The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

by Nagaru Tanigawa

  “What exactly should we be looking for?” Koizumi asked rather blithely. Next to him was Nagato, who was periodically moving her cup to her mouth.

  Haruhi slurped up the last few drops of her iced coffee before brushing her hair behind her ear.

  “Anything that defies common sense. Anything that looks suspect. Any person that seems mysterious. Yes, discovering the location of a distortion in space-time, or an alien masquerading as a human would be good.”

  I almost spit out the mint tea in my mouth. Oh? Asahina had a similar expression next to me. Nagato looked the same as always, though.

  “I see,” Koizumi said.

  Do you really understand?

  “So basically, we should search for actual aliens, time travelers, and espers or any signs they may have left behind. I understand perfectly.” Koizumi’s face looked rather cheerful.

  “Yes! You show promise, Koizumi. That’s exactly right. Kyon, you should learn to be as understanding as he is.”

  Don’t feed his ego too much. Koizumi returned my hateful glare with a smile.

  “Then shall we get going?”

  Leaving the bill in my hand, Haruhi strode out of the café.

  I don’t remember how many times I’ve said this already, but I’ll say it again:

  “Good grief.”

  With a “This seriously isn’t a date! If you go off somewhere to play, I’ll strangle you!” for a farewell, Haruhi marched off with Koizumi and Nagato following behind her. Using the station as a base, the Haruhi team went east, while Asahina and I were supposed to search west. Search for what?

  “What do we do?”

  Asahina held her purse as she watched the other three leave before looking up at me. I wanted to take her home with me right then. I pretended to think it over.

  “Hmm. Well, there’s no point in standing here, so why don’t we just walk around somewhere?”

  “OK.”

  She obediently followed me. The way she quickly jumped away when our shoulders accidentally brushed as she hesitantly walked alongside me painted quite the picture of innocence.

  We walked north along a nearby riverbed for no particular reason. The cherry trees would have been pink with petals a month ago, but now there was just a disheartening riverside path.

  The place was perfect for strolling along the river, so we passed a number of families and couples. From a stranger’s point of view, we would have looked to be a close pair of lovers. They wouldn’t expect us to be a couple of fools on a search who don’t even know what they’re looking for.

  “This is the first time I’ve ever walked around like this.”

  “Like this?”

  “All alone with a boy…”

  “That’s very surprising. You’ve never gone out with someone before?”

  “I haven’t.”

  “Really? But you probably have guys asking you out all the time.”

  “Well…” She hung her head shyly. “But I can’t. I’m not allowed to get involved with anyone. At least, not in this…”

  She suddenly became quiet. Three couples looking like they didn’t have a care in the world passed behind us before she spoke again.

  “Kyon?”

  I was counting the number of leaves floating by in the river when her voice brought me back to the real world.

  Asahina looked at me with a brooding expression on her face. She then spoke in a firm voice.

  “I have something to tell you.”

  I could see the determination glimmering in her doe eyes.

  She sat next to me on a bench under the cherry trees. But she was finding it hard to start talking. After mumbling things like “Where do I start,” “I’m terrible at explaining things,” and “You might not believe me,” Asahina eventually caught herself and said this.

  “I do not belong in this epoch. I come from further into the future.”

  “I can’t tell you exactly when and which time plane I come from. I couldn’t tell you if I wanted to. The information about the future that can be revealed to people in the past is severely restricted. I was required to undergo mental conditioning and receive mandatory hypnotism before boarding the trans-time vehicle. So if I try to say anything beyond what’s necessary, I will automatically be blocked. Please keep that in mind as you listen.”

  Asahina spoke.

  “Time cannot be viewed as something that flows continuously. Rather, time is an accumulation of punctuated planes.”

  “I’m already lost.”

  “Um, let’s see. Picture it as animation. It looks like it’s moving, but it’s actually composed of a sequence of still frames. Time can be considered a similar kind of digital phenomena. Would it be easier to understand if I compare it to a flip book?

  “Breaks exist between one time and another time, though their rate of occurrence is close to zero. That is why time appears to have no breaks in continuity.

  “Time travel means moving in a three-dimensional direction across the accumulated time planes. Being from the future, my presence on this time plane is similar to that of an extra picture added into a flip book.

  “Because time has no continuity, even if I tried to change history in this epoch, those changes wouldn’t be reflected in the future. The changes would only affect up to the end of this time plane. If you only scribble on one part of a flip book with hundreds of pages, the story won’t change, right?

  “Time isn’t analog like this river. Every moment is a digital phenomenon made up of accumulated time planes. Do you understand now?”

  I considered if I should press my hand against my forehead. I ended up doing it.

  Time plane. Digital. I didn’t care too much about those things. But a time traveler?

  Asahina stared at the edge of her sandals.

  “The reason I came to this time plane was because…”

  A couple with two children passed by, their shadows falling across us.

  “It was three years ago. A large timequake was detected. Oh, um. Three years ago if you count from the current time. Back around when you and Suzumiya became middle school students. After arriving in the past to investigate the matter, we were shocked. No matter what we tried, we were unable to go any further back in time.”

  Again with the three years ago business, huh?

  “The conclusion was that a large time fault had appeared between time planes. But we couldn’t figure out why the fault was limited to this epoch. We only learned the possible reason recently…. Ah, recently for the future I come from.”

  “… And the reason is?” Don’t tell me it’s that.

  Unfortunately, my wish wasn’t granted.

  “Suzumiya.”

  Asahina said the dreaded word.

  “We found her in the center of the time warp. Don’t ask how we discovered this. It goes into classified information so I’m unable to explain any further. But it is certain. Suzumiya was the one who sealed the path to the past.

  “I really don’t think that Haruhi is capable of something like that….”

  “We didn’t think so either. Truth be told, we are still unable to explain how a single human was able to interfere with time planes. It is a mystery. And Suzumiya is unaware that she’s doing any of this. She has no idea that she was the origin of a timequake. I was sent to observe if any new time variations will appear near Suzumiya…. Um, I can’t think of a good word for it, but it’s like surveillance.”

  “…” was my response.

  “You probably don’t believe any of this.”

  “Not exactly… But why are you telling me this?”

  “Because you are the person chosen by Suzumiya.”

  Asahina turned her whole upper body toward me.

  “The details are classified so I can’t explain any further. However, you are probably an important person to Suzumiya. Every action she performs has a reason behind it.”

  “Nagato and Koizumi are…”

  “Those people are extremely similar to me.
I never would have expected Suzumiya to assemble us in such a precise fashion.”

  “Do you know what they are, Asahina?”

  “That’s classified information.”

  “What happens if Haruhi is just left alone?”

  “That’s classified.”

  “And wait, if you’re from the future, you should know what’s going to happen.”

  “That’s classified.”

  “What will happen if I tell Haruhi everything?”

  “That’s classified.”

  “…”

  “I’m sorry. I can’t tell you. Especially since I don’t have enough authority right now.” Asahina looked apologetic with a downcast look on her face. “It’s OK if you don’t believe me. I just wanted to let you know.”

  I just heard something similar a few days ago. In that empty, silent apartment room.

  “I’m sorry….”

  Perhaps seeing my silence and worried about what I was thinking, Asahina’s eyes became clouded.

  “… About suddenly telling you all this.”

  “I don’t really mind….”

  First, there was someone telling me she was an artificial human of alien creation, now a time traveler shows up? How am I supposed to believe all of this? Feel free to let me know.

  As I placed my hand on the bench, I happened to touch Asahina’s hand. Our pinkies barely touched yet she tore her hand away like she’d been shocked. She looked down again.

  We continued to watch the river in silence.

  An unknown amount of time passed.

  “Asahina.”

  “Yes…?”

  “Can we put this all on hold? Just set the matter of whether or not I believe you aside and put this on hold.”

  “OK.”

  Asahina smiled. A brilliant smile.

  “That’s fine. For now. Please continue to act normally around me. I’m counting on you.”

  Asahina placed three fingers on the bench and bowed deeply. That’s a bit excessive.

  “May I ask one thing?”

  “What is it?”

  “Please tell me your real age.”

  “That’s classified information.”

  She smiled mischievously.

  Afterward, we just meandered around town. Haruhi had firmly reminded me that this wasn’t a date, but I really couldn’t care less after what I had just heard. We window shopped around some trendy boutiques, bought some soft serve to eat as we walked, browsed through stalls with used women’s accessories…. In other words, we spent the time doing things a normal couple would do.

  If we had held hands on top of that, I could have died and gone to heaven.

  My cell phone rang. The caller was Haruhi.

  “Reassemble at noon in front of the station like earlier.”

  She hung up. I checked my watch. 11:50. We couldn’t make it in time.

  “Suzumiya? What did she say?”

  “We’re supposed to reassemble, apparently. We’d best hurry.”

  I wondered how Haruhi would react if we showed up arm in arm. She’d probably be pissed.

  Asahina buttoned up her cardigan as she curiously looked up at me.

  “Results?”

  After we got there ten minutes late, this was the first thing out of Haruhi’s mouth. She looked to be in a bad mood.

  “Anything?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Were you even looking? Are you sure you weren’t just wandering around? Mikuru?”

  Asahina shook her head.

  “What about you? Did you find anything?”

  Haruhi fell silent. Behind her, Koizumi had a cool look on his face and Nagato stood blankly.

  “Let’s have lunch and plan for the afternoon.”

  You want to keep going?

  As we were eating lunch at a hamburger place, Haruhi told us to split into groups again. She pulled out the five toothpicks she had taken from the café. Resourceful gal.

  Koizumi quickly drew his.

  “I drew unmarked again.”

  Sickeningly white teeth. I got the feeling he never stopped smiling.

  “Me too.”

  Asahina showed me the toothpick she drew.

  “What about you, Kyon?”

  “Marked, unfortunately.”

  Haruhi directed Nagato to draw a toothpick with an increasingly irritated expression on her face.

  As a result of the drawing, I ended up with Nagato and the other three were together.

  “…”

  Haruhi glared at her unmarked toothpick the way you would glare at a bitter enemy. She then looked at me, then Nagato, munching away at a cheeseburger, and puckered her lips like a pelican’s bill.

  What is she trying to say?

  “Meet in front of the station at four. You had better find something this time.”

  She noisily slurped down the rest of her shake.

  This time, we split up searching north and south. Nagato and I were responsible for the south side. Asahina waved her small hand at me before she went on her way. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

  And so there I was, standing amidst the early afternoon bustle in front of the station.

  “What do we do?”

  “…”

  Nagato was silent.

  “Want to get going?”

  Once I started walking, she followed suit. I was starting to grow accustomed to how to deal with her.

  “Nagato, about what you said the other day…”

  “What?”

  “I’ve started to feel a little like I can believe you.”

  “I see.”

  “Yeah.”

  “…”

  We continued to walk around the station in silence with a hollow atmosphere in pursuit.

  “Don’t you have any normal clothes?”

  “…”

  “What do you usually do on days off?”

  “…”

  “Are you having fun right now?”

  “…”

  Well, that’s pretty much how it went.

  This pointless walking around was starting to get on my nerves, so I took Nagato to the library. The main library was closer to the seashore, but there was a new library near the station that had been constructed on land developed during a government expansion project. I don’t really borrow books so I’ve never been inside.

  I was planning on sitting down for a break if there was a sofa or something, but while there were sofas, they were all taken. Damn bored people. Don’t you have somewhere else to go?

  As I looked around the library, discouraged, Nagato floated toward the bookshelves like a sleepwalker. I’ll leave her alone.

  I used to read a lot. In my early elementary school days, I would read every children’s book my mother borrowed from the library from front to back. The books were of varying genres, but I recall that I found them all interesting. Yet I don’t remember any of them in detail.

  When was it? That I stopped reading. Lost interest in reading?

  I drew from the bookshelf whichever book my eyes happened to fall upon and flipped through the pages before placing it back on the shelf and repeating the process. I didn’t think that with so many books it would be so hard to find one that looked interesting without having prior knowledge about it. And with such thoughts in mind, I wandered the shelves for a book.

  When I looked for Nagato, I spotted her standing in front of a bookshelf near the wall reading a book so thick it could serve as a dumbbell. She must really love thick books.

  I spotted some old guy who had been flipping through the sports page getting up from a sofa, so I slipped into the open spot with a randomly selected novel in hand.

  It’s pretty futile to try to read a book you don’t actually want to read, and I soon found myself battling an inevitable onslaught of drowsiness. I quickly fell against the overwhelming waves of enemy attacks and drifted off.

  My back pocket vibrated.

  “Wha—?”

  I jump
ed up. When the other people looked pointedly at me, I recalled that I was in a library. I wiped the drool off my chin and jogged outside.

  I placed the cell phone with its vibration mode in full action to my ear.

  “Do you realize what time it is now, you moron?!”

  A deafening voice pierced my eardrums. That cleared up my head.

  “Sorry, I just woke up.”

  “What? You lazy bum!”

  You’re the one person I don’t want calling me a dumbass.

  I checked my watch. 4:30. We were supposed to meet up at four, I think.

  “Get your ass back here! Within thirty seconds!”

  Don’t be ridiculous.

  After she rudely hung up on me, I put my cell phone back in my pocket and walked back into the library. Nagato was easy to find. She was standing still in front of the first bookshelf I spotted, reading some encyclopedia-like book.

  This was when the struggle began. In order to move Nagato, who when reading is apparently rooted to the floor, I had to get her a library card so she could borrow the book. All the while ignoring the flood of calls from Haruhi.

  When Nagato (carefully holding a philosophy book penned by somebody with a complicated name) and I got back to the station, we were met by three people with three different reactions.

  Asahina, looking exhausted, sighed a smile at us. Koizumi shrugged in an exaggerated motion. Haruhi looked like she had just chugged a bottle of Tabasco sauce.

  “Late. Penalty.” she said.

  My treat again, huh?

  In the end, after yielding no results or satisfaction and wasting time and money like no one’s business, today’s outdoor activity came to a close.

  “I’m exhausted. Suzumiya walked really fast. It was all I could do to keep up,” Asahina said before taking a breath, just as we were splitting up. She then got on her tiptoes and whispered into my ear.

  “Thank you for listening to what I had to say today.”

  She quickly backed off and smiled shyly. Does everybody in the future smile so gracefully?

  With a cute “bye” by way of farewell, Asahina walked off. Koizumi lightly patted my shoulder.

  “Today was quite fun. Indeed, Suzumiya is every bit the interesting person I expected. I regret that I was unable to be in a group with you today. Perhaps another time.”