“Okay. I'll call,” I said with the last bit of cheerfulness I could muster and sat the card on the table. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to hit the hay.”
We all got up and said our goodbyes. I hugged each of them close, grateful beyond words that they had been there for me. I knew they loved me. I just always felt like such a mess compared to them. I wished having their hugs and words of support would be enough to satisfy this emptiness I felt, but I still felt like something was missing.
I shut the door behind them, locking it and watching as they walked home. They were everything that I needed, but my heart screamed for something more. There was a hole in my heart where the life I had used to be. The more I looked back on it, Richard had never really filled that hole, but his betrayal only magnified how alone I really was.
I walked up the flight of stairs and got ready for bed. I shook my head at the sight in the mirror as I turned on the sink. Perched atop my head was a bird’s nest of knotted hair, and crusted under my eyes were remnants of my eyeliner. I really am a mess, I thought.
After scrubbing my face and trying to run a comb through my hair, I gave up and fell on to my king-size bed. It was the same one that Richard and I had shared as a married couple. It was too big for me. It felt like I was lost in it. I used to have someone there, and now I was alone.
I put up with it because I hadn't been able to buy a smaller bed since the divorce. I did at least change the sheets to a bit more girly pattern. Dark purple sheets and a black and gray chevron bedspread now adorned the massive mattress. My ex-husband would have hated it, and that made me love it all the more. I set my alarm, thankful that tomorrow would be Friday, and Ben’s last day of school. Things could only go up from here.
Chapter Two
I woke up to a tug on my wrist and squinted my eyes in the morning sun coming through my windows
“Mom, it’s time to go to school,” Ben said gently. He stood next to my bed dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a dark red shirt with his school's mascot, a panther, in mid growl. “We're late. You slept through the alarm again.”
I blinked my eyes a few times, trying to focus them. The numbers on the clock blinked back at me with a gentle chirping. Somehow, the alarm volume had been bumped down and I never even heard it go off.
“Oh no!” I yelled, jumping out of bed. We were late. Way late. My alarm clock said it was already eight o'clock. Ben was already supposed to be at school and work expected me in fifteen minutes. I sprinted to the bathroom and threw my hair up into a messy bun, thankful that it was casual Friday and I could get away with not looking my best.
“Hey, Ben, grab yourself a Pop Tart for breakfast, and make sure to have your bag all ready,” I yelled as I applied a quick sweep of blush and eyeliner.
“Can I have a soda too, Mom?” Ben called back as he made his way out of the bedroom.
“Yes, whatever you want, honey.” I wasn't going to win the mother-of-the-year award today.
I quickly grabbed a pair of jeans and shimmied into them. When they didn’t go over my hips I fell on the bed to get a better angle to pull them on and sucked in every inch. I definitely needed to get a bigger pair, but these would have to do. I threw on the first top I found, and slipped on my sandals. As I hurried into the kitchen, I saw Ben sitting at the table with his Pop Tart and orange soda.
“Okay, let’s get to the car.” I quickly filled my to-go cup with coffee and grabbed my own Pop Tart. I glared at the hot pastry, knowing that the sugary and convenient little buggers were the reason why these jeans were a little snug.
“What’s this, Mom?” Ben asked as he held up the business card from last night.
“Oh, thank you, honey.” I shoved the card into my purse. “I was thinking of hiring you a nanny for the summer. Maybe someone who is old enough to drive.”
Ben opened his mouth in protest, but before he could get a word out I was pushing him to the door.
“Okay, let’s go, let’s go.” I opened the door and let Ben scurry out, Pop Tart in one hand, soda in the other. I grabbed his backpack and locked the door behind me.
We jumped into our silver minivan and pulled away. Eight fifteen. It was a going to be a rush for the record books. Ben's school had started at eight, so I had to walk Ben in to excuse his tardiness. We ran to the front door and I brushed the remaining crumbs from Ben’s Pop Tart off his shirt.
“Head to class, honey. Let me sign you in. I'll see you once you're done with school. Love you.” I gave him a kiss on the forehead, followed by a disgusted yuck from him.
The receptionist gave me a disapproving look as I quickly jotted down my name on the sign-in sheet. I quietly ignored it and gave her a sweet smile to show how little I cared. Judge me all you want, Ms. Manicure Nails and Curled Hair, I thought to myself. Not all of us have perfect lives. I ran out the door and hopped back into my car.
The drive was smooth and allowed me to make great time. I snagged the last parking space and ran in to the office building. Only a half hour late, I thought as I checked my watch. I managed to catch the elevator in time and pushed the 5th floor button.
With a chance to finally take a breath. I checked everything in the mirrored doors of the elevator. I smoothed out my wrinkled blouse and did a little jump to pull my pants up a bit better over my hips. The image staring back at me did not make me happy. There was a slight bulge over my pants because they were too tight. My hair was no longer a messy bun, but a ball of dark hair with more hairs sticking out of it than in it. It wasn’t until I looked down that I finally noticed I had picked two different sandals. Ugh. I stared at the mismatched pair, one black and one brown. I hoped no one would notice.
I made my way to my cubicle and sat down. I threw my purse under the desk as I powered up the computer. Since it was my first week, I hadn’t decorated my office yet. I did have a photo pinned on the wall of Ben and me at the beach, right next to my calendar of dogs wearing funny outfits. This month it was a golden retriever wearing a letterman jacket and holding a sign in his mouth saying “School's out!”
I had printed off a few pictures of me and the girlfriends at a wine and chocolate tasting we did for my 35th birthday party, but after looking at them, I realized I looked a bit too tipsy to have them shown in the office. I didn't have any other pictures to put up on the walls. It was hard for me to decorate my office because Richard was in so many of my photos. He was the last thing I wanted to think about if I was having a rough day. He was the last thing I wanted to think about period.
I unscrewed my coffee lid to pour in some more sugar and cream I kept hidden in my desk.
Beep. The computer finished booting up as I sat the coffee next to my keyboard. Time to get my day started, I thought as I began answering emails and filling out reports.
Before I knew it, it was time for lunch, and I grabbed the protein bar stashed in my purse. As I yanked it out of the bag, crumpled receipts and old gum wrappers fell onto the floor. I shook my head at the trash. It really was a mess in that bag. Like my life.
With a sigh, I bent over and started to sort through it. Receipt, receipt, old gum wrapper, and finally the business card for the nanny Cindy gave me last night.
I really should call, I thought as I flattened the card out. Images of coming home to a clean house and cooked dinner started to fill my thoughts. At the very least, it would be wonderful having someone to help me out with Ben.
I examined the card closer. It was dark green with leaves embossed in the corners. In bright gold letters was “Season Services” and hours of operation underneath it. The place would be closing before I got out of work today, and the idea of having a moment to breathe when I got home was too good to pass up. My fingers dialed the number.
“Hello. Thank you for calling Seasons Services. Whether you need us for a reason or for a season, we are at your service. This is Megan. How may I direct your call today?”
“Hi, Megan. My name is Jes and I was given your number from my friend
Cindy. She said you would be a great source for a nanny.”
“Hi, Jes. Yes, we have many certified nannies that you can use. How old and how many kids do you have?”
“I have one son named Ben. He's six years old. His last day of school is today, and I would really like someone to look out for him while I'm at work.” I slowly started to spin in my chair.
“We have a couple of people that would be a great fit for you. We can have one stop by on Saturday and see if they are what you are looking for. I have Stacey, who was just released from a prior nanny job when the family moved. They gave glowing reviews. Or I have Taylor, who has about a year of experience, but would be available only for part-time work during the next month. They both are Red Cross certified and have passed a thorough background check.”
I thought about it for a moment. I couldn't do part time. “Stacey sounds like a good fit. I definitely need someone who is available full time.”
“Wonderful. I’ll need some more information about you so that Stacey will have it for tomorrow. Normally we have our clients fill out official applications, but we can just do this over the phone for you today and fill in the blanks later,” the voice on the other end said.
“Sure, sure.” I continued to spin in my chair as I let her know about Ben, the hours I would need Stacey for, and my address.
“Okay, thank you, Jessica. That's all I need from you.” I could hear her clicking keys on the computer through the phone. “Let me tell you a little bit more about Stacey.”
My ears perked up, eager to know how wonderful my magical nanny was and what her specialties were. I felt my feet drag across the short carpet and gave a push with my foot to keep my momentum going. With the final push my knee collided with the desk and knocked everything over. Coffee spilled everywhere.
“Oops! I'm so sorry to interrupt, I just spilled coffee all over my keyboard. I'll have to let you go.” I scrambled to find a napkin or something to stop the flow of black liquid into the keys. “Have her come over at about eight AM. It will give me some time to chat with them.”
“Sure, no problem, I'll send over Stacey’s file tonight so you can have more details.” The girl on the other line paused as she pulled up a file on her computer; oblivious to the coffee disaster I was experiencing. “I just wanted to let you know that Stacey is...”
I was sure that I saw smoke coming out of my computer, so I hastily hung up my phone before I heard anything else. This was a brand new work computer and it was still my first week. I coated the keyboard in tissues in hopes of absorbing the liquid.
Ugh, this day can’t end soon enough, I thought to myself. As soon as I finished mopping up the mess my phone started to ring. I froze at the sound. Did they already find out about the mess I had made of my computer and were letting me go?
My office phone made me nervous every time it rang. With a big breath I picked up my phone and tried to answer it as calmly as possible.
“Hello?” I answered. My heart was hammering in my chest. Please, don't let it be Ben's school. Please.
“Hi, it's Steve. I just wanted to let you know that we found you a client to work with for next week.”
I sighed with relief, plopping back into my chair. Not my boss firing me and not Ben's school expelling him. My world wasn't about to end.
“Thanks, Steve. Have a great weekend.” I wondered if he could hear the relief in my voice or if he just thought I sounded chipper. I hoped it was chipper.
“You, too,” Steve said and then disconnected the call
With the safety of knowing that I wasn't fired yet, I got back to work. The hours seemed to fly by as I allowed myself to daydream. I was excited to finally have a set of hands to help me out with everything and I imagined all the free time I would have. Maybe I would even be able to start dating...
No, not dating. I had swore off men. Just the thought of having to go through those awkward beginning moments put a pit in my stomach.
Hi, my name is Jes. I have a six-year-old son and am divorced. Have you seen my crazy life? Yes, that sounded so attractive to men.
The gym. That's what I would have time for. Then, I could actually fit in these pants again.
Chapter Three
The next morning started out in a rush. I had forgotten to wash Ben’s jersey from the week before and was trying to get it dry in time for his match. Standing in my yoga pants and an oversized green-and-brown jersey with BEARS written across it, I fumed at the dryer. I was seriously considering just letting Ben wear my jersey, but he would have been swimming in it.
I pouted as I realized that I was swimming in it as well. My son’s team had apparel that you could buy to support the team, and I didn’t read the fine print and see that everything was in men’s sizes. I had assumed it would all be women’s because it was mostly moms taking their kids to the game.
I glared at the dryer one last time before heading to the kitchen to throw some orange slices in a bag to bring as a snack for Ben. The doorbell rang, and I grinned. It had to be the nanny. My week, and Ben's summer, was about to get better. I wiped the sticky juice on my pants as I headed to the door.
“Hello,” I said, opening up the door. I found myself facing a tall man with lean muscles. He looked to be in his early twenties and was wearing a tight white shirt that showed off his muscular chest. There was something about him that immediately made my heart flutter and my palms sweat.
He flashed a charming grin at me, which squinted the corners of his eyes. I realized they were a breathtaking violet. For a moment, I saw those eyes drift downward to my yoga pants. He couldn't possibly be checking me out, I thought. But just as quickly as I thought I saw it, his eyes snapped back to meet mine.
He had a green folder tucked under one of his delectable arms, which made me think he was trying to sell something. “Hi, my name is-” the man started.
“Mom, I need your help. I'm stuck!” Ben yelled. He barreled around the corner with his head stuck in the arm of his jersey.
“One sec, honey, there is a man at the door,” I replied, trying not to laugh at his predicament.
“Mom, please! I can’t breathe!” He sounded legitimately panicked.
“I'm so sorry, sir. I'm really busy right now, and I have to go help my son. Whatever you’re selling or needing, I'm not interested. Have a good day.”
I abruptly closed the door with my foot and turned to help my son try to get his head out of his armhole. It took a moment, but we got it. As soon as I finished getting his head out, he gave me a giant toothy grin.
He had chunks of cereal left in his teeth. I felt my gag reflex go a bit. “Go brush your teeth!” I scolded playfully.
Knock knock knock. I turned back to the door and opened it back up, getting frustrated with these constant interruptions when I was already running late.
“Hi. Ms. Hochs?” the man in the white shirt asked. This time, his eyes remained on my face, but I could swear that his eyes dilated a little.
“Hi, do I know you?” I asked, a little taken aback that such an attractive man would know my name.
“My name is Stacey. I'm the nanny from the service.” He held up the green file, which had my name on it. His grin got even bigger.
“Oh. OH. My goodness. Stacey, I'm so sorry, I was expecting...” I stammered. I was embarrassed that I had assumed that it would be a woman nanny. My face flushed slightly.
“A woman?” He chuckled making his eyes crinkle. “This isn’t the first time someone thought that, and please call me Cee.” He extended his hand out for a handshake. I mirrored his motion, embarrassed, and was greeted by a calloused hand and a firm grip. His eyes were still on me, still fixated in a way that made me hot under the jersey.
I suddenly became very conscious of the fact that my hair was still dripping cold water down my back and that the last time I put on makeup was over a day ago.
“Well, come in, come in. I'm so sorry, we're running a little behind for his game.” I opened the door wider so that h
e could enter into my house.
I watched as he strolled in. He was tall, probably a good head and a half taller than me. I had to tilt my head up slightly to look into his eyes. He had a head of shaggy blond hair with hints of red in it that caught the morning sunlight and held the warmth. He moved confidently through the door, as if nothing could ever bother him.
As he walked in front of me I smeared morning junk out of my eye and gave myself a pinch to add at least a touch of color to my pale complexion. My eyes drifted down even further. His cargo shorts fit snugly around his waist and showed off his spectacular rear end. How the heck was this guy a nanny?
I quickly put my tongue back into my mouth and tried to busy myself with Ben’s lacrosse equipment.
“Can I get you anything to drink?” I asked, trying to keep myself from staring for too long. I walked over to the sink to try and hide the array of dishes stacked on the counter. I thought my kitchen was spacious, but he seemed to fill the room. His eyes looked around, taking in the house in all of its messy glory. I grabbed a clean glass and walked toward him.
“No, I'm okay. I’ve got some water with me in the car. Is there anything that I can help you with?” I shrugged and went to put the glass back in the cupboard. When I turned around, I definitely saw his eyes on my ass this time. I felt my heart skip a beat and I busied myself with my hair to make it look better then the damp rag hanging from my head.
“No, Ben should be down in a second, he's just brushing his teeth.” As if on cue, we heard the thud of him coming down the stairs.
“Hey, Ben, I want you to meet Stacey. He might be your new nanny,” I said gesturing to Cee.
Ben looked confused. “But he's a boy,” he whined.
Walking on Sunshine: A Sweet Love Story (Seasons of Love Book 1) Page 2
