“I don’t think discussing this will solve anything,” she said, reaching for the door handle, intent on letting herself out.
The air was electric. “Jessica, stay for a few minutes. Please.” His words were soft, without emotion, and yet filled with it.
Jessica hesitated. “All right.” She dropped her hand.
“Did you give your notice because of what happened at the dinner?” he asked.
Confused, Jessica turned to study Damian. “Last night?”
“Evan virtually abandoned you. I know your feelings must have been hurt, but—”
“Just a minute,” she said, twisting in her seat to look at him directly. “You don’t honestly believe that, do you?”
A puzzled look crowded his features. “Yes. My brother was rude in the extreme to abandon you the way he did.”
She was angrier than she could remember being in a long time. When she let things fester inside her this way, her anger took the form of hiccups when she released it.
“Do you think hic I’m so shallow I’d quit hic my job in a fit of hic jealousy? Is that hic what you’re saying, Damian?”
He blinked when she was finished, as though he expected more.
Jessica threw open the car door, climbed out and slammed it. “I hic don’t think this hic conversation is getting us anywhere.”
With that she marched away. She thought she heard Damian’s car door close, but she didn’t bother to look back.
“Jessica!” he called storming into the empty lobby.
She hesitated. The hiccups hadn’t subsided, and she was having a hard time breathing properly.
“I’m sorry,” he said after a tense moment.
She understood then. He was apologizing for much more than their argument. He was telling her how much he regretted not loving her.
Nine
Other than brief glimpses Jessica didn’t see Damian at all during the next two weeks. A new legal assistant, Peter McNichols, was hired, and Jessica helped train the conscientious young man.
On her last day, Damian sent word that he wanted to see her in his office. Mrs. Sterling issued the summons. “I hope you’ll change your mind,” Evan’s secretary said wistfully. “You’re an excellent worker and I hate to see you go.” She cast a speculative eye toward Evan’s closed office door. “I’m sure Mr. Dryden’s going to miss you, too.”
Evan had made several attempts in the past two weeks to bribe her into staying, but Jessica had stood steadfastly by her decision. Although it had been made impulsively, it was the right thing to do.
Jessica reached for her pad and pen before starting toward Damian’s office, although she doubted he expected her to take notes. She was promptly shown in by his secretary.
She found Damian standing at the window, his back to her. His hands were clasped behind him, the pose he assumed when he was thinking or when he was troubled about something. She wondered if he found her departure distressing, then decided if that was the case he’d have said so long before now.
“You wanted to see me?” she asked quietly.
He turned around and offered her a reassuring smile. “Yes, please sit down.” He motioned toward the chair, then claimed the seat behind his desk. He reached for an envelope on the corner and handed it to Jessica.
“It’s your paycheck,” he explained. “I took the liberty of adding a small bonus.”
“That wasn’t necessary,” she said, surprised by the gesture.
“Perhaps not, but I wanted you to know how much the firm appreciated the extra time and effort you put into the Earl Kress case.”
“I stayed late because I wanted to.”
“I realize that. Now,” he said, leaning back in his chair, his posture casual, his eyes curious, “have you found another position yet?”
“No.” Working every day had made searching for a job almost impossible. There would be time enough for that later, in the days and weeks to follow.
“I see,” he said unemotionally. “If you like, I’d be happy to write you a letter of recommendation.”
The offer was generous in light of the fact she’d worked for the firm such a short while.
“I’d appreciate that very much.” She’d given considerable thought to the consequences of being out of a job. A letter of recommendation would help.
“There are a number of firms I know who might be interested in obtaining a top-notch legal assistant. I could make a few calls on your behalf.”
Damian was being more than generous, she thought. “Thank you. I’d be grateful.”
He nodded and she got to her feet. Saying goodbye to Damian was much more difficult than she’d ever expected. When she walked out the door she didn’t know how long it’d be before she saw him again. Their families might be close, but Jessica and Damian led very separate lives. It could well be months or even years before they ran into each other. But perhaps that would be for the best. She fidgeted with the yellow notepad. “I want you to know how much I’ve appreciated working for you and Evan,” she said, barely managing to keep her voice steady. “You were willing to give me a chance when all I had was classroom experience.”
“You’ve proved yourself in countless ways since then.”
She backed away, taking small steps, until her back was against his door. She felt the wood pressing against her shoulder blades. “Thank you, too,” she said, and her voice came out a hoarse whisper, “for everything else.”
His brow creased with a frown.
“For the dinners and our time at Cannon Beach,” she elaborated. The final words stuck in her throat, and she was sure that if she said what was really in her heart, it would embarrass them both.
His eyes revealed his sadness. “Goodbye, Jessica.”
She turned then and opened the door, but before she walked out of his life, before she took that first step, she glanced over her shoulder to look once again, to grab hold of this last memory of him.
Damian was standing there, in the same spot he’d been when she first arrived, gazing out the window, his hands clasped behind his back.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE you left it like that.” Cathy was outraged, pacing Jessica’s living room like a caged tiger. She hadn’t been able to stand still from the moment Jessica had told her about her last meeting with Damian.
“What did you expect me to say to him?” Jessica demanded in irritation. The romantic part of her had been hoping Damian would come after her, but he hadn’t. Even Evan had seemed resigned to her wishes. She’d spent one of the most emotionally draining days of her life, and the last thing she needed was chastisement from her best friend. “If he had a shred of feeling for me, this would have been a golden opportunity for him to say something, don’t you think?”
“You don’t want to know what I think about that man,” Cathy muttered darkly.
“The best he was willing to do was a letter of recommendation. I don’t need to be hit over the head, Cathy. Damian Dryden simply doesn’t care about me.” Kneeling before the coffee table, she jerked a piece of pizza from the box with such force the cheese slid off the top.
“Does he know you’re not seeing Evan?”
“Of course he knows.”
“How can you be so sure? Did you tell him?”
“No.”
Cathy lifted her hands in abject frustration. “Then that’s it. He thinks you’re still dating his brother.”
“Evan’s gone out with Nadine Powell twice this week. Damian knows that. Besides, all Evan and I have ever been is friends. I told Damian that. Obviously he’s not interested one way or the other, so there’s no point in discussing it, is there?”
Cathy dropped onto the carpet and reached for a slice of pizza. “I’m really disappointed.”
“So am I.” That was a gross understatement, but Jessica had never been one to dwell on past mistakes. It would be a long time before she could consider loving Damian a mistake. She’d learned several lessons about herself, and love, in the process. When all
was said and done she was going to miss him dreadfully.
“I thought you told me you and Evan were going sailing this weekend?” Cathy asked curiously.
“Not this weekend. Next.”
“Aha!” Her friend slapped the end of the coffee table with her free hand. “So you are continuing to see Evan. Damian must know that, too. No wonder he’s—”
“Cathy,” Jessica said, cutting her off, “leave it. I probably won’t be seeing Damian again, and apparently that’s the way he wants it. Heaven knows I couldn’t have been any more obvious about how I felt.”
Cathy shook her head sadly. “I guess I must be more of a romantic than I realized. I was so sure he was in love with you. I was so confident I was right, I guess, because I wanted to be. I’ve waited all these years for you to fall in love, and now that you have…” Her voice faded as a frown ruled her features. “I was so very sure,” she whispered, the puzzled expression growing more intense as though she didn’t understand, even now, what could possibly have gone wrong.
“THIS IS A TREAT,” Jessica said, sitting across the table from her mother in their favorite seafood restaurant. They were given a table that looked out over Back Bay. The waters were green and peaceful, and fishing boats could be seen in the distance, bobbing up and down like corks.
Joyce Kellerman spread the linen napkin on her lap and smiled serenely.
Jessica groaned inwardly. She knew that look well. It was the one that spoke of pained disappointment. Her mother had given her that identical look when she’d learned Jessica had dropped out of piano lessons. The look was there again when Jessica had refused to go to Girl Scout camp when she was twelve; it hadn’t helped that her mother had been the group leader. It was her mother’s way of saying Jessica’s behavior completely baffled her. Jessica didn’t pretend not to know what this luncheon engagement was about.
“You think I made a mistake quitting my job, don’t you, Mother?”
Joyce looked mildly surprised that Jessica had introduced the subject. “I just don’t understand why, that’s all. It was the perfect job for you, with old family friends. You and Evan seemed to be getting along so well, and then for no reason I can discern, you resigned.”
“It was time for me to move on,” Jessica said vaguely.
“But you’d barely worked there two months,” Joyce protested. “It doesn’t look good on a résumé for you to be hopping from one job to the next. You know what your father has to say about such behavior.”
There it was, in black and white, with the emphasis on black. She’d disappointed her father, the man who’d devoted his life to the preservation of her happiness.
“Working for the Drydens had become…uncomfortable, Mom.” Jessica didn’t explain further. What could she say?
Her mother reached for the menu and focused her attention there. “Lois and I blame ourselves for this, you know. We were both so excited when you and Evan hit it off that we let our imaginations run away with us. Here we were talking about a wedding and grandchildren, and you two had barely started dating.”
“Mom, it wasn’t that.”
Joyce set the menu aside and clutched the edge of the table, leaning toward Jessica. “I feel so badly about all this. I do hope you’ll accept my apology, Jessica.”
“Mom, listen to me. Evan and I were never romantically interested in each other. He’s in love with someone else. We’ve had several long talks, and he’s simply not ready to become involved in another relationship. That’s perfectly understandable.”
“Oh, dear, I’m sorry I’m late.” A flustered Lois Dryden approached their table, surprising Jessica. This was her first week away from the Dryden law firm, and when her mother had suggested lunch, it had sounded like a great way to kill a couple of hours between job interviews, the very ones Damian had arranged for her. Jessica hadn’t realized Damian’s mother had been invited to this luncheon, as well.
“With the primary less than three weeks away, I don’t think I’ve ever been busier.” Lois Dryden pulled out a chair and sat down next to her friend and neighbor.
“Mom didn’t mention you’d be joining us,” Jessica said, casting a mild accusatory glance at her mother. The last thing she needed now was another inquisition.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Lois murmured contritely. “It does look as though we’re ganging up on you, doesn’t it? We don’t mean to, dear. It’s just that we can’t help being curious about what’s going on between you and Evan.”
So, her mother wasn’t the only one looking for answers. Lois Dryden, too. And the pair were ganging up on her.
“We’re both far snoopier than we should be,” Lois Dryden went on breathlessly, setting her small handbag next to her silverware, “but that’s just part of being a mother.”
“Jessica was telling me that Evan’s still in love with someone else,” Joyce explained.
“Oh, dear,” Lois said wistfully, “I was afraid of that. Is it that Summerhill girl he was so keen on a few months ago?”
Jessica looked out over the sun-brightened waters of Back Bay and sighed. “Please understand, I don’t mean to be rude, but Evan and I are friends, and I don’t feel comfortable sharing what he said to me in confidence.”
Joyce Kellerman beamed proudly at her friend. “My goodness, she sounds just like an attorney, doesn’t she?”
“That’s what she gets from hanging around my sons too long,” Damian’s mother replied. She crossed her arms and leaned on the table, her expression regretful. “I’m afraid I made a terrible mistake when Evan brought Mary Jo out to the house to meet Walter and me.”
“I can’t imagine your doing anything to offend anyone,” Joyce said loyally.
“She was a shy little thing, and it was easy to see that Walter and I made her decidedly uncomfortable. After dinner, I tried to put her at ease, and I’m afraid I made a miserable job of it. You see, it’s vital that Evan marry the…right kind of woman.”
“Right kind of woman?” Jessica echoed, a little confused. She’d known the Drydens most of her life. They weren’t snobs. They were two of the most generous conscientious people she’d ever met.
“Sometime in the future, Evan is destined to enter the political arena,” Lois explained. “Being a politician’s wife is like being married to a minister. I should know. After the last few weeks, I’ve been left with the feeling that I am the one running for the Senate, not Walter.”
Jessica looked puzzled. “To the best of my knowledge Evan’s never said anything about being interested in politics.”
“Perhaps not recently, but he was keen on it before, and we’ve talked about it a lot in the past. It’s only been in the past year or so that his interest has waned.”
“You said all this to Mary Jo?” Joyce asked.
Lois nodded, her eyes betraying her remorse. “I’ve thought back on our conversation a hundred times, and I see now that I did more harm than good.”
“Does Evan know what you said to her?” Jessica questioned.
“I’m fairly certain she didn’t repeat it. I’ve thought of contacting her since then, thinking if I apologized she might find it in her heart to forgive me for being so terribly presumptuous.”
Jessica groaned inwardly. This new information explained much of what had happened between Mary Jo and Evan, but it was too late. Mary Jo was married now, wasn’t she? To that other teacher?
“I feel like I’m responsible for ruining things between you and Evan, as well,” Lois went on. “I do try to stay out of my sons’ lives, honestly I do, but I don’t seem to have much success. I do hope you’ll forgive Walter and me for pressuring you and Evan.”
“Mrs. Dryden, please, you aren’t at fault.”
“You’re such a dear girl, and Walter and I hoped it would work out between you and Evan.” She paused to reach for the menu. “You make a handsome couple.”
“Thank you.”
The waiter came and took their order, and Lois fully relaxed. “Something’s botheri
ng Damian,” she remarked. “I’ve tried to ask him about it, but you know Damian. He’s as closemouthed as his father. Evan, bless his heart, is more like me. I’ve always known what Evan’s thinking—well, until recently—because he’s so open about his feelings. Not so with Damian.”
“What about Damian?” Jessica asked, making the question sound as casual as she could.
“You could probably explain more to me than I can to you, dear,” Lois said. “You see him far more often than I do, or at least, you did.”
“I…Damian didn’t make a practice of confiding in me.”
Lois sighed noisily. “I figured as much. Mark my words, there’s a woman involved in this. Damian may be as tight-lipped as his father, but I know my son. I think he might have fallen in love.”
Jessica glanced back at the water, knowing that if Damian’s mother was right, the woman was someone else. Not her.
“ONCE ON BOARD, you can go below and unload the groceries,” Evan instructed, as they walked along the floating dock at the marina. When they reached the berth where the thirty-foot sailboat was moored, Evan helped Jessica aboard.
While she went below, Evan moved forward and busied himself with the sails, setting the jib and readying the spinnaker.
“It looks to me like you packed enough food for a week,” Jessica shouted through the open stairwell that led to the deck above. The day was lovely, the wind perfect for sailing. Despite all his comments about being the captain while she was the crew, Evan seemed eager to do the majority of the work. Putting away a few bags of groceries seemed a paltry task.
“I’ll probably set sail while you’re below,” Evan shouted down to her, “so don’t be concerned if you feel the boat move.”
Jessica’s experience as a sailor was limited. Evan had insisted for weeks that he was going to change all that. Before the end of the day, he claimed she’d be a top-notch mariner. Apparently the lessons started in the galley.
Humming as she worked, Jessica unloaded the three large grocery bags. They were apparently going to eat well this weekend. She was busy cleaning radishes when she heard voices up above, but although she craned her neck to see who Evan was speaking to, she couldn’t see anyone. It was probably someone standing on the dock, Jessica decided.
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