by T. Rudacille
***
Darkness enveloped me, and in my dreams, Adam was bellowing in my face through a thin fog and squeezing my throat, telling me in his rage that I had led them there, that I had lied to him again, that Janna said I knew about this... But about what? I did not know what it was that I supposedly knew, but I was aware of the fact that I was dreaming, and yet his hands around my throat were constricting even more tightly, and I could not breathe...
I could not wake completely, either. My eyelids simply refused to open, despite how much force I was using to try to pull them apart. Panic gripped me and convinced me that I had died, he had killed me. My physical overpowering of him had convinced him that he had to kill me while I was asleep, otherwise it could not be done. Far off in the distance, I could have sworn that I heard Penny screaming. Tears built up behind my closed eyelids, and somehow, they seeped through. I could feel them streaming down my cheeks. She had seen. She had watched him kill me. Where was James? Had Adam killed him, too? Had Penny seen Adam kill James?
The trauma of seeing the two people she loved most in the world killed would be too much for her young mind. Adam had said that Penny may still age a few years, but that she would never surpass my fixed age. She would be stuck permanently in adolescence, where there were enough negative and tumultuous feelings without actual trauma to make her suffer. In what was perhaps the most cruel and torturous aspect of it all was the fact that Penny would become exactly like me, imprisoned by past traumas and believing herself to be incapable of breaking free from them. Already, I was praying that she found whatever inner strength I had had for so many years, whatever had helped me deal with it, but then, the only reason why I had dealt with it all was because I loved her so much…
“Penny…” I whispered, and after a second, my raspy voice strengthened, “Penny!”
I was stuck in purgatory, surely, in what was perhaps the same hellish realm inhabited by those who were turned into Shadows. I could feel the warmth of the living realm, I could almost reach it, reach her, but it was just one inch away from my reaching fingers, she was just one inch from my longing embrace; her ears were just out of the reach of my voice, so I could not tell her that everything would be alright, that she was strong, she would live, Violet would take care of her, James and I would be okay…
Was I dead, or was I drugged? If I were the latter, who could have drugged me? The last memory I could recall had been of James lying me down in bed, when my entire body had been so weighed down by heaviness and exhaustion, and he had made me sleep some of it off… I had to be dead. There was no other reason for my inability to wake or for my racing, nearly-conscious thoughts.
This is what happens, an icily cold voice that was not my own told me, when you live the way you have. After it’s all over, you stay forever stuck in your body, with a conscious mind, just thinking, thinking, thinking, but unable to move or speak. Just buried deep in the ground for years and years and years, feeling life just above you but so far out of your reach… This is what you deserve.
I tried to use my power, my coveted power, to see ahead or to see backwards, I could not be sure; I didn’t know where I was relative to space and time. Still, I covered my mind with a sheet of even blacker darkness and tried to See.
Torches in the woods, at least one hundred of them. How could we have known that their numbers were so many? All men, the faces of whom were distorted in blurs that made their black eyes elongate, save for a few: I could see Rich, Paul, and my father clearly. I could see the vastness of their mob clearly. All men, except for one.
When I awoke with a start, I was blinded by a harsh bright light and a cold voice.
“Well, good morning.” The lone female said, “We were beginning to worry he had done severe, irreparable damage. But I am glad to see that that is not the case, and I am thrilled to finally meet you, the famous Brynna Olivier. Or should I say 'infamous?' You're the expert in these matters, I'm told. What do you think?”
My head jerked forward, and I struggled to stand, only to find that my hands were cuffed behind the chair in which I had been placed.
“What…” My mind was still so foggy, “What are you talking… Who…”
I stopped before I had asked the question completely, because I already knew who she was.
Perfectly coiffed, long brown hair; a jack-o-lantern grin; bright blue eyes surrounded by crow’s feet; large golden cross perched between her prominent breasts... How could I not have known?
Mary Bachum.
Quinn
“Quinn! Alice! Get up!”
James was pulling us up onto our feet before we were even fully awake. I thumped back onto the floor, but Alice was standing up, her eyes wide, her hands flying up to push her hair away from her eyes. Being pulled out of her sleep was enough to scare her quite a bit. She was shaking and breathing heavily, but already starting to calm herself down. I jumped up and embraced her.
“Don’t take anything. Not even food. Violet! Nick!” James called out into the living room, “Not even food!”
“What?! James, what if we…”
“Then you’ll catch it, or find it, or make it. Don’t argue, Violet! Just put Penny’s coat on, and let’s go! Both of you get your coats on. That’s all you can take.”
“What?” Alice asked, “James, what’s…”
“They’re here. They’re coming in from the north. At least a hundred of them. A hundred guys are coming in. Now let’s go.”
I was too frazzled from being woken up so suddenly that I didn’t ask questions. But once we saw Nick scrambling around, trying to find Penny’s shoes and Violet fastening Penny’s coat while Penny cried and cried, I finally spoke up.
“Where is Brynna?”
“She’s here.” He replied quietly, looking furtively over his shoulder at Penny to make sure she wasn’t listening. Even though she wasn’t, his voice dropped to barely a whisper. “She’s not waking up. I’m going to have to carry her out.”
“What do you mean, she’s not waking up?!” Alice demanded hysterically, tears rushing into her eyes, “Is she…”
“Shh!” James hissed, “I will get her, but I need to get you all out first! That is what she and I planned to do, if this ever happened.”
“So, go get her and let’s go!” I ordered.
“No. I’ll come back for her. I’m getting you all out first, just like she and I agreed, and then I’ll come back for her.”
“James!” Violet exclaimed, “Just bring her now! Why would you wait?!”
“Goddamn it, Violet, how many times has she told you to stop arguing and just do what you’re told!?” He shouted at her. It was the first time he had ever shouted at her. That was actually the first time in my entire two years of knowing him that I had seen him so agitated, so out of control.
“She and I planned for this! If one of us was incapable of going, we would get all of you out first, and then come back! For once, just stop arguing and do what we say!”
Violet opened her mouth to yell back, but Nick grasped her arm.
“He’s right. Now let’s go.”
We were out in the freezing night air, walking as quickly as we could. We passed Tony and Tom, who were hurrying other families along, mostly those with children and elderly people.
“It’s ten klicks out,” Tom told James quickly, “If you sidestep the three hives.”
“Straight out, right?”
“Straight out. The three paths converge right into it.” Tony replied, “Where is Brynna?!”
“She’s sick. I don’t know. She wouldn’t wake up. I’m going back for her.”
“Should we stay?”
“No. You guys go. If you get caught here once they take over…” James started.
“It doesn’t matter, James.” Tony said, “If we can try to hold them off…”
“No. It’s okay. We’re not going to try to hold them off. We’re just going to go. Just like we planned when it was Adam out to kill us. Right?
”
They both nodded.
“We’ll see you there, man. All of you.”
Violet blew them both kisses, and then she furiously wiped away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. As James hugged Tony and Tom, and we all said our hopefully temporary goodbyes to them, my eyes were locked on one of the kids in the group that Tony and Tom were leading out of the village. He was grasping the arm of an old man and peeking out only slightly from behind him. Still, even being almost completely hidden, I could see him staring up at me with widened eyes. He wasn’t crying, though he was obviously very afraid. For some reason, I felt compelled to look at Violet, and when I looked at her, I saw that she was looking at the boy, too. There was something about him. Maybe it was because he wasn’t crying. Maybe it was because the only sign of his fear were his wide eyes that were lighter brown than any I had ever seen before. Maybe it was because he was gripping his grandfather’s hand so tightly. We both pitied him, even though he was the one out of his siblings who was most composed. Still, despite his exterior calm, I could not shake the feeling the look in his eyes had given me; even after we had walked in separate directions, I could still see that look in the darkness.
“I’m scared, James.” I heard Violet whisper very quietly after she had caught up to walk beside him. Her arms linked around one of his, and I watched James kiss her head twice. Clearly, there were no hard feelings between them after their earlier moment of disagreement.
“They’ll be alright.” He assured her softly, “We’ll be alright. Brynna and I planned for this, okay?”
Violet nodded.
“We’ve been lining these small paths to it with ash to keep the tree-beasts out. They’ll be along the path, and they’ll try to reach over, or to startle you into falling over the path. You just have to walk. Just keep going until you reach it.”
“Reach what, James?” Alice asked.
“Reach the bunkers.”
“The bunkers? When did you all find bunkers? How did you find them?”
“Sarah and Jaison took all of us there when they were leading the security group one day. What do you think I did in my Security job before I was put on Training but plan for the downfall of our peaceful state of living? We found three separate paths that converge into it, and once you’re there, go inside, and go as far down as you can. You got it? We’re trying to stagger people along each path so they don’t get too crowded. We’ve already gotten a bunch of people out over the previous days when we thought it was just Adam.”
“How come we didn’t know about this?” I demanded. Alice and I were on security detail, and we didn’t know a thing about their escape plan.
“Because it was only a few of us that could know. A couple Pangaeans, a couple of us. We always knew this wouldn’t last long. Alright, we’re here. Now just stay in single file. Quinn, Nick, keep the girls in the middle. Penny, you hold onto either Violet or Allie, whoever’s in front of you.”
“James…” Penny threw her arms around his middle, “I want to stay with you!”
He knelt down in front of her and held her to him.
“I want to stay with you and Brynna!” She cried into his neck.
“I know, baby. But we’ll be right behind you. It will be right when the sun comes up, and we’ll be there, I promise. I just have to get Brynna and a few things from home, and we’ll be right there. Tell me what you want me to bring you, and I’ll bring it to you.”
“Can you bring my sunflower quilt?” She asked, “And the stuffed dolphin you and Brynn got me from the yard sales the other day?”
He kissed her cheek.
“Of course I can, sweetheart.”
“Just come really soon, okay?” She said through her tears. “You and Brynn. Just hurry.”
“We will. We’re right behind you, baby. I promise.” He pulled away so he could grasp her face and kiss her forehead, “Hey… how much do I love you?”
Penny cried harder and tried to burrow her face into his neck again.
“Penny…” He wiped her tears away, “How much do I love you, baby?”
“More than every other girl in the whole world.” Penny answered.
“Would I ever trade you?”
“Not for any other girl in the whole world.” Penny replied.
“That’s right. I love you, baby. I love you so much.”
Penny threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him.
“I love you, too, Daddy.”
We weren’t shocked at her calling him “Dad” because she had slipped up a few times before. Slowly, she was beginning to recognize them as her parents. Even though we weren’t shocked, hearing her say it in that instance was enough to make Alice turn away so she could let tears fall from her eyes, Violet cry harder, and Nick and I look at each other, both of us getting choked up, too.
“I know.” James looked at us and nodded, and Violet grasped Penny around the middle as gently as she could and pulled her away.
“No. No! No!” She cried, reaching for James, “No! I want my Daddy! I want my Mommy! No!” She screamed.
“I’m sorry, Penny. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Violet cried as we carried her off into the trees.
Nick stood behind Violet with his hands on her shoulders, and Alice stood in front of her. I took Alice’s hand, and turned to face the forest, giving myself just one second to mentally prepare for the moment when I took that first step on that narrow pathway into those darkened woods.
“Daddy! Daddy!” Penny screamed, crying so hard now that her breaths were ragged and fast.
“Alright.” I said, my voice trembling, “Let’s do this.”
I held the torch out to light up the path and stepped into the darkness.
Violet
The whispering in the forest eventually drowned out Penny’s screams or at least, I couldn’t hear them anymore once the whispering of the trebestia started. Nick, Alice, Quinn, and I looked all around, waiting for them to emerge from one of the trees closest to the path. So far, we had been lucky, and they had not appeared, but the rhythmic thumping of my heart quickening and the heat of adrenaline surging through my body warned me that they were near and to remain alert.
“What did you say they were, Vi?” Nick whispered to me in a trembling voice.
“What?”
“The tree-people.”
“I don’t know. Brynna said that Adam said they’re the old spirits of the forest. They’ve been here for too long so they’ve gotten angry. Why?”
“I don’t know.” He said softly, “Maybe if I knew what they were, I’d be less afraid of them.”
“No. Knowing what they are—or what Adam thinks they are—doesn’t make me less afraid.”
“Adam is probably right about them. He has been alive for so long. He has explored the woods since he was a kid. That’s what he said.”
“Yeah. He said that there were originally just two of them. One man, and one woman. They set out to make their home in the deepest part of the woods. But something was hunting them. They thought it was the Shadows, because whatever it was, it was darkness. It brought darkness with it. But they held it off. They were determined to beat it, but they couldn’t. It overtook them, and scattered their souls into the trees, possessing them. Those two dark shapes were seen in all the trees, hunting anyone who stayed out after dark. They needed more souls. There are millions of trees in the forest. They needed more souls to scatter. So the first two tree-beasts started hunting, and now, there’s an angry, violent soul in every tree of the Shadow Forest, but they pull together in hives so they can swarm their targets. Like how they swarmed Brynn.”
I was telling the story almost against my will, knowing that if ever there were a place not to tell the scary legend of how Shadow Forest got its name, it was right in the middle of Shadow Forest. Still, I was telling the story, because hearing myself tell it was distracting me from the rapid, painful pounding of my heart, the tears in my eyes, the dryness of my mouth, and the tre
mbling that was rattling my entire body.
“You’re right.” Nick said, “That doesn’t make me less afraid.”
We were at least two miles into the forest before I realized that Penny was limp in my arms. When I pulled my head back to look at her, I found that her eyelids were drooping and her mouth was open slightly.
“Nick…” I muttered, “Look.”
He did, and then immediately beckoned for me to hand her over to him. I placed her in his arms, and the change of person carrying her didn’t provoke any change in her at all.
“Penny…” Very gently, he shook her, “Penny? Guys, wait!” He called to Alice, and she and Quinn stopped walking. When they turned back to us, their faces were cast in shadow by the torchlight. Where the light touched, I could see their quizzical expressions that were almost mirror images of each other’s. Where the darkness covered their faces, I could not see anything, not even the forest behind them. It was as though they were halfway in our realm and halfway out; they were partially in some other place where there was only that darkness.
“What’s wrong with her?” Alice asked, and carefully, they shuffled back to us, single-file, putting one foot in front of the other, heel to toe, to avoid accidentally stepping over the circle.
“Nick, what’s wrong with her?” I cried in a voice that shuddered and broke instantaneously. “Nick…” Now, as I said his name over and over again, my weakened voice faded in and out, like a lost radio transmission from some other time, calling out for help that needed to come with no delay or all would end.
“We just have to get to the bunker.” Alice said, “She’s still alive, Vi, so we need to get to the bunker, and then we can take care of her. She’s alright. We just need to go. Come on.”
When she turned around, the torchlight swung around with her. Illuminated within the circle of light was the blackened face within the tree: its eyes were the darkest pits within that pitch-black face, and thin, black vines hung down like scraggly hair. Slowly, a slit spread across its face, forming its mouth, and then, with twitching movements that made its body crack almost deafeningly, it broke free from the tree trunk and was standing right there in front of us, so close we all could touch it, and it could touch us. It was small, like a child, and when human eyes formed on its face, I recognized them. Somehow, I recognized them…
The family we had seen. The ones being helped out into the woods by Tony and Tom. The little boy whom I had looked at with the large brown eyes…. They were his widened, terrified eyes within that body of wood and vines. His fingers, elongated to several feet, still had a few stray shreds of skin on them, and at the very ends, right on the serrated, deadly-sharp points, I could see a few of his fingernails still clinging just barely, and blood dripping down from those that had been ripped off in his transformation.
The terror in his eyes quickly vanished as the last of him left, and then, I was staring into the glare of a hungry creature. That glare, the look the trebestia give when a human-like creature makes eye contact with them, is known planet-wide as the look that most easily steals our breath. Alice, Quinn, Nick, and I were frozen, absolutely paralyzed with fear, incapable of even drawing a full breath for them to steal.
In its whispering breaths, I could hear its rising and falling child-like voice still, but it sent shivers throughout me that squeezed my muscles, spurring them into action. It was talking to me, coaxing me, telling me that just over the ash-line, I would be safe. If I just took one step…
But they were all around us. The old man and woman we had seen. They were changed over, their eyes peering out at us through that black mask, their legs sickly thin and turning to wood; flesh, muscle, tendons, and veins were sliding and slithering to the ground in a stream of blood. I turned around, hearing bubbling, like water at a rapid boil. The acid within the stomach of the old man had eaten through his organs and then through his skin; heat inside him was contorting his natural functions, aiding them in eating him from the inside out. Slowly, black wood bandaged the wounds.
All I could think of was Brynna, the strongest person I knew, lying in a pool of blood and sweat, screaming, crying, and spitting in fear, grief, and rage she had never thought possible. She had been in so much pain, begging Adam to end it, to kill her so she could feel nothing, to stop her from being ripped and burnt… Crying for Luc, and screaming for James to stop Michael and my father… I didn’t have as much pain in my life to relive, but there was some. There was enough that if I was forced to experience the effects of the trebestia venom, I would succumb to the fear, grief, and rage; it would kill me.
When one of the tree-beasts lunged forward, we stumbled backwards, and I dropped Penny. Either Nick, Alice, or Quinn fell over the circle, right into the reaching branches of those beasts all around us.
“Penny! Penny!” I screamed, looking all around for her, but then, I was running, in the darkness, and she was screaming somewhere behind me, and Alice was to my left, running, sobbing, shrieking for help… The trebestia were behind us, but every time I looked back, I saw nothing; they moved within the trees, not out in the open. I could hear Nick shouting in German, his voice breaking from how loud and how desperately he was screaming. Quinn was shouting for Alice, his voice broken, too. And somewhere, Penny was screaming, and I had dropped her, and it was my fault. She stood no chance against them.
Knowing that suddenly, I turned back. I ran right into them, not fearing their venom-filled claws or the agonizing stupor the venom inflicted, but only fearing for Penny. The scratches down my back were made by fire-charred razors, it seemed. A chunk of flesh from my calf was ripped away by their teeth. I crumpled to the ground, defenseless, screaming with what I knew were my last breaths for Penny, for Brynna, for James, for my mother, for Maura… It was déjà vu; in another place at some other time—how long ago, I could not remember—I had been starving in the woods, and some other hellish creatures had attacked me viciously. I knew in both instances that if I died, I turned into one of them. If my heart stopped beating for even a second, I was theirs forever, and I would remember, however vaguely, being human. I would remember my love for Nick, my love for my family, my past, my dreams… Somewhere inside of me, those things would always remain. My humanity would always be there to haunt me, to remind me that I was held captive in death, and there was no going back.
A light as bright to my eyes as the Earthean sun broke over the forest, illuminating the sky. The trees rose above me and thinned to a pinpoint as they reached that white sky… Hands scooped me up, and arms carried me off, and the sky and the world were as empty as air, as white as nothing.
Nick was near me, dead or just about. Quinn and Alice were convulsing on the ground, not found or left behind, I didn’t know; I cried out for them once. And Penny was screaming and running, back to her real mother and father, back to where our enemies now held them prisoner. And I was in the arms of a stranger, spewing black froth from my mouth and seizing violently, eyeballs rolled back, but still able to see that white sky, those thin, black trees… My insides were so hot, boiling… I was changing over.
I may have been captured, or I may have been saved. Nick, Alice, and Quinn may have been alive, or they may have been dead. Penny would not make it back to our old home; she would be scratched; she would be a trebestia child, just like that little boy with the big brown eyes…
“Stop.” I murmured, “Just… stop…”
My eyes closed. My breathing hitched in my throat. My heart shuddered and ceased.
The white light went out, and there was nothing.
Brynna
Before I let it become fully known, before I spoke a word to the woman sitting across from me, I closed my eyes for just longer than a blink. In that one half-second, I forced my eyes to see in total darkness, to recall what had occurred around me while I was in that impossibly deep sleep.
James had gotten Violet, Penny, Quinn, Alice, and Nick out. The firelight illuminated the sweat that was falling down his face despi
te the almost brutal chill of the night. His eyes were widened, and his breaths were quickened; too much could happen, there were so many different ways tragedy could strike—they could have accidentally left a spot unfilled in their ash barrier; one or all of them could have been startled by the trebestia and fallen over into their waiting, lethal arms; they could have reached the bunker to find that the Old Spirits had already found it; the Old Spirits could have chased them into the woods and dragged them back; I could have been taken from the house before he could return to me… Beyond James, and beyond that moment when I saw him leading them to the tree-line, I felt Penny’s longing for James and me, and I lost my ability to breathe. If I had not ordered my mind to continue to grasp the vision, I would have been thrown out of it, back into the present. Penny’s body had become dead weight in Violet’s arms, and Violet was panicking, but once the trebestia appeared, her panic turned to petrification. When one—an old man whose human skin was still being shed in a bloody, pulpy mess—reached out for them, Violet dropped Penny and ran. And my little girl was left alone in the woods, surrounded by enemies and listening to what she thought was the slaughter of those she loved with all her little heart.
But my little girl was a smart little girl, and she did not follow them over the tree-line. She did not run towards Violet, who was screaming her name, whom she knew was returning to her. She turned and ran along the path, seeing clearly in the darkness the way we advanced beings can, going back to her Daddy and Mommy for help…
Her Daddy had reached me, and in a furious whirlwind of movement, he zipped around our house, dumping sundries from our freezer room and various cabinets into one bag until it was so full, he could barely lift it, and then, he filled a second bag with as much of our clothing as he could fit. And then, just before he came back to me, he went into Penny’s room, folded up her sunflower quilt, grabbed her purple, one-eyed, stuffed dolphin, and delicately placed them in the bag.
“Alright, baby,” He had whispered to me, and when he felt how icy my skin had become, he pulled the blanket around me and wrapped it tightly. But just as he was about to pick me up, the front door was kicked in and sent flying across our living room. Then, our bedroom door came down.
“That fucking traitorous whore!”
Adam zoomed forward and threw James against the wall. Then, he swung one leg over me so he was straddling my body and grasped my throat in both hands. I was gasping for air, but in the farthest corners of that sleep, I felt little of the discomfort.
“You brought them here! You led them right to us! Wake up! You will look at me when I throttle the life from you! You have done this! You have let them win!”
James lunged through the air and tackled him off of me, and while they were fighting, Rich and my father walked in. All three of us were carted off and placed in our village’s prison at the lowest level. Before I was freed from looking backwards, I had to search the present and find Penny… I had to see that she was alright, and then I would look around almost as frantically for Violet, Quinn, Alice, and Nick…
But the half-second had ended, and the stale air of the cell, contaminated by the sweat, sorrow, blood, rage, rot, and insanity of the previous inhabitants, nearly choked me. Of course, the sight of Mary Bachum’s slyly grinning face did not help settle my aggravated gag reflex.
“I have heard so much about you, Brynna. I would shake your hand, but…” She gestured towards me aimlessly, though her point was made. “You have given your dad quite a bit of heartache. You’ve given my husband, Paul, and Tyre a bit of a headache. From what Paul has told us, you are quite the fiery thing. Smart as a whip and as harsh as one, too.”
Whip. Vine. Her husband must have told her. Nice try, Mary Bachum, very nice try; you almost got into my head.
“I am sorry for the little game we had to play with you, but your father actually suggested that we give you a chance to join us. And Tyre, of course, was over the moon at that idea. He covets your power quite a bit, maybe even more so than Adam does. Though, I have to tell you, and I am not just saying this to break down the walls between us, but I told them it was too harsh. Making you think your mother was still alive would not only dissuade you from joining us, but it would be extremely harmful for you. Even though leaving her behind killed her, and that is a sin, you were under the influence of a very bad man.”
“Where is he?”
“Incapacitated, currently.”
“Incapacitated how?”
“That is really none of your concern, sweetheart. He is no longer your concern.”
“Why? Because now that we are under the rule of Tyre, James and I will no longer be allowed to see each other? To be together? We will have to sneak off in the dead of night and meet in back alleys and back rooms, where we will quickly make longing, passionate love to one another before we must tearfully head back to wherever you keep us? Will it be that ship that everyone is going on about? I must confess to you that it seems a tad garish to build such a monstrosity.”
“Perhaps you’re right, but the monstrosity is built. That doesn’t have to be where you go, Brynna. You can stay right here. With us. With Penny.”
I looked up at her, my eyes widened and staying wide.
“Where is she? Did she return here? Is she alright? What happened to Violet and the others?”
“She is back here, and she is alright. Well, she was not harmed in the woods save for a few scratches, but the trebestia could not catch her. She is in a cell a few down from yours. If we can come to an agreement here, I will bring her to you and release you both.”
“I am not going anywhere without James.”
“You wouldn’t leave him behind even if you and the little girl who is like your daughter would be saved?”
“No, because we are no safer out there than we are in here.”
“What makes you say that?”
I snorted in derisive disbelief.
“Please. Like you don’t know that we took in some of your refugees.”
“To whom are you referring? That arrogant nuisance, Savannah Mack, and her children?”
“Them, amongst others. Maura was brought back here by Violet.”
“And she is dead now, from what our people told us. Your savage leader killed her.”
“Your savage leader allowed her to be raped and beaten repeatedly and brutally!” I snapped, my eyes flashing red and my voice rising to a shout. “While I would have preferred that Don had never laid a hand on her, at least she was able to die! You did not even allow her that!”
“She died with you beside her, I hear.”
“Yes.” I snapped, “Just me. She never expressly told me what you all had done to her, but the evidence of it was written all over her. The bruises and lacerations told me she had been physically assaulted relentlessly. The rest of it I could see when I looked in her eyes!”
“When you read her mind?”
“No, believe it or not. I have heard that my father spilled all our family secrets to you people up there, so you know what happened to me when I was young. Once something like that happens, one will always know when it has happened to someone else. And when I hated her the most, I always thought that I wanted her to experience what I had, but I did not. Once it had happened to her, I realized that I could never have wanted her to be hurt that way.”
“I know.” She reached across the table like she was going to grasp my hands, but they were handcuffed behind me. She never showed any recognition of that fact, nor did she move her hands away. “Brynna… I am so sorry that happened to you.”
“You are not. You allow women to be assaulted that way all the time. You, as a woman, should be doing everything in your power to stop such atrocities from happening, but you egg them on. You relish it, knowing that ‘stubborn’ women will be broken in that way.”
“I don’t relish it, Brynna!” She snapped breathlessly, shocked and horrified that I would say such a thing. “I hate it. I hate that it has to be done. As a woman,
I do everything in my power to bring the women under my husband’s rule to a deeper understanding of why they must obey. They answer to their husbands. Their husbands answer to Rich and Tyre. Everyone answers to someone, and consequences for rule-breaking are as equally severe for everyone, Brynna. It is not just women. That is a lie that has been fed to you by…”
“By Violet? You forget; Violet was in your camp. She saw what you do.” I leaned forward, my body beginning to tremble with rage. “You tried to marry off a seventeen-year-old girl to a boy she had known at the time for only a year. If you think I don’t know what you would have made them do once they are married, then you clearly do not understand the full extent of my mental capacities. So, please, don’t give me this ridiculous speech about how everyone is equal in your camp.”
“Violet has been having quite a hard time since coming here. This village is now known in all of our circles throughout Purissimus as a cesspool of moral degradation, and your little sister is an example of that, isn’t she? What she did to that doctor…”
“How do you know about that? Did your spies tell you?”
“No, Brynna. Caspar Elohimson told me. When he confessed all his sins and begged to join our ranks. And do you know what we did, Brynna? We accepted him with open arms. That is something his father never did.”
“His father sent him to the other bases, and he came to you?”
“Of course he did. He knew deep down that we would accept him. We would love him. We would take care of him. All he had to do was confess his sins, and he would be one of ours. He would be a part of our family.”
“Sure. You are enjoying this, aren’t you? Is it nice for you, Mary, sitting atop your throne? Sitting over top of every other woman?”
“Brynna, I do feel badly for you.”
“Answer my question.”
“No, you need to let me finish my thought from earlier, because honestly, sweetheart, I have been dying to say this to you since your father confessed everything to our village: Your parents and Maura treated you awfully. They knew about the terrible thing that had happened to you, and yet when your brother died because you lost yourself in that terrible thing, they blamed you. When he confessed it, I wanted to slap him. When she confessed that it was her husband that had done it, and she said that she had covered her ears…” She drew in a deep breath and expelled it, shaking her head slightly. “Yes, I did let them show her what it was like.”
“And what did you show him, for being guilty of almost the same crime?”
“He received lashings.”
“But he was not beaten and raped, too? He did not have multiple strange men violating him in that way, over the course of many days?”
“Of course not!”
“Exactly. ‘Of course not.’”
“But he broke. She didn’t.”
“How did he break?”
“He cried. He apologized. He said that he would try to find the strength in himself to forgive you, and once he forgave you, he would put things right. That is what he is trying to do now.”
“So he goes about ‘putting things right’ by allowing his chums to lie to me about my mother being alive?”
“We needed Adam and Janna. We told him he had no choice but to let us use you to get to them. We had to get them by whatever means necessary. But let’s not talk about that. You know, Rich and I have had very heated arguments about you. When I found out what he had done to you in the woods several months ago, I made him leave. You do not deserve such things even if you were being disrespectful, Brynna.”
“Don’t I?”
“Of course not. God, your life has been so hard. I know it has. You poor thing. Has anyone said that to you? Has anyone told you how sad it all is? Your life was stolen from you, Brynna. Any normal life you could have had was taken away, and you were never given a chance to get it back. I am going to confide something in you that I have only ever confided in my husband: The same thing happened to me when I was young.”
I have to admit, even though it sickens me today to say it, she had my full attention at that point and a tiny smidgeon of my pity.
“It wasn’t my godfather, though. It was my Sunday school teacher’s husband.”
Now, she had managed to sufficiently shock me. Briefly, I tried to warn myself that she might be lying, but as I had told her, I had—and still do have—an undeniable ability to recognize in others the signs of having survived such a trauma. As she talked about it, her hands came up to fiddle nervously, almost compulsively, with her cross, and her eyes diverted from mine and hazed over.
“It was only once, but God, that was enough. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you. Especially because your parents neither comforted you nor took action against the man who did it. Do you want to know what my father did? My father killed the man who did that to me. He went to jail for the rest of his life, despite what that disgusting man had done, and I spent my entire life going to the jail to visit him. Every Sunday. I’d go to mass, and then I’d go see him. We’d talk and laugh like nothing had ever happened. I told him everything. When it came time for Rich and me to get married, Rich went to the jail and asked him for his permission. And Rich said that my dad cried and cried, saying yes, of course, but also that he was so sad that he wouldn’t be there to walk me down the aisle. But he also said that he was happy, because not only would he have his daughter there on Sundays, but his son, too. And we were there. We visited him every Sunday until the day he died. That was three years before our world ended. I’ve never cried so hard in my life. It was just a heart attack, totally random, couldn’t have been stopped or prevented. But on the visit before he died, he was pale and sad, and I knew something was wrong. So I asked him. He said, ‘Mary, every night I think I hear you screaming. I think I hear you screaming. It’s my punishment from God, I guess, for letting that happen to you. I deserve it.’ Of course, I told him that was ridiculous, but maybe God does punish those who are responsible for the child who is abused. Those who didn’t see it coming. Who didn’t prevent it. So your father has suffered. The same way my father suffered. Though, of course, my father did handle it. He handled it the only way he knew how. Your father turned his back on you, and that is… vile.” She closed her eyes for a second, and when she opened them again, I had to look away, because there were two single tears shimmering in her eyes.
“I am so sorry you went through that alone. I am so, so sorry, Brynna.”
I gaped at her, so unsure of what to say. Even more so than when she had first confessed her secret to me, I pitied her. The truth of her account was undeniable, and my empathy with her was as undeniable as that truth. Still, I could not show it. I could not afford to admit out loud to her that I had been touched by her story. Still today, I do not admit it out loud very often.
“You still went to church after that? After a man affiliated with the church, however indirectly, hurt you so terribly?”
“Of course.” She said with a laugh as she wiped her eyes, “It’s not God’s fault, Brynna. It’s the devil’s.”
I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. To bring myself back to the level of loathing I needed to feel in order to avoid succumbing to my new soft feelings for her, I reminded myself that despite what had happened to her, she had allowed women to suffer the same awful pain. That was easily enough to make me forget that pity I had felt for her.
I knew beyond any doubt that I would not allow even my worst enemy to be harmed in such a way. That was where Mary and I differed, and it was that area of difference that was so profound. That is why my pity for her was so easily dispersed.
“Where are Adam and Janna?” I asked, to change the subject, “Have you all killed them?”
My heart skipped frantically. I knew that Adam had tried to kill me while I was asleep, a mere day after accidentally shooting me, and still, I worried that they had killed him. Something was very seriously wrong with me…
“No. It turns out that Tyre is more forgiving t
han his former friend. If Adam captured Tyre, he would kill him publicly and—”
“Which is exactly what Paul said you all were going to do to Adam.”
“Paul was mistaken.”
“I am sure.”
“You are so cynical.” She said with a smile.
“What about gay people? Do you stone them to death?”
“Oh, Brynna…” She laughed, “I find it hard to believe that someone as brilliant as you bought these stories Adam told you… They’re so ridiculous!”
“I am sure you are going to say that because murder is a sin, how could good religious folk like you ever murder anyone, even God’s undesirables?”
“That is close to what I was going to say, actually.”
“So, what about Eric?”
“Eric?”
A sound, part scoff, part laugh, escaped me.
“You don’t even remember him? He is the man you sacrificed to your God in front of an entire congregation of people.”
“The one your sister saw?”
“Yes.”
“That is not murder. Sacrifice is necessary to appease…”
“Was it necessary on Earth, Mary? Did you and Rich go to your Sunday masses and sacrifice people to God?”
“No, but maybe we should have! Maybe the Earth would still be here if we had!”
“Maybe not. Your creed falls right in on itself with the slightest push from me, Mary. How you can build your life on so shaky a foundation, I will never know. There were many on Earth who believed in the same God in which you believe. They were good people, smart people, capable of reading that Book and molding their lives around it, but only for good, not for this. You are the worst of all faithful people. You are the ones who read the whole thing cover to cover and get nothing out of it but what you want out of it. Now, I consider myself a bit of an expert in world religions, so let me give you an education on yours: all you are supposed to do is love people. How hard is that? That is all that your God expects. That is all you need to do to appease Him. The saddest thing about all of you is that you know that, and still you insist on having nothing but hate in your hearts for anyone not like you. It is sad that your group of crazies, which is now so large but on Earth was so small, makes all of you look so awful. Extremism is not a good look for anyone.”
“You think we’re extremists?”
“I know you’re extremists.”
“You think we don’t love each other? Love everyone? Love even all of you, our enemies? Brynna, why do you think we haven’t killed you or any of them? It’s because we love you, and because we know you all can be saved through our love.”
“And through beatings, rape, imprisonment, and other nasty things, right?”
“Whatever it takes. And that’s not what you want. You don’t want to be stubborn, do you?”
“I want to see James and Penny.”
“You will not see James anymore. I will bring Penny to you after we reach an agreement.”
“To what would I be agreeing?”
“You would be agreeing to let go of the life you have lived here. You will forget about Don Abba, Adam, Janna, and the rest of them. In place of them, you will have Penny, Savannah, Rachel, Joe, and once we find Violet, Nick, Alice, and Quinn, you will have them, too. You will live under our laws, none of which are as awful as you are making them out to be, by the way, and that is all we ask.”
“And I will never see James again?”
She paused for a long time.
“No.”
Never before in my life had I ever wanted more desperately to throw my arms around him. My eardrums seemed to rattle, needing to hear his voice. I couldn’t imagine, even though I had seen it in my mind so many times, living without him. To have that threat made was enough to steal my breath.
Brynna…” She reached across the table like she wanted to grasp my hands again. “It’s indecent. He is old enough to be your father. What would your mother say?” She leaned closer to me, “What are you thinking?”
My mind and heart burned at her mention of my mother, at her proclamation that James and I were indecent. There was nothing more for us to discuss. The conversation was over, absolutely.
“I am thinking, you self-righteous, hypocritical, sadistic, chauvinistic, pathetic, empty-headed pig, that I love him infinitely more than you have ever loved all of the things in your sad excuse for a life combined, and that if it’s indecent to an accomplice of rape and torture, then it must be the most decent thing in the world. The same can be said for everything you people find indecent. If you hate it, it must be what God loves. Thank you so much, Mary Bachum, for reaffirming for me all of my lifelong beliefs.”
There was genuine disappointment in her eyes. There was sorrow. It did not dissolve the almost tangible murderous rage that I was allowing to flow unchecked into the room. But it did surprise me, to see it there.
“So, that is it?” She asked calmly, “You’d rather be an animal than be a civilized, productive member of this society, living happily with Penny? For him?”
“I will not bring Penny up out there, where there is the most miniscule possibility that she will end up like you. You will not steal that little girl from me, in any way. And you will not steal him, either.”
She exhaled slowly through her nose and crossed her arms. Still, when she spoke, her voice was soft and calm.
“You would rather be an animal? A savage?”
“Yes.” I said venomously, “I absolutely would rather be a savage.”
“Well, guess what, Brynna? Even though you insist on being a savage, I still love you. I still love you, and I will fix you. Together with God, I will fix you. You will be saved, because I love you.”
I contorted my face into a grimace of sorrow so transparently fake, I was sure she would not fall for it. But when I leaned forward, she leaned towards me, too, and that is when I struck. My fangs shot out. I screeched so loudly that the sound shattered the two-way mirror, revealing Rich, Paul, and Tyre standing there, Rich looking terrified for his wife and Tyre and Paul looking impassive. Because she didn’t realize quickly enough that I would change over, she could not get away. Our faces were parallel, and I closed the space between us.
And then I sunk my teeth down hard into her makeup-smeared cheek until I could feel them scraping against her cheekbone. My ears did not recoil at the sound of her shriek; instead, they drank in the sound like it was the most perfect song ever sung. My whitened eyes rolled back for a few seconds, and the soft sighing and humming noises that we sometimes make when we bite into something left me. Her blood dribbled down my chin and down my throat, and before I pulled away completely, I licked her face from her chin, up over the wound, to her eye, tasting her blood and tears.
After my fangs retracted, I finished my attack with a cavalier response to what she had said to me:
“Oh, Mary…” I smiled, “I love you, too.”
“You will burn in hell!” She shrieked as she jumped up, holding her face in both hands.
“You monster! You animal!”
And finally…
“You… you… bitch!”
Her fist was closed when she backhanded me with it across the face. Before she could hit me again, Rich, Tyre, and Paul had come into the room. Tyre grasped Mary’s fist and held a towel to her face. When he nodded his head, Paul took Mary in his arms and ushered her out, shushing her when she began to sob, telling her that the doctor was known as the best in the world, and he would make her fix it; Mary would be patched up in no time.
And for some reason, I felt the slightest pang of guilt. It was over before I could even fully acknowledge that it was there, but after it was gone, it left a residual discomfort within my chest that did not dissipate even when my eyes registered the sight of Rich storming towards me, both fists clenched at his sides. When his body collided with mine, my chair flipped backwards. My wrist that had only just been healed snapped again, but I stifled the scream that bubbled up like
vomit. His hands were on my throat, and he was shaking me by it, slamming my head into the floor.
“Rich…” Tyre was saying, “Rich…”
“You just wait until he lets me sort you out! You just…” He punched me square in the nose, and blood began to gush down my face, “fucking…” He punched me again, and the room blurred, “wait!”
“RICHARD!” Tyre shouted, and I kid you not, several pieces of glass still clinging to the mirror-frame crashed to the floor. “Leave us. Now.”
“No!” Rich barked, “You can’t expect me to let her get away with what she just did to Mary! You can’t expect that!”
“I do expect it…” Tyre growled, and the hair on my arms raised. Something told me that disobeying him specifically was met with consequences far worse than death. “And do not ever say ‘no’ when I give you an order again, lest you wish to eat your own tongue, Richard Bachum.”
I knew that that was not an expression; he meant it literally.
Rich stormed out of the room, his mind screeching his utter hatred of me and his promises of revenge. I was so distracted listening in on his gruesome and degrading ideas for making me pay for what I had done that I did not realize Tyre had sat my chair up and removed my handcuffs.
“Come now. Let me see.” Rather gently, he pulled my wrist away from my chest where I was cradling it so protectively. I flinched terribly when he delicately wrapped both hands around the broken bone, expecting him to twist or apply pressure to it. Instead, he sent a sudden surge of icy healing power into it that flew rapidly up to my broken nose. After both the bones were repaired, he walked to the shattered mirror, reached into the room behind it, and pulled another towel out, which he wet in the sink and used to dab the blood from my face. After the second of shock at his tenderness had worn off, I snatched the towel away and began to dab it off myself.
“Come. Stand up. Come with me.”
With his swift hands, he pulled me to my feet. He wrapped one arm around my back and steadied me when I wobbled on my feet. After a second, he ushered me out of the room. Though I was still rather disoriented from being beaten, I did make a mental note of how many cells we passed and of every turn we made. After several staircases and long hallways, he stopped at a door and turned to me.
“I am open to negotiating with you. Mary was sure that she could convince you to accept what she wanted from you, but I was never convinced. So, I will negotiate with you, if you give me a reason to do so. Alright?”
I did not respond, but he opened the door anyway.
My heart was set off, thundering against my chest when I saw him.
“Brynn!” He went to rush towards me, but Tyre grabbed my arm.
“Against the wall, Maxwell.” Tyre told him calmly, “Against the wall, or I take her back out.”
Instantly, he backed up and put one hand on the wall. Tyre gently pulled me forward and put me into the room with him.
“Go.” He told me, and I rushed forward and threw my arms around James’s middle. He kept one hand on the wall until Tyre had backed out through the door. Once the door was closed, he let go of the wall and wrapped both arms around me.
“Are you okay?” He asked quickly, and after he pulled away from me, he kissed me twice and then pushed my hair back from my face. Taking note of the blood that I had been unable to wipe off, he asked, “Who was it?” and if the sudden red that had come over his eyes was any indication of what he would do to the person responsible, I could surmise that it would be utterly brutal.
“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because Tyre healed me, and I’m here with you, and…”
The sudden urge to cry forced me to expel the breath I had been holding. For a second, I continued to breathe heavily, realizing now that it wasn’t an urge to cry but a panic attack coming on.
“Alright… Okay…” He ushered me over to sit on the cot in the corner of the room. “We’re okay, baby. You’re here…”
“Yes, until they separate us again! Mary told me that she is not going to let me see you again. They want to separate us. We’re indecent, she says.”
He chuckled to himself, and I looked up at him, frowning.
“I am sorry, but I find the idea of being separated from you positively dreadful, and you’re laughing, so what am I to…”
“Baby…” His kiss cut off my tirade before it had begun, “You know that’s not why I’m laughing. I know you’re going to say that I don’t appreciate the gravity of the situation, but I do. I’m laughing because for her to call us indecent is actually a compliment to us, and I feel more validated now about our relationship than I did before, and I felt pretty damn validated.”
“I said the same thing to her! I said that if we’re indecent, and all the others that they deem indecent are indecent, then we must be doing everything right. So, you and me, Tony and Tom, the people in our group who are Muslims, or atheists, or even just regular, non-extreme Christians, we’re all ‘indecent,’ so we must be the most decent things in this world or the last.”
“You’re right.” He chuckled again, “Indecent…”
“Indecency… Transgression… Subversion… We are menaces to the public, James Maxwell. All of us.”
He kissed my forehead, and after I looked up at him, he kissed my lips gently.
“We are, Brynna Olivier, and no matter what they do to us, we have to continue to be. Do you agree?”
“Of course I agree.”
“They’re going to try to separate us. They’ll try to turn us against each other, and we can’t let that happen.”
“That could never happen. Not to you and me.”
“I know. We know that now, and we have to know it in the following days or months, through whatever they do to us.”
“Or we could try to escape. We’re evolved; they’re not.”
“Tyre’s people are evolved. They use their powers only when absolutely necessary.”
“Well, then they’re out of practice.”
“Baby…” He grasped my hands, “We can’t.”
“What do you mean, ‘we can’t?’ What are we supposed to do? Allow them to subject us to whatever they want? You know what they’re going to do. I certainly know. If I close my eyes and try even very slightly, I can look forward and see what they’re going to do.”
Just as the words left my mouth, a shudder convulsed my body. His arms were around me before I could wrap my own around myself.
“They are going to make you watch, James. It will take many of them to hold you back, but they will, and they will hold your head up and force you to watch. Now that I have assaulted Mary Bachum, Rich will make sure that what happens to me is worse than what happened to Maura. And Rich said…” My voice fractured; I couldn’t say it, I couldn’t possibly hear it out loud, not even in my own voice. I couldn’t fathom the possibility of it, so when I spoke again, it was barely a whisper, “Rich was thinking that he would make Penny watch, too.”
“No.” He told me firmly, murderously. “I will never let that happen. Any of it. No one is going to hurt you, and no one is going to hurt her. It would take all of them to hold me back.”
I actually laughed softly to myself; my body and mind were so exhausted already, and the whole bloody ordeal had barely gotten underway.
“Be realistic, sweetheart.”
“You don’t think that’s realistic?” He snapped at me, and I did not snap back defensively as I would have any other time. All I did was let him make empty promises to me that it did not matter how many of them tried to hold him back, he was evolved, he would break free, he would kill them all if they laid a hand on me.
“Tyre is more sensible than we have been led to believe. If he brought you to me, then it shows he is willing to make a deal.”
“He said he is willing to negotiate, but what he wants from us I will never agree to.”
“What does he want?”
“I told you, Mary said that she wants us to never see each other again. W
e can assume that they all agree on that point. Now, perhaps this is just me, but I would rather stay locked in these cells forever, or I would rather suffer whatever it is they have in mind for me than to live out there, where I can never be with you, where I can never even look at you, or speak your name…”
“Brynna…” He said.
“What?! You think that’s unreasonable? You think that is against all logic? You think it is antifeminist? You think it shows a far too heavy reliance on you? You think it shows that I am stupid? Dependent?” I paused, feeling tears in my eyes suddenly. “Weak?”
“Baby…”
“I know all of that. I know what it makes me. You are my greatest weakness, James, and I have known that from the first time you kissed me that night on the ship, until right now, right this very second. I knew, even way back then, that one day, my love for you would be someone’s greatest weapon. It would be turned against me. My love for you, my love for Penny, my love for all of you, gives them all the power they need over me. You all are their ammunition. Soon, they are going to try to break me of this ‘stubbornness.’ Of this ‘indecency.’ They will want me to break, but they also won’t want me to break. And I won’t. I absolutely won’t.”
“If it’s the only way that you’re going to be safe, Brynna…”
“I won’t be safe! I won’t be anything, James. If I let them break me of not only my love for you but of who I am, then I won’t be anything.” I reached up and put my hand on his face. “I’ll be the same shell that Maura was when we got her back. It may be stupid and proud, but I will never break. Will you?”
With the tips of his fingers, he pushed my hair back and tucked it behind my ear.
“If it would save your life, Brynna… If it would save you from what you say they are going to do, what I know they’re going to do…” His other hand clasped gently around my own before he entwined his fingers with mine, “I’d give them whatever they want.”
I was utterly dumbfounded. He had always been so adamant about remaining defiant in the face of tyranny, be it Don’s, Adam’s, or our enemies who were currently upon us. Now, he was admitting to me his desire to surrender. Yes, it was for my benefit. Yes, he thought it would protect me. But I was more than capable of making the decision for myself whether I wanted to bend to their will, whether I was willing to accept their torture and hold to my convictions regardless of the pain they would inflict upon me. Was that stupid? Certainly. Was it proud? Absolutely. Did I expect him to be stupid and proud with me? I had not just expected it; I had known that he would, or so I had thought.
“I love you so much, Brynn. All this time, these past two years, I have loved you. I can’t let them hurt you because of it. I can’t let them do what they did to Maura because you won’t tell them that you won’t see me anymore.”
“James, this is my decision. This is my…”
“Well, your decision is wrong!” He shouted, and I jumped because the sudden rise of his voice and his temper had taken me completely off guard. “It’s stupid! It is a child’s decision, Brynna! You’re being stubborn even though they are threatening your life! They will not just kill you, don’t you know that?! Did Adam not tell you that?! Has Savannah not told you that?! You saw what they did to that woman you found! Were the bruises and the half-cut-off tongue not enough to show you just what they’re capable of?! And that was to some random woman who just wouldn’t accept the man they were trying to marry her off to, and you are you! You’re Don’s second-in-command! For a while, you were Adam’s favorite girl in the world. You think they’ll just kill you?! They will drag it out, make you unrecognizable physically and mentally, and then, only after you’re completely destroyed, they’ll kill you. Now, I know that because you’re so stubborn, it will take them days and days and days to break you in the way they want to break you. You’ll keep saying you love me, you’ll never say that you won’t see me again, you’ll swear that the second they turn their backs, you’ll be running back to me. You’ll tell them their creed is bullshit, and that their God is a lie, and that no matter what they do, you’ll never bow down to them. I know that’s what you’re going to say, because that is exactly what I would say. But if they torture me, Brynna, I’m going to do the smart thing: I am going to tell them what they want, and I am going to keep living, and pray that maybe, someday, all of this will pass, and on that day, I will be right back with you, and I will spend the rest of our eternal lives trying to make up the time that they took from us. I will…” His voice broke, and tears immediately began to fall from his eyes; he could not stop them, not then. “I will think about you, Violet, and Penny every day until it’s all over. If I ever see you, the sight of you will rip me apart. I’ll try to hold onto you in any way possible. Every day, I’ll ache for you. But at least you’ll be alive for me to see, even if the sight of you does rip me apart. At least you won’t have been hurt in the worst possible ways all over again. If I tell them what they want, then you keep living. If I tell you right now that we’re over, that’s one less thing they’ll have on you. If what they want is for you to tell them that you won’t see me, then I am telling you that you won’t see me.”
I turned away from him, needing a moment to process all that was being said. What I wanted, more than I had ever wanted anything else in my entire life, was a chance to go back to earlier that day, to before I had fallen into that deep sleep. I had known that some dark foreboding was begging for my attention, but I had been so exhausted that I had ignored it. Now, we were paying the price.
“James…” I said, and I still don’t know, to this day, what it was that I wanted to say. All I know is that it was then that I began to cry.
From behind me, he wrapped his arms around my middle and pulled me back to him. His embrace tightened as his lips kissed me up my arm, over my shoulder, and up my neck to my ear slowly.
“I love you… more than anything, Brynna Olivier. I would die for you… I would live without you… I would do anything… just so you would be safe. So you would have a chance at happiness.”
“And what if, James Maxwell, I can’t be happy without you?”
“You can. I know you can.”
“Can you be happy without me?”
“No.”
“Do you think that Penny can be happy without you?”
“Yes, I do. Of course I do.”
I turned to him and threw my arms around his neck. We stood there and cried, our tears falling together, our lungs expelling deep breaths but our voices not making a sound. We cried in the same reserved way, and I had never realized it until then. We were so similar in so many ways, him and I.
“I would have said yes, you know.” I whispered, and my breaths hitched as I cried harder.
He cried harder, too, and kissed my cheek.
“Yeah?”
“Yes. A million times, yes. For a million years, yes.”
He nodded, and then his hand ran down to rest on the small of my back. He pulled me closer and with his other hand, he lifted my head so I was looking at him. Then, he kissed me, holding his lips to mine for a long time.
“We’ll still have a million years.” He whispered, “I promise. I promise you a million years.”
I kissed him hard, and when the door opened, and Tyre returned to pull me away, I struggled to hold onto him. Paul was behind Tyre, barking at James to back up and put his hands on the wall again, but his arms were locked tightly around me, and mine were locked around him. Over and over again, he whispered to me through his tears, “A million years, a million years, a million years.”
