Chaos hoisted me up around his waist, then lowered me to the ground. My body sank into the cool sand as he pressed into me, kissing my neck, my lips, my breasts.
My pulse raced as the pleasure intensified, threatening to send me over the edge. I wanted him more than anything. I had to have him. I fumbled with the top of his jeans, unzipping them and slipping my hand inside. He drew in a sharp breath. His lips caressed my ear. “Are you sure?” he whispered. His breath was hot and unsteady.
I had never been surer about anything ever. “Yes.”
He pulled off his jeans and hovered over me. His gaze, intoxicated, consumed with desire, trailed over every inch of my flesh, as if he were drinking me in like sweet honey wine.
The anticipation was madness. I urged him toward me, guiding his hips down. A moan escaped my lips as he moved inside. His wings unfolded out from his back, spreading out and covering us like a shield. I locked my legs around his waist and he pushed deeper into me, sending ripples of sensation through me like a rushing river.
We rocked back and forth, the pleasure seeming to take over both of us. He pressed his lips to my throat, stifling a moan as he pulsed inside me. A tingling feeling I had never felt before surged up in me, seizing my limbs and taking me by surprise. I twisted and turned underneath him, riding each wave of pleasure as it flooded me.
Chaos squeezed my hips, gritting his teeth as he let out a final moan. His muscles trembled as he buried his head into my neck. Our chests heaved against one another, our hearts racing as we lay there entangled, neither one of us daring to move, or break contact. The wind blew a gentle breeze around us, cooling us with sea spray and tickling our glistening flesh.
He lifted his head, his eyes glassy and full of amazement. “I’ve been wanting to do that since the moment I saw you… Are you okay?” He glanced down at my naked body.
I was more than okay. My thighs still tingled as I felt him tremble slightly inside me. I nodded. “Can we do that again?”
Chaos winked, flashing me a grin. “Anytime you want.”
He pulled me gently to my feet and handed me back the makeshift clothes. While I put back on the tiny bra and matching skirt that barely covered me, I realized how exposed I was. How vulnerable I felt. After giving myself to him, I didn’t want to traipse back into the courtyard half-naked, parading around for the others to see.
As if reading my mind, Chaos tossed me his black t-shirt. I quickly pulled it on, grateful that it fit me like a dress. He grinned, pleased that I was no longer wearing Luminary garb.
We walked hand in hand back toward the temple. I felt different with each step I took. Maybe it was the new magic swirling around in my veins, or this rising feeling in my chest that I had for Chaos. My emotions were starting to bubble up, my thoughts jumbling. Where would this lead? Panic came over me. Chaos would have to go back to Elysium eventually, and I was not allowed there. I froze, unable to move my feet forward.
Chaos’s eyes darkened. “Arya…don’t think about all that now. We’ll figure it out.”
My chest tightened, the fear clawing at the edges of my sanity. “They’re going to take you away from me…”
He spun me around to face him. “I’m not going to let that happen. I promise.”
My heart fluttered as he brushed a strand of blue-tinted hair off my forehead. I wanted to believe him, but something inside me ached. It gnawed at me like a distant dream I couldn’t remember.
Before I could press him, Shade appeared out of the shadows, bringing us back to reality. He curled his lips into a wicked smirk. “Don’t get distracted by trivial things. Stay focused on your purpose.” The weight and harshness of his tone was a reminder of the promise I’d made to him. A vow that would now make me a target of the other covens.
Chaos wrapped a protective arm around my waist. “Be careful what you wish for, Shade. With recognition, comes accountability. You’d be wise to remember that.”
“Oh, is that right? What do you know about accountability? You do whatever you like, whenever you like.” He waived his hand toward me.
Chaos charged forward. “I am a god. I’m not held to the same standards as you.”
Seven dashed in between them. “Let’s all just calm down. We got what we came here for. The ship’s ready. It’s time to go.”
Chaos let me guide him away, but his eyes remained on Shade. “We’ll meet again. That’s a promise I can keep.” He couldn’t hide the thinly veiled threat from the tone of his voice.
Shade smiled, but his eyes were full of contempt.
Seven’s brow furrowed as he looked me up and down, his eyes lingering over my new shirt-dress. “We need to talk later in private,” he whispered.
I opened my mouth to respond, but he was already multiple strides ahead of me. There was an uneasiness in his voice that made my stomach flip-flop. A sickening feeling that something wasn’t right.
After we boarded the ship, I snuck past Chaos and met Seven below deck. He handed me a stack of my regular clothes, shaking his head. “Look, it’s none of my business, but you can’t speak to anyone outside this ship about what has happened between you and Chaos.”
I was taken aback. “Well I’m not going to broadcast it, Seven. What kind of girl do you think I am?”
“You don’t understand. You must never tell anyone that you gave yourself to a god.” He gripped my shoulders.
I swallowed hard. “Seven, this isn’t like my mother and father. I’m not human, I’m a demigod. How can that be wrong? There is something between us. I can’t just ignore that.”
Seven sighed. “Haven’t you noticed that none of the other coven leaders have a mate? They view them as a burden, a distraction from ruling. If you are going to unite the covens, you must get them to trust you.”
My head was spinning and I was suddenly feeling nauseous. “What are you saying exactly?” I hoped he wasn’t getting at what I suspected he was.
Sadness pulled at the corners of his eyes. He fidgeted with the collar of his shirt, avoiding my gaze. “I’m saying you might have to choose. Be with Chaos, or be the Aether. But I don’t think this cruel world will let you have both.”
I had to lock my knees to keep them from shaking. Chaos knew. This whole time, he knew. That’s why he pushed me away before. He knew I’d have to make a choice—follow my heart or lead my people. I was going to be sick. How could I possibly choose?
Fifteen
Sapphire pulled me over to a quiet corner of the ship. “I remember when we were kids, when Poppy used to pick on you, you’d run off and disappear for hours. Jane would tell us to let you be, but one day I followed you to the Brew Market. I watched you skip from booth to booth, shoving beignets in your mouth. You looked so free in those moments. So happy. But you also looked like you belonged there. I realized even back then that you were meant for more than just Sanctum. Your spirit can’t be contained.”
My mind flashed back to those days, memories of my childhood. I took a deep breath. “It was the only place I felt accepted. Why didn’t you ever tell me you were there? I would have loved the company.”
Sapphire shook her head. “I didn’t want to intrude on your moment. It didn’t feel right. After that, I never followed you again. I knew you were safe down there.”
My head was pounding, still reeling over what Seven had told me. “Why are you telling me all of this?”
“Because you need to understand how special you are. I get your attraction to Chaos. He’s handsome and exciting, but Arya, my people are in danger. Your people are in danger. If the covens don’t follow you, Aether or not, we will all be doomed.”
Bile rose in my throat. I wanted to cry, scream, throw something. First Seven, now her. I couldn’t take much more. “So, you expect me to just turn off my feelings for him? To push him away? I can’t do that, Saph. Why can’t I have both?”
“You just can’t,” she snapped. “The gods will not allow it and he knows that. It was cruel of him to even tempt you with it to b
egin with. He doesn’t belong here with us. His home is in Elysium. These are times of war, Arya. We all have to make sacrifices.”
She stomped off, leaving me speechless, my mouth agape. I had never seen her so angry. All our lives she had only complained about the burdens of being the daughter of a great coven leader. But she was becoming more and more like her mother every day.
I squeezed the railing till my knuckles turned white, closing my eyes as the wind danced across my cheeks—damp from tears and sea spray.
“She means well, but I know that doesn’t make it any easier to hear.” Diego placed a warm hand over mine.
I choked back a sob. “I don’t want to choose… I shouldn’t have to.”
“I understand all too well. No one should have to choose between their heart and their people. No matter what choice you make, you lose a part of yourself.” He stared into the water, fixated on the waves, his mind a million miles away. He wasn’t talking about me anymore.
“Diego, is that why you left Italy? Because of that woman you refused to marry? What happened exactly?” I had a sinking feeling that behind his playful exterior, Diego had some dark places within him. Secrets he’d been keeping for centuries.
A wistful smile played at the corners of his mouth even as he blinked back tears. “My father was the alpha. He led the Italian Lupi pack and he was grooming me to take over, which included taking a mate. A wife. They had it arranged since my birth. I discovered at a very young age that I didn’t look at women that way. My mother begged me to fake it. To push my feelings aside and do my duty to the pack. I actually tried for a while…but I couldn’t live with it. It wasn’t right. When I came out to my father, he was so ashamed. He said I had to make a choice—the pack or my truth. So I left.”
My heart broke for him. “I’m so sorry, Diego. When was the last time you saw any of your family?”
“Just a few days ago when Lorenzo cornered us outside the Seraphine cathedral. Before that…many years. Too many to count. I lost track. It doesn’t matter anymore. They made their choice and I made mine. And you, mi amica, will have to make yours. As much as I miss my family, I’ve never regretted staying true to myself. I will never change who I am to please someone else, and you shouldn’t either.” He reached inside his coat and pulled out a copper flask. His hands trembled as he unscrewed the cap. Tipping his head back, he emptied the contents down his throat, wincing as he wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve.
“Oh how the whiskey stings so sweet.” I rested my head on his shoulder, letting his words swirl around in my head and ruminate. We had more in common than I knew. The only difference was, if I chose love, my ancestors might spend an eternity in Purgatory, or worse. Echo could release them into the world to do her bidding. But how could I enjoy winning if Chaos wasn’t there to enjoy the rewards with me?
Seven stood at the stern, quiet, his eyebrows pinched together and arms crossed. I hadn’t spoken to him or Chaos since last night. The tension on the ship was like a thick fog. We couldn’t see through or past it. We were all wrestling with our own demons.
“So, where are we headed next?” The sound of my voice shook him out of whatever daze he was lost in.
“Big Sur, California. To the Dryad headquarters to meet with Basil.”
I nodded, unsure of what else to say. This would be my final element to awaken. Magic of the earth. Once it was complete, I’d have to make my choice. My fate would be sealed and my heart would break either way.
Sapphire stomped up, her feet heavily hitting the deck with each step she took. “Diego and I will be getting off before then. I finally contacted some of my mother’s coven. They are scared and unsure of what to do. I must go to them.” She refused to look at me.
“I’ll drop you off at the next port,” Seven called out as he walked away, leaving us alone to hash out yet another awkward conversation.
I felt like I was losing my best friend. “Will you join back up with us after?”
She bit her lip. “Will you? I know what your heart wants, Arya. If you run off with Chaos, I’ll be busy trying to get my mother out of Purgatory. My family isn’t supposed to be there.” The sharpness of her tone cut through me, hurting me far more than her sword could ever do.
I blinked back tears. “Take care of yourself. I—I hope to see you soon.” I sped off before she could see my cry. Maybe I was a fool to let her leave, but I didn’t know what I could do to convince her to stay. Not right now. Not if she thought the only thing standing in the way of finding her mother was me.
Making my way below deck, I barreled down the stairs and ran smack into Chaos. Our eyes locked and I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
I pounded my fists against his chest, shoving him into the center of the cabin. “You knew! This whole time, you knew what was at stake and you said nothing. You let me think there was hope and now you are down here sulking.”
He grabbed my wrists as I clawed at his chest like a wild animal. “Arya, calm down. I’ve been down here racking my brain trying to figure out what to do… I didn’t know I was going to feel this way about you.”
The air crackled as I flung out my wings, slicing the space between us. “Well, I’ve been up there trying to convince my friends that I can have it all. But who am I kidding? I either curse myself or curse the world. I’ve been told those are my only options.” I was on the verge of hysterics. Magic swirled inside me like a tornado as my emotions peaked to the point of breaking.
Chaos placed a gentle hand on my chest. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have been there for you last night. But I need you to take a deep breath and calm down, or you’re going to set this ship on fire.”
The cabin walls shook with the force of an earthquake, water rose up against the portholes knocking the ship from side to side. I took a deep breath and focused on my pulse, willing it to slow. As the room settled, I open my eyes.
Chaos breathed a sigh of relief. He cupped my face in his hands. “No matter what happens, we are going to be okay. I promise.” He leaned over and placed a soft gentle kiss on my lips.
I pulled his head down harder and kissed him back with an urgency I had never felt before. He let out a low guttural moan and pressed into me, grabbing a fist full of my hair in one hand and pulling my waist to his with the other. I sank my nails into his back, digging them into his flesh as he devoured my neck.
I couldn’t breathe. My pulse raced with each flick of his tongue that trailed down toward my belly. I grabbed the back of his head and urged him to keep going. He grabbed my hips, pulling them toward him as his lips slightly traced the flesh below my belly button. I threw my head back as a whimper escaped my lips.
Heavy boots pummeled down the stairwell. Chaos jumped back, pushing me behind him.
Seven raised an eyebrow at us. “I just came down to tell you that Sapphire and Diego have left. They didn’t want to disturb you.”
“You didn’t seem to have a problem with it,” Chaos muttered under his breath.
My heart sank. “Already? They didn’t even say goodbye…”
“You will see them again. We should be in Big Sur by morning. Be ready.” He shot Chaos a look before sprinting back up the stairs, leaving us alone in the cabin.
Chaos paced back and forth between me and the stairwell. “We need to be careful there. Once your magic is awakened, I’m getting you far away from all of this.”
A knot formed in my stomach. “What about Seven?
“Seven owes me. He will not stand in our way.”
A rush of adrenaline coursed through me. We would be on the run. Everyone would be hunting us. But I didn’t care. I would be the Aether and they would have to accept us. I would make them.
The air was different in Big Sur. It felt sharper, colder. The wind circled us at full speed, carrying with it traces of seashells, kelp, and crisp saltwater. Each grain of sand sparkled as the sun glinted off the shore. The sky was a pale blue, masked by gray rain clouds that threatened to burst o
pen without warning. It felt like the wind could change at any moment, so rough it cut into your bones. This was a wind that seemed to say, go ahead, just try and control me.
Seven pointed toward a spot in the trees. “There. Beyond that clearing is a Shadowline. Basil’s compound is on the other side.”
To those who could not see like us, the clearing would have appeared to go on for miles. An endless stretch of open land. I wondered if humans ever felt a presence when they passed a Shadowline. An energy of some sort, maybe. What a strange existence to go through life only seeing half of it, I thought.
Chaos tensed as we walked toward the opening. His eyes darted in every direction as if he were scanning the perimeter for something. Trying to follow the path of his gaze was making me dizzy. Seven either didn’t notice or wasn’t concerned as he focused his line of sight on the stretch of land ahead, quickening his pace toward the trees.
Leaves crunched under my feet, then burrowed down. The thick soil gave way like sand, soft and spongy. A soft breeze blew past us, carrying the sharp earthen scent of damp wood, pine cones, and freshly cut grass. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up like an antenna, goosebumps covered my flesh, all my senses awakening, prickling at the first sign of magic.
I closed my eyes and listened. A soft rumble stirred below the ground. Whispers traveled through the trees. I could feel the ancestors. My heart thumped, caught in a frenzy of wanderlust and ancient power, desperate to connect my magic to its source.
Seven placed a steady hand on my shoulder. “Arya, center yourself. Take a deep breath. We are almost there.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him shoot Chaos a worried look. They couldn’t feel it. The intoxication. The power. This magic wasn’t meant for them.
I shrugged him off and moved toward an unmarked spot on the ground. Like a dream, it pulled at me, drawing me closer. I sank to my knees and pressed my hands into the cool dirt, letting it fill the spaces between my fingers. A tingle shot up my spine. “It’s here.”
Smoke and Ritual (Beautiful Dark Beasts Book 1) Page 14
