by Daria Defore
"Well, there's your problem."
"I know, right?" Danny managed a laugh, because Jiyoon wasn't looking at him like he was crazy. "But it's taking everything I've got to stay on top of this class, you know? Or on the fucking bottom of it, I guess."
"Danny, you're not failing."
"But I just did."
"I won't say this isn't a risk. You're going to need to work very hard to stay in the clear. But you're not failing yet. I would tell you if you were. You certainly not in the top ten…" Jiyoon's mouth quirked in a wry smile. "And Professor Weaver has never been fond of students who aren't. But you're not going to fail."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously." Jiyoon nibbled on his lower lip for a moment, frowning. "All right, here's my suggestion. Please don't worry about scheduling anything with me. If you need study help, I'm happy to lend a hand, but we'll just keep it to that until things calm down."
"What? No, that's not what I said—that's not what I want at all." Danny's heart rate started climbing again. "I'm miserable now. I don't want to be fucking miserable if I can't see you."
"I'm trying to help you prioritize."
"But that's not fair—"
Suddenly, Jiyoon's entire demeanor changed, and his smile turned full and genuine. "Danny. I'm not suggesting this to punish you. And it's not meant to be a permanent suggestion either." He took Danny by the arm and shook him gently. "The quarter is almost over. We've passed the halfway point now. I'm still going to be around when it ends."
"Yeah… but…"
"Prioritize. School is more important."
"No, it's not," Danny grumbled.
Jiyoon ignored him. "Take some time. Ask me for help if you need it. And in just a few weeks, we'll both be on vacation. And we can do anything you want."
"I can't—" Danny's cleared his throat, trying to keep some composure. "You know, I can't ask you to cheat for me again. I don't want that. I don't want to be the asshole that makes you risk your damn job."
Jiyoon was frowning again, concern lining his features. "Is that still bothering you?"
"Of course it bothers me! You keep—" he forced his voice lower. "You keep helping me when you're not supposed to."
"Danny…" Jiyoon sighed and hung his head. "That's something that stresses you out?"
"I guess."
"I promise you, I won't do anything as drastic as letting you turn an assignment in late again. I just—I just hate seeing you struggle with this when I know it's in my power to help you."
"I don't want to take advantage of you."
"You aren't." Jiyoon reached for Danny's arm. "It won't happen again. I promise." He squeezed his arm and took a step back. "But consider my study help as an extension of my office hours. All right?"
"Okay. I can do that."
Jiyoon tilted his head and smiled at him. "Four more weeks."
"Four more weeks." It didn't feel that long when Jiyoon said it. In fact, it felt like Danny could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Chapter Thirteen
First, they had to get through the gauntlet of the concert. And before Danny could even really process for himself what the concert would be like, he had to describe it to the eagerly nodding radio host of the radio station that was sponsoring the whole thing.
"It'll be our first time in front a crowd that big, but you know, that many more people means a lot more energy, so I know, uh… we're real psyched."
"No stage fright?" The host gave an exaggerated douchey laugh.
"We've been around long enough," Lei shot back. "I think we've got a handle on it."
Fortunately, the host laughed. At the commercial break a production assistant quickly ushered them out of the booth and back to the station lobby.
"I'm sorry," Lei muttered at Danny’s shoulder. "I don't know where that came from."
"I think they liked it." Sam dragged her hands through her hair. Though flawlessly put together as usual, her expression indicated she had just run a marathon. Performing in front of crowds, they were used to. The PR machine, not so much.
There was a car from Doubletime Records waiting downstairs, which was a really nice touch. It was saving their ass in terms of transportation time, since getting back to their place and then down to the venue would have taken hours on the bus.
Plus none of them could have driven, because as soon as the broadcast had ended, their phones had been ringing out of their pockets with calls from their parents.
"You sounded smart," Danny's mom was telling him. "It sounds like you understand what you're doing."
"I do?"
"Danny…"
"I mean, I know what I'm doing, Mom. Definitely." He rolled his eyes and glanced at Sam, who was pressed up against the car window with the phone against her ear. She looked like a spooked cat.
"Okay, Mom, we just pulled up. I've gotta go get ready for the thing."
"Good luck. And your dad says good luck again, too. Or break a leg. He's telling me that's what I'm supposed to say."
"Both are good." Danny laughed. "Bye. I'll call you later." His phone rang again as soon as he walked through the door of the apartment. Jiyoon's name showed on the display. "Are you psychic?" Danny asked when he picked up. "I just got home."
"Nice. What are you wearing?"
Danny's mind went blank. "Uh. Right now?"
"No." Jiyoon gave an exasperated sigh. "Tonight. What exactly does someone wear to a record label party?" Danny could hear shifting fabric on the other end, like Jiyoon was going through his closet.
"Uh, dumb question. How much leather do you have?"
Jiyoon hummed softly. "None that would be appropriate to wear out of the house." When Danny sputtered, Jiyoon laughed and added, "I'm joking."
"I know that." Danny patted his warm cheeks and checked to make sure that Sam wasn't watching.
"Back to the matter at hand."
"Right. I mean, I don't think anyone really cares what you're wearing. Go cool and casual or something."
"Danny. I have no idea what that means."
"Leave the sweater vests at home."
"I don't have that many sweater vests!"
"You totally do, dude."
"I do not," Jiyoon muttered. There was a wave of static, and then Jiyoon was huffing into the mouthpiece again. "All right, I dug out my T-shirts."
"Why were they buried?"
"Never you mind. What color?"
"Just wear black. Easy. And jeans if you have them."
"I have jeans," Jiyoon sniped. "I've worn them in front of you."
"Tight jeans? Tight jeans are cool."
Sam raised her head and narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Danny, who fled to the kitchen. "I'm being judged, Jiyoon. Sam is judging me."
A pillow flew through the open doorway, and Danny narrowly dodged it.
"Why is Sam listening to our conversation?" Jiyoon asked.
"Small apartment."
"Maybe you should come over."
Danny groaned. "Can't. We've got to get there early for the sound check."
"Hmm, all right. Then you're not allowed to laugh at whatever I end up wearing."
"I won't, I promise." Danny crossed his fingers. Then Jiyoon wanted to reconfirm the time and place, as if he didn't have it all written down already. When Danny finally hung up and re-emerged from the kitchen, Sam gave him a pointed look.
"I hope you're focused on the show."
"I am. Sam, I've been looking forward to this for weeks."
The concert was being held at a concert hall downtown. There was general admission and regular seating, and a VIP lounge that overlooked the stage on the upper levels. It also happened to have its own bar. That was where the artists would mingle with guests invited by the label and the radio station that was sponsoring the event.
After the sound check, The Trouble lingered in the lounge. Danny was pretty sure they were all pretending to be less nervous than they were; this was by far their biggest audience yet, and t
hey were one of the three opening acts. He was pretty sure Erika had pulled some major strings to get them here in the first place, and he didn't want to let her down.
With that in mind, he pounded back a bottle of water and stared longingly at the liquor shelves behind the bar.
The door to the lounge opened, and another string of guests filtered in. Danny caught sight of Jiyoon among them and jumped up, waving. The outfit was nothing to laugh about. Jiyoon had pulled together a decently tight pair of jeans and a definitely tight printed T-shirt under a casual blazer. Jiyoon's eyebrows rose as soon as he saw Danny standing there.
"You actually wore leather pants. I thought you were joking."
"I perform in them," Danny protested. "I was joking about you having any. Also, only you would wear a blazer to a rock concert."
"You promised not to laugh." Jiyoon looped his arm through Danny's and pulled him over to the edge of the balcony, where they had a bird's eye view of the stage. "When do you go on?"
"Probably around 4:30."
"And then you get to watch the rest of the show, correct?"
"Yeah, I'll come back here and find you."
Jiyoon brightened. "I'll save a drink for you."
"Save one? What are you doing with the rest?"
Soon the stage manager came by to herd all the artists backstage. The Trouble was second in the lineup, which Sam thought was best.
"It means we're not completely responsible for warming them up, but they're not tired of seeing the opening acts yet," she was telling Victor this time. Danny and Lei had already listened to and validated her theory. Sam was not doing great at the "pretending not to be nervous" thing.
Victor, meanwhile, was bobbing his head intensely and saying "yeah" after everything Sam said. Danny had just cracked open another water bottle when a wave of cheering from the audience told them that the first band had taken the stage.
"All right, guys, round up."
Victor, Sam, and Lei all circled around him. Sam looked frosty and distant, Victor was practically vibrating with barely contained enthusiasm, and Lei looked back at Danny intently, waiting for him to speak.
"So I guess I'm probably supposed to say something super inspiring, right?"
"That'd be cool, yeah," Lei said.
"Okay. So you all are… honestly, I don't think I'd be here with anyone else. I know we all kinda met by chance. And I know shit has been really rough this month. But hey, we're here. And if we can get through this, and kick ass, who knows where we'll be next month. I'm really proud to go out there and tear the house down with you."
"Hell yeah." Vick reached out to fist bump him and then dragged them all into a hug.
After they broke apart, Lei hung behind while Sam and Vick took their places. His arms were crossed and one foot tapped at the floorboards anxiously.
"So…"
"Yeah."
"I feel like shit. I'm sorry." Lei let out a huge breath, while Danny tried to figure out if that was an "I'm quitting the band" sorry, or an "I'm a dick" sorry. "I want us to do this. I want, you know… everything. I love playing music."
It was Danny's turn to sigh in relief. "Yeah, I get it."
"And I didn't mean that you were bad at school."
"You're not wrong." Danny tried to laugh. "Look, I know I'm a fucking mess. I'm sorry I snapped at you. But I really want you to stick it out with us. We're going places."
"I will." Lei’s face was looking a little scrunchy, so Danny pulled him in for a quick hug and then shoved him away. "Go get ready. We're killing it this time, remember?"
The first set blinked past, with The Trouble waiting nervous and quiet in the wings. The minutes the stagehands spent breaking down and setting up the instruments seemed to take a year, and by the time they took the stage, Danny felt like he was having an out-of-body experience.
A roar went up from the crowd, and he raised a hand in recognition.
"Hey, guys. We're The Trouble, and we're from right here in Seattle." Another roar. "I hope you like our shit. Let's hear it."
They ripped into the first song, a fast-paced number that had Danny joining Lei on guitar. Their set was seven songs long—the perfect amount of time to make an impression, and maybe some new die-hard fans if they did it right.
Danny wanted the audience to remember this, wanted to imprint his voice and his music in their minds. By the end of their lineup, they had graduated to songs where Lei was the sole guitarist and Danny worked the crowd and everyone's mics—one minute he was in Lei's face, and the next he was on his knees at the edge of the stage and the closest audience members were reaching out to grab his extended hand, his thighs. He laughed, breathless, and resisted the urge to pull a Bono and disappear into the crowd.
By the time the set ended, he was completely high on the screams from the audience. He doused himself with half a bottle of water and sucked down the rest as Vick clung to his side, talking loudly and giddily. They must have followed an assistant back to the lounge; Danny couldn't remember getting there, but suddenly Jiyoon was throwing his arms around his neck.
Danny splashed him with water and muttered an apology into the crook of his shoulder. They pulled apart and Danny pressed their foreheads together, smiling so hard he thought his face would break. Jiyoon was smiling too, bright-eyed and flushed. His hands cupped Danny's cheeks and then slid down his neck, coming away damp. Danny broke away, shaking his head and creating a spray of water.
"Sorry I'm a mess."
"You were amazing," Jiyoon said. Down below, the next group started playing and the lights came down in the lounge. It was suddenly a lot harder to hear. Jiyoon gravitated closer and put a hand on his elbow. "Why don't you wash up, and I'll get you a drink?"
"Sounds good."
On the way to the single-stall bathroom he ran into Lei. "Holy shit, dude," Lei said, bending down to splash water on his face. "Was that amazing? Or am I hallucinating?"
"I think. Don't quote me on this, but I think we were fucking flawless." Danny dropped his head onto Lei's shoulder and laughed, still lightheaded. "They can't get rid of us now."
"We're in it for life, I guess." Lei was quiet for a moment, then patted Danny on the head and shrugged him off. "Go stick your head under a faucet, dude."
Danny rinsed his face and dragged wet fingers through his hair. He found Jiyoon at the bar, sipping one cocktail and holding another. He saluted Danny with it when he saw him coming. Danny took it, his hot fingers clumsy and sliding against Jiyoon's. He wanted to set the glass down and pull Jiyoon in close, bury his face in his neck again and just hold him. Jiyoon's lips were pursed on the rim of his glass, and his eyes flitted up to meet Danny's own.
"I'm really impressed," he said quite seriously. "You put on a good show."
"I feel like I'm fucking dreaming."
"Maybe you are." Jiyoon set the drink down and smiled, faint lines outlining the corners of his mouth. Danny's eyes lingered on the beauty mark above his top lip, the way his mouth was shiny with alcohol.
"You look good," he said, putting his drink on the counter and leaning on it to steady himself. "I promised not to laugh and all, but you do look really, really good."
"Hmm." Jiyoon pursed his lips again, and Danny's stomach turned. "I wish I could say the same about you. Your hair is a mess." He reached up and tangled a hand in Danny's hair, not gently. Danny let out a surprised and breathless laugh as Jiyoon tugged him closer. The room was spinning again, and he couldn't get the smile off his face.
"Too much headbanging."
"An absolute mess," Jiyoon murmured, and then kissed him. Danny fell into him, eager and open-mouthed, as Jiyoon looped his other hand around Danny's waist, pressing his open palm against Danny's lower back. Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, and Jiyoon was as demanding as he remembered, keeping the kiss deliberately slow and deep, until Danny thought he would pass out. How was he supposed to handle suddenly having this much of him, after months of denial?
His heart w
as pounding in his chest, and he clutched at Jiyoon's T-shirt like he was about to disappear despite the grip they had on each other. He didn't need a single drink to feel like he was out of control, on top of the world. He didn't know how long they kissed before pulling apart enough so that he could rest their foreheads together, close his eyes, and catch his breath.
"I thought you said this was a bad idea." He felt stupid, like he shouldn't be reminding Jiyoon about that conversation or else he'd dissolve into dust under Danny's hands.
Jiyoon just shook his head. "I never said it wasn't. But I'm tired of not getting what I want."
Danny dipped back in for a kiss, softer this time. His lips found that mole on Jiyoon's upper lip and kissed it, then pulled Jiyoon's lips between his own. Jiyoon smiled against his mouth. His fingers found the ends of Danny's hair and twisted.
With a laugh, Danny pulled back again, but not far. "So what you wanted all along was to pull my hair?"
Jiyoon stared at him open-mouth, flushed. "Among other things. I know this is a terrible idea, and I don't want to add more stress—"
"No dude, this is like stress relief. Or it could be. It doesn't have to be complicated, right?" Danny sank against the bar, running a hand through his messy hair.
Jiyoon's gaze tracked his hand. "I don't know, but I… I'm very frustrated with waiting for a good idea to come along."
Danny noted the intense, concentrated look on his face. Frustrated. That was a look he'd seen on Jiyoon before, and not just the night they'd fucked.
"So." He leaned in, summoning a Cheshire Cat grin. "You liked my performance."
"It's been a long time since I've seen you onstage." Jiyoon kept his voice admirably level. "You did remarkably well."
Danny tipped himself against the bar, resting his head on his hand and letting his hair spill out, loose. "Jeez, thanks. Glad I got better, I guess."
"Why are you trying to seduce me?"
"I want us to do something stupid."
"Fortunately for you, I'm in exactly the mood."
Danny nodded and grabbed his hand, pulling him back towards the bathrooms. Most of the guests were crowded around the bar, or at the balcony watching the band perform below.
