With shaking hands, I pulled out my phone to call Jack. I wiped tears from my eyes as I thought about how this would affect him. I was pretty sure she was the only family he had, and now—well, there was no one at all.
“Do you have her son’s contact information?” Carla asked me.
“Actually, I do. And he’ll be back soon.” I accepted the tissues she handed me. “Can I stay here with her until he comes back? It shouldn’t be too long and I’d hate for him to have to go see her in the morgue.”
“Sure, I don’t think we need this room right now, but they won’t let her stay longer than an hour. Sorry about that. You know hospital policy though,” she pointed at my nametag.
“Yes, thanks for the extra time. I’ll stay here to keep watch for him.” I walked back to my chair and sat down. The Doctor had arrived and Carla started unhooking her from all the monitors. Dr. White checked her vital signs to confirm she’d passed away then signed the death certificate on his clipboard. He made notes about the time of death and suspected cause—it was a sad thing to see.
I silently prayed as I texted Jack, asking him when he’d return. I didn’t want to text him to say that his mother had died. Nor did I want to tell him on the phone. I thought it’d be best to tell him in person, and he wouldn’t be much longer, anyway. I sat in the room with Nellie and looked at her silhouette under the sheet. She’d missed so much in her life. She’d given up a relationship with her son for a selfish life of alcoholism and promiscuity. Now, Nellie would never know how successful her son would become, or how hard he’d tried to do something positive with his life.
I cried quietly. I cried for Nellie—a woman who lost her way in life, and then I cried for Jack. I didn’t have a clue about how he really felt, but he had to love his mother, no matter how she’d treated him, and this loss would hurt—no way around that. I picked up the phone and called Natalie. I was blessed to have her as a friend—actually, she was more like a sister than a friend. As always, she listened and offered the best advice she could.
“You take your time and stay with Jack. Call me if you need me. Oh, that reminds me. Mr. Jernigan called. He asked you to call him when you could.”
“Thanks for listening, Nat. I’ll call him in a minute.”
“OK, bye now.” Natalie hung up and I stared at the clock. After about fifteen minutes, I called Mr. Jernigan, just to kill some time. He didn’t answer, so I left a message and before I hung up, I said, “I know Jack is signing his contract today, so if you happen to see him, will you ask him to call me urgently? His mother—well, there’s a problem with his mother.” I left my phone number and hoped to hear something soon.
I sat back in the chair and tears rolled down my cheeks. This had been a terrible end to what started as a good day.
Chapter Six — Jack
I scrawled my signature across the bottom of the page and Sylvia and I paused for a photograph. I’d just committed two years of my life to Redemption Road and all that entailed. My attorney, Ferris Jernigan, came to review everything and signed off on it.
“That’s a great contract Jack. They have a few things in there that you have to remember—no drugs and no arrests. That’s it. You have six major races that you must attend, so that is a lot of traveling but luckily, Stockton is footing the bill. You did well!” He smiled and seemed to be genuinely happy for me.
“That’s good to hear. I trust you on that, and by the way, how come you never told me that you were Mollie DuBois’ attorney?”
His laugh was rich and deep. “You two figured that out, huh? Well, for one thing, that’s called client-attorney privilege, Jack, but I was a good friend to the late Mrs. DuBois and I promised Mollie’s mother that I’d look out for her. She was a wonderful lady who deserved much better than she got. I didn’t want to see old man DuBois ruin someone else’s life. He’s kind of an ass.”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “Thanks, sir. I appreciate it, and I know Mollie does, as well.”
“Splendid!” he said in his deep, resonating voice. I made a mental note that I had to remember to tell Mollie what he’d said.
“Come on, Jack! We want photos of the entire team!” All five of us had signed today with two more substitutes to follow. I only remembered their first names, Colton, Randall, Freeman and Wyatt. We’d be competing for the Redemption Road Cup and each one of us would get a feature spot in all the media outlets. It seemed like a dream come true.
Mr. Jernigan stepped back into the room and waved at me during a pause in the photo session. “Excuse me,” I said, and followed the attorney into the hallway.
“Miss DuBois says you need to contact her as soon as you can. Something about your mother.”
I felt the blood disappear from my face. “Yeah, Nellie is in the hospital. Alcohol poisoning. I guess I’d better get back down there. Can you let the team know, please?”
“Sure thing. Call me if you need me.”
As soon as I could, I left the downtown high rise to head to the hospital. I was worried about Nellie—and Mollie for that matter.
Mollie was back, but would she back for good? I didn’t know—Dylan was in the picture now, but I was going to give it my best shot. Mollie had absolutely no idea what an impact she’d made on me. She was my inspiration and my hope. It had been her beautiful face I’d seen in my dreams. The long nights I couldn’t sleep because I was working on the Chevy, it was her beautiful smile on my mind. She was the first thing I thought of in the morning and the last thing I thought of at night. Mollie. I didn’t think about any of the groupies that hung out with the racers…just Mollie. Now life was better for both of us, and it only made sense that we’d be together.
Except for Dylan. Fuck. That dude was always in my fucking way.
I had visions of grabbing Mollie, putting her in my car and driving off into the sunset, never to been seen or heard from again—or just running him over with my car—not to kill him, of course. Just to hurt him. Maybe I should have a heart-to-heart with him and give him the facts. That fact being, she was my girl and not his. Suck it up like the little bitch he was. Yeah, well…that probably wasn’t going to happen. I had to do this like an adult. No street fighting. No hustling. No fucking around.
Just like everything else in my life, I’d have to fight for Mollie the hard way and I was more than ready to do that. She was mine and she belonged with me. I felt like a million bucks as I stepped into the elevator at the hospital—maybe Mollie and I could celebrate later. I walked out onto the fifth floor and made my way to Nellie’s room. My smile vanished when I saw Mollie leaning against the wall outside. I froze. I knew what was coming and I figured if I stopped and didn’t go any further, I wouldn’t have to deal with it. I could turn around, walk away right now and not have to know, but that wouldn’t be fair to Mollie. She didn’t have to say a word—her eyes told me everything I needed to know. Mollie put her arms around me and hugged me. Instinctively I hugged her back, but nothing else happened. There was no surge of emotions, no tears—nothing. I was empty.
“I’m so sorry, Jack. I should have never told you to leave. You could have been here when she passed.” I smoothed her hair back from her face and kissed her cheek.
“Stop that. It is what it is. Is she still in there?” She released me and looked concerned as I walked to the door. I stood outside for a minute and wondered if I really wanted to face this, but I went inside and Mollie stayed in the hallway. The room was deathly quiet. The machines were turned off and unplugged, and a clean white sheet covered Nellie’s frail body. I sat in the chair under the window and stared at the bed. I watched for a while, waiting to see if the sheet would move. When I’d finally realized it wasn’t going to, I pulled it back carefully, like I was afraid to wake her up. She hated when I woke her up. Especially after she’d been drinking. I remember waking her up once on a school morning, to ask for some lunch money. Nellie beat me with a hairbrush—I think I was like six or seven years old. That was the first day I ever s
kipped school. As stupid as it was, I knew that if anyone saw the cuts and bruises, they’d take me away from her, and I had to stay. Someone needed to take care of her and now, here she was, dead. I guess I hadn’t done such a great job of looking after her.
I waited for the tears, but they never came and I knew I should feel something, but I didn’t. I had no tears for my own mother. I pulled the sheet back over her face and left the room. A nurse was talking with Mollie and asked me where I’d like to have the body sent. I mentioned my attorney’s name to her and said that he would make all the arrangements for me.
“Are you ready to go?” I ignored Mollie’s puzzled look. “I’ve got another meeting this afternoon. I’m supposed to be getting ready to move, too.”
“If you’re sure you want to do that, Jack.” I nodded and we walked to the parking lot, arm-in-arm. We left the hospital in silence and turned onto the highway, but I wasn’t sure where I was going. Her house? My house? Stockton? Nowhere?
“Jack, if you need help getting her things together—if you need anything, you only have to ask me. I’ll be glad to do whatever you need. I could go shopping for her dress and help with arrangements for the service.” Her sweet smile infuriated me. Didn’t she understand I didn’t want to deal with this right now? I didn’t answer her— I just stared at the highway.
“Jack, did you hear me? Please don’t shut me out.”
“Yeah, I heard you, but Mr. Jernigan is going to take care of all that for me. That’s what I pay him for, right?” I gave her an evil grin but felt angrier by the minute. I wasn’t really angry at Mollie, but she was the one here with me and I needed to get her home or wherever she needed to go before I lost it and said something stupid that I’d regret later. No way did I want to hurt her, but I was a Fitzgerald—and we were prone to do all sorts of stupid shit. “Where should I take you? Home? Back to the coffee shop? Maybe you should call Dylan to pick you up?”
“Jack! Don’t be such a dick.”
“He’s your man, isn’t he?” There—I’d said it. Now maybe she’d leave me alone.
Mollie never gave me an answer, so I took her back to the coffee shop as promised. I pretended not to see the tears sliding down her face. I pretended that I didn’t feel a thing about her, my dead mother or anyone else. My heart broke into a million little pieces and I couldn’t stop it, but no one and I mean no one had to know.
I pulled into the parking lot of the coffee shop, fully intending on apologizing to her, but the wheels barely came to a stop before she grabbed her bag and got out. Like the idiot loser I was, I watched her walk away, taking my heart with her.
I spun out of the parking lot like a careless teenager and drove to my favorite bench down by the water. That was the only place I associated with sanity and peace, and I needed both of those right now. On the way, I called Mr. Jernigan and filled him in on the details. He promised that he’d take care of everything, and notify Stockton as well. I hadn’t thought about the latter but—whatever.
I pulled my car onto the gravel, happy to see that my bench was vacant. I grabbed my cigarettes and walked down to the water when my phone rang, and to my surprise, it was Sylvia Donahue. Without even a greeting, she began to talk. “Sorry to hear about your mother. If there is anything we can do to help you, please let us know.”
“Thanks, Sylvia. I appreciate that.”
“Also, want to remind you that you’re Stockton property, at least for the next year, so no drugging your way through the pain. Are we clear on that? It’s not just about you, you know. You have people depending on you to give it your best shot. Production people, other drivers—me. Just keep your head on straight, all right? No fucking around and getting into trouble. Remember that you’re all out of lives, Jack—all nine of them.”
“Anything else?”
“Nope, that’s it. I’ll see you at the funeral, if not before then. Have a nice day.”
I turned my phone off—that was enough consoling for one day. I chain smoked for a few hours until it got cool and the sun went down. I didn’t want to be seen in this part of town after dark, it was time to go.
I chuckled to myself. Funny that she called me. I’d love a bottle and a blonde right now, but the fucked up part about that was…I couldn’t. I had to be straight and sane. I’d get through this. I had to. I got into the Chevy and drove home. It was the loneliest fucking ride I’d ever taken.
Chapter Seven — Mollie
“What do you expect, Mollie? Dude is an emotional Neanderthal. Come on, girl. I know you like him, but personally, I don’t know what you see in the guy. He’s never going to let anyone in because he likes doing his own thing. Jack Fitzgerald is only concerned with one thing—Jack Fitzgerald.” She slid a piping hot cup of tea my way and I held the mug in my hands while I stared into the amber liquid.
“Natalie, his mother just died.”
“I know, and I’m sorry to hear that, but you know I’m telling the truth. What about how he treated you?” She peered at me over her glasses. As always, she had a sketch in her hand and alternated between erasing and re-drawing an endless stream of new designs.
“Honestly, I don’t know what I expected, but I know it wasn’t that. I just wanted to be there for him. He may not know it yet, but it’s going to hurt for a long time—it’s a healing process.” I remembered my own mother’s funeral and how gaunt and thin she looked in her shiny white coffin. I never liked thinking of her like that. Cancer had eaten away at her until it swallowed her life. My thoughts of her usually revolved around holidays—she loved them so much and she was always surrounded by friends and laughter. She was so different from my asshole father.
“It’s kind of not the same thing though, Mol. Your mom didn’t want to leave you—she was sick and she had no choice. Nellie Fitzgerald drank her life away and abandoned her kid on purpose.” She tapped her lip with her pencil tip. “That’s got to be hell.”
I gave her a sad smile, “You’re making my point, Natalie. Be careful, you might agree with me. He needs me.”
“Okay, even if I did agree that he needed ‘someone’—he doesn’t want you right now. He’s got to figure that out himself—or at least he thinks he does. My advice to you is to get on with your life and support him from a distance. Just give him time, and don’t forget you have Dylan to think about too. What are you planning on doing with him? Kicking him to the curb?”
“Dylan and I are friends. That’s it.”
She rolled her eyes and snarked, “Right…friends.”
I changed the subject to buying houses and we talked about me moving out. Natalie said she’d be sad to see me go, but I didn’t think she’d even notice. We’d both stayed so busy, that we barely had time to hang out. Today had been an exception, but that didn’t last long. Soon, my dark-haired friend popped out the door and headed to her workshop to compare her new drawings with some others she’d been working on. Natalie had laser focus when it came to work, and she definitely put the hours in to assure her success.
Left by myself, I took my lukewarm tea to the couch and flipped on the television. Now that I had time to think about it, I wasn’t that angry anymore with Jack. I understood, probably more than anyone he knew, what it felt like to lose a parent. It stung, but I was a big girl. No more crying. It was time to be strong and get moving again. If he wanted me, and wanted my help, he’d let me know.
I still needed to call Dylan back, and I honestly had no idea what I was going to say to him. I was flustered, but I knew he, at least, deserved a call back. I picked up the phone and swiped his number on the screen. He answered immediately. “Hey, Dylan. Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was at the hospital.”
“You worked today? I thought you were off house-hunting?”
“That was the plan, but I ran into a friend who got some bad news. His mother died and I wanted to help him out.”
There was a pregnant pause on the end of the line. No sense in lying to Dylan. He’d been nothing but honest with me abou
t how he felt. No games, no drama. It was just Dylan and what you see is what you get with him. He was safe and loving, but for how long? I could barely admit this to myself, but I genuinely cared about him, however, in comparison to the white-hot emotion I felt for Jack, I didn’t think it was love. If he wanted to chew me out, or hang up on me, I deserved it—and maybe I wanted him to. That way, I wouldn’t have to make a decision, but unfortunately, he didn’t.
“I see. That was really cool of you. Did you get everything taken care of—with your friend?”
“As much as I could. It wasn’t pleasant, that’s for sure.” That was the end of the “Jack” talk. “How did the project meeting go this afternoon?” We were on to other, more comfortable subjects and it was nice to fall back into our normal routine. Dylan suggested we meet for dinner or a drink later, but I told him I’d have to take a rain check. “I think I’m going to stay in today and do laundry. It’s back to work tomorrow evening and it’s going to be kind of nice being a couch potato for a change.”
“Would you like some company? I could cook something. Show off my culinary skills.” I could tell by the tone of his voice that he really wanted to see me.
“Let me ask Natalie what her plans are and I’ll let you know. Call you back soon, okay?”
“All right. Sounds good.” I hung up the phone and went to the intercom on the wall. “Natalie, you there?”
“Yep, what’s up?”
“Dylan wants to cook for us this evening. What are you in the mood for?”
“Actually, I was hoping you could vacate for a little while. I’ve got someone coming over.”
“Okay. I can do that.” I could tell she was immersed in her work and not in the mood to chit-chat, so I sent Dylan a text to let him know that Natalie was having company over.
Come to my place!
Do I have to dress up?
Nope.
K is 7 okay?
Yup!
Fueled Obsession 4 Page 4
