Burn Me Anthology

by Shantel Tessier

“Look at you, up before dawn. I’m proud,” I tease, and he chuckles.

  “Thought I’d try out this whole overachiever routine you’ve got going. You know, virtually no sleeping or eating, and still killin’ it at everything else.”

  “Funny.” I roll my eyes, smiling.

  He holds my eyes a moment, then looks away, chuckling. “I, uh, I woke up just before you today, and ran to my mom’s to get showered. Thought we could ride together.”

  My gaze roams his face. “You stayed last night?”

  He licks his lips, bringing his eyes back to mine, but he doesn’t say anything, so I don’t push.

  “You sure you wanna take me?” I ask him. “You don’t have to be there for another hour and a half, and you leave before me.”

  He shrugs. “I could help you with your work.”

  I laugh. “Ooor you could go into the gym.”

  “Or that.” He grins.

  “Alright.” I take one of the protein shakes from him and hip check past him to open the passenger side door. “Let’s go, Chief.”

  “Maybe one day,” he laughs, and I look to him.

  “Definitely one day.”

  After a few minutes, Rowan starts chuckling in his seat. “Remember our plan from when we were kids?”

  “What plan?” I tease, and he smiles, knocking me with his elbow.

  “We were gonna run away together, live by the beach, and work for Willy Wonka.”

  “Eat candy all day, then play in the sand all night.”

  “Drive go karts everywhere we went.”

  I laugh, and he joins in, glancing my way, then back at the road.

  “We had it all figured out, Oaks,” he says quietly.

  My smile turns sad, so I shift to look out the window, noticing the deep inhale he takes as I do. “We sure thought we did, didn’t we…”

  When we pull into the parking lot, I go to get out, but Rowan grabs my bicep, halting me.

  I shift my gaze to his, finding he’s looking at the only other vehicle in the lot… Alec’s truck.

  “Oakley…” He sighs and drops his chin to his chest. “When you think about your life, ten, twenty years from now, what do you see?”

  Slowly, I drop against the seat. “I’m not sure I’ve thought about it, to be honest.”

  He nods, still not looking at me. “When I think about the future, later in life, and where I’ll be, there’s so much that’s blurred.”

  I understand where he’s coming from. We’re only twenty. I don’t think we’re supposed to have it all figured out yet.

  “But, Oak.” He brings his honey-colored eyes to mine. “The one thing that is clear is you, right there with me. Always.”

  I stare at him, into his soul. My friend.

  “I hope so, Rowan.” I give a half-smile, formed from sadness and escape the truck as quickly as I can. As I come around, he’s already standing there with our bags in hand. He throws his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. I shut my eyes, letting him steer me to the door, wanting to say something about what he’s just admitted, but unsure of what or how.

  When I hear the door open, so do my eyes, and I’m nailed with a pair of frosty green ones.

  There Alec sits, perched on my desk, with nothing in hand.

  Waiting for me.

  But why?

  My brows pull in and I move to step forward, but Rowan’s hold on my shoulder tightens. Slowly, he pulls us through the door.

  “Everything alright?” I ask Alec cautiously, uneasiness making my stomach turn.

  He stares at me, looks to Rowan, then stands. He says nothing, just disappears through the doorway that leads to his office.

  Rowan drops his arm from me with an irritated sigh and sets my bag down. “I’m going to the gym.” Then he’s gone.

  And I’m left standing in the doorway, thoroughly confused and emotionally spent.

  It’s 5:45 in the morning, and I’m ready to go home.

  I move my things and plop myself into the chair. Staring out at Rowan’s truck, our conversation replays in my head, and truly, I’m at a loss.

  As sad as it is, I can’t help but think Alec may be right. Maybe Rowan will never be able to love me right, never allow me to love him the way I’ve wanted.

  Rowan admitted he sees me in his future, his far future.

  But how far, and what role do I play?

  And more importantly, do I want to wait around to find out?

  Chapter 7

  “Hey, Dad.” I answer my phone on my way out the door.

  “Oakley!”

  I pause at the hood of my car. “Everything okay?”

  “Oakley, listen to me…”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Honey, where are you?”

  “Leaving for work.” I whip around when I hear what sounds like a key dropping, but see no one around.

  “Call…” he groans. “Call Rowan. Have him take you.”

  My eyes widen. He’s never the first to suggest Rowan when it comes to anything involving me. Something’s up.

  I hustle around the front of my car, quickly getting behind the wheel. “Rowan doesn’t go in until seven. I have to be there by 5:30. What’s going on?”

  “I don’t want you alone. Listen, I’m not going to be home as early as I thought. I have more business to handle here.”

  “Okaaay.” I drop against my seat.

  “Oakley, I need you to call Hannah before you get off work and tell her she doesn’t need to stay with you anymore.”

  “But Dad, you just said I shouldn’t be alone.”

  “I know, but she won’t do you any good, and I can’t have you there unprotected.”

  “So then, what’s your plan? And unprotected from what?”

  “I’ll handle it, Oaks. Trust me?”

  “Dad.”

  “Honey, please. For once in your life, go with the flow, all right? I’m here dealing with some stuff, then... I’ll be home.”

  “Is this…” I hesitate, remembering the break in at Blazer. “Blaze business?”

  “Not now. Be careful on your way to work, and check the safety nets when you get home. Call me tonight after, well… you’ll call.”

  “You’re freaking me out.”

  He chuckles lightly, but I hear the crack in his voice when he sighs in my ear. “I love you, baby girl.”

  “Dad—”

  “Proud of you.”

  My brows pull in. “I know you are.”

  “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Yeah,” I speak low, my mind running wild with possibility. “You’ve said it a million times.”

  He gives a light chuckle. “Oakley, sometimes the ones we think care the least, care the most. Remember that, even when it feels impossible. When it hurts more than you feel you can bear, remember that. The people who love you can do the most damage, but sometimes… they hurt you for you. And not everything is what it appears to be.”

  “Why is everything a lesson? I get it. Work my mind, build instinct, and solve problems, Dad, but I’m already Blaze. I passed all these damn tests. Can you just be straight up and tell me what you really want to say? Why you’re worried for my safety?”

  “Love you, sweetheart.” He puts an end to the conversation, officially shutting me down.

  With a sigh, I shake my head. “Love you, Dad.” I hang up, tossing my phone into my gym bag, and drive the last few blocks to the academy. I can’t help but stress over what my dad’s hiding along the way.

  When I pull into the lot, I don’t even have a chance to put the car in park before Alec is exiting the building, headed straight for me.

  “Welcoming brigade?”

  “It’s dark,” he scowls, his eyes scanning the lot behind me. “Hurry up and grab your shit, so we can get back inside.”

  “Good morning to you too.” I glare at my things as I grab them from the passenger seat.

  Alec checks my doors aft
er I push the alarm button and, together we walk into the building. Once inside, he locks the door, disappearing when his phone rings.

  I try to focus on my typical morning routine, running through today’s schedule, reviewing the recruits timing progressions, but all I can think of is my dad and our strange conversation.

  Over the past two years, he’s been overly protective and paranoid. Well, more so than normal, but still. There was a definite, obvious change.

  More business trips, more late-night meetings.

  Maybe he’s anxious because I’m not a kid anymore, and eventually, I’ll move out. Not that I’m in a rush. I like being here with him. He’s the only family I have.

  It’s been just the two of us since I was five days old, when my mother tried to hide my existence and put me up for adoption. With good reason, he stayed single after that. Never married, hardly ever dated. It was just him and me and the academy.

  He’d ask sometimes if I felt I needed a woman to talk to, but I didn’t miss what I didn’t have. And after a while, Rowan’s mom sort of took me under her wing.

  I think she wants me with Rowan even more than I do sometimes. She’s constantly making comments about how, one day, everything will be how it was meant.

  My dad would always laugh it off, never acknowledging mine and Rowan’s closeness. In all honesty, I don’t think he ever believed our relationship. Or lack thereof. I guess maybe no dad would want to think about their daughter’s love life.

  I’m pulled from my thoughts when Alec wordlessly sets a cup of coffee in front of me, disappearing before I can thank him. Only then do I realize I forgot my mug at home.

  It seems strange for Alec to notice something so small, but I don’t question it. I just appreciate the gesture.

  With a sigh, I turn on some music, forcing myself to get lost in work.

  It works and the day flies by.

  I had two days’ worth of written exams to grade and timings to update in our tracking system, so I was out of class all day. And I’m pretty sure Alec was on board, which was perfect. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to guide the recruits today as it was. I even hid from Rowan at lunch, choosing to eat in the back alone.

  A while later, after all the students and other staff members are gone, Alec drops into the seat on my left and starts reading over tomorrow’s lesson plan. His phone goes off several times, but he ignores it, eventually stuffing it in his front pocket.

  He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even look my way, so neither do I. I just keep working and before we know, it’s time to go.

  When I shift to stand, he looks up, watching my every move.

  I try not to think about his eyes on me, but it’s hard. Intensity rolls off him like a cloud of smoke, spreading until it sucks all the air from the room, leaving you breathless and desperate for… something.

  “You leaving?”

  I lick my lips, nodding. “I’m beat, so…yeah.”

  He stares, studying me.

  When I break eye contact, he hops up from his seat, his reflection staring at me through the door.

  Guess he’s leaving too.

  He says nothing as we walk to our cars, and still nothing as I get in mine and close the door.

  “He is so weird,” I mutter to myself as I kick on the heater.

  My phone rings as I back out, so I hit the answer on my stereo. “Hello?”

  “Oakley.”

  “Hey, Dad. I’m just headed home.”

  “I know.” My brows pull in. “Did you talk to Hannah?”

  “Yeah. She called me a couple hours ago, said she was headed home.”

  “Good, good. You tell her to call you when she got there?”

  “She said she would.” I turn down my street. “What’s going on, Dad? You freak about not wanting me alone, then send home Hannah. What gives?”

  “You won’t be alone.”

  “I… what?”

  “I’ve made arrangements.”

  “Dad. I don’t want one of your… whatever you wanna call the guys that travel with you.”

  “Not them.”

  “Then who?” I ask, pulling into my driveway. Just as I do, a black truck pulls up behind me, blocking my car in.

  The driver hops out and heads right for my door.

  “Oh, hell no,” I whisper in shock.

  “Oakley—”

  “Are you joking right now. No freaking way!”

  “Honey—” I turn the car off and hop out, hanging up on my dad.

  “No way!” I shout, stepping up to him.

  He ignores me and pulls my keys from my hand, grabs my wrist, and drags me to the door.

  “Alec!” I shout, fighting his grip. “What the he—”

  “Shut up, Oakley, and move your damn feet.”

  I growl, allowing him to unlock the door and shove me inside.

  He follows, locking the deadbolt behind him and before I can scream at him, he takes off, quickly entering and exiting every room in the house.

  “What the hell are you looking for? Stay out of my room!”

  He exits with a glare. “You forgot to make your bed after your little fuck session.”

  “Wooow. Okay.” I hop in front of him. “Talk, Alec. Now.”

  He steps around me, reaching into my fridge for a water. “Your dad asked me to stay with you till he’s home.”

  “What?”

  “Yup.”

  “My dad hates you, he wouldn’t—”

  Alec starts laughing a full, belly laugh, and I freeze mid-sentence, staring at the freak in front of me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him laugh.

  “Oh, Oakley. You really are as blind as you seem, aren’t you?”

  When I cross my arms over my chest, his grin grows.

  “Yeah, you are,” he continues. “This should be interesting.”

  “You are not staying here.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “I can have Rowan come. I don’t need you here.”

  Alec slams his water bottle down, quickly getting in my face. “No. You won’t. Bring him here while I’m here, and I’ll make this so much worse for you, Oakley. I’m gonna open your eyes, baby.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “If you’re lucky.” With that, he storms off, slamming the door to the spare room behind him.

  And there I stand, alone in my kitchen, with more questions than I can even begin to work through.

  ***

  An hour passes before Alec shows his face again, phone to his ear.

  “Yeah. I made sure. Don’t worry, I got it under control.” His eyes lift to mine. “I may have to talk your daughter off a ledge, but I can be persuasive.” He laughs at whatever my traitorous father says and stuffs his phone in his pocket.

  “Since when do you talk to my dad?”

  “Since always.”

  I shift on the couch. “That’s crap. He never even liked you.”

  “I love how you only see what you want. That something you picked up ’cause your mom left?”

  I gasp, and he stares.

  I wait for an apology that never comes.

  Chapter 8

  “What the fuck do you mean, Alec is staying with you?”

  “Exactly what I said.”

  “No. No, no, no…” he whispers to himself. I imagine he’s pacing. “Oakley. Come stay with me.”

  “I… can’t, Row. My dad is crazy adamant about me staying here.”

  “You’re a fucking adult, Oakley. You don’t have to listen to your dad. Come to my house. Stay with me. Please.”

  “Maybe if you were still next door at your mom’s, but you’re across town now. I can’t.”

  “Can’t, or don’t want to?”

  My brows pull in. “Can’t. Ever since that break-in we had a few months ago, when we went on vacation, my dad has made sure someone has been home.”

  “They didn’t even take anything. That’s an excuse.”

  I pinch my lips to the side and sit up on m
y bed. “Rowan… what’s the real problem here? You’re being an ass.”

  “I don’t want him there with you, alone.”

  “If I’m not safe with him—”

  “No… I…” he groans. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to scare you. He’d never…” He sighs. “You’re safe, Oak.”

  I relax into my comforter.

  “I want to come over.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

  “I’m coming over.”

  I laugh. “I can order wings if you wanna grab them on your way?”

  “Call now?”

  “Yeah.”

  I hang up and order right away, taking my time changing out of my work clothes and into a pair of thermal pajamas, then head into the living room to find something to watch.

  Alec comes out of the room he’s taken over the second he hears my footsteps.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Getting ready to watch something.”

  He frowns. “Are you not tired? It’s nine.”

  “What are you, sixty? Nine isn’t late.”

  “It is for someone who’s at work before six a.m., and doesn’t leave until after seven.”

  “I’m fine.” I start to fidget with the pillows on the couch and the more I do, the tenser I grow. I can feel his eyes narrowing more by the second, practically hearing the questions running through his head. He’s wondering what the hell I’m up to. Usually, I have a hell of a poker face, but not where Alec is concerned. He throws everything off balance.

  He doesn’t have to wonder long, because the front door starts to jiggle, the sound of keys on the other side.

  My eyes fly to Alec, who has a murderous glare pinned on me. “He has a key.”

  I simply shrug, and then the door is open.

  Rowan steps into the living room, not pausing or acknowledging the sight of Alec, but stepping straight up to me and kissing my cheek slowly, his hand wrapping around my back.

  I blush hard, but I’m not sure if it’s in lieu of the possessive nature in which Rowan is touching me, or the effect of the boiling gaze locked on mine behind him.

  When Rowan steps back, he looks down at me. “Come on. Your bed is more comfortable.”

  I hear a scoff behind him and notice the hard edge Rowan’s eyes take on at the sound.