Kieran’s jaw dropped as she stared at me. I moved around her, careful not to touch her. My shield was humming violently beneath my skin, and vibrating through my bones. I knew if I made contact with Kieran I would be unable to control the outcome. Once inside the palace, I made my way up to my rooms, slamming the door behind me.
“What’s wrong?” I heard before turning around to find M’Tek sitting on the sofa, surrounded by documents in neat little piles.
“It’s nothing,” I replied. “I handled her already,” I added.
“And you’d rather not talk with me about it?” she said gently.
“I don’t mind telling you. I have expelled one of my guests, Dame Kieran of the House Vassek,” I explained. “May I borrow a few of your Fae guard to see her back across Smugglers Pass into Vilkerland?”
“You may command anything that is mine,” she replied. “See Pet about the details. She’ll arrange whatever you require.”
“I need a courier, too,” I added, thinking aloud. “I have to send instructions back to Vilkerdam for her immediate removal from my palace.”
“Deus!” M’Tek said under her breath. “This girl upset you.”
“She did,” I agreed.
“Did she try to kiss you again?” M’Tek asked in a voice full of laughter. I glared at her for smiling and then looked away to the window, out at the view across the headlands to the bright blue water.
“No. She tried to make me confess my preference for her and her brother over Lord Roland,” I admitted.
“And that upset you?” she asked, obviously incredulous. I shook my head.
“Not really. She also disparaged the Fae people,” I continued.
“I think you mean that she disparaged me,” M’Tek corrected. I met her gaze. She was still smiling. “Countless people have disparaged me over the years, my love, but none have been expelled from Lareem Palace for doing so,” she commented. “Are you certain you want to forge an enemy over something so trivial?”
“I won’t change my mind,” I said sharply. “And her words were not trivial.”
“So she disparaged me greatly, and chose her audience poorly. Foolish girl,” M’Tek observed. “Did you threaten her with a charge of treason?” M’Tek asked, lifting her brow. I bit my lip to keep from replying. “Deus! You did. I was only joking,” M’Tek laughed even harder, pressing her fingertips to the bridge of her nose.
“This situation is not funny,” I snapped.
“No, of course it’s not,” she agreed, attempting to stop smiling, but failing. “Do you remember what my cousin said of your little Vilkerling?” M’Tek asked, giving up her meager attempt at a straight face, and instead wearing that playful smile that always made me want her.
“She has the manners of a Borderling,” I repeated.
“Pet has a keen eye,” M’Tek replied, still grinning. “Come here, my darling,” she said, patting the place on the sofa beside her. “Loyalty must be rewarded,” she said, dropping her voice seductively.
****
The season seemed to be progressing to an easy conclusion. There had been no open conflicts between the Fae nobility and my Vilken guests, and we had only one ball left to attend before the season was to close. To my eyes M’Tek was healthy, vibrant even. She still bore that faint line at the side of her mouth, but once I no longer associated it with her impending death, I’d grown to love it in the same way I loved her striking white hair, her longish nose, and every gentle curve and angle of her beautiful body.
The final ball was again themed, and again it centered on the rumors among Fae nobility about our affection for one another. This time, the premise was a joining feast, in the Old Noge style. Our likenesses were depicted in sculpted ice fruit, blueberry for me and a deep red blood orange for M’Tek. Our doppelgangers were embracing at one side of the room. In addition to this, there were traditional commitment ropes in the fiery red of the Fae, and the pale blue of the Noge, winding throughout the room, from ceiling to wall in striking, intricately woven, patterns. There were also unbroken circles, connected, one ring of rubies circling through another, encrusted with sapphires. It was a nod to the avidly remembered fire and ice party of the previous season.
When Pet arrived outside our apartments carrying two joining gowns, one of Fae tradition, the other of Noge, I started growing uneasy. Possibly we were pushing the Vilken people beyond their ability to feign obliviousness. My people may overlook the excessive affections showered upon me by the Fae Queen, but I suspected a mock joining celebration would push them well beyond those already tested limits of indulgence with their young Queen. And yet, Pet walked in as if bearing gifts that would bring smiles to our faces. M’Tek took it all with good humor. I was nervous.
“Pet, you realize, of course, I can’t possibly wear a traditional joining dress to this ball,” I said as she was displaying the dresses to us. “You should have asked me before having these made.” M’Tek stood close beside me, resting a hand on my shoulder as she examined the delicate material of the pale blue dress in front of me.
“It’s truly beautiful, cousin,” M’Tek commented in a wistful voice. “You found Old Noge silk. I believed the art was lost.”
“My tailor’s men scoured the Eastern Noge Territory, finally discovering an artisan who still observes the old ways. I’ve provided him with apprentices in order to revive the art. Your dress is equally spectacular, though, my Queen,” the Grand Duchess said, trying to divert our attention from my rather clear refusal. “It’s actually spun platinum,” Pet said, lifting it for M’Tek’s inspection. “The metal is treated with acid, at a high temperature, to soften it to a workable textile,” Pet continued in a state of rapture. “The process takes months.”
“Months?” I asked. “How long has this party been planned?” Both Fae women gazed at me with expressions of utter innocence, further provoking my misgivings.
“This material wasn’t necessarily meant for my cousin’s dress, Lore,” Pet explained after a long pause, and in an unconvincingly sweet tone. “It was only a lucky coincidence it was available,” she lied. I knew she was lying, and she diverted her gaze when she realized I saw through her attempt. Pet forced a smile and held M’Tek’s gaze for a moment. Though I was dubious, I let my unanswered question drop.
“As beautiful as it is, I’m not wearing a Noge joining gown to this ball,” I said firmly. “It will be misunderstood by the Vilkerlings in attendance. Not only that, I think the Fae would read too much into it as well. We’ve been far too careless in our behavior this season. I’ve been reckless, displaying my affections so blatantly. Such thoughtlessness only breeds difficulty.”
“But you’ll be so beautiful wearing it,” Pet argued. “And it’s only a dress, Lore,” she added, cutting her eyes to M’Tek again. M’Tek’s calm gaze moved from her cousin to me, and then back again. Patiently she waited to hear how Pet might attempt to convince me.
“No, Pet. You’re well aware that this is not only a dress. It’s a Noge joining dress,” I said, stating the obvious. “They’re likely to take it literally and believe I want to join with the Fae Queen. It cuts too close to the truth for us to make a game of it,” I explained. “I see no reason to stir either the hopes of the Fae, or the fears of the Vilkerlings, just so your party will have an amusing theme.”
“But this season has been about the joining of two peoples, former enemies brought together in familial bond,” Pet said smugly, showing all of her pretty teeth in an innocent smile. “How could anything be more suitable?”
“I guess, if the dress were a Vilken joining gown, I might see your point,” I argued. Pet looked to M’Tek for help.
“Lore’s right, cousin,” M’Tek said. “If that were the intent, the dress should have been designed in the Vilken style.”
“But Vilken fashion is disturbing,” Pet shot back, angered at the idea. “Have you seen the hideous red sacks those creatures wear to be joined?” Pet shook her head. “No. I would not oversee the pro
duction of such an atrocity. I would not see you, my beautiful friend, forced into such a dress.” I laughed in spite of myself, and M’Tek smiled at me, appearing slightly relieved that I’d taken this particular misunderstanding with good humor.
“Thank you, cousin. We’ll think it over,” M’Tek said, stepping away from me and placing a hand on Pet’s shoulder to guide her to the sitting room door. When M’Tek returned I was examining the dress.
“It truly is beautiful,” I admitted grudgingly.
“Will you slip it on? I’d like to see you wear it, even if only for a moment,” M’Tek said.
“If you’ll try yours,” I replied, smiling as I pictured her in the gown.
She took the dress into her apartment, leaving me alone in the sitting area. I stripped quickly. The moment the material fell over my head I was in love. The dress was flawless. It hung perfectly, concealing very little, but still far from indecent. The material itself felt like a caress on my skin. I tried the matching slippers Pet had provided, and walked into my apartment to check myself in the mirror. Searching my sides, I realized I couldn’t find a seam on the dress. It looked as if it had been woven to the form of my body. I lifted my hair up into a knot, slipped in place one of the sapphire clips M’Tek had given me to hold my hair, and surveyed my appearance. I decided the dress suited me well, and went to show M’Tek.
When I walked back into the sitting area, M’Tek was relaxing in the chair by the window. She sat up straighter as I entered, her gaze following me, as her eyes said everything her sense of restraint made her withhold. I felt my heart beating faster as I walked over to her.
“To think you might have worn such a dress for me,” she said, her voice soft to my ears. “You’re perfect, my love.” I felt my cheeks growing warm.
“Let me see you,” I insisted, trying to draw the attention away from myself.
M’Tek stood. She was flawless, the material of her dress catching the dimming sunlight outside the sitting room window. She had matched diamonds set in long platinum ropes that dangled down her body, making the light effect even more mesmerizing. Her hair she left loose and long, only one clip above her right ear, holding it back from her pale eyes.
“This is how I dreamed you would look,” I confessed as her eyes moved over me. I saw her chest rising and falling, and thought maybe she was getting emotional. M’Tek never showed weakness in that way. I went to her, wrapping my arms around her slight shoulders. “You’re so beautiful. Why are you sad?” I whispered close to her ear. M’Tek’s arms tightened around me.
“I’m not. It’s nothing,” she said, leaning back from me and forcing a smile.
“Tell me,” I replied.
“It’s only, this may be the closest we ever get,” she said calmly.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re planning to take a consort, and I’m dying,” she said. “If everything goes according to plan, a year from tonight you’ll be on someone else’s arm.”
“Have you had more symptoms?” I asked, alarmed. M’Tek smiled and shook her head.
“No. Relax. I feel fine, my love,” she reassured me.
“You know I don’t want to take a consort,” I said, responding to the other part of what she’d said. “I only want you,” I added. M’Tek nodded.
“Thank you for showing me the dress,” she said softly. “It’s etched in my mind. I’ll keep the image with me when you’re back at Vilkerdam Palace next week,” she added. “I’ll close my eyes and see you like this.” I swallowed hard, my throat getting tight. Neither of us had discussed what would happen next, when I left with my guests and my guard. Of course I wanted her to come with me, but I had to leave. I’d been away too long.
“I’ll wear the dress tonight,” I said, giving in despite my misgivings. “This will be our joining feast, just for the two of us.”
“But it might give your Vilkerlings the wrong idea,” she argued.
“I don’t care about them right now,” I said calmly. “Besides, how many Vilkerlings are worldly enough to recognize a Noge joining dress when they see one?” I asked, grinning as I joined in her ongoing joke about the myopia of my people. “You said yourself, the Vilkerlings have proven themselves to be quite dense.” M’Tek laughed, a tear running from the corner of her eye and down over her cheek. I leaned forward and kissed away the salty trail. “Please don’t cry,” I whispered. “I love you more than anything.”
“Come with me. I’m going to cover you in sapphires,” she replied. “I have the perfect jewels for your dress.” I smiled, as she took my hand, leading me back into her bedchamber to try her jewels.
The evening started well. I was correct in assuming none of the Vilkerlings would recognize what I was wearing. The Fae seemed over the moon with this opportunity to mock the Vilkerlings for their ignorance. My obvious complicity only confirmed for the Fae their assumption that I belonged to Faeland, rather than Vilkerland.
I danced every dance with M’Tek, ignoring Lord Roland, and never even laying eyes on Kolten. When M’Tek held me too close, I didn’t curb her. She kissed my neck and I wound my fingers through her hair, encouraging her attention, craving her lips on my skin. Later, when I wondered what had happened, how I’d so completely lost my mind in that moment, I had to attribute my behavior to M’Tek’s immeasurable beauty, and the enticing scent of her skin. She dazzled me, blinding me to consequence in that mad moment.
I’d danced through countless songs with her, enjoying the way her hands teased along my back. I wanted a glass of sparkling berrywine, and was on the edge of voicing my desire, when M’Tek bowed low in front of me. We were in the center of the ballroom, and everyone shifted to see what was happening. M’Tek raised my hand to her lips, the intense emotion in her pale eyes holding me breathless, suspended in time.
“I declare my undying love for you, Queen Loredana of Vilkerland,” she said, raising her voice to be heard. “Before my people, and yours, I’d like to ask you to join with me. I take you not as my consort, but as my Queen, with equal power to rule Faeland and the Eastern Noge Territory. You shall be crowned on the first evening of the next Fae season. Will you consent?”
Her eyes were pleading with me. I glanced around the too silent room. Everyone was watching us, the Vilkerlings with expressions ranging from shock to dread, and even anger, and the Fae with hope and excitement. When I caught sight of Pet, her hand covering her mouth, her eyes wide with shock, I knew, M’Tek’s declaration was unplanned. My focus returned to M’Tek, and I saw stunning beauty, intelligence, kindness, and patience, blended with immeasurable love. Not only did I love her with all my heart, she was my better in every way. I took a deep breath, trying to find the words to tell her I couldn’t consent, that I wouldn’t give her the only thing she had ever asked of me.
“Yes,” I said, my words coming without the constraints of my mind. “If this is what you truly want, of course. I consent. I love you, M’Tek. I adore you. I’ll do anything for you,” I added.
She closed her eyes, and I felt her hand tremble in mine. Later she told me she was so certain I would refuse her, that she thought she’d misheard my reply. I watched as her chest rose and fell rapidly, her eyes turning red and watering. I guided her to her feet and stepped forward, kissing her gently, only meaning to reassure her. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me close, kissing me with passion usually reserved for more private settings.
There was a deafening roar that I thought may have been my heart pounding in my ears, but when she released me, I stepped back and looked around to find every Fae in the ballroom clapping enthusiastically and hugging one another. Meanwhile, the Vilkerlings stood stone still, watching me with dark, wide, eyes. Their world had just shifted out of alignment.
M’Tek and I didn’t remain at the ball much longer. After a few more dances, and once everyone had settled down again, she led me out through the garden door, past our doppelganger ice-fruit sculptures, and out to the cliffs. We stood, silently gazing out at
the Luminous Gulf, for what may have been hours or minutes, before M’Tek took my hand and led me down to our retreat embedded in the side of the cliff. It was an evening of unadulterated happiness, and worth every moment of what followed.
-CH 11-
I could not bring myself to leave M’Tek the subsequent morning, or even the following. Finally, six days after the close of the season, she offered to ride with me halfway to the pass. It was enough to motivate me. The Vilkerlings with me were restless and prickly. They wanted to leave Lareem Palace, and my guard was needed to bring them across Smugglers Pass unscathed. I considered sending my guards ahead with them, while remaining behind at Lareem with M’Tek, but that felt too much like running away. There were problems to be faced, and letting them germinate would only allow them to grow.
We set out in the early hours of morning, my company quiet, exhausted, and surly. Lord Roland greeted me in an awkward manner, and quickly found a position at the back of the formation, far from his usual place at my side. Instead, M’Tek rode along beside me, her Fae guard taking the front of our formation. M’Tek and I talked easily, as if we weren’t at the center of two armed and well trained factions that would gladly kill one another with the slightest provocation.
Before we rode very far, a scout from Lareem approached us. M’Tek left my side in order to learn the news. When she returned it was only to apologize. Apparently one of the villages along the border, south of us, was being overrun with Borderling raiders. She needed to organize a military party. She summoned Pet to take her place at my side, and then she and her guard turned back toward the palace.
My cohort and I rode on peacefully for the next few hours, meandering toward the pass. With M’Tek and her guard gone, the entire party seemed to relax. Those around me were still treating me with cold servility, but at least I didn’t read bloodlust in my companions’ eyes.
The Changeling Page 21
