by Karen King
‘Let me tell you a bit more about it. I realise it’s a big step but I can only give you until the end of the week to make your decision. I need to fill this position quickly, the new office opens next month.’
Next month! Talk about moving fast. She listened as Ajay told her what the new post would entail, the salary – enticingly more than she was getting now – the relocation allowance, and that although she would be office-based, she would spend a lot of time finding and meeting with creatives, and could do some of the work from home. It sounded tempting. Very tempting.
‘It’s a challenging position and I think you’re the right person for it. You’ve got a lot of initiative, are proactive and get on well with the clients. The marketing plans you’ve developed for our existing creatives are excellent, as are the proposals for the new ones. But I understand if you decide it’s not for you.’ He leaned forward. ‘I’d appreciate it if you keep this to yourself, Saffy, it’s not common knowledge yet. And let me know your decision by Friday morning. If you have any further questions, feel free to pop in and ask them.’
She was being dismissed. ‘Okay. And thank you for offering the post to me,’ she said, standing up. Thank goodness she was meeting Meg at lunchtime and could talk to her about it; she thought she was going to burst.
* * *
Meg looked thoughtful when Saffy told her about the job offer. ‘It sounds a great opportunity.’
‘I know. And I’m the first one Ajay’s offered the position to.’
‘It means moving away from your lovely flat and your friends, though. We won’t be able to meet for lunch and you won’t see Bump grow up.’ Meg placed her hand over her still-flat stomach.
‘I know but…’
‘I know, it’s a big move for your career, so you need to think about it carefully. And you’ll be nearer to your sister, of course.’ She stirred the straw around in her orange juice. ‘What about Logan? It means you’ll probably bump into him too if you see more of Hannah.’
Saffy had told her all about her ‘fling’ with Logan and how it had ended.
‘I’m sure we can both manage to be polite if we see each other,’ she said.
‘Do you still have feelings for him?’ Meg asked.
‘Of course not, I told you it was a silly Christmas holiday fling.’
Pre-pregnant Meg would have questioned her further but thankfully mum-to-be Meg was too busy with plans for the baby, and her wedding to Stefan to probe. Because if she was forced to be honest, Saffy had to admit that she wasn’t over Logan. He had left an impression on her that the numerous other men she had dated hadn’t. She often relived their night together in her mind and, yes, wondered how he and Chloe were, but she was sure she had made the right decision to step back and let Logan sort out the mess with Jade. Even though she had to admit that she missed both Logan and Chloe terribly.
* * *
Logan read the letter from Jade’s solicitor, informing him that Jade was seeking custody of Chloe, for the third time. He could hardly believe this was happening. Up until Christmas Jade had barely bothered with Chloe and now she wanted to uproot her from him, her home, her school and everything that was familiar to her. She had announced she was planning on moving back to Bristol, near her parents, and then demanded to have Chloe stay every other weekend. He’d agreed to once a month, reminding himself of Saffy’s words that Chloe had the right to get to know her mother. He thought of Saffy a lot. The few days he’d spent with her were stamped indelibly on his heart but he knew he’d made the right decision to finish it with her. He had to concentrate on Chloe, to sort out this custody battle with Jade; he couldn’t afford any more complications in his life, or any more upset for Chloe.
Logan had then set the wheels in motion to formally get full custody of Chloe – something he could kick himself for not doing when Jade first walked out, knowing she’d have signed the papers back then with no hesitation. But the threat to the control over her access to Chloe was presumably what had prompted this letter back from Jade, suddenly demanding full custody. Ruth, his solicitor, had assured him that there was no way the court would uproot Chloe and give Jade custody, and not even joint custody, seeing as Jade lived in a completely different area, which would disrupt Chloe’s schooling. She thought however that the court would find Jade’s request to have Chloe stay with her every other weekend a reasonable one. ‘I know Jade walked out and left Chloe with you, and hasn’t bothered much with her until now, but she is still her mother, Logan. I think the court would want to encourage Chloe to have a relationship with Jade.’
So that was it; he had to let his precious little girl go and spend every other weekend with Jade.
‘I’m not trying to stop Jade from seeing her. I just don’t want Chloe to get hurt. I’m scared that Jade will get fed up of playing mummy again, and Chloe will be devastated,’ he told Hannah when he went to pick Chloe up. Hannah had collected her from school and she was now playing upstairs with the twins.
‘You can’t stop her getting hurt, love. All you can do is be there for her if she does,’ Hannah told him. ‘I know it’s hard for you but Chloe having a relationship with her mum is a good thing, isn’t it?’
‘I realise that and I want her to have her mum in her life. God, it’s hard being a parent, isn’t it?’
‘The hardest job in the world. Luckily I had a bit of practice with Saffy. I was practically her surrogate mother as poor Mum was working so much.’ She switched on the kettle and took two mugs off the rack. ‘Fancy a cuppa while the kids are playing?’
Saffy. The mention of her name still had the power to hurt him.
Hannah narrowed her eyes. ‘You and Saffy, it was only a fling, right?’
‘Sure. Your sister’s got her city life, her career and her friends. She’s not really the kind of girl who’d want to get involved with a single dad going through a messy custody battle, is she?’
Hannah gave him a quizzical look. ‘She’s interested in her career, of course, why shouldn’t she be? She’s young and single but she’s got a good heart and we’ve grown very close again since Christmas. She was really supportive of me then, and always asks after the twins now.’
An image of Saffy playing Twister with the kids flashed across his mind. She’d joined in with gusto. And that laugh!
‘Yeah, she was brilliant at the party on Christmas Day,’ he said. ‘And the two guys – it was a lot of fun.’
‘Robbie and Duncan? I’ve never met them, what are they like?’ Hannah asked as she handed him a mug of coffee.
‘They’re great.’ As they sat chatting away Logan thought how much his life had changed since Christmas. Nothing was certain any more.
Chapter Thirty-One
‘Listen, babe, we’ll miss you but Exeter isn’t that far away. You could easily drive up on a Friday evening straight from work and spend the weekend with us. Our spare room is yours whenever you want it. It’s not that far to drive down and visit your sister either, it’s the best of both worlds.’ Robbie shoved another handful of peanuts in his mouth and chewed them thoughtfully. ‘This is a fantastic opportunity, you’ll be doing the job you’ve always wanted to do. What’s with the hesitation?’
Saffy spread the butter on the warm baguette slowly. How could she explain to Robbie when she didn’t really understand herself? ‘It’s a big decision to up sticks and move,’ she said slowly. ‘I love this flat and being able to meet up with you and Meg at lunchtime.’
‘Enough to turn down a promotion?’ Robbie narrowed his eyes suspiciously. ‘This is about Logan, isn’t it? You’re worried that you’ll bump into him when you visit Hannah?’
‘No, I’m not!’ Saffy said indignantly. Honestly, when Robbie had asked if he could pop over from work on Thursday evening to discuss wedding preparations with her, she hadn’t expected him to give her the third degree about her new job offer.
‘You’ve never been a very convincing liar,’ Robbie told her. He nodded towards the oven. ‘I think th
e pizza’s done.’
‘Oh shit!’ Saffy glanced at the oven door where she could see the now dark-brown pizza bubbling, grabbed the tea towel and opened the oven, standing back from the hiss of hot smoke. ‘It’s a bit well done, sorry,’ she said, as she took out the almost unrecognisable ham and pineapple pizza and placed it on top of the oven to cool.
‘What’s new?’ Robbie grinned. He picked up the bowl of salad Saffy had just prepared. ‘At least you do a mean salad.’ He nodded toward the open door leading into the lounge. ‘Shall I take it through?’
‘Thanks.’ Saffy transferred the pizza onto a plate, cut it up, picked up the plate of buttered baguette and followed him through. Two plates and cutlery were already placed on the coffee table and Robbie was now sitting on the sofa, dishing himself out some salad. She put the pizza and bread in the middle of the table and sat down beside him. ‘It’s been ages since we did this.’
‘That’s because we live too far away from each other to just pop in.’ He picked up a slice of pizza and bit into it. ‘Which is why it doesn’t make sense that you’re hesitating over this new job. I mean, I’ll miss Friday night meet-ups after work and the odd weekend lunch but everything’s changing for all of us. Meg’s having a baby and getting married. I’m getting married.’ He looked at her, puzzled. ‘This is the job of your dreams and as much as you love us all, I don’t believe you’re thinking of turning it down just because we all won’t be able to meet up as often.’
‘I didn’t say I was thinking of turning it down. I’m just considering all things carefully. It’s a big decision.’
‘It’s Logan, isn’t it? Admit it. I could see the connection between you two at Christmas and you haven’t been the same since. You’ve lost your spark.’
How could she explain to Robbie when she wasn’t sure what she was feeling herself?
‘It’s not that I’ve still got feelings for him. It’s just that I don’t want things to be awkward. And I don’t want to break my promise to Chloe.’
Robbie looked surprised. ‘What promise?’
‘That when I came down to visit Hannah I’d pop in and see her.’
‘And you can’t do that because…?’
‘Because Logan made it clear he didn’t want me to. We’re over.’
‘In that case, don’t worry. He’s the parent, it’s his responsibility to deal with Chloe and you’re released from your promise.’ Robbie picked up another slice of pizza. ‘So, remind me, what exactly is stopping you from taking this fantastic promotion?’
She’d been asking herself the same question all week. She kept thinking of how Chloe had hugged her, begged her to visit. How would the little girl feel if she found out that Saffy had been to visit Hannah and the twins but not popped in to say hello to her? Kids are like that, she’ll have forgotten me by now, she reminded herself, especially now that she’s got her mum back in her life. ‘I guess I feel like I’ve let her down. But you’re right, it’s up to Logan to explain to her that we’ve fallen out.’
‘Maybe you’ll unfall out.’
She shook her head. ‘No chance of that. I’m not getting involved with a man with a child desperate to have a little sister. It’ll only end in heartbreak.’
‘Not everyone’s like Joe.’ Robbie took another bite of pizza and chewed it thoughtfully. ‘Joe was a selfish moron and definitely not right for you. If a guy really loves you he won’t dump you because you can’t have a baby.’ She’d confided in both Robbie and Meg after the consultant had told her the results of her operation.
‘If a guy wants children – or more children in Logan’s case – it’s not fair to deprive them of that. It’s my problem. I don’t want to make it anyone else’s.’
‘Not being able to have kids of your own is hard, but it isn’t the end of the world, hun. There are other ways to have a family. Me and Duncan have been talking about it. We’d like a family in a couple of years.’
‘Maybe… but it’s not just that.’
‘Well, the Saffy I know and love wouldn’t turn down the job of a lifetime just because it didn’t work out with a guy.’ Robbie stood up. ‘I’ll make us a coffee, shall I?’
‘Yes, please. Black for me.’ As Robbie disappeared into the kitchen, Saffy thought over his words. He was right. The truth was that the only reason she was hesitating over this job was because she didn’t want to bump into Logan again. It had been a long time since she’d fallen for someone in such a big way and she was struggling to cope with it. Well, she needed to get over it. This was too big an opportunity to miss.
* * *
‘I’m really pleased you’re accepting the position, Saffy,’ Ajay said when she told him her decision the next day. ‘You’re the ideal person for the job and I know you’ll do it well.’ He shook her hand, his face all smiles. ‘We’ll help with relocation expenses but we need you down there this time next month.’ He looked at her questioningly. ‘What about your flat? Do you have to sell it? Give notice to your landlord?’
‘I own it. I’ll put it in the hands of an agency and rent it out for a while, until I decide whether to sell,’ she told him. She’d decided this in the early hours of the morning when she’d still been tossing and turning about her decision. That way, if the job didn’t work out, she still had her home to come back to.
‘Great, that’s all sorted then. Now take a seat while we discuss all the finer details.’
Saffy left Ajay’s office feeling sure she had made the right decision. She was excited about finding new craftspeople and artists to add to buycreative.com’s database. And she loved Exeter, it was a picturesque and bustling city. This was a brand new chapter in her life and she was going to seize it with both hands.
She phoned Hannah to tell her the news later that evening. ‘Oh, Saffy, that’s brilliant. Congratulations.’ Saffy could hear the TV in the background and the twins playing. She could imagine the scene in her head and was suddenly filled with a longing to see her sister and the twins again. ‘And, of course, it means that we’ll be able to see more of you too. That’ll be wonderful.’
‘It will. I’ve missed you all. How are the twins?’
They chatted for a while, exchanging news, ending with Saffy promising to come down for a weekend soon. When she ended the call, Saffy was even more sure that she was making the right decision. She missed her sister and would love to be part of the twins’ lives. As for Logan, she was sure they were both adult enough to be polite if they bumped into each other. She’d been getting herself into a stew over nothing. Tomorrow she’d call a letting agent to find someone to rent her flat for six months and start packing. A new life was waiting for her.
* * *
‘I don’t want to go to Mummy’s this weekend. I want to stay at home,’ Chloe said, on the verge of tears. ‘Please don’t make me go.’
Logan had wondered if the novelty of seeing her mother would wear off and Chloe would want it to be just him and her again. Now what did he do? He’d agreed with Jade’s solicitor that she could have Chloe every other weekend. He couldn’t force the little girl to go though, not when she was so upset, and he couldn’t help feeling pleased that she preferred to stay home with him instead. But although he wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to go, he knew that he should try to persuade her.
He crouched down in front of her. ‘Mummy’s expecting you, poppet, and she’ll be really disappointed if you don’t go.’
‘I don’t want to.’ Chloe sniffed and huddled into the corner of the sofa.
Logan frowned. This wasn’t like Chloe. He sat down beside her and wrapped his arm around her. ‘Tell me why not,’ he coaxed.
‘I don’t like Grant.’ Chloe sniffed again.
Logan froze. ‘Who’s Grant?’
‘Mummy’s boyfriend. He’s really grumpy.’
‘Did he shout at you?’ Logan asked, fighting down the urge to phone Jade right now and ask her what the hell was going on.
‘Yes.’ Chloe sniffed. ‘I want to st
ay here with you and play with my toys.’ She looked up at him beseechingly. ‘Can I, please?’
He remembered thinking that Chloe had been quiet when she came home from staying with Jade last time but had thought she’d just been tired. He hated it that she’d been so upset and hadn’t confided in him. And he was angry with Jade that she’d let one of her man friends shout at his – their – daughter. He’d a good mind to tell her she wasn’t having Chloe overnight again. He was sure that if he told his solicitor that Chloe had begged not to go, she would say he didn’t have to make her.
Then he remembered Saffy’s words. ‘You might not think that Jade has a right to a second chance but Chloe has a right to a mother.’
He had to sort this, for Chloe’s sake. Then at least he could say, hand on heart, that he’d tried to keep her mother in her life. He kissed Chloe on the forehead. ‘I’ll speak to Mummy and tell her you don’t want to go and see what she says. Maybe Grant won’t be there.’
He left Chloe watching the TV and went into the kitchen to dial Jade.
‘I hope you haven’t phoned up to make up an excuse, Logan.’ As usual, Jade was on the attack. ‘We’ve agreed that I pick Chloe up today and have her overnight.’
‘I know.’ Logan hesitated. Keep calm, he told himself. Try not to be accusing. ‘The thing is, she’s crying that she doesn’t want to come.’
‘You’ve put her up to that!’ Jade shot back.
‘I absolutely have not. In fact, I’ve got a date for tonight.’ He hadn’t, but he wanted Jade to know that she wasn’t the only one who had someone in their life. Except he didn’t, did he? He’d lost the only person he wanted in his life. Stop thinking about Saffy, you’ve got an important issue to deal with here. ‘Chloe is crying that she doesn’t like Grant. She said he shouted at her.’
He heard Jade’s sharp hiss. ‘Grant has never shouted at her. Yes, he told her off – she spilled her food on the floor and wouldn’t clear it up. But he certainly didn’t raise his voice.’
