by Allie York
“No wonder Harriet cooks all the time,” I gawked. Beck gestured me up on a cherry red stool, and left me for the fridge, “This kitchen is amazing.”
“It’s pretty great,” Beck pulled out cheeses and meats, laying bread out on two plates, “What kind of salary would it take for you to play for me constantly?” Another wink had me blushing, “I mean it. You are incredibly talented, Doll.”
“How much did you hear?”
“Enough. Mayo or mustard?” Beck dangled both in front of his face and I pointed to the mustard, “I’m glad you came to play, whether I got to hear or not, it looked therapeutic for you.” He built the meat up in neat piles on the bread, “Lettuce?”
“Please. Tomatoes too!” I felt my face turn red. My appetite was a little out of control. With two plates in hand, Beck joined me at the kitchen island and sat next to me. Really, really close.
I spun on my seat to face him, “It is. I haven’t played in so long,” I took a bite and Beck wiped a stray drop of mustard from my lip, “Thanks.” A look flashed across his face and we just stared. I’d seen Beck, but not up close, not like this, not alone. His nose had been broken by the looks of the bend in it and he had a little scar under his eye. His face was clean shaven, showing off the dimple in his chin and angular jaw. When I met his eyes, Beck was staring as hard as I was, and some force had us both leaning in. He ran his hand up my arm to my shoulder and under my hair at my neck.
My eyes closed when he pulled me so our cheeks touched, “You should eat, Doll.” Then he was gone and my eyes snapped open. I sighed out my frustration and took an angry bite of my sandwich, “Don’t huff at me, Doll. You know this is complicated.”
I took another bite, “Seems pretty simple to me.” I talked around the bite in my mouth.
“How is this simple? I’m a no-good piece of shit, and you’ve been through enough. I’m not the big fucking hero you think I am.” He looked me dead in the eyes when he said it, trying to leave me without an argument, but Beck had no idea who he was dealing with. Being stupid in the past didn’t mean I was inept at all life decisions, and one of those decisions was going to be him. I didn’t really care what my sister or mother had to say. The pull between us was too strong to ignore.
“So, we’re back to telling poor, stupid Meredith what she wants?” I took one more bite of my sandwich, then tossed the rest on the plate, “Thanks for lunch.” I deadpanned, shoving off the stool and leaving Beck sitting with his mouth hanging open. Half of me wanted him to follow me, but the other half wanted my words to keep him in the kitchen. I made it to my bag next to the piano before he caught up to me. He came in shaking his head at me, but I just rolled my eyes.
I started to throw my bag on my shoulder, but the weight was suddenly gone and his arms came around my shoulders, pulling my back to his front. I shuddered when his breath hit my neck, “Then please, Doll, tell me what you want.”
I turned, very slowly, to face him and ran my hands up his chest to his neck. His jaw clenched and his grip on my hips tightened, “I don’t want a big fucking hero, I just want you to kiss me.” The words were barely out of my mouth before he slammed his lips to mine. All the delicate touches and soft words were gone. Beck kissed me hard, bruising my lips, gripping my hips. He tangled his hand in the back of my hair, and I melted into him. His tongue demanded entrance, and my nails dug into the back of his neck. Both of us gasped for breath and my heart rate shot through the ceiling. He backed me to the couch across the room slowly and dropped us back onto it. Beck hovered over me, one hand still on my hip, the other on the couch near my head. The desperation eased, but he never broke our kiss. My head swam and all was lost. I needed more Beck Layton and fast.
The hand on my hip went to my thigh and ran up to the button of my jeans, then he froze. His lips left my mouth and he dropped his forehead to mine. The room was filled with nothing but our heavy breathing, and I watched him clench his jaw. His hand settled on my stomach, right over the barely noticeable bump, and Beck took a deep breath.
“I’m so sorry, Doll.” Before I could even think about a coherent sentence, he was gone. I watched him charge across the room and out the front door, slamming it behind him. I listened for his car to start and heard it peel out of the driveway and down the street, screeching the turn toward Broadway. I rested my hand on my stomach and dropped back into the couch with a groan. After staring blankly at the ceiling for an eternity, I closed my eyes and tried to shake the humiliation from my head. My baby bump was non-existent one day, and then BOOM- my pants didn’t fit. It happened over night. I could still hide it, but there was no doubt about it when you touched it. I was too thin for my stomach to be anything but a baby.
“You okay, dear?” I blinked my eyes open to see Faye standing over me looking very worried.
I pushed up, nodding, “Yeah, I’m fine, just a little tired. I’ll get out of your hair.” Once I was on my feet, she pulled me into a hug, “Thank you for letting me play.” I patted Faye’s back.
“You come back any time and... give him time. Beck has a lot holding him back, and it’s mostly himself, but he’ll figure it all out.” Faye kissed my head and shuffled from the room, leaving me to stew in the embarrassment of her catching us. I gathered my things and started home. I let the dogs in before I left, tossing them both a treat from the jar by the door. I locked the handle behind me. The six blocks home would be a long walk after the rejection I suffered. I understood, of course. A baby was way more baggage than any sane guy would want, so he pushed me away.
BECK
I threw the Chevelle in park and slammed my hands on the wheel repeatedly. I lost it. Completely lost control. For a few seconds… just a few, nothing hurt, my mind stopped, and it was perfect. Meredith and I, that was it, only her. In those few seconds, I lost control, but when my hand brushed the growing curve of her stomach, I snapped out of it. If I didn’t cool my shit I’d hurt her, not just physically. I needed to get tested, I needed to get my shit together before the line got crossed, and it needed to not be Meredith I crossed it with. Maybe I was doing better, but not well enough for what nearly happened. My Doll was too important for me to fuck it up. Last thing I needed was to get ahead of myself with her.
The tap on the window made me jump, and I realized my head was resting on the wheel too. Nick and Briggs waited outside my window, both smiling. I climbed out, slamming the door, then leaned against it to gather myself.
“You good?” Briggs looked afraid of my answer.
“Yeah, not sleeping great.” I started toward the door, but neither of them followed me, “Is something wrong?” I turned back to them.
“You went home?” Briggs gave me a skeptical look.
“Yeah, let the dogs out. Why?” It hit me that I never let them back in.
“Meredith there?” Nick spoke, giving me that smile that said he knew something I didn’t. Asshole always had that look, like he was a step ahead of everyone else.
“Yes, she was. She was playing the piano, I let the dogs out, and we shared a sandwich. Want me to tell you all about the piss I took too?” I stared them both down, daring them to question me further. Slipping into my default mode of asshole usually made my brother back off, but not right then.
“Nope. Just asking. She doing okay?” Nick elbowed Briggs and they finally followed me in. Nosey fuckers.
“Seemed fine. Looks better than when I found her. Plays the piano like a pro. Any more questions, or can I get my fucking day done?” Neither one answered me, but I didn’t really stick around long enough. Instead, I ducked into my cubicle and dropped heavily into my seat. My defensive attitude didn’t make me look guilty at all.
It took a whole hour before I was antsy and tapping my pen enough to irritate myself. I stared at my computer screen until it was blurry and finally caved, snatching up my phone. It rang twice before I got an answer, “The Dog House, this is Jovie, how can I help you?” She sounded pissed.
“Jovie, it’s Beck,” A grumble c
ame through, “I need to get Sadie in for a bath. Got anything tomorrow?” The pen tapping went too far and I threw it across the desk, knocking a post-it off the wall. Not only did I leave Meredith on the couch, I left myself with a lot of pent up tension and a raging hard-on.
“Before work? Cori said you got a dog, I’m a little shocked. You know you have to feed it, right?”
“Before work is perfect. I guess shock is my new middle name, doing it all over the place lately, and yes, she eats. I’ll see ya in the morning. Thanks.” Jovie grumbled again and I hung up, tossing the phone down and putting my head in my hands. I had to fix it. I never should have let it happen, but I did, then I left her lying on the couch in our living room probably thinking I’m the biggest asshole in the world.
Sadie sat in my front seat like she belonged there, head out the window, sniffing the air. She rode with me out to Broadway, and once we got to The Dog House, she whined and thumped her tail against the seat, looking from me to the building, “Yeah, you’re going in there, and you better behave. I’m about to act crazy again, so please be a good dog for them.” Sadie followed me out of the car and up the three wooden steps to the door. The bell above me rang and Meredith looked up from the computer with the phone to her ear. Her green eyes went wide, then she looked pissed.
“Yes, ma’am. Tomorrow at ten. See you then, thank you,” She pressed the button on the phone and typed something in, “Can I help you?” She didn’t look at me, but the red in her face and bite in her tone told me enough.
“Sadie has an appointment, and I need to talk to you,” She shoved a form across the glass counter, still not looking at me, and held the pen out for me. I glanced back at the other two working and decided I didn’t give a fuck what Cori thought. Instead of taking the pen, I took her hand, “I’m sorry, Doll. I just didn’t…”
“I get it, Beck,” She whispered, “I’m pregnant and no guy wants that drama. I understand, but you can’t keep following me around and toying with me if that’s how it is. It’s messing with me and you’ve gotta quit.” Meredith jerked her hand from mine, dropping the pen on the counter, “So, please just stop.”
“It’s not like that.” I had no idea how to plead my case, but I was going to try.
“Oh, really? So yesterday had nothing to do with me being pregnant? Do you know how humiliating that was? You just left, Beck, and your mom was there.” She dragged her bottom lip between her teeth, looking on the edge of tears.
“It has everything to do with you being pregnant, but not for the reason you think. Can I please explain?” At the exact moment her mouth opened to answer me, Cori came around the corner, “So, she really just needs a bath. I like the scraggly look on her, so no need to cut any hair.” I picked up the pen, and started filling out the paper, “Morning, Cori.”
“Morning, Beck.” Cori’s glare told me how happy she was to see me.
I slid the paper back to Meredith, “Can I pick her up after work, or should I get her on my lunch?” I handed the leash to Meredith, and watched her coax Sadie through the gate loving on her and getting licked all over her face.
“Either is fine. Bye, Beck.” Cori snatched the leash and walked my dog to the back room. Her table was positioned at the perfect angle to watch her sister and I talk, but after my stupidity from the day before, I didn’t really care. I was done giving a fuck about what Cori thought.
“Can we talk outside, Doll?” Meredith hesitated, “Please?” She ultimately grabbed the phone and opened the gate to follow me outside. I held the door. She walked out and propped herself on the railing with her arms crossed and stood far away from me. I didn’t have the chance to say a damn thing before Cori threw the curtain open so she could see us. Her glared daggers at me, but I turned my back on our audience.
“Are you going to listen?” I wasn’t going to come out with all the emotional shit if she wasn’t going to hear me. Meredith nodded, “I don’t know how this works. I don’t know if there are precautions I need to take, or if things are different because of you being pregnant,” Meredith opened her mouth, but I shook my head, “I’ve done some sketchy shit, Doll, and I want to make sure things are free and clear before anything happens between us.” I tried to be as vague as possible, but failed miserably.
“You want to get tested and to know if sex is different because I’m pregnant.” Meredith looked completely put out with me, but that summed it up pretty nicely.
“Yes.”
“I’m hormonal and being ridiculous,” She wiped a tear from her face, “I have this weird crush on you because you helped me and I’ve read into things. You can tell me that, you know. You don’t have to sugar coat anything, Beck, I’m a big girl.” Without looking at me, Meredith pushed off the railing and started toward the door.
“Oh, no, Doll,” I blocked her, closing in, making her back into the railing again and locking her in with an arm on either side of her hips, “You want me to come clean? Lay it all out? It’s ugly, but if you want it, I’ll tell you,” I leaned close to her ear and she nodded, “The day I found you, I woke up that morning in a shit motel with two women I didn’t know, high as hell and hungover. Beer bottles were all over, blow was cut on the table, and condom wrappers in the bathroom. It’s how I’ve spent every single weekend since my father died. I can barely remember my last ten years. Meaningless sex, drinking too much, and taking anything handed to me without question. I wanted to do anything to make the pain go away. Before I looked over and saw you, I was ready to jump in front of the next semi hauling ass down Broadway just to make it all stop.”
Meredith uncrossed her arms and touched my face, leaning her forehead to mine, “Oh, Beck.”
“Since I found that puking girl who passed out on my lap, I haven’t touched a drink. I haven’t been with anyone, and I haven’t answered a single call from my dealer, but I don’t know if I can keep that up, Doll. I just don’t know. You need better, but don’t think for a second that I don’t want you. You being pregnant should scare the fuck outta me, but it doesn’t.” I knew Cori was watching, and probably Jovie too, but I didn’t give a shit.
Meredith sucked in a ragged breath, “I have faith in you, Beck, and you know it. I told you at the hospital,” the phone rang and Meredith wiped her face to answer it, but Cori yelled from the window that she got it, “Now what?”
I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her against me, “You tell me. What do you want?”
“I want my sister to stop staring so you can kiss me,” Meredith smiled, and I leaned in to give her what she wanted, not giving a shit that Cori was there. She rested her hands on my chest and kissed me back. The same sweet scent from the day before invaded me… vanilla. It was in her hair, on her skin. She pushed to her toes, getting closer, and let my tongue sweep into her mouth. The possessive beast in me went mad, desperate for her to be closer, and I lost it completely. No more Cori staring, no more need for mind-numbing substances, nothing but Meredith. The ding of the front door snapped us out of it and Meredith slid back down to put some space between us, blushing.
“Y’all done? If you aren’t, this needs to be moved somewhere else. Dry humping on my porch is bad for business,” Jovie spoke from behind me, “I kinda need my employee back, Beck, so go away.”
“I’ll return her in a second, I promise,” Jovie went back in and the bell chimed again, “When I pick Sadie up after work, I’m picking you up too. I heard dinner dates are customary.”
“I really wouldn’t know what’s customary, but if you’re asking me to dinner, then yes.” I pulled her a little closer and she sighed, leaning her head on my shoulder, “I’d forgotten how nice it was to just be hugged. I need to get back to work. My boss is a total hardass.” I leaned into her, rubbing my nose in her hair, inhaling her, “Are you smelling me?”
“Yes, I’ll see you at five, Doll. I’m late so I need to work through lunch,” I opened the door and led her in to face a pissed off Cori. I was lucky the crazy woman hadn’t stabbed me with her lo
ng-ass grooming scissors, but her sister wasn’t waiting to murder me, “Cori!” I waited for her to appear, scissors in hand, and opened the gate for Meredith, “We’re going to dinner tonight, but I’ll get her home before it gets too late, and return her in one piece. If you want to be pissed, yell at me, not her.”
“Okay, see ya later.” Cori shrugged and vanished into the back without throwing the scissors at me. Well, that’s surprising.
“Are we good? I won’t leave if you’re still mad.”
Meredith settled back on her stool, “No, we’re fine. See you later?” She asked like she didn’t believe I would actually show up. I nodded and leaned over the counter to kiss her one more time before I left. Meredith smiled like she was the happiest girl on the planet. I hopped back in the car and backed out, ready to get the work day over with so I could get back to pick up Meredith.
Chapter Seven
Meredith
I knew Jovie and Cori were waiting for me to do something besides stare at the front door so they could bombard me with questions, but I wasn’t ready for them to ruin my happy bubble yet. The sweet kiss before he left had me sighing like the silly over-emotional mess I was, but I really didn’t care. Every time Beck came around, I fell a little harder, no matter how hard I tried to avoid it. The phone rang and I answered it, still hanging on to my happy thoughts through the phone call, and booking the appointment.
I hung up and Cori started, “So, you’re doing this?” I turned on the stool to face my sister’s wrath. She had the scissors in her hand, trimming the legs of the dog on the table while it tried frantically to look in any direction except the one she needed.
“Yeah.” I whispered.
“He was sweet with you out there,” Cori didn’t look at me, just held the dog still and worked, “I want to know what was said, but I won’t ask. It’s not my business.” Cori cursed at the dog and huffed.
