“I don’t remember reading anything on that topic. Mostly those books hold ancient remedies to common maladies, such as fevers and festering wounds. Would you like some help going through them?” she offered, her gaze shifting back to my face.
“I thought you wanted me to stop wasting time,” I said cautiously. M’Tek reached her hand out to brush my hair back from my face. Her hand lingered on my cheek.
“I know it’s not fair, expecting you to accept this without a fight,” she explained. “And I wouldn’t accept it if you were the one dying,” she added. “If it makes this easier for you, scouring all of these dusty old books, searching for an answer we’ll never find, I’ll assist you.” I couldn’t help but smile.
“Thank you,” I said quietly.
“By the way,” she added. “I think your disappearing act today helped quell those rumors of our mutual fascination.”
“What disappearing act?” I asked. “You told me to keep my distance.”
“I know, but I thought you’d be back in your rooms at some point. All day, I’ve had no idea where you were,” she replied. “I went out to the cliffs when you failed to appear at midday. I spent the entire afternoon searching the palace trying to find you. I even had Shiroane looking. I couldn’t focus on work because I kept trying to decide where you were hiding. It did not go unnoticed. And then there was my performance in the dining hall, of course. I hardly touched my meal, as I sat in tragic isolation, in full view of my many inquisitive guests, while I waited longingly for you to appear.” M’Tek forced a smile. “My cousin tells me I’m absolutely besotted with you, while sadly, you haven’t even noticed. Or worse still, you’ve noticed, but simply don’t care.” M’Tek laughed, but the sound was hard rather than joyful. “This gossip’s not gentle on my ego, but I might live longer.”
“I only did as you asked,” I replied. “I would much rather have been with you, and preferably in bed.”
“Then we’re in agreement,” she said, brightening somewhat.
She pulled out a chair and sat down close to me at the table. “So, I take it you’ve gone through those already,” she said, pointing at a disheveled stack of books to my right. I nodded. “All right, I’ll take this ancient tome,” she said, fishing the thickest book from the stack, an impressive thousand-page monster.
We read quietly through the following few hours, even after M’Tek had to get up and see to the lighting. Finally, when I finished the last of my allotment, I glanced over at M’Tek. “Don’t we have a ball this evening?” I asked casually.
“I thought you might attend this one without me,” she said softly. “The estate is nearby, and I’ll send you in comfort.” I shook my head.
“I’m willing to pretend I’m indifferent to you in front of your nobles, but I won’t attend a ball without you,” I said with finality. “I don’t mind staying in,” I offered.
M’Tek didn’t reply, but stuck her nose back in the book she was checking, the last of the first third of the total books we would be scouring. After a few minutes, she closed the book and shoved it away from her on the table. “Let’s reshelf these in the morning,” she suggested.
She stood and stretched as I let my gaze ease along the sleek lines of her body. I stood, pushing my chair aside as I moved to stand in front of her. Her hands came to rest on my shoulders as I leaned in to caress her lips with mine. Her arms slid down my back as I gripped her waist, lifting her up to sit on the edge of the table. She smiled as I began unfastening the breeches she was wearing.
“What are you doing, my love?” she asked with laughter in her voice.
“I need to taste you,” I whispered as I dropped to my knees to tug her pants over her hips.
“Someone may come looking for us,” she suggested, without trying to stop me.
We both knew the library was the last place anyone would likely come to find us. I pressed my lips to her inner thigh and felt her react immediately. A surge of desire swept through me as the white hair between her thighs tickled my nose. I pressed a fleeting kiss where I knew she was most sensitive, and her fingers wound through my hair, encouraging my attentions. I lightly pressed my tongue to her as her hips spread, her heel pressing my back to urge me closer. When I moved my tongue softly over her, she stifled a gasp in an effort to be quiet. I drew back from her, suddenly unsure.
“Deus!” she whispered. “You’re killing me, Lore. Haven’t you tormented me enough for one day?”
I had been tentative, but at her urging, I moved with her, allowing her hands to guide me where she wanted me. Her moans became louder, harder to muffle, as her back arched, her hands holding me close to her. When she came, the heel of her boot pressed so forcefully against my back it left a small bruise.
Her legs released me, and her hands cupped my jaw, guiding me up from the floor where I was kneeling. She pressed her lips to mine, as she fastened her trousers, and then her hand moved down my body to gather the material of my dress. “My turn,” she said. I stilled her hands.
“Not now, M’Tek. We don’t have time.”
“But I want…” she started.
“We have a ball to attend, unless we’re staying in,” I reminded her. Her hands fell away releasing my skirt around my legs again.
“It would be disrespectful if neither of us showed,” she said, smoothing her trousers across her narrow hips. “And my people need to fall in love with you,” she added, straightening her tunic as she tucked it in at the waist. “Watching me ache for you all evening should put them well on their way,” she said, capturing my lips for a brief but fervent kiss.
Over the following months we attended so many balls they began to run together in my mind, creating a brilliantly colored haze. Only moments stuck out in my memory, a glance from M’Tek that set my heart beating faster, the smell of citrus in the air, and the first time one of my absurd attempts to appear indifferent elicited a genuine expression of pain in her beautiful eyes.
All through the season, M’Tek commended me on my performance. I’d honed my acting skills early, so our pretense was second nature to me. Afterward, at night, she’d go through the slights of the evening with me, laughing to think her entire court was convinced of my indifference. On those occasions when my performance had been truly effective, she was always more demanding with me in bed, as if reassuring herself that my apathy was a ruse, and that she could make me want her any time she chose.
As the season progressed she became less cautious with me in public. Unable to hide her growing passion, her hands sought my skin recklessly, or her lips brushed my temple as she leaned in to whisper to me. Of course this only made me colder in appearance when I was forced to rebuff her attentions in order to keep her safe. Slowly, this combination of heat from M’Tek, and ice from me, became the unspoken theme of the season. At every ball it seemed the opening announcements centered on the nature of fire and ice.
By the final ball this theme was no longer unspoken. This last celebration was always held at Lareem Palace, as was the first, closing the circle. Pet set about creating a surreal atmosphere for this event, where ice and fire existed side by side, complementing, rather than destroying one another. There were several ice sculptures, mostly of kestrels, the symbol of the Noge, but also a very detailed one of me, standing at the edge of the room, looking out toward the cliffs as if bored by the scene. Throughout the room there were open flames in the centers of tables, and suspended from the ceiling, and a massive bonfire just outside in the garden. I found the display revolting, but kept my response to myself.
As I readied for this final performance, M’Tek came into my room carrying two dresses. I glanced up at her with curiosity.
“Have you changed your mind about what you’re wearing?” I asked her as she arranged the two gowns out in front of me. She turned to gage my reaction.
“Pet had these made for us, to our measurements,” she replied. “It’s only a suggestion, but she thinks it will subdue some of the talk, about my preoccupat
ion with you, if we seem to play it up tonight, and make light of it,” she offered.
I came over to stand beside M’Tek, surveying the dresses. One was a vibrant red, with rubies, citrines and smoky topazes sewn into the material by fine golden thread, the colors entwined, as if flames were licking the material. It had a gauzy train flowing from the back, with the occasional ruby or golden topaz sewn here and there, giving the appearance of a trail of fire. The second dress was the palest of blues, and the material was almost sheer, with thousands of diamonds sewn in, giving the impression it was incrusted in ice.
“I’m wearing the red one,” I said before turning back to attend to my hair. “May I borrow your rubies for the evening?” I asked. M’Tek laughed. “And I’ll lend you my diamonds for the blue one. We can work with your white hair to make it appear frozen into icicles. You’ll be a stunning ice queen.”
“I’m not certain you understand, my love. The red one was made for me, the blue for you,” she pointed out unnecessarily. “I’m fire. You’re ice.”
“I know the game. I’ve been playing it all season,” I snapped. “I’m the one who burns, every time I’m forced to push you away. Do you think that I enjoy this frigid ice queen persona that’s been forced upon me, or that I find it amusing? This is not a joke. I will not play the fool again tonight,” I added, failing for once to hide the anger in my voice. When M’Tek didn’t reply I continued. “I’ll wear the red one and you the blue. Are we in agreement?”
“If that’s what you want, Lore,” she said quietly.
I continued working with my hair. In rigid movements I twisted sections of hair up off my neck and pinned them sharply in place. “May I help you with that?” she offered from behind my shoulder. I focused on her reflection in the mirror in front of me. She seemed fine, except for her eyes. There was a storm raging behind those pale grey eyes, but she was doing everything in her power not to let me know.
“M’Tek,” I whispered. She shook her head, shifting her gaze away from me. I stood and turned to face her. “I’m sorry,” I offered. “I know this isn’t your fault.” She wouldn’t meet my gaze for a moment.
“You’ve never really played the fool, my love. I’m the besotted fool chasing after an ice queen,” M’Tek pointed out. “Do you actually imagine that I find this amusing? Before this disastrous season, my personal life was mine, not a show put on for the delight of my nobles,” she said sharply. “And anyone who dared discuss my affairs might find a dark, rat infested, cell beneath the palace their new home.” She raised one white eyebrow, appearing every bit as dangerous as I knew her to be. “I’ve rarely kept a lover more than a few weeks. This fool you see is not who I have been,” she said, her tone curt. “Now you want me to become the ice queen in this preposterous farce? Fine. Anything you want, my Queen. You need only ask and it will be done.”
“I’ll wear the blue dress,” I offered, sorry to have been the cause of such a reaction in her.
“No,” she snapped. “I’m finished with this game. Despite what you may think, my love, I am capable of refusing you.”
She turned back to the dresses and snatched up the blue one. When she turned to leave I moved quickly, blocking her path. “Wait,” I said, backing up to the door to prevent her escape. “Stay with me.”
“Get out of my way, Lore. I need to retrieve my rubies,” she said coldly. “You can’t wear diamonds with that dress. It will look wrong.”
Gathering her in an embrace, I tucked my forehead against her neck, willing the tension from her back, tension I’d caused. After a moment I heard her sigh. Cautiously, her arms eased around me. I shifted back to see her face.
“You are not a besotted fool,” I said, trying to soothe her.
“Don’t be absurd. Of course I am,” she replied, her voice sounding defeated. “Why else would it bother me to be called one?”
“Well, I’m extremely besotted with you, burning for you,” I said, raising an eyebrow. When I grinned M’Tek rolled her eyes at my weak joke, but she couldn’t quite prevent the small smile from taking root at the corners of her mouth.
“I don’t know what I’m doing in all of this. I’m in over my head,” she confessed in a whisper. “For the first time in my adult life, I’m incapable of controlling myself. This disaster is the result,” she added. I kissed the tip of her long straight nose and that small smile at the corners of her mouth developed into a radiant one. My heart started beating faster.
“You’re so beautiful. With every second that passes I want you more,” I told her.
She caught my lips in a light kiss spurring my hands down her hips. “We don’t have time, my love,” she cautioned as my lustful intentions became abundantly clear.
“I disagree,” was my reply. “I think we’ll have just enough time, if we stop wasting it,” I argued, guiding her back to the bed, and the red dress still set out there. The blue one she’d dropped to the floor.
Of course, I wore the red dress that evening, and M’Tek wore the blue one. At the start of the ball, as the first notes rang through the room, I turned to M’Tek and offered my hand. She accepted with a wry smile, and I led her out to the middle of the ballroom. This time I led as we danced, my skills having improved through constant practice with countless Fae nobles over the past few months. I spun her around the room, for once enjoying the spectacle we made. When the final chords of the song faded, M’Tek offered a full Noge bow, and the room around us erupted with the buzzing of conversation. It was only the second time we had danced together.
I led M’Tek from the floor, and over to the massive kestrel ice sculpture that hovered at the west side of the room. I couldn’t stomach approaching the ice queen next to the windows. M’Tek was clearly pleased, smiling, and enjoying the little reversal of roles we’d accomplished, when Pet approached us hesitantly.
“My Queen,” Pet said, acknowledging M’Tek. “Queen Loredana,” she said to me. “I must not have made it clear, who was to wear which dress,” she said nervously. I grinned at her. “This was not what I intended.”
“Don’t worry. It was quite clear, Pet,” I said easily. “It’s just that the blue one looks so lovely on M’Tek,” I explained, openly ogling the Fae Queen. “Her eyes are like ice,” I added.
“I see,” Pet said, growing uncomfortable. “Well, but it was supposed to be a nod to…”
“Don’t worry about it, cousin,” M’Tek interrupted. “This is what we wanted.”
“I understand,” Pet said, appearing confused. “But everyone now thinks you’ve won the Noge Queen’s heart,” Pet pointed out. “Was that your intent? Is there to be a joining?”
“No,” I replied, the smile sliding from my lips. “Soon I’ll be back in Vilkerland, and M’Tek will be here, and everything will return to normal,” I said evenly. “We are very close friends and allies, but that is all.” Pet nodded.
“As you say,” Pet said, sounding unconvinced. “I’ll leave you to your conversation.”
As Pet moved away, I watched M’Tek. She was scanning the room, acknowledging the bow of a high lord here and a dame there. Her hand settled on my lower back as she leaned close to my ear.
“Would you like to dance with me again?” she asked.
“I can’t think of anything I’d rather do,” was my reply.
“Really, my love? Are you certain of that?” she asked, teasing me. My face became hot, which meant I was blushing. M’Tek started laughing. “That’s what I thought.”
****
My party departed Lareem late the following afternoon. Truly, I did not want to leave. M’Tek begged out of seeing me off, promising to stand just out of sight on one of the upper verandas to watch my departure. I turned back often as we rode from the palace, hoping for a glimpse of her for a second, or less even, but I never caught sight of her. I understood why she couldn’t stand on the steps watching me leave. We were still attempting to subdue gossip about our relationship, though all of Faeland believed M’Tek had succeeded in her
seduction attempts by that point. My own guards probably even believed the rumors, or at least what they understood of them.
We made excellent time through the pass, finding no hint of a Borderling presence for at least the past few months. I found it strange after the difficulties we’d had on our way to Lareem. There were signs of conflict near the summit, the picked over skeleton of a horse still resting in what remained of its tack, but no raiders to be found.
We arrived home late in the afternoon, four days after our departure from Lareem. My first order of business was to send notice to M’Tek of our safe arrival, even before I took a much-needed bath. I found I was loath to cinch myself up in my tight, stiff, Vilken dresses again, after months of wearing the looser, more forgiving Fae clothing. And so I continued to wear the clothes M’Tek’s tailors had sewn for me.
Pet, who reverted back to life in Vilkerdam more easily than I, was horrified to see me wearing those casual Fae dresses. She addressed the issue by having Vilken tailors create more comfortable versions of what I had formerly worn. After much persuading, I finally consented to wearing the cumbersome garments.
The battle over my clothes took up the better part of the first two weeks after my return, but once it was settled, Pet commenced the work of trying to engineer a joining. Luckily, rumors of my scandalous behavior with the Fae Queen did not make it out of Vilkerdam Palace to the rest of Vilkerland. Pet saw to that, threatening and bribing anyone she had to, in order to protect my reputation. As for M’Tek’s reputation, Pet seemed less concerned, incorrectly guessing that her cousin had forgotten me the moment we departed Lareem. Pet’s sympathy was only one of the many tortures I endured after my return. None of them compared to the loneliness and yearning I felt over M’Tek’s absence from my daily life.
The parties started almost immediately, as new groups of young Vilkerlings arrived every day. Within a month of my return, my palace contained no less than sixty young Vilken nobles. There was a good mix of males and females, and I passed my time trying to decide which of the men I would find least repulsive to copulate with, since that was the point of the festivities.
The Changeling Page 15
