She stood there looking up at him. She knew she was going to have to be brave enough to tell him how she truly felt. She had to stop running. “I’m sorry. I should never have left.”
He sighed, cramming his hands in his pockets. “I need more than that. I let you all the way in. You’ve kept me on the outer fringes.”
“I love you. More than anything else in this world.” She took a deep breath and trudged on. “That’s why I would never date you. I couldn’t.” She took a deep breath and turned to walk a few more feet into the living room. “Remember Lisa telling you about my having been drunk one other time.”
“Yeah. I could tell there was a story, but she wouldn’t tell me.”
“Yeah, there’s a story. Now, do you remember the one time you kissed me when we were both still in college? We had come home for the summer.”
“Yes.” He looked up at her, and she could see his eyes had started to sparkle with remembered desire. She was going to have to talk fast or she might not get it all out.
“You captured my heart with one kiss. No other guy ever stood a chance. That’s the reason I never dated anyone guy for very long. I didn’t want to give a false impression. That and the fact that I didn’t want to ever get serious because I was afraid of getting hurt.”
Jenny had started to pace back and forth in front of him. “I’ve never been one to drink. That’s why I get drunk so easily. Lisa, thank God, was the one to find me when I dragged myself in at two in the morning. I’m not sure how much I managed to drink before I passed out. I didn’t even go to a bar. I went to the store and then sat in my car out at the river by myself. I did all of this after I turned you down that first time. I was miserable. Even then I wanted to give in. I just couldn’t talk myself into it.”
“Angel, you don’t have to tell me anymore,” he said, reaching for her but just managing to brush her arm with his fingertips as she continued to pace.
She turned back, giving him a shy smile. “Do you understand how much I love you? How much I need you?” She had come to a stop in front of him, and was looking up at him, waiting for a reaction. She was still terrified, but she knew she had to do this.
“Oh, Angel, I love you.” He reached down and picked her up in his arms. He couldn’t wait any longer. He had to touch her. When he started down the hall to the bedroom she breathed a sigh of relief and reached her mouth up to his. She knew she had a lot more to tell him, but it could wait a little while longer.
******
A little while later they were still lying in bed snuggled up together. Jenny was absent mindedly tracing patterns on Mark’s stomach with her fingers. “You know. I really needed that,” Jenny said with a smile. “Mindi and Lisa tried to explain how making love strengthens the spiritual bond between two people. But I just didn’t understand until after our first time. It can’t really be explained with words.”
“These last three days have been like hell on earth,” Jenny continued, still trying to explain something, she wasn’t sure could be explained at all. “I missed you something awful. I needed you. I can only just begin to understand how Lisa felt waiting for James to accept that she really did love him. I don’t ever want to spend a night away from you like that, again.”
“That was why I kept myself drunk for three days. I would have kept drinking until I ran out of alcohol. I couldn’t face the pain.”
“Your dad got rid of the rest of the beer and whatever else you may have had in there.”
“I don’t care. I don’t need it. That wasn’t the right answer. I just snapped and went a little crazy.”
“I’m sorry. I had to try to leave you, to realize I couldn’t leave you. I may not have wanted to ever get married, but I want to be married to you.”
“What did you mean when you told Dr. Roberts it was your fault?”
“I tried to leave you,” she answered dryly with a raised eyebrow. “Remember?”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. You said I hadn’t done anything wrong. And we both know better than that.”
“Are you saying you regret marrying me?”
“Never. But I took advantage of you in your moment of weakness,” he said shaking his head. She could see the guilt in his eyes. “It’s just that when you asked me to marry you, my heart answered before my brain could even catch up. You had already been wreaking havoc on my self-control with the dancing and then nibbling on my ear. You all but asked me to make love to you. I guess you could say, you caught me in a moment of weakness, as well. But I didn’t have being drunk as an excuse.”
“Mindi seems to think love is more potent than alcohol. And it’s not your fault that I had to be drunk to ask you for what I had wanted ever since that first kiss. Besides, I was just panicking at first because I felt like my escape hatch was closed.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“I’m glad you did it. I might not have been at first. But I am now.”
“The end does not justify the means.”
“I would never have allowed myself to give in any other way. I would never have given you the chance to prove you really loved me. I was way too terrified that you were just like all the others. If I had let you in, and you proved to be like the rest, it would have broken me completely. I was always denying I loved you. My family knew better. It literally was a family secret. They seemed to know I wasn’t prepared to deal with it. That I had to keep it hidden. They were all protecting my little secret.”
“It doesn’t change...”
“Shut up,” she snapped, starting to get angry. “Get over it, already. Yeah, you are to blame. You’re to blame for us being married. You’re the one I blame for my being happier than I have ever been in my life. Are you saying you want to take that back?”
He didn’t answer with words. He flipped her over on her back and proceeded to try and make her forget every argument he had uttered.
A couple minutes later she managed to pull her mouth away from his. “Mark, I wasn’t done talking. I have something I need to tell you.” She was panting so hard she could barely talk. It was a miracle he had heard, at all.
He looked into her eyes. “What? Is something wrong?”
“No.” She was hesitant, not knowing how he was going to take the news.
“Come on, Angel, tell me. Good or bad, as long as we’re together, I can take it.”
“Oh, it’s good.”
He sat back looking at her with concern. “Then what is it?” She could tell he was starting to get anxious.
“I’m pregnant.”
He sat there in total silence just staring at her. He couldn’t even move.
“Oh no. You still want kids, don’t you?”
Hearing the fear in her voice snapped him out of it. “Of course, I do. You just took me by surprise. That explains why when I said Mike might hurt you, you actually listened. You didn’t want him to hurt the baby.”
“Yes, this baby means everything to me. He or she is a product of our love for each other.”
“You may be as sappy as I am after all.”
“I don’t care. Call me sappy all you want.”
“Yesterday my world was falling apart. Now, I have you in my arms again, and I’m going to be a daddy. You’re giving me the most precious gift in the world. You’re having my child. Today I have everything I ever wanted. How did that happen?” All of the sudden he had tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Baby, please don’t cry.”
“They’re tears of joy. And thankfulness. I have so much to thank God for.” He took a deep breath, “And that’s despite how messed up I’ve been lately.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling,” she said laughing softly, as she wrapped her arms around his neck once again.
******
They had all gotten sit down to dinner and were still passing bowls and platters around when Mindi noticed what Jenny had on her plate. “Jenny, are you feeling okay?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, I’
m fine. Why?” she answered, barely looking up from her plate.
“Well,” she shrugged. “It’s just, ever since I can remember, you’ve hated asparagus.”
“Oh, well, I’m really hungry. I must not have been paying attention.”
“Sure.” She could tell Mindi wasn’t buying it, but she wasn’t going to push any farther.
When she finally got started eating, she was completely concentrating on her food. So much so, that she hadn’t noticed most of the adults at the table were watching her. They were more interested in what she was doing than they were in eating. It took a few times of Mark calling her name before she looked up. When she did, she found them all staring at her with their mouths hanging open.
Zane was the first to speak. “Hungry sis?” he chuckled before sticking a bite in his mouth.
“Yes,” she grumbled. “Didn’t I just say that?”
Finally, not being able to take anymore, Mindi burst out, “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
Jenny couldn’t answer. She was too surprised it was that easy for her sister to figure out. But when she started looking around, she realized anyone over the age of fifteen had figured it out.
When Mark started laughing, she elbowed him in the ribs. “Ow,” he grunted. She had nailed him right in the sore spot. “Ribs. Bruised,” he grunted. It sounded like he was having trouble breathing.
“Oh, Baby. I’m so sorry.” She had turned toward him, wanting to touch him, but unsure where to put her hands.
“Okay. Hang on. Back up,” Jamie said holding her hands up. “Are you pregnant?”
Jenny looked up at Mark, asking for help. “Just tell her. They’ve figured it out.”
She sighed softly, with a grin spreading across her face, “Like he said, you’ve figured it out.”
“Oh, my. At the rate this family is growing, we might need to expand the kitchen out into the back yard. Mindi’s pregnant, also.” Jamie thought for a second, then gave them both a sour look. “I know you’ve worked your problems out, and I’m thrilled about the baby, but I do have a question. Did either one of you stop and think about preventative measures since your marriage was on a trial basis?”
Mark almost choked on the bite of food he had just stuck in his mouth when he started laughing. “Mark, there’s nothing funny about this,” his mother-in-law said giving him a stern look.
“Oh, I know that. I was laughing about something else. Well,” he shrugged. “It is related.”
“What?” Her voice was starting to raise, and his laughter cut off immediately.
He glanced over at his wife, looking almost frantic. “Jenny, I think you bettered explain, before your mother comes across the table at me.”
“Thanks, throw me to the wolves,” she said giving him a dirty look.
“Hey, I tried.”
“What does he mean, he tried?” Jamie asked, giving her daughter a hard look. “What do you need to explain?”
“The first time, uh, he tried to, uh use a preventative measure. I knocked the whole box across the room. On purpose.” She turned bright pink and dropped her head in her hands. The whole table erupted with laughter.
“You may have convinced yourself it was only on a trial basis, but you would never have taken the chance of getting pregnant if you weren’t intending to stay with him. So, what changed? Why did you try to leave him?”
“What do you mean about me intending to stay?”
“I know you. You wouldn’t want to bring a child into the world under those kinds of conditions. So, once again, why did you try to leave him?”
“We talked about this last night, remember? He was acting like a jealous fool, and almost took Mike’s head off. I was a little intimidated. I panicked. I was afraid he really was going to kill him. He’s very possessive. I didn’t want him going to jail for murder.” She had started to run all of her words together. “And until Zane explained how Mark felt about Mike’s attitude toward women, I was afraid he would be that way with any guy who tried to talk to me.”
Mark looked at her trying not to laugh but horrified at the same time. “You mean to tell me, if I hadn’t freaked you out because of Mike, you wouldn’t have decided to leave?” His voice was so soft she was probably the only one who had heard what he said.
“Yeah, your intensity was a little frightening. I had to get away from you to process. I had to realize I was just as intense about you. That I was okay with your possessive side. That, and my hormones are little crazy, and I got more upset than I probably would normally.”
“I’m so sorry,” he flushed. “I didn’t mean to freak you out.”
“Men,” Lisa said looking at James. “What brings on this possessive side?”
“God made us that way. It’s the same part that causes us to be over protective,” James said giving her a look that pretty much said deal with it. Lisa just laughed.
“Yeah, I really thought Mark was going to kill Mike today.”
“You think that was bad,” Mark snorted. “He was lucky I didn’t know yet that you were carrying my child. I probably would have beat the crap out of him just for getting you upset.”
“Well, I was already upset before he even got there. I’d almost killed you. I got freaked out and left. If I had been able to control my emotions a little better, you wouldn’t have gone on a three-day bender.”
“Mark, what does she mean by three-day bender?” Jamie was giving him one of those mothering looks, and it was making him feel guilty.
He dipped his head, grumbling. “I got drunk late Friday night, and stayed drunk all weekend. I was still a little drunk this morning when she and dad found me.” He glanced up in time to see the look of horror on her face and gulped, starting to feel guilty. “Friday, I was having a really bad day,” he said feeling the need to defend himself. “Well, the worst day I’ve ever had actually.”
“Yeah, he thought he was dreaming that I was there this morning. He also has some nasty bruises on his ribs. He got in a fight with Mike Friday night after he started drinking. He didn’t remember it until Dr. Roberts asked him about it.”
“Are you okay?” Jamie asked, sounding concerned.
“Yes, no real harm done. Can’t say the same for Mike’s nose though,” Mark said, sounding a little sheepish.
“What did you do to Mike’s nose?” she asked, giving him a severe look.
“He looks like a horror film,” Zane jumped in wanting to laugh, but knowing his mom wouldn’t appreciate his humor at Mike’s expense, tried to hold it in.
She seemed to realize any way and gave him a typically stern look. “This isn’t funny Zane. I’m sure he didn’t deserve that.”
Now he was feeling the need to defend Mark. “Did you miss the part where Mike started it? He was trying really hard to start something earlier today. Mark just happened to be sober and more intent on keeping the idiot away from Jenny, then anything else.”
“Zane’s right. I was just trying to get him off of me. But if you had heard what he said about your daughter Friday night, you might wish I had done a lot more.”
“Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.” She reached over and laid her hand on Marks, “I do understand you were defending yourself and Jenny. And it sounds like you did enough damage for all of that,” she said, the sour look coming back. “But in the future, try not to get physical when trying to deal with a confrontation, please.”
“It’s not something I’m in the habit of. If I hadn’t been drunk, I’d probably dealt with it better.”
“Are you in the habit of getting drunk?” she huffed.
“No, that was the first time since college,” he said, looking down at Jenny. “I only got drunk once in college. Summer break actually.”
Jamie just shook her head. “Will you explain now what you meant by God dropping an Angel in your lap?”
“We were in the game room watching her favorite Bruce movie, when for some reason, she got nervous. I just remember…”
“Tha
t’s what we were watching?” Jenny asked, butting in. “At the time I was so keyed up, I couldn’t tell you what we were watching. I remember realizing it was a Bruce movie. That was it.”
“Oh, goody. She’s going to do it to you as well,” Mindi said with a smirk.
He gave his sister-in-law a questioning look. “Do what?”
“Interrupt you while you’re trying to talk. The day Lisa was trying to tell us why she felt it was more her fault than his that her and James had...” she hesitated, looking around the table. “Well, had gotten pregnant with Andrew, she wouldn’t shut up, at all.”
“Lisa, I told you that was my fault,” James huffed, giving her a strained look.
“Stop, James, or we’ll be telling our story,” Lisa said, her cheeks turning pink from embarrassment. She knew her mom would start asking questions if they didn’t stop while they were ahead. When her mom spoke, she proved her right.
“Don’t worry. We’ll get back to you two,” Jamie said with a grin. “Go ahead, Mark. Continue. Jenny, keep your mouth shut for a few minutes.”
“Okay,” he nodded, taking a deep breath. “Anyway, all of the sudden she jumped up like she was going to make a run for it. She tripped over one of my enormous feet and fell in my lap. I just remember feeling like God had just dropped an angel in my lap.”
“Why did you get so nervous, Jenny? You two had been watching movies together for years,” Jamie asked, giving her daughter a strange look.
“I don’t know if I can really explain it,” Jenny said turning a little pink herself.
“Will you try?”
Jenny slowly let out a puff of air. “We had sat down to watch a movie I had put in. But I wasn’t watching what I was doing, and I had grabbed some really sappy drama. I don’t even remember what it was now. But he was getting up to change the movie. When he did, his... Well, it was his leg hair really, brushed my knee. I remember thinking that it was really a soft touch for something that caused such a jolt to my system. But it felt like it had shot electricity through my whole body.”
Married in Vegas (The Townsends Book 3) Page 23
