She could see Tommy as the fog cleared. His hair was a mess, he hadn't shaved in a while and his eyes were wild. She had never seen him like this before.
"I call you and you don't answer. And now I hear you're with another man!" He shook her. "You little slut!"
Amanda was beginning to feel dizzy. Panic was clogging up the air she had left. She knew Tommy had a vicious streak in him but he had never flipped out like this. And he was going to kill her.
She gripped his wrist and pushed, managing to ease the pressure a little on her throat.
"I'm not your property, Tommy." She gasped. "You don't own me."
"You think, Mandy?" Tommy shoved back and clamped tighter on her throat. "You're my girl and no one is going to touch you."
He had tried calling her and Amanda had put a block on his number on all of her phones. He had attempted to see her at work and at home but Amanda had made everyone aware he was not to go anywhere near her. Grayson had tried to persuade her to go to the police and take out a restraining order on Tommy to make her feel safer. Amanda had refused, thinking that Tommy wouldn't really hurt her.
Now she was wishing she had done.
"I don't do what you want in bed and you still want me?" She couldn't believe the ludicrous logic. "You're insane."
"I had you first." Tommy snarled.
He reached into his jacket and took out a gun. Amanda's heart stopped when he pressed the barrel against her head. Tommy's expression could only be described as maniacal. He didn't look like the man she had loved and lived with for two years. He looked like a stranger.
"If I can't have you," Tommy spat, "Nobody can."
Amanda wanted to scream but he was squeezing her windpipe hard. Black spots began to appear in front of her eyes and she could feel herself slipping into unconsciousness. Weakly she tried to fight back but Tommy squeezed harder.
"Amanda!"
Amanda couldn't be sure if she heard Grayson's voice or if it was her imagination. But she felt relief as she lost her strength. He had come for her. She was safe.
With a snarl Tommy shoved her away and stood. Amanda rolled onto her side and gulped as much air as she could into her lungs as he strode away. It felt like her insides were burning and she couldn't get enough oxygen. She retched and closed her eyes, waiting for the world to stop wavering.
She heard a gunshot and her eyes flew open. Then there was a growl that didn't sound human. It sent shivers down her spine. She heard Tommy swear loudly and his gun went off twice more.
Fear gripping her, Amanda raised her head and found herself looking at Tommy squaring off with a bear. It was huge, bigger than she expected a bear to be. Its teeth were as long as her arm, his mouth open wide as he snarled at Tommy.
Tommy was pointing the gun at him but his hand was shaking. Amanda could see he looked terrified. She couldn't blame him; she was scared to move in case the bear turned on her and attacked her.
Tommy screamed and began firing. The bear moved faster than Amanda expected it to and dodged the bullets, leaping at Tommy. It knocked the gun away and batted Tommy round the head with its paw. Tommy was knocked off his feet and into a nearby tree, where he slumped to the ground and didn't move.
Amanda felt the panic intensify as the bear prowled towards Tommy. She had to do something. She had to get away. But she couldn't move. She would be forced to watch this creature tear Tommy apart before it turned on her.
Then the bear suddenly began to change. A strange glow seemed to emanate around it and it began to shrink. Amanda's eyes were wide as she watched the bear change and shift from its huge form into human form. The fur and claws disappeared, the snout and teeth vanished, and a naked Grayson was crouching beside Tommy, two fingers at his throat checking for a pulse.
Amanda felt as though the world had shifted. She couldn't believe it. Grayson was a shifter? And a bear shifter? How had he managed to keep that quiet?
As she stared at Grayson checking Tommy over, things began to fall into place. The tears in her duvets were from his claws. His strength had to be shifter strength. And his eyes...she remembered Mary Ellen's glowing when she was angry or aroused. Grayson's must do the same thing.
He had lied to her.
Grayson stood up and hurried over to her. Amanda couldn't admire his body now. She couldn't drool over his nakedness. She just wanted to get away from him.
"He's unconscious." Grayson was sweating. "I'll call the cops and the paramedics." He crouched beside her, keeping his distance. Somehow he sensed that he couldn't come any closer. "You okay, Amanda?"
Amanda slowly sat up. She felt like she had been kicked in the stomach. Grayson Allen, the man she had fallen in love with, had lied to her.
"You're a shifter."
Grayson had the decency to look embarrassed.
"Erm, yeah. I am."
Now the shock was starting to abate, anger began to replace it. She reached out and slapped him, the sting making her hand tingle.
"Why didn't you tell me, you bastard?"
Grayson touched his fingers to his cheek, surprise in his expression.
"I...I didn't..."
"You didn't want me to be repulsed and run away? Grayson, I know about shifters. My best mate is a wolf shifter, for fuck's sake."
"It's not something I broadcast." Grayson snapped. "I'm not good at trusting people with my...status."
If she hadn't been so angry, Amanda would have understood why he kept it a secret. She would have been grateful for him saving her life. But her heart was involved and it was shattering with the realization that he wasn't who he said he was.
"And you didn't trust me enough to tell me." She said through gritted teeth.
She managed to stand, her legs still a little shaky. Retrieving her bag and her keys, she began to go to her car when Grayson grabbed her arm and swung her round to face him.
"I was going to tell you tonight!"
He looked desperate but Amanda was too enraged to care about him. She slapped his hand away and shoved him in the chest.
"You lied to me." She accused. "You've been lying to me all this time."
"Not intentionally." Grayson protested.
"Because you didn't trust me." Amanda snapped. She jabbed a finger at his bare chest. "I don't care about dating a shifter. I just wish you'd told me up front. It explains a lot of things, though. I should've figured it out at the start."
Grayson looked torn. He reached for her.
"Amanda..."
Amanda stepped out of his reach. She was about to cry and she wasn't going to do it in front of him.
"Keep away from me." She began to shake. This was too much for her. "I'm sorry, Grayson, but I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me."
"But I do trust you!"
Grayson sounded so sure but Amanda saw the indecision in his eyes. And that broke her heart. She shook her head.
"Do you really?"
She turned and ran. She could hear Grayson shouting after her but she kept running. There was no way she would be able to drive in her state and she was sure as hell not asking Grayson for a lift. He could find his own way home.
Tears choking her, Amanda slowed to a hurried walk and fumbled for her phone. She had to get out of there. Grayson's betrayal was shattering everything inside her and she wanted to go somewhere safe and familiar before she broke down. She needed someone safe and familiar.
Hands shaking, she dialled the number of the one person she could trust. Mary Ellen answered on the second ring.
"What's wrong, doll?"
Amanda closed her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Come and get me now."
7. His Mate Comes Home
Mary Ellen groaned and tugged at Amanda's arm.
"Come on, Amanda. You've been cooped up in here for over a week."
Amanda growled and pulled her arm away.
"I don't care." She hugged her pillow tighter to her chest and curled further into her dressing gown cocoon. "I'll stay
in here longer if I have to."
"Until when?" Mary Ellen demanded.
"Forever for all I care." Amanda snapped.
It had been a week since Grayson had revealed that he was a shifter and Amanda was still smouldering. The anger had gone down to a sulk and then on to depression. Now she had retreated into her shell and refused to come out.
Grayson had lied to her. He might have thought he was sparing her but she would have wanted to know that sort of thing straight up. It infuriated her that he had made that sort of decision for her.
Her confidence, which had been sky-high in the last few weeks, was now rock-bottom. She didn't know if she could trust anyone anymore other than Mary Ellen. People just seemed to have an instinct to lie to her.
Her cell rang again, on the floor near the wall where she had thrown it. Mary Ellen retrieved it and checked the screen.
"Grayson's calling again."
Amanda swallowed and huddled tighter into her corner.
"I'm not talking to him." She said adamantly. "He needs to get the message that I don't want anything to do with him."
Mary Ellen sighed and cancelled the call. Tossing the cell onto the coffee table she ran her hands through her hair. After spending most of her time at Amanda's flat in the past week she was looking dishevelled and exhausted.
"Why don't you just let him explain what happened?"
Amanda knew she should. If she was behaving rationally she would let Grayson explain it to her and that would be the end of it. But the hurt at being lied to was still there. She shook her head.
"He didn't disclose that he was a shifter and I had to find out when I was in danger. He lied to me, Mary, and I'm not staying with another liar."
Even if he did save her life. Tommy had only a concussion and a broken arm after he had been thrown against that tree. Now he was under arrest and in custody and a restraining order had been given to Amanda so Tommy couldn't approach her if he got bail. Amanda was safe.
But she didn't feel like she was safe.
Mary Ellen sat on the sofa, nudging Amanda's feet out the way.
"So it's the fact that he lied to you that's the issue? Not because he's a shifter?"
She hadn't spoken to Mary Ellen about this beyond that Grayson had revealed he was a bear shifter but not in the way she wanted. She had left Amanda to her own devices.
"I have no problem with him being with a shifter, Mary. It's just that he didn't tell me." She swiped angrily at a tear. "Was he ever going to tell me?"
"In his own time, yes." Mary Ellen looked at her hands in her lap and took a breath as if bracing herself. "Listen, Amanda, Grayson has been spurned before by someone he thought he loved. He was gearing up to tell them about his shifter status but the woman walked out on him saying he had trust issues. And he does. He admits this. Things happened to him and this has made him wary about sharing what he really is."
Amanda listened to this, her heart clenching at the thought of another woman making Grayson the way he was. Then she narrowed her eyes at her friend when she realized that Mary Ellen spoke with genuine affection for her former lover.
"You talk as if you know him." She accused.
"Of course I know him. We've been friends since we were kids. We used to be neighbours and he would escape to hang out at my place whenever his parents shifted in their many fights."
Amanda was stunned. She had no idea.
"You never said." She said stupidly.
"You never asked." Mary Ellen looked up, her face pale and drawn. "But Grayson hasn't had much luck with women. When he met you I knew he would find what he wanted with you. I was right. He told me himself he was going to tell you because he trusted you not to run away. He has never hurt a woman and he is not going to start now."
Amanda didn't know what to say. Grayson trusted her. He did. He had saved her life and she had treated him badly. She closed her eyes as the realization washed over her.
"Oh, shit."
"Look, Amanda, that man is in love with you. I've never seen anyone so loved up as he is. You're his mate and he knows it. Having you like this with him is tearing him apart." Mary Ellen's eyes glowed. Amanda had never seen her this angry before.
"You need to get out of your self-pity and decide if this man is someone you should let walk away. Because he will eventually and you won't be able to get him back."
She flounced off the couch and snatched up her bag.
"I'll see myself out."
Amanda heard the door slam. Then she slumped on the couch, her face in her hands.
Mary Ellen was right. She had screwed up royally. Sulking wasn't going to get anyone anywhere. She had had a good man and she had run away because she had compared him to Tommy. There was no one to blame but herself.
She just hoped Grayson saw it that way.
#
Nothing seemed to be out of place when Mary Ellen pulled up outside Grayson's house but she could hear his stereo turned up loud. The pounding beat could be heard from the street.
Oh, boy. She had some serious work to do. After a week trying to get Amanda to come round to the realization that Grayson hadn't been malicious in his omission, Mary Ellen wasn't in the mood to deal with a moody bear. She had had enough to that when Grayson was a teenager.
Seeing a shifter without its mate was not a pretty sight. She needed to get him to stop feeling sorry for himself and win his mate back.
The pressure of the pulsing drum and bass hit her in the face as she went through the front door. It was so loud her head felt like it was about to explode. Clamping her hands over her ears, Mary Ellen went into the living room. Grayson was slouched on the sofa, staring at the TV as a child's cartoon paraded across the screen.
A half-empty bottle was in his hands and there were more bottles scattered across the floor, including several crushed cans. He was just dressed in a dark t-shirt and black sweatpants. Both looked as though he hadn't changed all week.
Mary Ellen went to the stereo and switched it off. The sudden silence made her wonder if she had gone deaf but it felt better once her ears stopped ringing. Then she went to the TV and turned it off, standing in front of it as she glared at Grayson.
"For crying out loud, Grayson! Why are you doing this?"
Grayson looked up at her morosely. His hair was unkempt and his eyes were sunken. Clearly he had not slept.
"Why do you think?" He growled. He glared at the bottle in his hand. "I wish I wasn't a shifter right now. I want to get drunk."
He sat up and threw the bottle at the wall. Mary Ellen caught it out of the air and put it on the coffee table.
"It's probably a good thing. I'd have to pour a gallon of coffee down your throat."
"Leave me alone, Mary Ellen." Grayson slumped back on the couch, a forearm over his eyes. "I don't want company."
"Tough. Your mate is out there and all you can do is attempt to drink yourself into a stupor."
Being a shifter had its advantages and because of their metabolism they couldn't get drunk like humans could. Unfortunately, that would mean drinking so much it would destroy their liver. It made drinking to forget a problem and Grayson, who only had one beer a week, was finding that out now.
"I should. My mate doesn't want me." He lowered his arm and gave Mary Ellen a desperate look. "I'm not a liar, Mary. I'm not."
Mary Ellen had never seen him like this before. He had been upset when his other girlfriends had left but he had never got so upset that he went into a deep depression. She sat beside him and pulled him into her arms, resting his head on her shoulder as she rocked him gently.
"I know. And Amanda knows that deep down. But she has been through a lot with her last relationship and she's still hurting. She doesn't like things being kept from her."
"What I did was for a good reason."
"She doesn't see it like that." Mary Ellen cuffed him on the side of the head. "She loves you and you lied to her."
That had the desired effect. Grayson needed something
to get into his thick skull. He sat up and stared at her, hope starting to appear in his eyes.
"She loves me?"
"Of course she does. She wouldn't have reacted the way she did if she didn't." Mary grabbed the side of his neck and gave him a gentle shake. "You need to go out there and get her back."
The hope dwindled and Grayson shook his head.
"I can't." He said dejectedly. "She won't answer my calls or texts. I've given up."
Mary Ellen closed her eyes to keep control. Grayson was as pig-headed as Amanda. They suited each other if that was the only quality needed. But Amanda was depressed and Grayson was lost without his mate. They needed their heads banging together.
She opened her eyes and tapped his cheek hard. Grayson started.
"You're pathetic, do you know that?" Mary Ellen snapped. "You need to get your head out of your ass and buck up." She stood up, needing to get into the fresh air. Grayson's dark mood was sucking her in. "If you don't the best thing that's happened to you is going to disappear before you know it."
She didn't wait for Grayson's response. She left, hoping that the two people she cared about would actually listen to her. If they didn't she wasn't going to waste her time clearing up their mess.
#
Amanda paced nervously in the gym. This felt like a bad idea but she didn't know how to reach out. She couldn't bring herself to pick up the phone and call Grayson or go round to his house; he probably wouldn't answer the phone or would slam the door in her face. At least this way they were on familiar but neutral territory.
She had been a fool. That much was obvious. She hadn't given Grayson a chance to explain things to her; her past had overtaken her rationality and she had run. Grayson hadn't deserved that. He hadn't deserved to be treated the way she had treated him. She needed to make it up to him.
The question was would he forgive her? Or would he tell her to leave? She wouldn't be able to bear it if he turned her away.
The door opened and Grayson came through in a rush. He was carrying his bag and was wearing a button-down shirt and jeans, brown loafers on his feet. He looked gorgeous. Then Amanda saw the pale face, the sunken eyes and the downtrodden expression and her heart clenched. She had done this to him.
Romance: The Bear's Desired Mate: BBW Bear Shifter Romance Standalone ( Shifter Romance, BBW, Werebear) (Spicy Shifters Book 1) Page 6
