“Tell them whatever you want.”
Of course he would trust her with all of his secrets, the things that would change how her family regarded him. It was a heavy weight to bear. She hoped she deserved it.
They stared at each other, Clay’s gaze filled with so much love and acceptance, while negativity and anger radiated from her brother. How did she make them see her husband the way she did?
She took a deep breath and turned her attention to the couple across from them. “I don’t know where to start.”
Did she explain what they’d seen?
Or did she give them the full BDSM 101 lesson?
“Is he hitting you?”
Her chin dropped. “Clay?”
Jason jabbed a finger at her husband. “If you hurt her—”
Her mouth snapped shut with an audible click. “No, you have it wrong. Clay would never hurt me. I’m trying to explain and I don’t know how.”
“You’ve got to tell me something.” Her brother raked a hand through his hair and leaned forward on his elbows.
“Okay, when you were younger and Michael, Kevin and you watched porn, did you ever watch BDSM stuff?”
Jason flushed and sputtered, denial on his lips.
She shook her head. “Just yes or no.”
“You aren’t seriously into that stuff?” His face flushed pink. This was not an average topic for siblings.
“Porn and real life are different things, genius. I’m trying to get a starting point, and I’m doing a shitty job. Okay, so you know kind of what it is. And yes, that is what I’m saying we’re into.”
“He ties you up?”
She buried her face in her hands. Did she really need to say this out loud?
“No, I tie him up. God, this is embarrassing.”
“I don’t even understand how you can do something like that. What happened to you?”
The hurt and confused expression on Jason’s face was killing her. A knife to the heart might have felt more pleasant than feeling her relationship with her brother crumbling.
“I’m still your sister. You never knew me because you never stopped to listen.”
Jason turned his attention to Clay, his gaze raking over her husband, evaluating him in a new light. “I don’t get it. Why?”
Clay merely shrugged. “Because this was how I was born. It’s not wrong, it’s just different.”
Jason shook his head and turned away from them. For several long moments no one spoke. Finally he turned back to face them, his features tense. “Can you explain it to me from the beginning? I’m trying to wrap my head around it, and I just can’t.”
She sucked in a deep breath. If any of her family could accept her differences, she’d always thought it would be Jason. “You mean explain BDSM from the beginning or how I got into it?”
“I get what BDSM is. I’m more interested in who did this to you.”
It clicked.
Jason thought someone had hurt her or made her become a Dominant. He didn’t understand it was something she’d been born with.
“No one did this to me. It’s the way I am, and you never noticed it because between you three, I’m always drowned out. Why do you think I always dated guys I could boss around?”
That seemed to give her brother pause. “You did always date some pretty wussy guys.”
She snorted. She hadn’t known what she was then, but she knew now. The hallmarks had been there though. Oh the things she would like to tell a younger, naïve her. Jason’s chuckle surprised her. If he was showing some humor, was it a good indication things were going well?
He relaxed a little, the frown smoothing out into a more pleasant expression. One she might even call curious. “So how did you get to this?”
“Oh god.” She groaned into her palm. “Are you sure you want to know about this? It’s serious TMI.”
“Yeah, skip the parts I don’t want to know about.”
“How do I skip parts?” She scrubbed a hand over her face and sighed. She wasn’t a prude by any stretch of the word, but this was her brother. Where to begin? “The kind of guys I dated in college and after getting out were the kind who, one way or another, would find their way into a relationship like ours. Eventually I found someone who had some—experience. We had some almost—accidents—and he suggested I take classes.” It was a nice way of saying she needed training, but she left out those particulars. There were some things her brother didn’t need to know.
Jason turned to Clay. “How did you two actually meet? I don’t buy that pizza mix-up story.”
Clay slanted a look her way and squeezed her hand. “I was in an abusive relationship with a woman. A nonsexual relationship. Bianca stepped in when some things went too far in a public setting. We were, friends, after that while I got my shit together. We took things very slow because I wasn’t capable of handling a relationship.”
It was a nice way of saying she’d become his protector, accepting him as her responsibility and giving him parameters within which to grow. There hadn’t been any sex in the beginning. Not for a long time. Any sane Dominant would not have taken Clay on. It was every bad situation rolled into one, a spiteful ex, abuse, a shattered submissive and so many other red flags. Yet the first time she’d bumped into Clay in a hallway and peered into his eyes, she’d known he was made out of stronger stuff. She’d wanted him to overcome the odds, and for that she’d been willing to take a bullet. She’d never guessed that they would be more than friends after he got his shit together.
Jason brought her back to the present by waving his hand. “I’m turning into a broken record here, but I don’t get it.”
“I naturally prefer a more dominant woman.”
“I don’t know if I can accept this.”
“You don’t have to. It’s not your way of life.”
Amy cleared her throat. “How does it work? Like, do you tell him what to do all the time? Or is this a—a bedroom thing?” Her face took on a pale shade of pink.
Bianca shook her head. “No, we aren’t really a twenty-four-seven couple like that.”
“A what?” Amy blinked at her.
Bianca wanted to smack her forehead on the table. This wasn’t going well.
“There are couples who are Dominant and submissive twenty-four hours a day. We’re not. In our relationship, sure, I’m the aggressor most of the time. But otherwise, it’s a balancing act.”
Clay leaned forward, drawing everyone’s gaze. “In most things I let B take the lead. That’s what she’s comfortable doing and I like supporting her. But things like our finances, for example, I handle those. We’re like you, but a little more adventurous.”
Jason shook his head. “I wouldn’t do any of the shit you do. I need to get out of here. I can’t handle any more of this.” He pushed to his feet, pulling his wife with him. “Come on, Amy.”
“But Jason—”
Whatever he said in reply was spoken too low for Bianca to hear as they threaded their way between the tables, leaving her and Clay to wonder what had just happened.
* * * * *
Clay brushed Bianca’s hair over her shoulder and kissed her temple, offering her silent comfort. The subway car was mostly empty. The other passengers ignored them, more interested in their phones or gazing out the windows.
They’d left the café no closer to coming to an agreement about what to do with her brother. Too distressed to go back to the apartment, he and Bianca had taken a walk up and down the Boulevard de Clichy. They hadn’t spoken, but she seemed to have worked some of the tension out.
Bianca sighed loudly and leaned against his shoulder. She looped an arm around his elbow and snuggled close.
“How you doing?” he asked. Truth be told, he could live without her family’s approval. He’d never had anyone else before Bianca, so he wouldn’t miss them. But she was different. As much as she griped and complained about her family, she loved each one.
“I’m…anxious.”
“Und
erstandable.”
She turned to face him, her brow creased with worry. “I never wanted to have that conversation with anyone in my family. Now I just hope he can accept me. What if he tells Mom and Dad?” She groaned and buried her face against his shoulder.
“We’ll handle it.” Big words when he had no idea what could fix this.
“It was so stupid of me to think they’d all left. I should have known Jason would wait on us at least.”
“You are not stupid. You’re human.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, tucking her snugly against his side. She might be his Mistress, but he’d protect her with everything in him if he needed to, even if that meant from her family.
“Is this our stop coming up?” she mumbled against his shoulder.
“No idea. I think so.”
“Sorry about your phone. We’ll get it replaced when we get home. I didn’t ask if you got a hold of the credit card people.”
“I did, it’s all taken care of. Don’t worry about it.”
She tilted her head up and rested her chin on his shoulder. One corner of her mouth lifted and she slid a hand between his back and the seat, dipping her fingers into the waistband of his jeans. “How you feeling?”
He nudged her nose with his. He’d been worried she wouldn’t smile, and here she surprised him. She was fucking amazing. “Ready for you.”
Her smile widened with wicked intent. “Our stop.”
The train eased into the station. Bianca got to her feet, smoothing her skirt over her hips. He hadn’t noticed earlier, but he didn’t see a panty line. Was she wearing one of those barely there thongs? He had a problem with snapping the flimsy strings during play, but B bought lingerie like most people bought milk. What were the chances she wasn’t wearing anything under her skirt? She killed him some days at work by texting that she wasn’t wearing underwear. That made it very difficult to concentrate at times.
Right now, for example.
Bianca stood at the doors, her finger crooked and grinning at him.
He pushed to his feet and adjusted his cock behind the relative safety of the seat back before following B through the doors and out onto the platform. She shoved her hands into her jacket pockets before he could claim one and studied him from the corner of her eye.
They climbed the stairs up to the sidewalk and strolled along the wide avenue toward their street. The street lamps were all ornamental, with opaque globes illuminating the sidewalk. He still couldn’t believe he was actually in Paris. With the trees, cobblestone road and stylish buildings, it felt more like a movie set than real life.
If he could send a postcard to the Clay of ten years ago from Paris, he wouldn’t believe that this was his future. Kids who grew up as he did, abandoned by their mother and with a father in the state pen, didn’t get lives like this. He’d thought he made it when he finished school and kissed his construction job goodbye.
Then Bianca stepped into his life and made his world even better.
She strode ahead of him and twirled around the lamppost on the corner. “I feel like I need an umbrella and a chorus line.”
“I think Singing in the Rain was set in L.A.”
She mock scowled at him. “You know what I mean.”
He paused at the lamppost, close enough her hair brushed his chest. She tilted her head and gazed up at him, the worry and anxiety gone. In fact, her smile was spreading as though it were an infectious disease and he couldn’t help returning it.
“We won today,” she said quietly.
“We did.”
“We’re in Paris.”
“We are.”
“Kiss me.”
“Gladly.”
He cupped the back of her head and lowered his mouth to hers. She opened for him immediately and transferred her hand from the pole to his chest, sliding under his jacket to lie over his heart. He stepped toward her, bringing their bodies into line, and rested a hand at the small of her back.
She moaned into his mouth and grabbed his ass, driving her nails into the meaty flesh. The plug shifted, reminding him of its cool presence. Her thumb found the head of the plug and pressed it deeper, rubbing against nerves. His cock jerked to attention and his balls ached from the prolonged state of arousal.
Bianca stepped back, panting for breath. “Let’s go home.”
“Yes Ma’am.” He slung an arm across her shoulders and adjusted himself.
“How hard are you?”
“Hard.”
“Good.”
They strode toward the apartment building and were buzzed in by an attendant. He had to wonder if Jason and Amy were already here, and what they’d told the rest of the family, if anything. He would like to be part of their extended family dynamic, but if all he got was Bianca, he was a happy man.
The apartment was silent, all the lights out when they entered. He glanced at the wall clock, shocked to see they were into the early morning hours. He hadn’t thought they’d stayed out so late, not that his biological clock was any good after the time change and nap. Without his phone he was handicapped.
He took Bianca’s jacket and hung it in the coat closet next to his. “I guess everyone’s asleep?”
“I guess so.” She muffled a giggle. “Who would have thought we would be the party animals of the group?”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
“I’m going to grab some water.”
He followed her into the kitchen and took down two glasses while B grabbed a gallon of water from the fridge.
“Hey, you two made it back finally.”
Clay turned toward the doorway to find Jason and Amy already changed into pajamas, complete with the matching pants and button-up shirt sets. He took one look at the his-and-hers blue and pink striped suits and promised that nothing like that would ever take up residence in his house. He’d double Bianca’s lingerie budget before she bought one of those.
“Yeah, we took a walk around. How long have you guys been back?” Bianca asked innocently enough. If she was nervous, he couldn’t tell.
“We came right back,” Amy offered.
His brother- and sister-in-law entered the kitchen and leaned against the cabinets, Jason’s arm around Amy’s waist in a display of solidarity. They glanced at each other, but for a moment neither would acknowledge them.
Clay slanted his gaze toward his wife, but she merely shrugged.
“Look,” Jason began and stopped.
Bianca slung an arm around his waist and leaned her head against his shoulder. They were in this together.
Jason took a deep breath and tried again. “We wanted to say that we don’t have to understand what you’re into; so long as you’re safe and happy, we’re happy for you.”
There was a beat of silence.
That was not what Clay had expected them to say.
“Thank you. That means a lot to us,” Bianca said.
B crossed to the couple and hugged Jason. She was dwarfed by her brother, so tiny in comparison. Almost childlike in size. She turned to Amy and hugged her too. Clay wasn’t sure what to do. He wasn’t at ease and, while blood was thicker than water, all he had binding him to the family was a piece of paper and Bianca.
Jason stepped toward him and extended his hand. Surprised by the gesture, he jerked forward to accept.
“Do you think we can not tell the others about this?” Bianca chuckled nervously.
Jason’s gaze widened. “No way. I’m not telling them anything. Can you imagine what Michael and Kevin would say?”
She buried her face in her hands and laughed. Whatever she found funny had to be genetic because Jason was the only one who joined her laughing. They wiped tears away and darted glances at each other, sharing some sibling bond he didn’t have. Finally they sobered enough to stand upright, and his brother-in-law turned toward him.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?” Jason asked.
He glanced at Bianca and Amy over his shoulder. “Sure. Give us a minute?”
At his wedding, each brother had taken him aside and issued threats or tried to intimidate him in the name of looking out for their sister’s interests. Where those confrontations had been seriousness bracketed with humor, Jason’s face remained lined with concern.
Bianca and Amy left them, disappearing through the sitting room and down the hallway toward their rooms.
He leaned against the counter, hands braced on the edge and waited for Jason to speak his mind. His brother-in-law crossed to the other side and propped his hip against the kitchen island, in no hurry to begin speaking.
“I’m going to be okay not understanding what you two do in the bedroom. It’s your business, and as long as you two are happy, I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, I know that means a lot to Bianca.”
“Promise me that you’ll never hurt her. If you hurt her, you have to know me, my brothers, my whole family will be on you. She’s the only girl in our family. All our cousins are guys and we’re protective of her, whether she needs us or not.”
He nodded, able to appreciate the sentiment. “I’d never hurt your sister. Understand that. I’d do anything for her.”
“Good. Don’t change that. We don’t know each other very well, and I do want to change that.”
Was he really having The Relationship Talk with his brother-in-law?
“Yeah, I think B would like that. Let us know about that cruise you were talking about.”
Jason continued to stare at him. Clay could see unanswered questions boiling around the man’s mind. He sighed and scrubbed a hand across his jaw.
“Is there something else you wanted to get off your chest?” he asked his brother-in-law.
Jason sighed. “I don’t understand. I want to know why, and I don’t.”
With another sub, the answers were easy, but with someone unrelated to his lifestyle and an important person to his wife, it was more difficult. He gestured toward the living room. “Why don’t we have a seat and I’ll try to explain.”
They took their drinks to the ornate sofas that were more beautiful than comfortable and settled each on their own piece of furniture. The plug nudged hidden nerves and he shifted, wishing he hadn’t suggested relocating after all. Clay bought a moment by taking a deep drink of water.
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