn't her attention. Just spending more evenings sitting by Linda watching the same old crap in TV didn't really constitute 'making an effort', but it seemed that's how Linda felt. Kim's guilt left her with no choice but to try to fulfil the role that Linda believed she was carving out for herself, trying to be a good wife, taking care of her family, working hard, spending more time with them all. In one sense it alleviated a little of her guilt but in another she knew that the situation wasn't changing, Even on a more civil level Kim still didn't feel strongly enough for Linda. Her feelings hadn't changed.
Still, the lack of insults, the lack of comments about Kim's weight, hair, manners and personality were a blessed relief and as long as they were staying away then Kim could lead a more peaceful existence. And for the first nine or ten days after her talk with Robin in the café things started to become better and more peaceful at home.
Then, things started happening.
* * *
It was almost exactly two weeks after Robin and Kim had held their last conversation that Robin knew they would have to see each other. Both called as witnesses for the prosecution in Evan's trial, they were bound to meet in court. That thought terrified Robin. It had taken all his willpower not to call Kim or contact her at all.
He saw her outside the courthouse, just briefly. Her appearance concerned him. She looked so pale and drawn, her hair was flat and lifeless. He worried that she might be ill or that something awful had happened but she was too far away to ask. It gave him a sinking feeling in his chest that he couldn't shake away and before he knew it he'd been called up by the prosecution anyway and wouldn't have a chance to track her down and see how she was doing.
* * *
"Could you tell the court what happened on the night in question?"
Robin had been in court many times in his life but never under these kind of circumstances. He glanced across at Evan. His beard was neatly trimmed and he looked as smart as always but his skin was almost grey. He looked terrified and Robin couldn't blame him.
"We'd gone back to the Falcon Building to see if we could find any trace of Layton staying there," he began. He spoke clearly and confidently. The night was forever engrained upon his memory. "We found him and chased him up to the roof. He called Evan from his mobile phone. Told him to get to the building. When Evan arrived he told him to tell Alex the truth about everything, otherwise he'd expose his secrets to the press. His career as a beard model would be in tatters."
"What about his law career?"
"Oh, no one cares about that," Robin waved his hand dismissively.
The courtroom muttered in agreement.
"So, when Mister White arrived, what happened next?"
Robin took a deep breath.
"He admitted that he'd had an affair with Alex's mother. Caroline Price. Her father couldn't handle it. He asked Layton to build a car bomb to kill himself, his wife and his daughter. Evan covered up for this all through Alex's life. She never knew."
The lawyer nodded.
"Did Evan reveal any more secrets?" he prompted.
"Yes," Robin began, his anger boiling. His eyes turned angrily to Evan. "his refusal to take Layton's threats and blackmail seriously led to Alex's shooting. He saw her shot rather than admit the truth." He saw Evan's eyes turn downward.
"What happened next, Mister Thomas?"
"Two men came up on the roof," he said, "Nick Nailer sent them after Layton."
"And how would Nick Nailer have known where Layton would be?"
Robin took a deep breath.
"Because Evan was with Nailer at hospital when he received Layton's call," he said angrily.
"What happened after the two men arrived?"
"Layton shot them," said Robin, "and he fled from the building, shooting…" he flinched, a sharp memory of Layton aiming the gun in his direction filling his mind. It struck him dumb for a second. He felt woozy, replaying the moment the bullet passed right through him and struck Kim in the neck. Suddenly he felt very unwell indeed.
"Mister Thomas?" the solicitor was saying his name. He tried to pull himself out of the moment.
"Hmm."
"Do you need a glass of water?" the solicitor asked.
Robin shook his head. He swallowed.
"He shot Kim, then he continued to run. Evan's car was waiting outside, doors open, keys in the ignition. Alex and I followed him but the car spun out of control."
"Your car?"
"No, his. Layton's." he paused, "Evan's."
The solicitor nodded
"We have already heard evidence from the experts who examined the car," he began, "the brake line had been cut. In your opinion, what happened during the time between Layton making the call to Mister White and the moment the car went out of control?"
Robin took a deep breath.
"It is my opinion, " he began, staring at Evan, "that Mister White asked Nick Nailer to deal with Arthur Layton and that Nailer arranged for his men to cut the brakes on Evan's car. Evan left the car open and ready for Layton to take, knowing he could run."
The solicitor nodded.
"No further questions, he said.
Robin beathed deeply as the solicitor moved away and the lawyer for the defence came forward.
"Mister Thomas," he began, "how long have you known Evan White?"
"Not long," said Robin, "about a year."
"How did you meet him?"
"It was when Simon saved Alex's life in hospital," said Robin.
"Simon is…?"
"My boyfriend," Robin's voice wobbled a little.
"But Simon is no longer with us, is that right?"
Robin felt his eyes tearing up. He wasn't expecting the questioning to go down this route.
"Yes, that's right," he whispered.
"He died last October in a car accident," the lawyer studied his notes, "and you were driving. Right?"
Robin flinched.
>
"Yes."
"There was a court case, wasn't there?"
Robin felt weak.
"Yes, there was."
"Can you tell the court who represented you?"
Robin swallowed.
"Evan White," he whispered.
The lawyer nodded.
"And what fee did he charge you for this?"
Robin looked down.
"He didn't charge me," he whispered.
"Can you please repeat that a little louder?"
"He didn't charge me a fee," Robin repeated.
The lawyer started to look smug.
"Why do you think he represented you for free?" he asked.
Robin hesitated.
"Probably out of thanks for Simon saving Alex," he said quietly.
The lawyer smiled.
"So the dedicated godfather who brought up Alex through her childhood showed his gratitude for your late boyfriend saving her life by representing you for no fee," he said. He turned to the rest of the courtroom. "Doesn't sound like the behaviour of a man who would willingly put her life at risk by meddling with the criminal underworld," he said. He turned back to Robin. "Now, let's go back to… Simon, was it? Saving Alex. How did he happen to be in her room at the time the attack took place?"
Robin bit his lip.
"He was visiting her," he said.
"What was the nature of his relationship with Ms Drake?"
"They were friends. Colleagues."
"So they met at work?"
Robin nodded.
"Yes."
"And yet there is no record of Alex Drake ever having worked with Simon Shoebury, nor working anywhere that she may have met him."
Robin swallowed. He hadn't expected that line of questioning. He couldn't exactly explain any better than that.
"They may have met on a case," he said feebly.
"Cross-referencing both their cases, Simon and Alex did not appear to have met," said the lawyer. He turned to another page of notes. "Now, in the aftermath of Simon saving Alex, how did Evan repay you both?"
Robin sighed a little.
"He invited us to a few parties," he said, "that's all."
"A few parties," The lawyer repeated, "Mister White had provided us with the dates and details of over twenty five occasions on which you attended social events with him, sometimes with his goddaughter, Alex Drake's daughter, Molly present too."
Robin hesitated. This didn't seem to be going anywhere.
"I didn't go to all of them," he said quietly, "Simon knew him better than I did."
"When Alex woke from her coma on New Year 's Day, who was the first person he called?"
Robin swallowed.
"It… it was me, I think," he frowned.
"And yet you didn't know him very well?" the solicitor smiled, "and you had never met Alex at all. Am I right?"
Robin swallowed.
"Uh…"
"In the police reports following the death of DCI James Keats in Alex Drake's hospital room you claim to have never met Alex, yet after Layton's crash in your statements you describe her as a close friend." The lawyer saw him lost for words. "And in the months after your accident, the accident which killed your boyfriend, you spent hours sitting beside her bed." He took it a step further. "When Alex Drake awoke from her coma she was confused. When she wandered away from home, where did she go?"
Robin swallowed.
"She did not wander away from home, "he said crossly, "she had to escape because Evan was threatening to have her sectioned.
"Where did she go, Mister Thomas? Answer the question, please."
Robin closed to his eyes.
"She came to me," he whispered.
"She came to you, despite you allegedly not knowing her," said the lawyer. He paused as he saw Robin lost for words. Every time he stumped him he knew he was a step closer to discrediting him. He had one more gem for Robin though. "Last question, Mister Thomas. Evan asked you not to visit Alex in hospital. Is that correct?"
"Yes, he was trying to keep anyone with knowledge of Layton –" he began but the Lawyer cut him off.
"Yes or no?"
Robin scowled.
"Yes."
"But you went against his expressed wishes and visited Alex. Didn't you?"
Robin bit his lip.
"Evan was being secretive. I wanted to see if she was OK."
"Didn't you?"
Robin looked down.
"Yes.
"What happened when you visited Alex, Mister Thomas?"
Robin breathed deeply. He closed his eyes.
"She had some kind of seizure," he whispered.
"The hospital records describe it as an event brought on by stress," said the Lawyer, "brought on by your appearance. Is that correct?"
Robin bit his lip.
"It could have happened any time," he whispered.
"No further questions."
Robin felt as though his heart had been cut out and hung up to dry as he stepped down. The lawyer had pretty much torn him to shreds and made him sound like an idiot and a liar. He closed his eyes as he thought about the fact that Kim still had all of this to come and she was already looking delicate enough. This was the most trying day Robin had known in a very long time – and he wasn't even the one in the dock.
Chapter Twenty-One
The haunted look on Robin's face caused Kim more alarm than she realised it was possible to feel and despite her self-imposed rules she couldn't stop herself from rushing to his side.
"Rob?" she said quickly.
Robin glanced at her, surprised to see her at all, let alone talking to him.
"Kim," his voice was breathy, his heart racing from the sight of her face.
"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly, "was it that bad? You look terrible."
Robin hadn't even taken in her question. He was far too concerned by her own drawn appearance.
"Kim, you look awful," he blurted.
"Thanks a lot."
"I mean, are you OK?" he looked at her anxiously, "what's the matter?"
Kim shook her head a little.
"Fine," she said, "shit, Rob, you really look bad."
"Bloody mutual appreciation society," mumbled Robin. He caught Kim's eye and despite everything both gave a tiny smile. Oh, that was good. That was so good. Robin closed his eyes. "Kim, I miss you," he whispered.
"Rob, this isn't the time," Kim hissed, feeling uncomfortable.
"Please," Robin couldn't stop the words from coming out, "can I see you? Properly? I can't do this any more."
"Robin," Kim began, her face fraught with worry and her mouth open, words threatening to come forth but before they had a chance a voice called,
"Kimberley Stringer."
Kim froze. She closed her eyes and gave a sigh.
"My turn," she whispered.
"Kim, please –" Robin began but the name called her again.
"I've got to go," Kim whispered, her heart aching at the thought of walking away, "I'm sorry, Rob."
"Kim…" Robin called as she turned and walked away.
She didn't dare look back. She couldn't. Otherwise she might never get into the courtroom and end up charged with contempt of court. She forced herself to move forward and to concentrate on the task ahead. If she thought about Robin she would only fall apart, and this really wouldn't be a good time for the tears to start falling.
* * *
"Can you describe Mr White's mental state when he arrived on the roof?"
Kim took a deep breath. She gripped the stand as her head spun a little. This really wasn't a good day for standing for long periods of time. Or having to look at Evan's beard.
"He was desperate," she said, "he was a man on the edge. He was on the verge of losing everything."
"In your opinion, would you say that Evan was capable of rational thought by this point?"
Kim shook her head.
"No."
"Do you feel that he may have been capable of making
decisions that he wouldn't have made under any other circumstances?"
Kim hesitated.
"I think," she said, "that he would have done anything to stop the truth coming out by that point. He would have made any decision if it led to Layton's demise."
The lawyer nodded.
"No further questions," he said.
Kim shuddered a little as the lawyer for the defence approached. She recalled Robin's haunted expression. She wasn't looking forward to this.
"Ms Stringer," he began, "prior to the incident on the roof top had you met Mister White before?"
"No, I hadn't."
"So you have no baseline of behaviour to compare?"
"No."
"So how can you judge whether he was, as you say, a man on the edge if you don't know what he is naturally like?"
Kim took a deep breath.
"I know the difference between someone who is just having a bad day and someone whose life is falling apart," she said.
"How did you come to be involved in the rooftop confrontation?"
"Alex and Robin asked me for help."
"Yes, now, where exactly did you meet Alex?"
Kim hesitated.
"At work," she said.
"You… left your job as a detective sergeant in two thousand and three, is that right?"
Kim hesitated.
"Yes."
"Leaving very little crossover in which you and Ms Drake could have met," he said, "in fact, we can find no record of you working together."
Kim bit her lip.
"Must have met at a conference then," she said quietly.
"And Robin Thomas," the lawyer continued, "how did you meet him?"
Kim took a deep breath.
"I…" she had no idea what to say. "I think we met at the tattoo studio," she said.
"Ahh yes,that brings us to Mister Thomas's desire to tattoo his police dogs…"
"That was a personal joke," Kim said tightly, "the media blew that out of all proportion."
"Objection," the prosecution's lawyer cried, "this had no bearing on the case."
"Your honour, I am merely trying to establish the mental standing of two of the main witnesses."
