Push & Pull

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Push & Pull Page 18

by Allie York


  Dr. Brabson nodded once and moved on to my blood pressure and measuring. I told him about the incident on my birthday, but he already knew, and recommended a pump after the baby comes. We talked a little about delivery and the second half of pregnancy. He didn’t tell me it was unethical, or say anything else about Beck claiming the baby. Dr. Brabson left us alone to deal with Beck’s shitty attitude.

  We held eye contact for a second before Beck spoke, “That is my son.”

  I slid off the table and into his lap, “I know, but I had to explain to him, Beck. You need to understand, not all of us get a guy like you. I got lucky. Tons of single moms are out there, just like you said, but there are plenty who stayed with abusive partners to not be a single mom. If I were one of those, I would hope a doctor would take notice and give a damn, okay?”

  Beck buried his face in my hair, “No, I got lucky. Can you believe we’re having a boy? Your mother’s intuition was spot on.”

  I nodded against him, “I told you,” I tried to sound confident, but I wasn’t, not at all, “This scares me. What if I can’t do it?”

  I braced for him to get upset, but he kissed my neck instead, “You are going to be such an amazing mother, Doll, and you’re not alone,” Another kiss to my neck, “I know you don’t believe me yet, but I swear, I’m in this with you. Can you not tell how excited I am?” Before I could answer, the door opened and a nurse came in. She handed us the paper for check-out and said she would meet us up front to update the information in the computer. I filled in Beck’s information and he signed it with a smile. I was working really hard on believing him, but felt like I was living in a dream.

  We gave the paper to the receptionist, and left the office with a long string of pictures. Beck nearly ran into the elevator door staring at them, “Look at his face.” I leaned against the wall with him, waiting for the elevator.

  In the back of my mind, I worried that every time I looked at my son, I would be searching for some sign of who donated the other half of his DNA. Even looking at the one 3D image at the bottom of our pictures, I looked over his squished nose and round cheeks, wondering. The elevator opened, Beck pulled me in, and I blinked out of my darkness. I followed Beck silently to the car and he let me in the passenger side, setting the pictures in my lap. He talked, but I didn’t really listen, I just tried to remember every man I ever saw at Zeke’s house. Odds were still in favor of Zeke being the donor, he was the one I was with most frequently, but not knowing would kill me. Neither option on paternity sounded good, and both made me feel sick as hell. Beck rested a hand on my leg and I looked over at the smile on his face, promising me it didn’t matter. If only I were so sure.

  BECK

  Screw only being married a week, I knew exactly what she was thinking, every single bit of it. Another sign that Meredith and I were meant to be. We pulled in at The Dog House to see Cori, but I didn’t let her get out, not yet, “Stop torturing yourself, Doll. It doesn’t matter. He’s yours and mine, no one else matters.” I held her chin in my hand until she nodded.

  “I’m about to sound like a monster right now, but please don’t get upset,” I sighed and she closed her eyes, “What if I know? What if he’s born and I know and I can’t even look at my son?” A tear ran down her cheek into my hand.

  “Meredith, once you see him, it won’t matter,” She opened her mouth, but I kissed her, “He’s ours.” Meredith finally nodded and smiled. I took the string of pictures from her and used my phone to take my own copy of each one to show anyone who would listen.

  “Pick me up in a bit? Or meet me at Mom and Dad’s?” Mere leaned in to rub her nose against my cheek.

  “I’ll pick you up.” I got one more kiss and she hopped out, jogging up the steps to see her sister. I didn’t need to go to work, but felt obligated to show my brother his nephew. Ma and Briggs accepted my new role as Dad better than Meredith did. She was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  I zipped to the other side of Broadway and pulled in just as Nick and Briggs got out of Nick’s blazer from lunch. Briggs strolled up to me, smiling, with his hands shoved in his pockets, “Let’s see.” I nearly threw the phone at him.

  “It’s a boy,” I smiled and my brother hugged me.

  “Holy shit. Everything good?” He swiped through the pictures over and over, smiling like an idiot. Eventually, he would wear Harriet down on kids too.

  “Yeah, it’s all great. She’s gaining weight, the baby is growing. It was incredible, Briggs. I mean, I almost fucking cried.” I admitted.

  “I cried when we saw George, like a little bitch. That nurse thought I was crazy,” Nick chimed in, taking my phone from Briggs, “These are awesome. Meredith okay? Not just physically.” Leave it to Nick to dampen my mood.

  I shrugged, “Seems to be, but I don’t know,” Nick handed me my phone back, “She’s worried she might not be able to love him.” Saying it left a horrible taste in my mouth. Meredith was so loving, so giving, it hurt to think she felt that way.

  “Can’t blame her,” Nick spoke up again, “What happened to her shouldn’t happen to anyone.” I swallowed. It never occurred to me, that as excited as I was, she might not be. Had she known about the rape when she was making a choice about the baby, Meredith wouldn’t have kept him.

  Briggs put a hand on my back and ushered me toward the door, “Talk to her tonight.” He patted my back and left me for his cubicle. I felt sick, but walked to my desk and slumped in the rolling chair. I tried to figure out if I was a jackass for being so excited, for wanting the baby so much. It wasn’t the baby I wanted at first, it was her, but they were a pair, and I accepted it. Accepting it meant stepping up, and it didn’t take long before I was stoked about the baby. I laid my head in my hands and waited for the day to pass, to talk to my wife.

  Meredith hopped in smiling and leaned over to kiss me. I forced a smile, waved at Jovie and pulled back onto Broadway. We made it halfway to her parent’s before she broke the awkward silence, “What’s wrong?” I pulled to the side of the interstate suddenly, making her grab the ‘oh shit’ handle and gasp. The car behind us honked and gave me the middle finger.

  “If you knew about the rape, would we be having Alexander? Are you going to resent him for this?” I gripped the steering wheel, staring at the emblem in the center.

  Her hand brushed my arm from elbow to wrist then squeezed, “I don’t know what I would have done. I’m glad I didn’t know. I wish I still didn’t,” Meredith rubbed her thumb over my wrist bone, “I spent all day asking myself the same thing, trying to figure out how to feel about it all. I can’t resent a baby. He didn’t ask for this, and I can’t keep being upset. I made my choice and I’m glad I did. Alexander brought me home, brought me to you.” I shook my head and started to pull back into traffic, completely unsatisfied with her answer. If I got technical, Mere answered the question, but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear her say.

  “Okay.”

  “I’m not done,” She whispered, “I wasn’t ready for this. For him, for you, but here we are. I love you, Beck, and you and I are going to raise the world’s most amazing little boy. I’ve spent a week convincing myself that you’re going to be okay with this, but I may have forgotten to convince myself.”

  “I don’t want to push you into this, Doll. I want you to want it.” I finally looked at her and saw the most beautiful smile.

  “I do. I promise.” Meredith leaned over and kissed me softly.

  “You need to talk to someone about any of this?” It was a weird question considering her mother was a fucking shrink, and I hated the idea of someone being in my head, but if it helped her, I’d even go with her.

  “I did. You remember Connie? From the bus? I called her today. She’s a therapist who isn’t Mom. I’m going to go see her next week and have lunch. I need to pay her back anyway,” Meredith sat back in her seat and pointed for me to drive. I did, “I’m still worried, but it’s about normal stuff. You’re right. He’s mine and yours and not
hing else matters. Now I’m worried about pushing a human out of my body.” I laughed at the silly smile on her face, took her hand, and drove to our first family dinner at her parent’s.

  The Jeep was already there, so Cori and Griffin were inside. I stopped Meredith before she could get out and gave her one more kiss. She took it a step further and ran her hand down my chest to the band of my pants then over my cock, “Can we please get this done and get home?” Meredith begged so cute.

  “You already reminded me that we had sex this morning.” I pressed her hand into me harder, biting back a groan at the pressure.

  “Yeah, but I’m hormonal and have a lot of proper fuckings to make up for,” she sucked my lower lip into her mouth, “I guess they are waiting for us though, huh?” Meredith rubbed her palm up and down the length of my cock.

  “Doll, you’re gonna be sucking me off in this car if you don’t get out right now.” I growled and she giggled. I got a kiss on my cheek and Meredith got out of the car. I adjusted my dick and glared at her all the way up the stairs.

  Her mother jerked the door open before we could knock, “It’s another girl, isn’t it? Cori won’t tell me a damn thing.” Margo looked between us and Allen appeared at the top of the stairs.

  Meredith nudged me, “It’s a boy.” Margo’s eyes went wide and she squealed, jumping up and down to hug Meredith.

  “Are you holding out on the name too? You girls and your secrets are driving me crazy.”

  “Sorry, the name is still undecided,” Meredith lied, “But I have pictures. You can’t see them unless you let us in the house.” We were dragged up the steps to the kitchen where Allen was waiting with Ari and Cori. Meredith handed them her phone and watched them coo over our son. It went on a while and Margo cried, hugging her daughters.

  Meredith and Cori went out to the screened porch with Allen, and Griffin offered me a beer from the fridge. I shook my head and he tossed me a water bottle, “Got all the paperwork done? Insurance is a damn nightmare.” Griffin leaned next to me, watching Cori and Meredith swing the girls in the backyard.

  “Yeah, took care of it Monday, while Meredith changed her name.” Griffin warned me I would be on the phone for a year, and he was right. The woman asked me a million questions and we had to sign papers and send them back, prove we got married, and that she was pregnant.

  “We were married before she got pregnant, but I had to add Axel too, and that was a lot of headache and cursing. They act like it’s an act of god to put shit in the computer.” Griffin rubbed his beard.

  “It wasn’t fun, but we got it done. Baby’ll be covered once he’s born, so I think we’re good,” I finished the water bottle and tossed it in the recycling bin next to the trash can. Margo checked the food in the oven and clicked her tongue, shaking her head, “Something wrong?” I knew she wasn’t thrilled with the way we did things, but for her to still be bitching was a little much.

  “I’m just trying to understand you. The baby isn’t yours.” I straightened up and so did Griffin. Griff and I fought the day we met when we were eight years old, and plenty of times since, but the man defended my relationship with Meredith at every turn.

  “Yes, he is,” I clenched my fist and released it, “I get it, Margo, I do. You can’t figure out why I would do this,” She gestured for me to go on, “I love Meredith. Obviously, I married her. I’m going to explain it to you like I did her. I grew up with a father who wasn’t worth a shit, so I know what it’s like. If I wanted her, I had to accept the baby, but why just accept him? He’s living in my home, being carried by my wife, and will have my last name, just accepting him isn’t good enough for me. He is mine.”

  “And what happens to my daughter and grandson when you’re done playing house?” Margo’s hands went to her hips.

  “I’m thirty-two, don’t you think that’s a little old for games? There is no done, here. This is my life, our lives,” I looked over at Griffin, “Did you get this much shit?”

  “No, I didn’t.” Griff snapped.

  “An addict is an addict, Mr. Layton.” Margo turned her back to me.

  “I am not a fucking addict,” I growled, “I am not the one who took her away and kept her from you,” I heard the door, but didn’t check to see who came in, “You are gonna have to accept this, or you’re gonna push her away.” I turned to leave only to see Meredith standing in the doorway.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Fine, Doll,” I made my way to her and rubbed her belly, kissing her head, “I’m gonna get some air.” I closed the door softly behind me, wanting to slam it, and jogged down the steps to the yard where Cori and Arianna were pushing the girls on the swings. I took over pushing Celia and she squealed when I pushed her higher than Cori could.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Meredith

  We drove home in silence. Beck gripped the steering wheel, jaw ticking, and I curled against the far door. I knew he wasn’t mad at me, but the whole situation sucked and I felt responsible for it. The car finally pulled into the driveway and he climbed out without a word. Beck didn’t speak at all during dinner other than to nod when someone talked to him, but I couldn’t really blame him. My mom just kept pushing and pushing until she made people crazy. Oh the irony in that one.

  Beck was waiting for me to get out of the car and when I did, he got that look and backed me into the door, “I was a dick. I’m sorry, Doll.” He pressed against me, grinding into my hip and kissed down my neck.

  “You gonna make it up to me?” I ran my hands up his chest and around his neck, “We only have a few more months of peace to make up for lost time,” I licked up his neck to the stubble on his cheek, “I wanna make the most of the time we have.”

  Beck growled and bit my ear, “That’s the part I’m not thrilled about. Working around his schedule to fuck my wife will be rough. I like having you when I want you, but I have a feeling the little guy will be worth it.” He kissed me again, nipping at my lower lip. His dick digging into my hip and the dirty words made my panties pretty useless. Beck was going to make one hell of a DILF.

  “I’m sure we’ll manage. We can get creative, or more creative,” My words came out breathless when he tugged my hair, “Unless you want the neighborhood to know your name, we need to take this inside.” Beck chuckled and untangled his fingers from my hair.

  “You sure? Everyone else is home. You gotta keep it down,” I reached for his cock and he backed out of my reach, “Come on, Doll.” I chased after him to the walkway, grabbing him around the waist to grope him, and he chuckled. Hopefully my sex drive stayed once the baby came because I loved getting my man naked. I dug the keys from his front pocket, making a point to run my finger up the length of his cock, and he groaned.

  A car door behind us made Beck look over his shoulder and the look on his face made me turn too. I got shoved behind him as Dennis charged toward us in the streetlight. His face was red, eyes bloodshot, and fists clenched at his side, “You fucked my wife?” Beck took a step back, taking me with him, “You fuck my wife, Layton?” Dennis screamed. I scrambled to dig my phone out of my pocket, shaking uncontrollably. What the hell is happening?

  “Get in the house, Doll,” Beck pushed me toward the door, thrusting the keys at me while Dennis kept screaming, “Now Meredith!” Dennis made it to the walk and I dropped the keys, trying to call 911 with one hand and get the keys in the lock with the other, “Meredith!” Beck yelled at me over Dennis ranting and I flipped through the keys again. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking enough to see the key I needed. My heart lodged in my throat when I heard the slide of metal on metal and I froze.

  “I wouldn’t move if I were you, Doll,” Dennis stopped screaming long enough to speak to me very calmly, “You open that door and I’ll fucking kill him.”

  “Get in the fucking house, Meredith, don’t turn around, just walk in the house.” Beck’s tone bordered on panicked. I watched my hands shake, keys gripped with white knuckles. I hit dial on my phone with the other ha
nd, making sure my body kept it out of Dennis’ sight.

  “You go in and I’ll blow his fucking brains all over this pretty door,” Dennis growled. I didn’t move, “Now, did you fuck my wife? If you lie, I’ll know,” I closed my eyes, barely able to hear the operator trying to talk to me, “Did you touch my fucking wife?” Dennis screeched.

  “I don’t know,” Beck said it quietly, “You need to let Meredith go in, Dennis. This is between us and she doesn’t need to see it,” Beck paused, “Go on in, Doll. It’s fine,” I didn’t move, I couldn’t. The hand holding my phone went to my stomach, “Think about Alex and go inside.” I was thinking about Alexander and how I couldn’t have him alone.

  “I need you,” I whispered, “Dennis, please, I need him.” The tears started and the keys shook in my hand.

  “I will fucking kill you, Layton!” Dennis screamed.

  “Go in the fucking house, Meredith!” Beck yelled at me, but I couldn’t move, “You get yourself and our baby in the fucking house now!” I reached for the handle and sirens echoed in the distance.

  “Don’t fucking move, Meredith! You fucked Cynthia, didn’t you? Beck Layton fucks who he wants, does what he wants, takes what he wants. World class asshole can get away with fucking murder, but not this time,” Dennis kept talking, varying between screaming and whispering. I snuck a glance over my shoulder to see Beck with his hands in the air and Dennis aiming a gun at his head, “You think you can just fuck my wife and move on to happily ever after? I’ll fucking kill you!” He shoved the gun at Beck hard enough to make his head move backward. Sirens got closer, Dennis kept yelling, Beck screamed for me to go in the house. My head started swimming. As the first police car pulled up to the curb, the front door opened and I got jerked inside. The screaming outside got louder, I dropped the keys and the phone, lunging against my captor for the door. Dennis would kill him.

 

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