by Skyler Jaye
Cadeyrn kissed him again, nipping at the base of Eadric's ear, before he pulled back. "I am glad you returned."
Eadric turned. Cadeyrn's purple eyes looked relieved. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the fae, resting his head on Cadeyrn's shoulder. "I am here now."
Cadeyrn held him tightly and said nothing. They both knew the unspoken words, that one day Eadric might decide not to return. There were so many uncertainties in their future, but at the moment Eadric was content staying in the fae's arms.
* * * *
Months went by. The days lengthened and the weather grew warmer. Eadric spent his time split between hunting with Cadeyrn and several of the other fae, and playing with the children. He wasn't expected to cook or clean--apparently those tasks were relegated to the lower-ranking fae--but he found himself keeping the cooks company on long evenings while he waited for Cadeyrn to get back from whatever business had them separated for the day.
Eadric still hated clothes, but he grew to accept wearing loose robes when he wasn't in his wolfskin. As a consequence, he spent more time in his wolfskin than he might have. It was strange. A part of him felt he might be compensating for the lack of other wolfshifters around. Still, the children seemed to love his wolf form and he enjoyed making them happy. They were not so different from the pack pups and playing with them helped keep his homesickness at bay.
He forced himself to visit only rarely. If he was going to accept Cadeyrn, then he needed to know if he could truly live in the clan dwelling. Still, some nights were hard, even with Cadeyrn wrapped around him. He yearned for the sound of his pack breathing around him.
There was still so much he didn't know about the fae, so many questions left unanswered. Their ways were strange, foreign but with just enough similarity to throw Eadric off. He spent as much time as he could sitting in on lessons with the children, for he figured that in many ways he was like a child--stumbling his way through the world on too-big paws, with senses working overtime to take in the sounds, the smells, the sights of the world.
One day, in the midst of spring, Eadric stumbled across the red-haired submissive of Boudicca sitting on a log. Cadeyrn had told him the fae's name was Aed. Eadric hadn't ever had a conversation with the male, though he'd had a few with Boudicca.
Aed was strumming the cords of a lute, humming along with them. He looked up as Eadric approached. "Greetings, Eadric."
"Greetings," Eadric said. "May I?"
Aed nodded and Eadric sat next to him. Eadric noticed a tattoo on Aed's arm that he didn't recognize. Aed had Boudicca's mark on his left arm and the clan's mark on his right, but above the clan's mark was what looked like a mountain. He frowned, remembering seeing the same mark on Boudicca's right arm, just below her tenth band.
"What does that signify?" Eadric asked, pointing to the tattoo.
Aed looked at his arm and smiled. "It is my consort mark."
"Consort mark?"
"I am the queen's consort. The... How does your pack put it? The mate of the chief?"
Eadric nodded. "So it is just another personal signifier?"
"Of a sort. It says that I rank above all save my lady."
Eadric blinked. "Even the dominant fae?"
"Even them, yes." Aed looked at him, his bright blue eyes kind. "A submissive mate takes on the ranking of their dominant. They rank above even the dominants lower than them."
"Oh." Eadric thought about that for a moment. "So if I accepted Cadeyrn...."
"Only three would rank above you in the clan. Your mate, myself, and Boudicca."
"Then Cadeyrn is the heir?" He had thought it might be the case after Yule, but he hadn't been sure and he hadn't asked.
Aed nodded. "Among fae clans, the prince or princess is chosen for their leadership and strength. Cadeyrn was chosen as the prince of this clan several years ago. He will be king when my lady steps down."
So many new words. Eadric sorted through them all. "And I would be the king's consort?"
"Yes, if you accept him." Aed seemed to hesitate for a moment. "A dominant is only allowed to mark one mate. It is very serious, Eadric. He would not be able to mark another as long as you lived."
Eadric leaned back a bit. "Do you not want him to mark me?"
Aed blinked. "Oh, no, that is not what I am saying at all. He obviously cares for you a great deal and I am pleased to see him happy. My lady has been worried about him, for he rarely takes a partner to his den."
"A partner?"
Aed considered him. "I do not know how your pack views casual sex, but among the clans it is a normal activity. There are many fae who never mark a permanent mate, for engaging in sex with someone who is not that mate is seen as a traitorous act. Cadeyrn has not had sex since he challenged you, and will not unless you accept him or reject him, no matter how long that takes."
Eadric nodded slowly. He felt a stirring of jealous anger in his gut at the thought that Cadeyrn had taken others to his den and mounted them. He had never mounted nor been mounted, though he dreamt of it, of Cadeyrn pushing into him and claiming him like that.
"I apologize if that upsets you."
Eadric shook his head. "Our cultures are different."
"They are. That is what makes it all the more amazing that Cadeyrn challenged you." Aed smiled, placing a light hand on Eadric's arm. "I do not know how he saw it in you, but I feel that you would make a good king's consort for this clan, should you choose to accept Cadeyrn."
Eadric smiled back at the fae, but inside his mind was racing. What had Cadeyrn seen in him? The challenge had been so sudden, so soon after they'd met, and now he knew how serious courting him was to the fae. It was all very confusing.
"I noticed you looking at my lute," Aed said, holding the instrument up. "Have you ever played?"
"No. I would like to learn, though, if it is possible to teach me."
"I should think you so. Here, this is how you hold it."
Eadric let Aed distract him for the rest of the day, but that night as he stood in front of Cadeyrn in their den, all his earlier questions came roaring back.
"You seem troubled," Cadeyrn said. He reached forward, but Eadric stepped back. Cadeyrn's hand fell in the space between them. "Eadric?"
"Why did you challenge me?" He lifted his chin, meeting Cadeyrn's eyes squarely.
Cadeyrn didn't answer immediately. He stared at Eadric, his eyes softening into some unnamable emotion. "I see the light of a warrior in your eyes."
Eadric frowned. "I am not an alpha...not the dominant."
"I know." Cadeyrn smiled. "But you are strong. We are kindred souls, in that way. It makes your submission to me all the more surprising, and admirable."
"You wanted me because you thought I would not submit?"
Cadeyrn shook his head. "I wanted you because I knew that if you submitted to me, it would be only for me."
Eadric considered his potential mate. "You are very possessive."
"I never said otherwise." He reached forward and this time Eadric let him. The fae wrapped a hand around the back of Eadric's neck. "You are beautiful, powerful, and I have never been so enchanted as that night when I first saw you standing out on the ice, glaring back at me and my hunting partners."
Eadric felt himself blush. He leaned forward so Cadeyrn wouldn't see it and rested his face in the crook of Cadeyrn's neck. He liked touching the fae, liked feeling the comfort of skin against skin. He liked Cadeyrn and that feeling had only grown stronger as the months wore on.
"What brought on this uncertainty?" Cadeyrn asked.
Eadric shrugged. "I was talking with Aed today and it had me thinking. I do not know how a wolfshifter could be a good consort for the clan. Will the clan not feel uncomfortable with one not born in the dwelling helping lead them in that way?"
Among wolfshifters, the chief was the leader and his or her heir next. The chief's mate was not expected to show leadership to any of the pack, though they often watched over the omegas and gammas and reported b
ack to the chief if they saw anyone unhappy. Omegas and gammas were followers, not leaders. It seemed among the fae, those lines blurred.
Eadric felt comfortable with that, knowing that he could be submissive and yet still a leader. It fit him better than the title of beta ever had, but still he wasn't sure he could be a leader for the fae. He knew he would doubt any decisions he made because of how uncertain he was about the culture.
"You would not be the clan's consort for many a year," Cadeyrn said. "I do not want you to worry about that. I am confident that by the time you are, if you accept me, you will also feel confidence in your role."
Eadric nodded slowly. He could wait longer. There was no true rush to him accepting Cadeyrn's claim. He didn't wish to do so until he knew more about the fae in general, for multiple reasons.
* * * *
Life continued. Eadric went to visit the Eoforwine pack on the summer solstice. It was the day of his birth and his family delighted in seeing him. They talked for long hours and ran together through the valley.
Wolfshifters hunted so differently from the fae that it took Eadric a moment to get back into the feel of it. Still, one could not simply erase years of training and that evening he and Oswald brought a fawn back to the pack.
He never spent the night in their den. Something called to him every time he considered and he found himself walking back toward the mountain before the moon fully rose in the sky.
The summer went on. Oswald joined in an alliance mating with a beautiful gamma named Hilda from several valleys over. She made his brother happy, so Eadric liked her. He knew it wouldn't be long before their pups were running around Eoforwine valley. He wanted to feel sadness at the thought that he wouldn't see them grow, but instead he found pleasure at knowing his brother wasn't alone and would never be alone again.
When Eadric wasn't visiting the pack, he was learning from Aed. Their lessons ranged from music to culture. They were more informative than listening in on the children's lessons. Aed showed him how the clan's consort behaved--making sure the dwelling was well kept and the fae happy. Eadric was introduced to more of the clan, from the shy and low ranking to the rough and powerful. He grew more accustomed to their ways, so much so that there were times when he barely recognized himself.
Some nights, when he felt too restless, he would slip from Cadeyrn's bed and pad out to the ramp. He looked up at the moon on those nights, feeling the urge to howl for his pack down in the valley.
But then Cadeyrn would get up and run a steady hand through his fur and Eadric would go back to bed without making the call.
Still, more months passed and he didn't accept the fae's claim. There were times when he came close--when they were kissing lazily on the furs, Cadeyrn pressing him down like the meaning of security--but he always turned away and Cadeyrn never pushed, though Eadric knew how it had to frustrate him.
Something always stopped Eadric, some question about whether he could truly be happy living amongst the fae for the remainder of his days. He wondered on dark nights whether Cadeyrn was worth giving up his entire pack for.
The nights grew shorter as the seasons changed yet again. Eadric learned to play the lute as well as any fae and he grew adept at hunting alongside them. He found home in the den that he and Cadeyrn shared and warmth in the robes encasing his manskin as the air began to chill.
Then winter hit and the Wild Hunt was upon them once more.
* * * *
"I wish to run with the pack."
Cadeyrn looked shocked. Eadric stood by the opening to their den. The Wild Hunt was to be that evening and Eadric had thought long and hard about what he was going to do. Cadeyrn had said he could stay in the dwelling if he didn't feel comfortable hunting the other wolfshifters, but Eadric had thought of a third option that morning and now he told it to the fae.
"Eadric," Cadeyrn murmured. "I... Are you sure?"
Eadric nodded. "I wish to join my pack for the Hunt. I may be a gamma now, but no of-age gamma has ever missed the Hunt." The omegas did, but that was because someone had to watch the pups and few omegas ever felt the need to feel like prey when they were already at the bottom rank of the pack.
"I told you, to me you are as alpha as your father or brother."
Eadric wanted to roll his eyes. For all that Cadeyrn knew much about the pack he didn't know everything. Eadric couldn't be an alpha, or a beta like he used to be. Not when he was a submissive mate. Still, it was different among the fae. If such a thing as a submissive alpha existed, both Eadric and Aed were that rank.
"Regardless, I wish to run with my pack."
Cadeyrn's eyes spoke of sadness. Eadric knew why. This was it, they both knew that. Eadric's final choice was upon them. He would run with his pack and then he would have to make the decision whether to stay with the wolfshifters, or join the fae for good.
It had been a year since Cadeyrn had challenged Eadric for the right to court him and Eadric was so close to having an answer. He just had to be sure. With the cold encasing the world, his heart burned with need and longing. He warred within himself and if he ever wanted to be happy, he needed to settle once and for all.
"I will not stop you," Cadeyrn said. He reached forward and gently kissed Eadric's lips. It said more than anything he could put into words.
Eadric pulled back, closing his eyes against Cadeyrn's bittersweet smile, and shifted into his wolfskin. He ran.
The pack hadn't been expecting him, that much was obvious, but they welcomed him back with wagging tails. He stayed in his wolfskin, not wanting to answer any questions. It would be dusk soon. Eadric was tired from his run down the mountain and across the valley, so he was glad for the rest he got before the fae came hunting.
It was strange, the difference a year could make. Eadric still took a place next to his brother at the front of his pack, except now Hilda was on his brother's other side. He felt calm, nothing like the nervous anticipation from last year, but there was still a spark of excitement in him. He wondered if Cadeyrn would be the one to hunt him, or if the fae would hunt a different wolfshifter in an effort to give Eadric privacy on this night of choice.
The hunting horn echoed through the valley. Eadric's father took off. Eadric ran with his family, relishing in the sound of their paws hitting the ground beside his own. The scents of the pack mingled together like harmony and unity and the family he'd known his whole life.
Soon enough, though, Eadric felt the fae running at their backs. Like last year, his father gave a quick command for them to separate. Unlike last year, Oswald didn't run alone. Hilda sprinted beside him as he turned right and Eadric left. Eadric knew they would be caught easier, running together like that, but he wasn't worried.
Eadric knew how the fae hunted now. He had learned throughout the past year as he hunted alongside them at the base of the mountain. Slowing his run, Eadric blended into the terrain. As expected, the fae hunting him ran past his location, listening for the sound of sprinting paws and the glimpse of movement across their vision.
Eadric backtracked. He circled around the valley. As he walked--careful to keep his senses open for any nearby fae--he thought of Cadeyrn.
There had been a night, many months ago, when Eadric had been sick with some springtime cough. Cadeyrn had stayed up endless hours by his side, pouring water into his dry mouth and holding him tightly as he shivered through fever. He'd been so miserable, and yet with Cadeyrn at his side the sickness hadn't seemed too bad.
The day after the summer solstice, Cadeyrn had surprised him with a mountain cougar, its throat gashed open. They'd skinned it and added it to their collection of furs. The first night Eadric had slept on it, he hadn't been able to stop himself from rubbing his face in the warm fur, remembering it was the fae next to him who'd hunted the creature for him.
Eadric remembered the look in Cadeyrn's eyes when he'd performed a song on the lute before him for the first time. He remembered how it felt to run beside Cadeyrn as they sprinted down the mountain af
ter a seven-pronged stag. He remembered the strength of Cadeyrn's arms around him.
He kept running.
The moon was high in the sky by the time Eadric realized that no fae could catch him. He knew their movements too well. Perhaps Cadeyrn could have found him, but his fae hunted others. Eadric missed his presence. For Cadeyrn, he would have let himself be caught.
Later that night, Eadric walked back to the pack's clearing. The wolfshifters were already there, the Hunt long over. Eadric settled down in the den with them. Oswald licked his ear and his mother nuzzled his neck. His father nudged him into the center of their pile.
He fell asleep curled against his father, mother, brother, and his brother's mate. They pressed close him, warm and reminding him of family.
And yet, there was an aching hole inside him. He felt lonely inside, and knew then he had his answer.
* * * *
Eadric's paw prints showed his slow trek through the snow. He looked back at them. There were visible reminders of what he was leaving behind.
It was Yule day and he was walking away from the home he'd known his whole life to a home he'd known for only a year. He wanted to feel some sort of melancholy, but instead his heart raced with excitement. He picked up speed and headed up the side of the mountain.
The dwelling bustled with energy. Eadric knew that the performers were preparing for their show around the bonfire that night and the cooks for the feast. He saw Cadeyrn. The fae had his back to him, playing with the children. They were crowding around him more than usual. Eadric wondered why.
He headed up the ramp to their den. Inside, he shifted to his manskin and picked out a simple robe. They'd have time to change into their Yule clothes later. He walked back down the ramp and through the clearing to where Cadeyrn sat.
Eadric knelt next to his mate. Cadeyrn stiffened and turned to look at him with wide eyes. "Eadric," he breathed.
"Cadeyrn," Eadric greeted.
Cadeyrn reached forward, rubbing a thumb across Eadric's cheekbone. "You returned."
Oh. Eadric wanted to blush. Of course, he'd stayed the night with the pack. Cadeyrn must have thought that was his answer. He caught Cadeyrn's hand in his. "I do not plan to leave anymore." He looked down. "If you still want me."
