by LK Shaw
“Oh, I think there are other things our friend here focuses on.” Alejandro interjected with a hint of dark sarcasm.
I studied him briefly. His pose was deceivingly relaxed. I didn’t glance in Miguel’s direction, but I wondered if he spotted it as well. Deciding it was always best to go on the offensive to throw people off, I volleyed back my own question. “Are you inferring something? If so, why don’t you just say it instead of throwing out vague comments?”
He sputtered and cast several glances at his uncle, who smirked. Despite his charm and debonair persona, Miguel was a ruthless, power- and money-hungry drug lord. Familial emotions aside, I truly believed he’d see Alejandro dead and a new leader chosen before he let anyone destroy the business he’d built.
Alejandro must have grown a set, because he snapped his shirt sleeves taut, straightened in his chair, and sent me a glaring look over the top of his nose.
“You’ve been absent an awful lot lately, and Gabby has been avoiding me. I’m not stupid.”
That’s debatable. Knowing that wouldn’t go over well, I offered instead, “You’re kidding me. There are more important things you should be focusing on than some whore who decides she’s not interested anymore. Your uncle is trying to teach you how to run this business, and you’re thinking with your cock instead of your brain.”
Calling Ines a whore stuck in my throat, but it was the only thing to say. Alejandro’s neck and face flushed red, and his whole body went rigid at my insult. His eyes shone with an intense, fevered hatred. My face was slack with boredom. I’d learned a lot about Miguel Álvarez over the last five years, and I knew he wouldn’t intervene. He’d want to see how his nephew handled the situation.
I was actually shocked when Alejandro reined in his hatred. A calm façade slid over him, before he gave me a conciliatory smile. “You’re right. She is worthless, nothing but una puta, and doesn’t deserve my attention. La familia is most important.”
A tense silent reigned between us, until finally Miguel broke it. “Now that we have that settled, it’s time to get down to business. Alejandro, you will go with Tomás next month. He will introduce you to our supplier so he can become familiar with you. You will take his lead. This deal is important. I plan on cultivating a relationship with Raoul Escobar to rival that of the Sinaloa Cartel if I have plans of taking over their supply line.”
It felt like a test. One I didn’t want to fail. When there was no disagreement or pushback, my instincts roared out a warning signal. Listening to it had saved my life more than once. Looked like I planned on keeping a closer eye on junior. Fuck.
Chapter 17
I’d thought of nothing but Tomás since he left this morning, and I desperately needed Estelle’s advice. Knowing it wasn’t the smartest idea, I called her anyway.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Bubbles.” I used Estelle’s childhood nickname so she knew it wasn’t safe to talk over the phone.
“You’re hilarious. You know I outgrew that name years ago.” She sounded appropriately aggrieved, although I knew for a fact that the nickname didn’t bother her at all. She still laughed about it, except when Victor used it. Now, that irritated her.
“I know, but it’s still fun to harass you with it.”
“Yeah, yeah. So, how’s it going?”
“Good. I was calling to see if you were free for lunch?”
“Yeah, absolutely. When and where?”
I thought about it for a minute. “How about one, at my favorite sushi place?”
“That sounds perfect actually. I’ve been craving sushi for days.”
“Great, I’ll see you then.”
After hanging up, I hopped in the shower. While I was getting ready, I thought about what I was going to tell Estelle. I wanted to keep Tomás to myself for a bit. I was honest enough to know that it was in part due to the fact that I was a little ashamed at my feelings. He was so bad for me for so many reasons, but I couldn’t seem to control myself now that I’d had a taste of him. I wanted to blame it on high emotions, especially after Ernesto’s death, or raging hormones, but that wasn’t entirely it. There was this essence about him that called to me. It wasn’t rational, but it was there. Still not sure what I was going to say, I headed to the restaurant.
I arrived at Roka Akor ten minutes early. Not that I had any reason to believe someone would follow me, but I was still being cautious. I sat at our regular table near the bar and waited for Estelle to arrive. Forever on time, she walked through the door at exactly one p.m.. I rose and gave her a hug before we both took our seats.
“So,” she drew the word out, “what’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“It’s safe to talk here,” I assured her.
Estelle looked relieved that she didn’t need to act. She reached out to clutch my hand. “Oh my god, Ines, I’m so sorry about Ernesto. I know you well enough to hear the strain in your voice when you called. You certainly didn’t sound like you were good. It broke my heart when I heard the news, and I couldn’t be there for you. I hate that you weren’t at the funeral.”
“Actually, I was,” I blurted out. “God, Estelle, I’m in so much trouble.”
Her eyes widened in horror. “Shit, do they know?”
I knew what she was asking. “No. Well, Tomás knows.”
I didn’t think her eyes could get any bigger, but I was wrong. “Holy fuck. Do you mean the same Tomás from the club that night? How did he find out? Oh my god, Ines, you need to tell Victor.”
“He won’t say anything.”
“How do you know? Ines, he’s a member of the fucking cartel, and he knows you’re a cop who is—was—dating his boss’ nephew. From the brief conversation we had, Tomás doesn’t strike me as dumb. He has to know there was a reason you would be dating Alejandro. And not because you were in love with him. You’re going to get yourself killed.”
Her voice rose with the last, and I shushed her when I spotted the waiter approaching. She blurted out her order to get him moving along. When he left, I spoke again.
“Estelle, you have to trust me. He’s not going to tell anyone.”
She stared at me for the longest time, until her expression shifted to one of disbelief. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. You have a thing for him. This is bad. Like really, really bad. You know that, right?”
“It gets worse.”
Her eyes closed briefly, and I could almost see the mental prayer she was sending up. “Please, please don’t tell me you slept with him.”
“I didn’t sleep with him.”
“But…” This was why Estelle was my best friend. She knew me better than anyone.
“I was at the cemetery. He showed up, Estelle. Told me he didn’t think I should be alone. Stayed with me the whole time. Held me throughout the night. When I woke in his arms this morning, I couldn’t stop myself. It just sort of happened.”
She rubbed her forehead like she was warding off a headache. “Oh, Ines.”
“I know. I can’t explain it. Tomás stands for everything I despise. I fight every day to bring down criminals. The same criminals who killed Ernesto. There’s something different about him, Estelle. We’re on entirely different sides of the law, but I’m blinded by an inherent goodness I swear I sense in him. Which makes absolutely no sense. I’m so confused, and I know that this, whatever it is, is going to end badly. Like so epically disastrous, but I don’t know if I can stop it. I don’t know that I want to.”
She clasped my hands. “I just don’t want to see you hurt. Something we both know is going to happen. This isn’t going to end in a happily ever after, Ines. Any relationship between you is going to crash and burn. One of you isn’t going to survive the fire. I’m terrified it’s going to be you. Your family can’t survive another loss. I couldn’t survive. You’re my best friend. I can’t lose you.”
I squeezed her hand hard. “You’re not going to lose me, Estelle. I swear.”
She looked at me sadly. “I hope you’re right.”
Our waiter arrived with our sushi, but I’d lost my appetite. We ate in relative silence, with me picking at my food. After we finished eating, we said our goodbyes and I headed home, more conflicted than ever. Everything she’d said was true. There would be no happy ending for Tomás and me. And still I was willing to take the risk. I was so fucked. I’d just closed my front door when my text alert sounded. My heart skipped a beat and then started racing when I saw Tomás’ number and the message.
Garden of the Phoenix footbridge
7:00 p.m.
Torn with indecision, I quickly typed out a response and hit send before I could change my mind.
Chapter 18
Shortly after six, I exited the 59th Street train station. Then, on foot, I headed east. I walked for close to fifteen minutes before finally reaching my destination. The Garden of the Phoenix is out in the middle of an island in Jackson Park near Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry on the south side of the city. It’s so secluded that a majority of locals have never heard of it. Not my mother, though. It had been one of her favorite places to visit after the city had restored and redesigned it when I was a freshman in high school. I came here once a week in her memory. And unless you knew where you were going, it could be hard to find. It was also surrounded by a neighborhood of drugs and gang violence, which deterred a lot of visitors in the evening hours, making it the perfect meeting place.
I stood on the footbridge, forearms resting against the wood, and watched the setting sun, thinking of Ines and wondering what the hell I was going to do. I’d been schooled countless times during training to avoid personal entanglements while undercover. It was a surefire way to get myself killed. Number one rule of surviving was to become the person you’d created. It wasn’t a mask you donned and doffed each day. Every aspect of your life revolved around who you now were. The line between right and wrong blurred. For five years, I’d done that. Except over the last two days, I’d stopped being Tomás González and had returned to being Brody Thomas. All because of a woman. Because of Ines.
Every instinct told me she’d be at the cemetery, which was why I’d followed her. I knew she was strong. But if there was one thing that could bring her to her knees, it was not being able to be with her family. She’d seemed so brittle, standing there alone, that she could break any moment. So, I offered her my strength. Because I wanted her to see me. Brody.
It wasn’t long before I sensed Ines’ presence. Her scent caught on the almost always-present Chicago breeze and mingled with the blooming cherry blossoms. She moved into my periphery and mirrored my pose. Silently, we stood looking out over the water, the cool night air kissing our skin, the sound of crickets and frogs our only companion.
“When I was almost ten, my mom found out she was pregnant. Her long-term boyfriend didn’t believe her when she told him it was his, and he took off. At first, my mom was devastated. Then she was determined. Determined that she raise her sons to be good, strong men who took care of their women. When my brother was born, I was so envious of the attention he received. Until one day my mom had to run down to the laundry room and asked me to keep an eye on him while she was gone. She hadn’t even been out of the apartment five minutes when Preston started screaming. I was terrified, and I started to panic. Not knowing what else to do, I stood over his crib and started singing to him. Like that, he stopped and just stared up at me and blinked, his eyes watery with unshed tears. It was in that moment that I fell in love with him. After that day, I sang to him whenever he was upset, and every time he’d stop crying. There were times I swear he’d start to cry just to hear me sing.”
I smiled at the memory. I continued softly, my eyes remaining forward. “Anyway, I’m glad you came.”
She remained quiet for a moment longer. “I almost didn’t.”
“What made you change your mind?”
I felt more than saw her shrug. “To be honest, I really don’t know.”
I turned toward her. She was absolutely breathtaking. The colors of the sunset glowed behind her, making her hair sparkle with shades of yellow, gold, and burnt orange. It fell down around her shoulders like the first day I’d met her. Then she’d worn a killer, sexy-as-fuck dress and heels that I pictured digging into my back while I rode her. Today, she was dressed casually in a curve hugging sweater that accentuated her small waist, a pair of jeans, and pink canvas shoes. Her makeup was minimal which made her look like your basic girl next door. Except there was nothing basic about her.
Unable to stop myself, and not wanting to anyway, I took a step forward, brushing her hair off her neck and over her shoulder, its texture like silk against my skin. Her large, chocolate eyes stared up at me, pupils darkening with every breath we took, and her pink tongue darted out to wet her lips in anticipation. My nostrils flared at the gesture. I reached out with my free hand and rubbed my thumb over the wetness. Needing a taste of her like I needed my next breath, I cupped her cheek and lowered my head, my lips covering hers. Immediately she opened, letting me deepen the kiss. I swallowed her moan when her small fists clutched my biceps. It was my first true taste of her, and she tasted like the sweetest of berries.
Our first kiss had been about comfort. This one was filled with forbidden desire. When I’d sent that text and she responded, we both knew where this would lead. The kiss continued, each of us breathing the other in, while I reveled in her softness. Within this hidden paradise, there was only the two of us. The entire world outside the border of this tiny island didn’t exist. Tomás and Gabriela didn’t exist. In here, we were Brody and Ines.
I pulled back, needing to see her. She mewled in disappointment at the loss of contact. Our breathing was heavy in the night air as she blinked up at me with drowsy eyes, her lips puffy and well-kissed. My cock was rock-hard, but tonight, this first time between us, was about all about her. It might be our one and only time together, and I wanted to brand her with my touch. So that no matter what happened after tonight, she would remember me. I wanted to take her gently, then rough. I wanted her nails to score my back while she screamed out her orgasm.
“Come with me.” My voice was deep and guttural with desire as I took her hand.
Silently, we retraced the path I’d taken to get here. “Are you sure you want to do this, Ines? Have you really thought about who I am? Who you are?”
Ines paused in reflection, and I waited for her to realize what a mistake she was making. She was a dedicated police officer and, as far as she was concerned, I was a drug-dealing member of the Mexican cartel. We were not meant to be together, no matter how deep the attraction ran.
She turned her body toward me and squeezed my hand. “I don’t know your story and why you do what you do. My whole life I thought that bad people were bad while good people were good. Until I joined the force. Over the last five years I’ve come to learn that there are good people who do bad things. There are also bad people who do good things.”
She swallowed.
“Going into law enforcement, we know, on some level, there’s a chance we can be killed in the line of duty. It’s something we ignore and hope it goes away. But with Ernesto’s death, I could no longer ignore it. I was devastated, but it also made me question my own mortality. I knew how hard it was for you to tell me about my brother. I could see it. As crazy as it seems, I think you’re one of those good people who does bad things. You were there for me during one of the hardest moments of my life. I know this…affair, I guess, between us won’t last. It can’t. Not with us on opposite sides of the law. But, for a brief time, I want to do what I do when it comes to thinking about death. I’m going to ignore it and hope it goes away.”
She’d made her decision.
I was done resisting. The only thing I could do now was to protect her as best I could from any fallout.
We walked the remaining few blocks to my flat. I flipped the light to illuminate the living room. It was then I realized what I’d done. I’d brought Ines to my place. Brody’s place. Shit.<
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Chapter 19
“Would you like something to drink?”
“I’ll take some water if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. Why don’t you make yourself at home? I’ll be right back.”
While Tomás was gone, I wandered the room, pausing at the mantle where several family photos were displayed.
“Here you go.”
I startled a little, like I’d been caught snooping. I couldn’t hold back my curiosity though.
“Is that your mom and brother? You boys resemble each other.” I gestured with the bottle he’d handed me.
“Yes.”
I blinked at his succinct, one-word answer. Apparently there weren’t supposed to be any personal questions. Considering who we were, I guess that was understandable. I sipped my water to swallow back my hurt at his abruptness.
“Sorry, that was rude.” He shifted uncomfortably like apologies weren’t something he made often.
“No, no, I get it. I shouldn’t have asked.”
Tomás stepped into my space, forcing me to look up at him at the same time my body heated at his closeness. I could smell his cologne, he stood so close. “It’s a perfectly reasonable observation to make and question to ask. It wasn’t off-limits. Just a painful topic.”
“I’m sorry.” And I was. It hadn’t been my intent to cause him pain. I couldn’t help my naturally inquisitive nature.
“Don’t be.”
When he stepped away, I was bereft at the loss of his scent and warmth. He’d smelled so good, I’d wanted to bury my nose against his neck and breathe him in. His gaze focused on the picture behind me.
“My mother died ten years ago. A kid, high on heroin, tried to steal her purse from her. When she didn’t give it up, he pushed her. She fell and hit her head so hard, it ruptured an aneurysm in her brain. She died instantly.”
