by Julia Sykes
But he did know that she was a traitorous, deceptive little liar who was willing to send me to my death in order to get away from me. She hadn’t wanted my touch at all. She’d been manipulating me, buying herself and Daniel more time by distracting me with her pliant mouth and sweet sighs.
My burning rage surged to sear the inside of my chest, leaving ashes on my tongue.
I’d protected her. I’d cared for her, as I’d never cared for anyone. I’d stupidly allowed myself to indulge in the laughable fantasy that there was even a shred of goodness in me and that Marisol had seen it.
The darkness at my core closed tighter around my heart, squeezing out all my delusions and crushing the needling pain that’d momentarily stabbed deep at the realization of her betrayal.
Marisol had deceived me. She’d left me for dead and run from me. She might already be miles away, glorying in her freedom while she imagined my gory death.
My arm swung in a brutal arc, and Arturo’s hot blood splattered over my face as my blade slit his throat. I dropped him, barely noticing that I’d killed him far more quickly and mercifully than I’d intended.
There was only one target for my retribution now: Marisol.
Chapter 6
Marisol
I kept my hand tightly clenched around the cash in my pocket, thumbing the remaining bills as I stared out the bus window. I hadn’t let my fingers slip from the pesos even once since I’d walked out of the pawn shop in Mexico City.
Purchasing a bus ticket to Juárez had been a risky decision. Not only had it taken nearly half the funds I’d procured, but there was CCTV around the bus station. Raúl would easily be able to figure out where I was headed if he really wanted to track me down.
If he’s still alive. The cruel little voice had been tormenting me for the last twenty-four hours, ever since I’d fled from Stefano’s building and out into the unfamiliar city. I’d never been allowed outside the drug lord’s fortress. When I’d been captured alongside Carmen all those weeks ago, we’d been forcibly taken directly to his building from her remote estate on the west coast.
Catching the bus had been the quickest way for me to get out of town. I couldn’t afford to waste time blundering around in an attempt to find a more covert service to help get me to the US border. Not only would I have made myself an obvious target for people who might take advantage of a woman wandering aimlessly around on her own, but staying in Mexico City meant I was within easy reach of Raúl.
I closed my eyes against a fresh wash of pain that had nothing to do with my aching head wound. He’s alive, I assured myself, recalling his ferocious snarl when he’d promised to kill Arturo slowly.
I shuddered and forced my sandpaper eyelids to open in order to clear away the terrifying image. Worry for Raúl and anxiety about my own survival had kept me awake for the entire journey, but it was becoming difficult to stay alert.
I blinked hard and pulled out the energy bar I’d purchased at the same time as my bus ticket. The wrapping was crumpled and warm from long hours in my pocket, and I only had about a quarter of the bar left. I needed to make it last, so I could save as much of my remaining funds as possible. Money was my only hope to guarantee my safety in Juárez. If I wanted to survive, I’d have to pay for my life.
I took two bites of the energy bar before tucking the little that remained back into my pocket. I stared out the window, watching the buildings grow taller as the bus wound its way into the border city. My heart beat faster with each mile, and the end of my journey suddenly seemed to be happening far too soon. The bus had served as a safe little bubble during the day-long ride to Juárez. As soon as I stepped out into yet another unfamiliar city, I’d be facing the unknown again.
I kneaded my forehead with the heel of my palm in a useless attempt to alleviate the ballooning pressure in my skull. I was so tired of fighting for everything: my independence, my freedom, my life.
My struggle for the first two had endangered the people around me as well as incurring devastating personal consequences. I wouldn’t be here now—desperately seeking asylum in the US as my last hope—if I hadn’t been recklessly independent. If I’d just behaved like a respectable girl and obeyed my parents, I wouldn’t have been driven from my home. If I hadn’t fought for my freedom from Stefano Duarte’s cartel, Carmen wouldn’t have been kidnapped by her enemies.
And Raúl’s life never would’ve been at risk because of me.
I blew out a long sigh, and for a single, weary moment, all the fight drained out of me. My shoulders slumped, and the sickening pressure in my head expanded.
The bus rolled to a stop, and a soft hiss signaled that the doors were opening. We’d arrived Juárez. The US border was mere miles away. The money in my pocket would buy my passage into the States. I’d come too far and endured too much to give up now.
I shoved my worry over Carmen and Raúl’s fates to the back of my mind, and I swallowed my self-loathing. Showing signs of weakness wasn’t an option. I’d paid for this entire, agonizing journey with my blood and tears. I wouldn’t allow it to end here, not when I was finally so close to a safe haven.
Raúl would’ve kept me safe. He did keep me safe. He protected me from Daniel.
I tipped my head back and sucked in a deep, fortifying breath. It was too late to go back now. I couldn’t undo my betrayal.
Raúl was holding me hostage. Even if he did protect me, he was my captor.
He’s a drug lord, a dangerous man. I had a history of falling for dangerous men, allowing myself to be swept up in the thrill of dark passion. My indulgence had cost me everything, and my loved ones had paid a heavy price, too.
Gehovany never would’ve allowed me to leave him. He would’ve hurt my family even more if they tried to keep me from him. I’d had no choice but to flee from my home, setting out on this dangerous journey that’d almost broken me.
My dark affinity for dangerous men would be my ruin. I wouldn’t make that mistake again, no matter how tempting it was to think of Raúl as my savior rather than my criminal captor.
That thought strengthened the steel in my spine, and I stood straight and steady when I got to my feet. I hadn’t left one controlling, dangerous monster back home just to find solace with another. I’d seen what Raúl was capable of. If I’d stayed with him, he eventually would’ve turned his strength against me. He was far stronger than Gehovany. I’d barely survived my ex’s violent, jealous rages. I wouldn’t survive a beating from Raúl.
Keeping one hand deep in my pocket to protect my money, I lifted the other to brush over my hair, checking to make sure it was still covering the bloodstain on my collar. As the blood dried, the fabric had become stiff and itchy, enflaming the sensitive skin on my neck. I’d accidentally tugged on it several times during the bus journey, when exhaustion and discomfort sapped my mind heavily enough to smother reason.
I glanced around at my fellow passengers as much as I was able in the cramped space. No one seemed to be paying me special attention as I filed off the bus along with the others, but every inch of my skin prickled with awareness.
No one’s watching me. I tried to reassure myself. I’m just tired. My skin always itched when I was tired. It was a maddening sensation on sleepless nights, but in situations like this—when exhaustion bore down on me like a leaden weight on my shoulders—it messed with my innate, animal ability to sense danger.
My fingers tightened around the cash in my pocket, and I exited the bus, stepping out into unfamiliar territory with my wits frazzled from sleep deprivation. I’d cycled through enough adrenaline dumps in the last thirty-six hours to knock me out for half a day, but I hadn’t so much as dozed off.
Someone bumped into my back, and I lurched forward. Now that I was up and moving, I felt almost drunk. Reasoning through my next action took far too long, and another person exiting the bus shoved me out of the way, harder this time. Coherent thought felt like struggling through quicksand. Even my next step forward seemed to take as much effor
t as running in knee-high water.
I trundled along, blindly moving away from the bus to avoid getting shoved again. I had enough sense remaining to know that people would start noticing me if I blocked the path for too long.
I have to find a pawn shop. I reminded myself of the plan I’d formulated during the long bus ride. I wasn’t familiar with Juárez’s neighborhoods, but if I could find a pawn shop in a shadier part of town, that would be a good starting point for locating someone who would be willing to help me cross the border in exchange for the money I had left from selling Raúl’s valuables.
A sudden, visceral flash of his stony face burst across my mind, and my guilt surged through my chest in a toxic wave. I bit down hard on my lower lip to stop it from quivering.
He’s alive. I didn’t kill him. If I kept repeating it in my mind, I might convince myself it was true.
I couldn’t be responsible for someone else’s death, someone who’d shown me nothing but kindness.
Not again. Never again.
Randomly, I turned a corner, forcing myself to keep moving until I stumbled upon a suitable place to resume my journey. After all the torturous months I’d survived since fleeing from my home, I was so close to my goal. So close…
A bulky, hard body shoved me from behind, but this time, the momentum didn’t stop when I edged out of the way. The man pressed his chest against my back, driving me into the brick wall hard enough to crush the air from my chest. His weight kept me pinned, and a meaty hand closed over my mouth before I managed to draw enough air to let out a scream. My eyes rolled, searching my surroundings with a sudden burst of clarity. The fog that’d dampened my senses lifted, throwing the terrifying world back into sharp focus.
My despairing groan was trapped beneath the man’s hand. When I’d mindlessly meandered away from the bus, I’d stumbled down a narrow, dank alley without realizing.
I thrashed, desperate to throw his grubby hand off my face. He clamped down harder, griding my lips against my teeth as his palm shifted slightly to cover my nose as well. I jerked against the wall, scraping my knees on the bricks. His fetid breath was hot on my neck, a mockery of my inability to draw in oxygen.
My hands scrabbled against the rough wall, but I already knew my situation was hopeless. I'd lived through this enough times by now.
His free hand snaked around me, groping low on my belly. My body began to still and surrender; the only way I’d learned to protect myself from the worst of the damage. The sooner he took what he wanted from me, the sooner I could resume my desperate journey.
But his hand wasn’t grasping between my legs. It delved into my pocket, grabbing the cash that was my only lifeline.
Panic knifed through me, and my struggles resumed, far more frantic than before. Losing that money was as good as a death sentence. Or worse. The funds were my only protection, and without that leverage, anyone could pluck me up and use me for their own ends. If this man didn’t kill me, I could end up being the commodity, sold and imprisoned. And my next captor wouldn’t treat me as well as Raúl.
A familiar, feral snarl echoed through the dirty alley. I closed my eyes, certain I was disassociating and entering a fantasy where Raúl saved me again.
The crushing weight at my back lifted suddenly, and the grubby hand was wrenched from my face. I sucked in a gasping breath, my oxygen-starved lungs burning. My head swam from the sudden rush, but I managed to spin around. I’d intended to dash back out onto the street, but the ground tilted, and I had to lean against the wall for support.
I blinked hard, willing the wavering world to solidify around me. Because there was no way the scene before me was real. I was still swimming in my delusion, seeing Raúl’s powerful body swelling to fill the cramped alley. His massive fist slammed into my attacker’s face, and blood sprayed before the man dropped to the rank pavement. He twitched once, then went utterly still.
My savior rounded on me, his luminous green eyes fixing on me. His jaw was tight, the scar on his upper lip drawn deep on a scowl.
Despite my madness, a sob ripped from my chest as relief wracked my body in a brutal spasm. Everything was too much. Too much terror, too much guilt, too much pain.
My exhaustion rushed back in, and my knees buckled.
Suddenly, Raúl’s arms were around me, his harshly beautiful face filling my vision. His dark brows were drawn together, but his eyes seemed to glow with concern rather than fury. His mouth had softened, and I watched the thin, pale indentation of his scar as his lips moved.
A high ringing in my ears blocked out all other sound, and the world turned soft and surreal. I watched with detached interest as Raúl lifted his hand to my cheek, caressing me with tender care. My eyes stung, and something warm and wet spilled down my cheeks.
His lips twisted in a small frown, and his hand dropped from my face. Grief flooded my chest at the loss of his heat, but a strong arm remained braced around my waist, holding me upright against his muscular frame. I leaned into his strength and breathed him in.
His earthy scent suffused my senses, tugging at my mind. This was too real. His body was too solid against me.
His arm tightened around my waist, restraining rather than supporting. His free hand lifted something to his mouth: a syringe.
My stomach dropped as he uncapped it with his teeth. I’d barely begun to shake my head in horrified denial when he slipped the needle into my neck.
“Raúl…” I whispered his name, pleading for release. For my freedom.
Insidious warmth seeped through my veins, and my muscles grew heavy as I melted into him. He lifted me in his arms as though I weighed nothing. I stared up at him, trying to find his luminous eyes as my head lolled back. He didn’t so much as glance down at me, and his jaw was clenched again. But his careful hold shifted around my body, ensuring my head was cradled in a more comfortable position.
His calming scent followed me down into darkness, tempting me with a sense of safety. Just before I slipped into nothingness, I completely forgot that I wasn’t safe in this monster’s arms, no matter how gently they were holding me.
Chapter 7
Marisol
My head was full of cotton wool, and my mouth was uncomfortably dry. I swallowed and rolled to a more comfortable position on my side, curling up under the covers in my usual sleeping position. When my weight shifted, a dull ache pushed into my skull. I groaned and settled on my other side.
“You need to drink water,” a deep, familiar voice rumbled.
My stomach dropped, and a chill settled over my skin.
Raúl.
My fierce captor had found me. He’d drugged me and carried me away from my chance at freedom.
“I know you’re awake.” He was far too close. His earthy scent surrounded me, and I drew in his essence with each rapid, panicked breath. It filled my lungs, threatening to drown me.
My eyes popped open, and I immediately scrambled away before I could so much as get my bearings. The air rushed from my lungs on a shriek when I fell, but my ass hit the floor after dropping only a few feet.
Raúl’s massive body coalesced above me, looming larger than ever. I stumbled back, somehow getting my legs under me. But the room swirled with each jerky movement, and I swayed with an alarming lack of coordination.
Raúl’s full lips tugged down into a frown, and his big hand extended toward me. I reached back, wildly seeking something I could cling on to until the world stopped spinning. I hit the wall and leaned against it, gasping for breath.
The room settled into place around me, but as soon as I took in my surroundings, my heartrate spiked impossibly higher; a fluttering bird beating its wings against the confines of my ribcage.
I was in a bedroom. Alone with Raúl. It wasn’t hard to understand what that meant.
A heavy weight bore down on my chest, crushing my lungs.
No. The denial was weak even in my own head, because I knew there was no point pretending that he wasn’t capable of this. My fierce p
rotector was just like every other cruel, sadistic man. I’d betrayed him, and he would punish me in the worst way. I was no longer precious to him, no longer worthy of his tender care.
I could see it in the way his deep green eyes glinted like polished jade, utterly devoid of the warm light that had entranced me when he held me in place for our kiss. Whatever tenderness he’d felt for me was gone now, obliterated by my sin.
Even though I understood, seeing him like this shredded me. Knowing what he planned to do—realizing that he actually was the kind of man who could rape me—killed the tiny spark of hope that’d endured in my soul.
“Please,” I begged, even though I knew it was useless. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I thought I was helping Carmen. I didn’t know what Daniel planned. You have to believe—”
“Don’t lie!” The harsh boom of his rebuke shoved me tighter against the wall. “You knew exactly what you were doing. Arturo told me everything before I killed him. You helped Daniel willingly.” His deafening shout dropped to a seething hiss. “I won’t believe any more of your lies. You let me think he was assaulting you when I found you together in that hallway. But you wanted it. You wanted to be in on the coup, because you thought I’d be killed. You thought you’d be rid of me, your cruel captor.” He spat the words from his mouth like they were poison. “You were manipulating him, just like you manipulated me. Tell me, Marisol. Did you soften and sigh for him like you did for me?”
“No!” My protest hitched in my throat.
“Liar,” he bit out. “It was exactly the same. You were exactly the same with Daniel as you were with me.”
He took a predatory step toward me, caging me in with his hands braced against the wall at either side of my head. As he leaned in close, the heat that I’d found so comforting oozed over my skin like a toxic taint.
I went utterly still, except for the tremor in my hands. Horror and revulsion rolled through me in nauseating waves. But despite everything, I was angry. Angry that Raúl was capable of this; that his true nature was just as sick and selfish as all the other men who’d abused me.
