“Sweetheart, so am I—so am I.”
Together they walked to the golf cart. He helped her in and they drove in silence to her treehouse. He told her he had chores to do and she watched him leave with a new sadness that made her chest ache. She’d miss him and hated seeing him go. A part of her wanted to ask if she could go with him, but she had a feeling he wanted to be alone.
She needed to be alone too, to think about what had almost happened between her and Ben.
A cool shower would help.
She grabbed a towel, a change of clothes and headed through the back door. She glanced from one end of the yard to the other, craning her neck to make sure she was alone. After being here for twenty-four hours she hadn’t seen any other guests. She undressed and turned on the water. She stepped under the spray and sighed languorously. It didn’t take long for her to forget she was showering in the open.
After standing under the stream until her muscles were mush, she shut off the knob, dried off and dressed.
Back upstairs, she rummaged through the pantry, found herself some soup and microwaved it. She took the bowl out to the patio and sat in the lounger, eating in silence. However, her mind was anything but quiet. Along came this man, Ben, who shed some light on her emotions. Made her think happiness was within reach.
She had been holding too close to her sorrow, not by choice, but because it was all she’d known for many years.
Everyone was telling her the same thing. Sofie told Cara the same as what she’d heard from Deirdre. It was time Cara learned her body again, what made it tick. What felt good—feel confident in her womanly curves and needs. Part of living each day was embracing good feelings.
She’d learned so much in one hour with Sofie. Common things that Cara just didn’t think about before.
Finishing her soup, she washed the bowl, dried it and placed it back in the cabinet.
Removing her clothes, she climbed into the satin sheets. They felt heavenly against her body. She imagined Ben lying next to her, admiring her with his beautiful eyes that seemed to penetrate her brink of sanity.
She touched her inner thigh, slowly gliding the tips of her fingers along the line until she reached her creamy slit, still warm and moist from thoughts of Ben’s touch. Smoothing her finger along the seam, she dipped her fingers inside of the dewy lips and found her most sensitive spot. She swirled the pad of her finger around the nub until it swelled and tingled. She envisioned Ben’s fingers touching her, his callused hand rubbing her delicate curves. Her body grew wetter and the prickles spread upward into the pit of her stomach. She gyrated her hips to the heated pulses.
In all of the times she’d attempted to please herself, she’d never gotten this far and had stopped out of frustration. She continued in urgency to bring her body toward release.
Ben’s clean scent remained in her memory and she breathed in. She liked his smell, his touch…she liked everything about him. He could have been inside of her now. His thick erection, big and hard. What would it feel like to have him slide into her body deep, connecting them? Her muscles quivered and spasms erupted, and she spread her legs wider, her lips separated, giving her fingers better access to the wet slit that ached for a man.
Slipping one finger into the ripples of tight muscle, she moaned and arched her back. Her knuckles dampened with her juices. Her body stiffened and warmth oozed from the tips of her toes, slowly crawling upward into her inner thighs and shooting sparks where she touched. With one finger rubbing her clit and another dipping in and out of her channel, she succumbed to scorching pleasure. Wrapped in passion, she called out Ben’s name as she drifted along the ultimate high of release.
Chapter Seven
Ben sat alone in the staff kitchen, surrounded in the shadows of the night and thoughts of Cara.
He was spinning from earlier events. He’d wanted her bad. And the feelings in his body had outranked the logic in his brain. He was still as hard as a tree branch just remembering how soft she was, how warm and inviting. He rolled his tongue along his lips. She’d tasted like cotton candy and kissed like a naughty vixen. Her fire had burned into his soul.
Ben pushed his chair back and the legs scraped the floor. He stretched out his legs, hoping to ease the strain behind his zipper.
He deserved the turmoil—every single bit of it. This was why he kept his dick in his pants when it came to heartbreaks.
No, that wasn’t accurate. He’d never wanted to cross the line with any other woman like he’d wanted to today. No one, no matter how beautiful or seductive, had enticed him to his wits’ end as Cara had. She made him want things he’d never known—never thought he could find—until she swept in and turned his world into a chaotic mess.
And after they’d been so close—so damn close that he could taste her on every cell of his body—he’d slammed into a wall, face first.
His every protective instinct had sparked when she’d asked if he was angry because she couldn’t follow through. Did she think he was an asshole?
As a teen, Ben had been close to the edge with a girl or two who’d simply taken him to the brink to turn him down. They liked the power of the tease, but he’d never been angry with any woman who didn’t want to take things further. Cara was far from being a tease.
Someone in her past had hypnotized her into believing she wasn’t pretty enough. Sexual enough. Good enough. He clasped his hands into tight fists. He’d like to meet up with the bastard that had hurt her, but he’d already guessed it was her husband who lay dead in a cold grave.
A woman like Cara deserved the best. She should be treated like a queen.
As much as he’d wanted to pleasure her with his tongue and his cock, he wouldn’t want to have her doing anything unless she was completely and utterly ready.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose and let his hand drop with a thud onto the table, sending his fork popping up and landing with a piercing ding.
Although she’d talked very little about her husband, Ben didn’t need to hear her confessions to realize it wasn’t a prized relationship. Cara had low self-esteem. Didn’t she realize how beautiful, how desirable she was?
“You look like shit, man.”
Ben looked up as Maverick came into the room. He pulled out a chair across from Ben and straddled it. “Gee, thanks.” Ben rubbed his jaw. He guessed he needed a shower and shave. Probably a few winks wouldn’t hurt either. The last time he looked, it was after eleven P.M.
“Running errands took me longer than expected. Why’d you need to see me?” Maverick leaned on his elbows on the back of the chair, concern etching deeper lines around his eyes. “I knew it must be serious because you keep to yourself during heartbreak season.”
Ben wasn’t sure what to do, but instinct warned him to tread carefully. He wasn’t too proud to admit when he was in over his head, or when he needed a helping hand. “How are the other heartbreaks?”
Maverick shrugged. “I was the tour guide for a doozy today. She has more money than she knows what to do with and she’s high maintenance, and likes to talk. I get the idea she’s used to men jumping at her commands. I had a hard time explaining to her that I wasn’t her companion, just a ranch hand, and rubbing her feet wasn’t my job.” He winked.
“I need a favor,” Ben leaned forward, placing his palms flat on the table.
“A favor?”
“Take a day with Cara.” It hurt Ben to even suggest it, but he knew he had to take a step back to gain his control.
“But you asked for us to let you take care of her.”
“I know.” He blew a breath through his tight lips.
“And you’ll take a day with Sicily? I am scheduled to run her to several appointments.”
“Yes.”
Maverick stared for a good three seconds until he burst into laughter. “Uh…let me get this straight. Sicily is a wolf in designer clothes. And I’d get to spend the day with that purdy little woman who looked like a deer in the headlights?”
&n
bsp; “You know I wouldn’t ask unless I thought it was best.” Ben had gone too far with her and he couldn’t trust himself that the attraction he felt wouldn’t continue to soar every time he laid eyes on her. He’d never been this crazy before, and the last thing he needed was to have some uncontrollable lust, or emotion, for a heartbreak.
“Damn, bro, this is highly unusual. The only time this happens is when—“ Maverick’s eyes widened. “Oh shit! You didn’t…did you?”
“Not sure what you’re asking, but I didn’t sleep with her.” Ben sat back into the chair, pulled off his hat and laid it on the table.
“But you feel it’s in the works?” Maverick’s interest was showing in his dark brown eyes.
“I feel that I overstepped a boundary and made things worse for her. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice. I need some time and all will be good with the world.”
“Are you falling for the chick?” Maverick lifted a thick brow.
“Hell, no. Me? Fall for a heartbreak?” Ben stabbed a thumb into the middle of his chest. “Just an attraction. We’ve all been there, right? I saved your ass a coupla times. Now I’m calling in a return favor.”
Maverick sighed and scratched his cheek. “Man, you know I’d do anything in the world for you. But how does Cara feel about this?” Ben shook his head. Maverick sighed. “So, she’s going to be pissed?”
“I think she’ll be relieved.”
“Are you sure this is what’s best?””
“Hell, man, I can handle a woman who is here just to throw around a little attitude. In fact, I can deal with the rich socialites any day over a timid, sweet woman who just wants to trust again.” Ben narrowed his eyes. “Don’t make me ask twice, Mav.”
Maverick shook his head. “You won’t ask any of the other men, we both know that for a fact.”
“Yeah? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I am. I’d say we’re as close to brotherhood without DNA as possible. And I know that you care about this chick, enough that you’d only ask someone who will take care of her, respect her, and keep their callused paws off.”
Ben pounded him on the back. “Sometimes, I think you’re pretty damn smart.”
“Why do you think all the ladies can’t keep their hands off me?”
“Now you’re sounding like Jared.” Ben laughed.
“He’s rubbing off on me. Fair warning, I think Sicily, your heartbreak tomorrow, is here just to find out what it’s like to have a whipping boy do her bidding.” He snorted. “Don’t say I didn’t give you a head’s up. And she is scheduled for a massage first thing in the morning. Don’t forget, ya hear?”
“Cara has a meeting with Sofie and a manicure and pedicure after.”
“Alright, partner.” Maverick stood and dipped his hat. “Enjoy.”
After Maverick left, Ben was left with his bittersweet emotions. He had hoped he’d feel a sense of relief. Instead, he felt like dog shit. He didn’t think the trade was the right thing to do, but Ben knew he could trust Maverick—any of the men really. They were all good guys. And Maverick knew if anything bad happened to Cara then Ben would have his head on a platter.
That night, Ben slept a good half hour and was up at the crack of dawn. By the time he headed to his new heartbreak’s treehouse, he had the least amount of excitement than he ever had before. Just his luck that the massage therapist canceled his morning appointments due to an emergency. Maverick warned Ben Sicily wasn’t pleasant and he had a feeling this would set her off in a bad mood. He knocked on her door and it opened with her standing on the other side looking like she’d tied one on and could barely stand straight. Ben didn’t remember Maverick saying anything about a problem with her tilting the bottle. However, it wasn’t unlike a lot of the women who came out here to relax with a drink, or two, or three.
“Who are you?” She blinked. Her eyes were smudged with black liner and her lips were smeared crimson. She wasn’t bad looking, and he guessed back twenty or so years ago, she probably had any man she desired.
“Something came up for Maverick, ma’am. I’m filling in for him.”
Her narrowed grey gaze slipped over him and she sniffed loudly. “I guess you’ll do just fine.” She opened the door wider, stepped back and motioned for him to come in. Once inside he inhaled a large amount of flowery perfume that instantly made his temples throb. “I’ll change and we can be off for my massage. I’ve been looking forward to it.”
Ben removed his hat and held it against his chest. “I’m afraid there’s a problem. The appointments have been moved to this afternoon.”
“That won’t do at all,” she slurred. “I hope you’re as skilled as you look.”
“Skilled, ma’am?” Ben reluctantly asked.
“Maverick told me the massage therapist has magical hands.” One corner of her thin mouth lifted. “If I can’t have a professional, those large hands will do.” She looked at his hands, a mischievous smile curving her lips.
“I’m not quite following.” Ben had a feeling this would not be something he’d like. At least he was hoping he misunderstood her meaning.
“A massage, dear boy. I was promised a body massage. Are you going to keep me waiting?” Reedy brows curved over glassy eyes.
Ben knew this was all his fault. He’d wanted the day away from Cara. He didn’t want, but needed, and as challenging as it was, at least he didn’t have to worry about misbehaving parts stiffening with Sicily. “I don’t think—“
“Don’t think, handsome, just do. I have a spasm in my back. I’m either going to have to drink the rest of the bottle of tequila or someone’s going to have to rub it out.”
“Fine. I’ll see what I can do.”
Why couldn’t she just want riding lessons? Or a day of fishing?
“Just what I like to hear.” She reached up and tugged her robe from her shoulders, allowing the wispy material to fall at her feet. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Ben had to hand it to the woman. She had more bravery and self-confidence than most women her age, probably too much.
Ben had encounters like this before. He was a professional and he was back in his comfy spot—the one where he felt nothing, only a cowboy doing his job. There were no funny twitches in his chest. No aching in his groin. No thoughts of how he wanted to hold Sicily in his arms and hear her moan in delight. Nope, none of those things.
But when she stretched out on her stomach on the bed and Ben situated himself at her side, she handed him a bottle of lotion named Sex Kitten’s Juice, Cara came to his mind like a jagged sword. Would she be angry at him for sending Maverick? Or would she be glad that he’d made the decision because she couldn’t face him either?
“Ooh…you’ve found the spot. If it doesn’t hurt, cowboy, you’re not doing anything right,” Sicily purred.
Ben couldn’t wait to get his hands on the massage therapist.
****
Cara heard the soft rap on her door and excitement gurgle up inside of her, but quickly fizzled when she opened it to find a stranger on her doorstep.
“Hello, Cara.” He tipped his hat and grinned.
“And you are?” She searched the porch, looking for Ben.
“Maverick.” He tipped his hat. He had a friendly smile, but she couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything but her swirling confusion.
“What are you doing here? Where’s Ben?”
“Something came up.”
She swallowed the ache in her throat. “Nothing came up. Please don’t lie.” The last thing she needed was another lie, as if she was too weak to handle the truth. He stayed silent. “Oh, so he told you not to tell?”
Maverick scuffed the toe of his boot across the wood. “Look, ma’am, Ben’s a good man. If he felt he done you wrong in some way, well, he wants to do right by you. I don’t know what happened, just for some reason he felt this was for the best.”
His embarrassment was obvious by his concerned expression. She knew it’d be useless to try to get information from him
. The cowboys probably had some brotherhood pact, protecting each other. She didn’t need to know what chased Ben away. He was too humiliated to face her.
Why did it hurt her that he didn’t come? It shouldn’t. She wasn’t here at Nirvana to strike up a relationship. She was here to grow. To learn new life skills. To enjoy nature—not a sexy cowboy.
Breathing in deeply, she exhaled and tried to push away thoughts of Ben. “You’re here to take me to my life skills appointment?” she asked.
“Yes. And you’re scheduled for a manicure right after.” He gave her a quick nod. “I’ll wait for you in the cart.” His smile was weak as he turned and headed down the stairs.
Cara closed the door and leaned against the cold wood. She was at a cross between two emotions, and neither was safe. She wanted to throttle Ben. Things got a little out of hand and he runs away? Or did he find touching her so disgusting that he couldn’t bear to see her again for risk that she’d expect more?
She made her way to the bed and sat down. Tears developed in her eyes and she blinked them away. She wanted to believe that Ben went away because he was scared of the attraction, and not revolted that things had gone so far.
Had she read too much in his touch? His kindness? She thought she’d felt the trembling in his touch, the reaction that proved he was turned on. He’d found her as exciting as she’d found him. Didn’t he….?
The poor self-esteem within her rose to an ugly head. Rejection sliced through the thin layer of confidence she’d built in the short time at Nirvana.
Cara wasn’t clever or knowledgeable when it came to matters like these. James had been the only man who’d ever touched her, so not having any comparison except to him, she thought a hard on equaled desire. James had never responded to her like Ben had. He’d looked at with lust, not disgust.
She was still angry when Maverick dropped her off at Sofie’s office. And when she asked what was wrong, the dam broke, tears streamed down her cheeks, and Cara told her everything—her close call with Ben. ”I’m confused. I really didn’t expect to come here and meet someone who made me feel like I’m hot soup on the inside. The brochure didn’t say anything about sexy cowboys who make you want things we can’t have.” She accepted the box of tissues Sofie handed her.
Ropin' Trouble (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 2) Page 8
