His eyes were on me then, glazed.
I let him look, caressing him again as his eyes traveled down me slowly. After another pause, I tugged his shirt up past his shoulders. He let me, still pressing his body against mine, his hand heavy on the bedspread until I raised it to get the last of the shirt off his arm. Sliding my hand between us once more, I began stroking him, watching his face, although I couldn't hold his stare. I didn't know how long to hold him off... whether I could even handle watching him come without doing more. It was almost impossible to pull my own thoughts out of where they wanted to go, to try and view this with any kind of objectivity.
After a few minutes, I pushed at his chest, my hands turning him carefully, so that no part of the bandaged area on his back fell under his weight or mine.
I had my mouth on him before I let myself think about that, either. His disbelief slammed my light when he felt my tongue and breath... then his pain spiked violently, his fingers clenching in my hair when I didn't stop.
I stopped him from coming until his skin burned under my hands, his fingers sweating where they caressed my face. I curled my tongue around the end of him, feeling his pain worsen to the point where he nearly left his body. He groaned louder when he came back, right before he let out a long, drawn-out cry.
When I didn't stop, his hand fell on my shoulder, gripping tight enough to hurt.
A few seconds later, he cried out again. It went through me, even before another flood of his pain washed over my light.
"Allie... stop. Stop..."
I did as he said, looking up. He stared back at me, his eyes opaque. I saw pain in his face, but more than that, a kind of lost look, like he didn't know where he was. The pain worsened as I stared, until I could barely breathe.
"You're different..." he said, and that pain reached his voice. "You're different now, Allie. You didn't do it like this before. Your mouth feels different..."
"Revik... don't." I shook my head, feeling my throat close. "Don't. You knew I would be. You knew it wouldn't be the same..."
"It wasn't even that long. You weren't there that long. How could you be doing this like this, unless you were..." He shook his head, his voice suddenly hard. "Did you service every fucking seer there, or what?"
I felt my jaw clench, even as something in my chest tightened. "Stop it," I said. "Right now. Or tell me to stop, one or the other. If you don't like what I'm doing, then..."
"I like it... I like it too much..."
"Then tell me to stop. Or drop it, Revik... I mean it..."
"Fuck." He closed his eyes, his jaw clenched. I felt him thinking about it, imagining me in China, imagining what I'd done. I felt the part of his mind that wanted to go there, that wanted to tease it out, know the details, even as he tried to force it away. I felt possessiveness there, too, more of that jealousy, turning into aggression as his eyes hardened on my face...
"I love you," I told him. "Please... hear me on this. I love you, Revik..."
His fingers clenched in my hair. I felt him trying to come again and stopped him, coiling my light into his until he closed his eyes. I didn't want to end things like this, not with that in his light. I knew I probably should let him, but I just couldn't.
His pain worsened when he realized that I wasn't going to give in, right before he let out a low groan.
"Allie," he said. "Allie... gods. I don't want to hurt you. Please... just..." His voice faded, even as I felt another flush of that pain, along with a denser vulnerability. Again, I felt him trying to let it go, to push it out of his mind. "Damn it, Allie... make me forget. Please..."
I kissed him, leaning on his chest as he kissed me back, until we were both gasping against each other's mouths. My hand still on him, I let him roll over so that he was mostly on top of me again, then we were looking at each other, staring into each other's faces. It occurred to me suddenly why he'd asked to end it like this. He wanted to look at me, like he said... he also wanted to imagine he was coming inside me.
He let out a groan, gripping my wrist.
Feeling him fighting me again, trying to get free, I tightened my hold on his light. Pain eclipsed my vision as it hit me that I was too lost in him already.
I'd gone too far... I was hurting him, more than I needed to. Once I'd admitted that much to myself, I knew I needed to finish this, to at least try and pull us both back.
Gripping his hair, I used my light and my hand more deliberately as he stared into my face. By the time it had built in him again I was losing control, too. I let his light slip from mine enough that he was thrusting his body against my hand, groaning louder as the pain worsened for both of us.
"Let me," he gasped. "Gods, let me this time, Allie... please. Please..."
My pain worsened when he started begging me, to the point where I couldn't look at him. He let everything in him grow soft, completely submissive.
"Please," he murmured. "Please, baby. I'll lose my fucking mind... please..." His light opened more, turning liquid. "Please. Gods... please... please..."
Gasping, I opened my light, relaxing my hold on his.
He came, hard, startling me when his fingers dug violently into my shoulders, holding me down and against him.
His throat emitted a thick cry as he let go, louder than I'd ever heard from him in sex... loud enough that I knew they must have heard it on the other side of that door. His body arched against mine; he sank his weight, using most of his strength until he was groaning, still moving against me as he looked at my face.
I couldn't keep the reaction out of my light and he pressed down harder, leaning into me as his groan deepened, rising from further down in his chest.
By the time he finally passed over that crest, I could only lie there, gripping his arms, watching his face.
His desire worsened after he'd finished, even as his body gradually grew still.
I let go of more of his light and he shifted his weight, moving his body off mine.
His hand slid between my legs and then his fingers were inside me, deep enough that I moaned, caught off guard. I lost it pretty much right there, before I'd given any thought to whether that was such a good idea, either. He stared down at my face as I came, pain in his eyes, his expression close to soft.
After a few minutes, he let his head fall to my shoulder, kissing my throat as my muscles still clutched at his fingers.
"Gods," he murmured. "Gods, wife... I barely touched you..."
His pain sharpened.
I felt him thinking about intercourse again, felt his mind fixating on it, even as his cock hardened against my leg. That jealousy was back, mixed with a longing that I couldn't think past, that turned into a near-demand in his light. I gripped him tighter, fighting to regain control over my light... and his... when he raised his head, his eyes glazed.
He was pulling on me then, slowly and painfully that time, his light half-asking, half-insisting. Returning his stare, I realized again that it probably hadn't made much difference, doing it like this.
Whatever I'd told myself, we'd just made love... or had sex, at least.
That's probably what Balidor had been trying to tell me.
"Are you all right?" I asked lamely, trying to convince myself that this was somehow still salvageable, that I could still pull both of us back. I swallowed as his eyes traveled down me, aware suddenly that I was naked, that both of us were slick with sweat.
I cleared my throat.
"Do you think you could take light now?" I said. "If I asked the others, I mean...?"
His eyes remained hard.
It didn't occur to me until then that his fingers were still inside me, that he was caressing my cheek and lips with the fingers of his other hand.
Without speaking, he angled his hand against me harder, and I let out another moan, arching my back. I was still recovering from that when he moved his body down mine, his other palm pressing down on my shoulder and neck. His mouth was on me before I could make myself care enough to stop him. H
is fingers slid deeper... deep enough that I let out a cry, once again losing control of my light.
When my hand tightened in his hair, trying to pull him off, he caught hold of my wrists, pinning them to the bed by my hips.
Looking up, he met my gaze, his eyes dense.
I looked back at him, swallowing. "Revik... don't."
He put so much light into his tongue that I groaned, opening enough that his fingers dug into my wrists. He coiled into my light aggressively the second I gave him the opening... I found myself barely able to stay present in the room.
When my vision cleared, I could only lie there, gasping as his tongue slid deeper, nearly losing it again until he held me off, gripping parts of my light in a near desperation. He started sending to me in the same instant, letting me know what he wanted, what he intended to do to me, even as he increased the pressure of his mouth.
He was thinking about the handcuffs again, thinking about having his hands free...
"No," I managed. "Revik... don't! I mean it!"
I fought to pry my wrists from his fingers, but couldn't make them budge. I grappled with my light, trying to pull it together enough to get it back in control of his.
He shoved my attempts off, violently that time... I felt his light shift, coiling over both of our heads. That desperation around him worsened, turning into a near fear.
I felt him gauging where I'd held him before, blocking me when I tried to get close to any of the weak spots in his light... defensive to the point where I could have been an enemy infiltrator. When I tried to get past him, he turned his aleimi on me for real, slamming into me, hard, until I backed off... then going so far into my light that my back arched involuntarily. I let out another cry, struggling against his hold...
Somewhere in that, I knew.
I wouldn't stop him. I couldn't even be trusted to try very hard, and he wasn't going to give me the chance.
Which meant I had to do something now.
"Wreg!" I cried out. "Wreg! Please... I need your help..."
Revik raised his head.
His hands tightened on me; his eyes narrowed as he comprehended what I'd said. Before I fully tracked the movement in my peripheral vision, he tensed, connecting my words to something he felt. I saw him turn his head, saw his eyes ignite in pale green rings at the threat of an intruder. Then I saw the muscular figure in the doorway, gun propped against his shoulder.
"Revik!" I gripped his fingers. "Wait! Don't hurt him... it's Wreg!"
Wreg must have been ready, though.
He'd already fired the gun before Revik had finished turning around. Something hit Revik in the back, hard enough to bring a grunt to his lips, knocking him into me from the impact. His fingers tightened on me again, even as his eyes widened in disbelief.
Before I could make a sound, he slumped over me, knocked out cold.
I could only lie there, panting, staring down at him.
When I looked up, Wreg was smiling at me wryly, one eyebrow lifted as he lowered the gun.
"If you wanted me dead, princess," he said, pulling back the bolt of the old-fashioned rifle and sliding another tranquilizer dart into the chamber. "...There are easier ways."
Raising the gun once more, he kept his eyes off our naked bodies, using an indirect stare to hold his aim on Revik's back as he walked towards us cautiously. When Revik didn't move after a few seconds, he chuckled a little, making a vague motion with his free hand.
"I think his light's sufficiently open to yours now, Esteemed Bridge," he said. He lowered the gun so that it pointed at the carpet, glancing at my face.
"You okay?"
I nodded, averting my eyes. "Yeah. Thanks."
"Ping me when you're ready to hold for him," he said. The smile touched his voice again as he looked away. "...If you're done 'easing' things for him, that is..."
Still fighting my mind back onto straight lines, I only nodded, biting back a low surge of embarrassment at his words. Or humiliation, more like it.
I tried like hell not to think about how we must look.
Wreg chuckled again, even as he turned.
Seconds later, the door closed behind him with a soft snick.
I found myself looking down at Revik, feeling another stab of guilt as I plucked the dart out of his back where Wreg pretty much bulls-eyed it into the area behind his heart.
Then I struggled to get out from under him, first rolling him over carefully onto his side and then hefting him up the bed as best I could by his shoulders... which wasn't exactly easy, by the way, considering that all six and a half feet of him was essentially dead weight.
I got him most of the way up to the top of the bed, far enough to pull down the bedspread and a blanket, so I could cover him enough that he wouldn't be cold. Sliding one of the pillows under his head, I used another to prop up his back so he wouldn't roll over onto the shrapnel wound while both of us were asleep.
It wasn't until after I finished with him that I fumbled on the floor for my clothes.
After looking at myself, however, I decided I needed a shower first.
I didn't lay down next to him again until I'd come out of his bathroom a few minutes later, fully dressed, my hair wet again and my body more sore than I remembered it being when I'd lain down to sleep in my own room the first time, a few hours earlier.
Even after I curled up next to him, I kept the bulk of the bedspread between us.
Looking at his face, I fought back another wave of guilt when I saw the tautness of his expression. The tension around his eyes eased somewhat once I was with him again, but he still looked like he was in pain, even knocked out. Given that they'd probably shot him with some kind of horse tranquilizer, that was no mean feat...but they always had to over-trank him, given his extreme tolerance to any kind of sedative.
Resting on my back, I fought to relax. I held his hand tightly in one of mine, making sure my light was still wound into his.
Once I was sure I was ready, I pinged Wreg in the hallway outside, fighting embarrassment again when I felt the humor in the light of the seers standing in a cluster on the other side of the door. I knew somewhere in the construct, Balidor was probably grinding his teeth...assuming he wasn't already cursing me out to whoever would listen.
By then, I was so exhausted, it was difficult to care.
I was barely able to keep myself awake long enough to make sure everything was working right when they first started feeding us light. I managed to keep my eyes open long enough to scan the length of the connection, to ensure the flow was reaching Revik's aleimi through me the way it was supposed to...
And that was pretty much it.
That's the last thing I remember, from that day at least.
7
CONFRONTATION
"SO WHERE ARE they?" Jon said. He tossed his jacket to the couch, entering one of the smaller sections of lounge by a standalone bar on the lobby level. It stood in the inner courtyard of the hotel, with a ceiling that stretched all the way up to a domed skylight, complete with an indoor waterfall by the bank of glass elevators on the other side, and a large pool beneath the fountain filled with trees, flowers, a rock formation, and even cages filled with parrots and smaller songbirds. The atrium stood between the two main wings of the hotel, but managed to be the most peaceful place in the entire building. Jon learned it was the best room to look for Wreg, at least when he wasn't on duty or asleep.
For the first time in almost two days, the tattooed seer was neither.
Seeing Wreg's eye roll at his question, Jon let out a disbelieving sound. "They can't possibly be still asleep. It's been...what? Three days?"
"Why are you here, brother?" Wreg said. Glancing behind Jon as if to determine whether he was alone, he made a dismissive flutter with one hand. "Shouldn't you be off, entertaining your boyfriend somewhere...? Reminding each other why two cocks are better than one?"
"Great." Jon's jaw hardened. "...more gay cracks. That's really original, Wreg. Or is this just yo
ur new, pathetic attempt to get rid of me?"
Wreg stared up at him, his dark eyes narrowing slightly from where he sat on a gold-colored couch, his arm thrown over its back. When Jon didn't back down, he exhaled air between his lips, turning back to look at the lit waterfall.
Jon watched as the seer's dark eyes scaled upwards, taking in the balconies hanging with ivy and flowering plants without seeming to see them. Instead, Jon saw him frown, his blurred irises showing him briefly to be elsewhere. A little startled at the depth of the anger there, Jon hesitated, staring at him in spite of himself.
"What?" he said. "Did I actually hurt your feelings, calling you homophobic? I thought that was de rigueur for you military-types..."
"Nenz went into hibernation," Wreg cut in, shrugging without looking up. "It is unusual, as the wound was not so very dangerous...but it happens."
"And what about her?"
"He took her with him," Wreg said, shrugging again with one hand, then laying it back on the couch cushion. He continued to stare at the waterfall. "Also, not without precedent. Mates often do that kind of thing together..."
Jon nodded, still trying to read the seer's face, and now getting a big, blank wall of nothing. He'd meant the military-types thing as a joke, maybe even to lighten things, but obviously it had fallen flat.
But then, he'd never exactly been good at reading Wreg's moods.
Also, he was struggling a bit with Wreg's calm.
"So," Jon said, biting back the tension in his voice as well as he could. "So...the fact that all of Al's friends and schoolmates from her home town are probably dying in droves behind that quarantine wall...you don't think that warrants waking them up?" Watching Wreg's face, Jon felt his jaw start to clench again. He decided to switch to the duty thing, figuring it probably held a lot more weight than his opinion. "So...you really don't think that might be a problem for her later, that you let her sleep through that? No matter how cuddly she and Revik might be feeling...? Do you think Revik will thank you for that, either?"
Wreg rolled his eyes. "Hibernation isn't a nap, brother," he grunted. "Couldn't wake them, even if I wanted. And frankly, I'm glad both of them are sleeping through this. She would want to go there, and he would insist on going with her –– "
Allie's War Season Three Page 16
