by Nicole Nwosu
“He’s just a friend,” I said. “Nothing more.” She looked at me like she no more believed that than I did.
On Sunday afternoon, Justin, Nonna, and I sat on the porch in thick sweaters playing card games. “Do you have any threes?” Justin asked me.
“We’re not playing that game. No wonder we call you Patrick.”
“I wasn’t listening.” He pointed to his earphones. I yanked them out of his ears and he yelped. “That’s why we call you Sandy, except you’re not a squirrel that loves karate, you’re a violent sister.”
The revving of an engine grew louder as a car entered the small driveway. Two girls got out and walked toward the steps. I took note of how one was definitely older than the other, possibly around my age, and the other was probably Justin’s age. They were clearly sisters, with olive skin, brown hair, and brown eyes. The younger one walked ahead, far friendlier than her sister. The older one carried herself as if she was better than everyone.
I didn’t like her.
“Emma, you’re here!” Nonna exclaimed. “Nice to see you, Alexis. These are my grandchildren, Macy and Justin.”
“What do you think of town?” Emma asked us.
“We haven’t seen much yet,” Justin said.
Nonna clapped her hands. “How about Emma and Alexis show you guys around?”
Emma perked up. “Yeah, we can show you around.”
Alexis’s conceited eyes were on me as she scanned my sweater. “You sure you don’t want to change first?”
She wore a brown leather jacket, combat boots, and leggings. Grabbing my phone and camera bag, which held my camera and wallet, I wasn’t going to let her get to me. “No, I’m good.”
As Alexis walked toward the car, Emma sighed. “Sorry, my sister is just—”
“I know her type, trust me,” I assured her.
In Alexis’s car, Emma told Justin and me about the area, pointing out her favorite stores along the way. There was a tiny mall Emma wanted to show us—the second we got out of the car in the not-so-busy parking lot, Alexis walked off.
“You and your sister don’t get along, huh?”
“We do, she’s just a major drama queen,” Emma explained. “It’s getting worse because this guy has just come back and she wanted to see him, then found out she had to spend the day with me. Since her plans changed, she’s going to be in a bad mood.”
“Let’s eat,” Justin proposed once we got inside. He and Emma talked as I flicked through photos on my phone. Alexis joined us once again, taking the seat across from me. Emma offered to show Justin where the bathrooms were, and the two of them left as I found a picture of Sam I had taken at the quarry. I pulled up another picture I had taken of Cedric after one of the matches I had attended a while ago. He was in his rugby uniform.
“Stalking a boy you’ll never have?” There was a smirk on Alexis’s face. I locked my phone and placed it on the table, glad my brightness was on low.
“It’s my boyfriend.”
“You have a boyfriend?” Now she was getting on my last nerve. “How would you know what it’s like to have someone fall in love with you?”
“Why don’t you focus on the guy you think loves you instead of my business?” I suggested. “I can tell that he probably doesn’t.”
I got my answer from her offended expression. “Yes, he does.”
“Then how come he hasn’t told you that?” I guessed, knowing that I was right.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Her obvious denial fueled me to keep talking. “You have no idea about how he feels about you. We both know that.”
Justin and Emma came back to the table. Justin gave me a look as he took in Alexis’s flustered face. Once we were all done, Emma and Justin didn’t stop talking on the way back.
When we get to the familiar street, over at a house near Nonna’s, someone was getting out of their car. A car I knew. The door of that car opened and Alexis parked next to the sidewalk, jumping out. She ran over and Emma said, “That’s who my sister is desperately in love with.”
Sam.
He closed the car door, pocketing his keys. Alexis caught him off guard, wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight hug. He returned the hug equally eagerly. Then his green eyes locked with mine through the window, and my heart dropped all the way to my stomach.
Even so, Sam didn’t look fazed. He let Alexis go and walked toward me. But I got out of the car and headed straight into Nonna’s house. I didn’t want to see or talk to him. Locking my mom’s bedroom door behind me, I took a deep breath. “What the hell?”
What is he even doing here? How the hell does he know Alexis—no, why is he here?
The realization hit me. Cedric said his grandmother lived in Redmond. Redmond wasn’t as big of a city as Port Meadow, but it was a pretty freaky coincidence that our grandmothers would live on the same street.
This week was meant for me to have space from Port Meadow—from him, especially. I was going to forgive him for what he’d done to Drake, but now was too soon.
A few hours later, there was a knock at my door. “Macy Victoria Marie Anderson”—well at least someone got it right—“you’ve been cooped in that room all day. Get out now.”
My grandmother sounded like she would kick the door down. Not taking any chances, I opened the door. Her eyes softened at my tired appearance. “We’re having dinner with Lucy.”
“Lucy?”
“Lucy’s my friend. She wanted to meet my grandkids.”
“I’ll wear something decent.”
The doorbell rang moments later as I came downstairs. Nonna’s voice yelled from the kitchen, “Justin, can you get that?”
“Macy, can you get that?” Justin shouted.
I opened the door to see a motherly woman who was around the same age as Nonna, but taller. Her face looked familiar. “You must be Macy.”
“You must be Lucy. Nice to meet you.” She entered the house and she and Nonna greeted each other as best friends do. As Nonna was taking her coat, the doorbell rang again.
I opened it to see Sam standing in front of me, wearing his leather jacket unzipped and dark jeans, his necklace tucked under his plaid button-up. His green eyes were wary, as if I was about to attack. What is he doing here?
Sam walked in, closing and locking the door behind him before he took off his leather jacket and hung it on the coatrack. “Sam,” I stammered. “You can’t just . . . why are you . . .”
He ignored me, walking instead into the dining area where my grandmother joyfully greeted him with a hug. “Sam! Looking as handsome as ever. I was just telling your grandma that I couldn’t wait to see you again.”
Again? Sam winked at her. “Look at me? You’re looking as young and fit as ever.”
“Sit, sit, how are your cousins? The family? Your brother, Greg?”
Sam and I sat down, with him across from me as Nonna fetched him a plate. “They’re all fine; Dad and Mum send their love. Mum said this summer when they come to Canada, they’d definitely like to meet you.” They became engaged in a conversation quickly. Too quickly.
I barely talked through dinner, watching Sam interact with my brother and our grandmothers easily. Justin kept giving me confused looks across the table. He was probably wondering if I’d known Sam was coming. I tried to convey that I was as surprised as Justin was.
When we finished, Justin and Sam volunteered to wash the plates and I trudged upstairs to my room. I changed out of my jeans into sweatpants and sat at Mom’s desk, completely perplexed.
Sam let himself in, closing and leaning against the door.
“I thought you’d be in Bali with your family. Why are you here? How are you here?”
“Bali would just mean tension with my uncle,” Sam said. “I decided to spend spring break here with my grandmother inste
ad.”
I sat there, saying nothing.
“I came up here during Christmas break in December with Caleb for a few days,” he continued. “I met your grandmother a few times. She’s really nice.”
That made sense. “And Alexis?”
“Emma and Alexis are old family friends. Every summer, we Cahills come here for at least two weeks to spend time with our grandmother. Emma loved giving her company and they live in the area. We all spent time together growing up.” He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath.
Our grandmothers were friends. Living in Redmond and only a few houses from each other. “How coincidental,” I mumbled.
“You’re mad.”
“At your grandmother for living close by? No.”
Sam huffed. “At me being here and what happened between me and Drake.”
I sat forward. “I was shocked by how violent, especially when—”
“Especially when I knew you were there,” he whispered.
“I understand that you were upset, I just . . .” I trailed off, not knowing how to end that sentence.
“I’m sorry you saw me like that.”
“If Drake wants me to forgive you then fine. I’m doing it for him, not for you.”
The bruises on his knuckles were purple. He sighed heavily, pushing himself off the door. He grabbed my hands, pulling me from my seat to lead me to the bed. When we sat down, he asked, “You were scared, weren’t you? I’m sorry.”
“I know.” Our arms pressed against each other as I continued, “Every time I’ve seen you like that, you’ve had a reason. It’s not like you’re going to end up hurting your family or your friends, but you’ve got to keep yourself in check. And Drake is my friend.”
“I know,” he mumbled. “I just—I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I don’t think you would do that,” I said. “You need to control yourself the way you control a soccer ball.”
“Football.”
“It’s the same thing.” When he shifted to face me, his eyes were twinkling with amusement. A part of me tried to deny that I was happy he was here. The good feeling didn’t fade even when his grandmother called his name from downstairs.
Sam sighed. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
I nodded and he took one look at me before leaving, closing the door on his way out.
“Fuck,” I muttered.
21
Complicated
The doorbell rang the following morning as Justin and I were finishing breakfast. My brother raced to the door and a moment later he and Emma entered the kitchen. “Hi, Macy. I’m guessing you know Sam?”
Before shoving another piece of bacon in my mouth, I said to Emma, “We go to school together back in Port Meadow.”
“Emma, show Justin that game system we have in the basement,” Nonna said.
When they headed downstairs, Nonna sat down opposite me. “Is Sam the ‘friend’ Justin was talking about?”
“Yes.”
“Who gave you that charm bracelet hidden under your sweater?”
“His cousin, Cedric, gave me that.”
She got up and I exhaled at the end of her questioning. “Lucy called me to say you should go over and wait for Sam to come down.”
After closing the front door behind me, I held my camera bag close as I made my way down the street to Sam’s grandmother’s house, lifting the hood of my windbreaker over my head as light rain fell from the sky. I was about to knock on the door when it swung open and Sam appeared. “Did you decide to wear the same color as me or are we becoming one of those couples?”
We were both wearing the same shade of blue. But he shouldn’t have used that word. My face was probably red when Sam said, “How can I help you?”
“Didn’t you say you wanted to hang out today?”
He smirked. “I knew you wouldn’t last a week without me.”
“Please, you’re the one begging for me to talk to you.”
“You’re right, I would beg all day if I had to. Doesn’t mean you wouldn’t either.”
“What are—” I cleared my throat, suddenly shy. “What are we doing today?”
“Sam!” a voice called behind me.
We both looked at Alexis, whose hair was in a high ponytail and who was wearing a light jacket and jeans. Wedges clomping up the steps, she walked up to him, ignoring me completely. “Hey.”
“Hey, Lexi.” Of course there’s a nickname.
“We were going out today, remember?”
Oh. “Oh shit,” Sam mumbled.
“I’ll see you later then,” I said.
“Are you sure?” He didn’t budge until I assured him I was sure.
“I need to get my phone then we can go,” he said to Alexis, turning back inside the house. Alexis smirked, ready to comment, but I was already walking down the steps.
Nonna was sitting on the porch when I returned. “I thought you would be with Samuel.”
“Alexis has him captured in her petty little claws,” I muttered, my hand tightening on my camera bag.
“Let’s have a day to ourselves then.”
I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling it fall near my waist. “Is there a hairdresser around here?”
Nonna and I sat inside a little coffee shop that rainy afternoon. I played around with the straw in my lemonade, which had a slice of lemon perched on the rim of the glass.
My hair was now above the middle of my back, layered, trimmed, and washed. I felt a little exposed from the haircut, but I liked it. “You look like your mother,” said Nonna. “You act like her too.”
“What was she like?” I asked.
“Lauren wasn’t as tall as you are.” Nonna pointed and I chuckled at her teasing. She’d been mentioning my height since we’d gotten here. “She was a soccer fanatic like you, though. She spent one summer attempting to break the world record of kicking a soccer ball without it touching the ground. There’s a name to that, what’s it called?”
“Keep-ups,” I said. “I’m going to assume that she didn’t break the record.”
“No, but she beat her personal best,” Nonna said. “Your grandfather took her to get a new bike because of all the time she spent practicing. She was dedicated to anything she put her mind to. I’m going to assume you’re the same—all your dedication to practicing since your dad mentioned something about a scout?”
“I have a tournament for a few days after the break,” I explained. “They’re coming from a university I applied to.”
“You can be recruited for their team? Scholarship too?”
“That’s what I’m hoping for. I’m kind of nervous about the idea of someone coming to an event for me. It makes the tournament a bigger deal than it originally was.”
“You know your mom played soccer in college, right?”
I nodded.
“When she was in high school, we didn’t know if we had enough money to send her where she wanted to go. She was relying on scholarships. She worked hard but she knew that soccer was where she was going to get most of the money. When she found out that she could be given that opportunity and that the college had an eye on her stats, she was terrified of messing up her chance. She thought she wasn’t going to be good enough.”
“What did she do?”
“She talked to me and your grandfather about it one night. We told her that it didn’t matter how she played as long as she did her best and she loved being out there, on the field. I’m sure you can relate to that.”
I knew exactly how Mom probably felt walking onto a field, determination coursing through her as she was ready to play the game. “I can.”
“Just do your best, Macy,” Nonna advised. “It’ll be enough. I’m sure your mom would’ve said the same thing.”
“Thanks, Nonna.” The pressure on m
y shoulders lessened. “Can I ask you a question? Why did you leave Redmond in the first place? After Mom’s funeral?”
Nonna’s expression saddened. “After Lauren passed not long after your grandfather . . . sometimes home can get too much. All the memories. I went back to Italy for a while. Other places. I always knew I was going to come back. I’m glad, because I get to see you and Justin before you leave for university.”
“I’m glad you came back too,” I confessed.
“There’s a soccer ball in the basement that your mom had,” she said. “You can pump it up. There’s also a few videos at the house of her old games if you want to see.”
“That’d be great.”
My grandmother smiled at my hopeful tone before she took a sip of her tea. “Now tell me what’s going on between you and Sam.”
I swirled the straw before looking up at her. “It’s complicated for me.”
“You two are friends?”
“Good friends.”
“Lucy tells me he hasn’t had many friends growing up. He and Caleb came by during the Christmas break when I was visiting Lucy. Now that is an entertaining young man, with all his theories, but something tells me you and Sam might be more than friends?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
“It’s your decision, Macy,” she said. “To decide whether you want to open your feelings toward him or ignore them until they possibly go away.”
How easy is it to ignore them when he’s closer than I expected him to be?
When we returned home from the coffee shop and the rain stopped, I grabbed the soccer ball in my mom’s room, pumping it up and playing outside on the front lawn. I kept my focus on the ball I was kicking up in the air, doing my best to prevent it from touching the ground.
“You cut it.” Sam stood on the sidewalk, wearing a thick hoodie. I stopped the ball. “Your hair. When? Why?”
“Earlier today. I wanted to.”
Sam sat down on the grass. “It looks nice.”
I continued kicking the ball up. “Isn’t Alexis in your house? Your lover is probably waiting for you.”
Sam looked amused. “Lover?”
