I'm Not in the Band

by Amber Garza

  “You haven’t told me everything.” She crosses her arms over her chest, covering up her flannel pajama shirt. The only thing I didn’t tell her about was my panic attack. How did she find out? “You’re officially friends with Ross Devlin!” she squeals.

  “Huh?” I’ll tell you what’s official—my sister has officially lost her mind.

  “I saw it on Facebook.”

  “You did?”

  “C’mere.” She grabs me by the wrist, but I yank my arm away.

  “I have to get ready for school.”

  “Oh, you have a minute. It’s not like it takes you long to throw on a T-shirt and jeans and pull your hair up into a bun.” It’s like she can read my mind.

  She drags me into her room, and I say, “You know I have a computer in my room.”

  “Yeah, but I already have Facebook up.” She tosses me a knowing look. “Aren’t you the one who said you have to get ready for school?”

  I nod, following her over to her computer.

  And there it is.

  Ross Devlin and Kassidy Milton are now friends.

  Sophie crosses her arms over her chest. “Something you want to tell me?”

  “Nope.”

  Her eyes widen. “Seriously? How did this happen?”

  It seems self-explanatory to me. I shrug. “I guess he finally accepted my friend request.”

  “But why would he accept your friend request? I requested him months ago and he’s never accepted.”

  “You don’t know him,” I blurt out without thinking.

  She freezes. “And you do?”

  I sigh. It’s time to come clean. “I met him at Archer’s once.”

  A look of betrayal crosses her face. “But you’ve only been to Archer’s once.” She pauses. “Wait. You met him that long ago? And you didn’t say anything?”

  “I was sworn to secrecy.”

  “And you couldn’t even tell me.”

  “I especially couldn’t tell you.”

  Her mouth gapes. “But that’s not fair. If I had known he was in town, I could’ve gone over there and met him.”

  “Which is exactly why they didn’t want me to say anything,” I explain.

  Frowning, she blows out a breath. “Tell me all about him.”

  “I have to get ready for school.” Turning away from her, I trudge back to my room.

  But Sophie isn’t one to be deterred. She follows at my heels. “C’mon. You kept it from me all this time. The least you could do is give me some details now.”

  “He was nice.” I step into my room.

  “That’s it? That’s all I get?”

  “He was cooler than I thought he’d be. He liked a lot of the same things as me.” I turn toward her. “Ross is the one who got Archer and I those Rocketlauncher tickets. That’s why I friend requested him. I wanted to say thank you.”

  She narrows her eyes suspiciously. “And you couldn’t have just asked Archer to do that for you?”

  My gut twists. “I wanted to do it myself. Archer gets kinda weird when I talk about his brother.”

  “He’s gonna get really weird when he sees this on Facebook, then.” Sophie throws me a knowing look, and my skin crawls.

  Clearly, I hadn’t thought this through before sending that request.

  …

  “Hey.” Archer is waiting for me in the parking lot when I arrive at school. He shoves off his van and walks in my direction, one hand tucked under the strap of his backpack, the other in the pocket of his jeans. He looks hot.

  “Hey.” I step toward him, legs trembling slightly. The books in my backpack thump along my spine. To the right, a car enters the lot, bass pounding. I can feel eyes on us as we move closer to each other.

  When I reach him, his arms come around me. Tilting his head down, he stamps a kiss on my forehead. It’s a protective gesture, and my heart soars. I could get used to this.

  “Good morning, beautiful.”

  Ahh, I’m seriously melting. Having no idea how to respond, I nervously giggle. He slides his fingers through mine and tugs me forward. Insides flipping, I walk beside him, our arms swinging between us. We’re wearing our matching Converse sneakers, and they thump on the concrete, moving in sync. I’d been so worried on the way here, but Archer must not be bothered by my friendship with his brother.

  Heads whirl in our direction as we enter the hallway.

  “What does he see in her?”

  “Someone moves fast.”

  “It won’t last long.”

  “Yeah, especially now.”

  The accusations and rude remarks swirl, stirring the unrest in my heart.

  “I mean, what does he really know about her?”

  I freeze, my insides twisting. It’s that statement that drives reality home. Kate’s face fills my mind, and the truth slams into me like the sidewalk when you fall off your bike. A truth Archer knows nothing about.

  “Ignore them,” Archer murmurs.

  Ella and her friends come down the hallway. When she spots me, her eyes narrow fiercely, her lips turning downward into a frown. My knees soften. I lean against the wall for support.

  “Did you check Facebook this morning?” One of her friends asks her and they all turn toward me.

  Ella’s glare deepens. “Yep.”

  Blowing out a breath, my gaze slides back to Archer. His expression is wary, cautious. I sigh. “It’s not that big of a deal. Really.”

  “Oh, I think it’s a really big deal.” He moves closer, his hand curving around my waist, his body sliding against mine.

  “You do?” I get the feeling we’re not talking about the same thing.

  “Our first date. Our first dance.” His lips hover mine. “Our first kiss. To me that’s a very big deal.”

  Ah, yes. I prefer this topic of conversation. My lips burn with longing. Closing my eyes, I wait for his mouth to cover mine.

  “Ross Devlin and Kassidy Milton are now friends! What?” Tiffany’s shrill voice rings out in the hallway. My chest tightens as Archer draws back. Tiffany stares down at the phone in her hand, her mouth gaping open. Then she stomps away from us angrily.

  Archer’s brows are furrowed. “What was that about?”

  My stomach sinks. He didn’t know. And now I have to be the one to tell him. “Um…your brother and I sorta became Facebook friends. But like I said, it’s not a big deal.”

  “That’s what you were talking about?” His jaw tightens. “That’s why everyone keeps staring at us? I assumed it was because of the pictures I posted of our date.”

  “That would make a lot more sense,” I mutter under my breath.

  “Not really.” He frowns. “A date with me isn’t really news. Friending a celebrity is.”

  “But isn’t half the school friends with him?”

  “Yeah, but they knew him before he was famous.” He runs a hand through his hair. “And he’s selective with who he’ll friend on social media.”

  The statement feels heavy, weighted, and my knees buckle under it. “Are you…” I work up the courage to finish the question. “Bothered by this?”

  He doesn’t answer right away. I hold my breath.

  Finally, he shrugs. “I just didn’t realize you wanted to be his friend.”

  I exhale. “Of course I do. I want to be friends with everyone who’s important to you.”

  “So this is about me, not him?”

  It feels like a trick question. Biting my lip, I tentatively nod.

  The bell rings, and relief floods me. I’ve never wanted to get away from Archer so badly before. With a quick smile, he presses his lips to my cheek. “See ya in chemistry.”

  “Yeah, see ya.” I watch his retreating back as he heads toward his class, a sense of dread filling my gut.

  …

  “You’ve been a busy girl,” Miranda says after sliding into her desk. Mr. Williams is late, so we have a few minutes to talk. Too bad today I’m in not in the mood for conversation. “First you go on a date with
one brother, then you’re friending the other.”

  “Exactly. Friending, not dating,” I say, punching the word emphatically. “Everyone’s acting like this is a huge thing, but it means nothing.”

  “Anything having to do with Ross Devlin is a big deal at this school.” She rolls her eyes like she thinks it’s ridiculous, but I’m not buying it.

  It was stupid for me to friend Ross. I’m not even sure why I did it. Archer’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m messing everything up. It’s been kind of exciting to be in the spotlight. I’d finally understood what it was like to be Kate. I had always been secretly jealous of the attention she got. But now I don’t want any of it. Not if it costs me Archer. I want to go back to being invisible.

  Blowing out a breath, I shake my head. “I wish everyone would just mind their own business.”

  “I hear ya. This is why I’m against social media. Everyone takes it so seriously.”

  “Good morning, class.” Mr. Williams breezes in, the door slamming behind him, and a hush falls over the room. “I’m sure you all have your notebooks out already.” When he turns his back to us to write on the board, there is a collective round of zippers opening. All of our heads dip down as we yank our notebooks out of our backpacks. “Today I want you to write about the thing you fear most.”

  My stomach drops as if I’m standing on the edge of cliff and I’m afraid of falling over the side. I know what I fear most. I think about it a million times a day. It drives almost every decision I make, and it sends me into a panic at a moment’s notice.

  The scrawling of pens on paper sound throughout the room. All heads are down. No one else seems to be struggling the way I am. No one except for Ella. Her gaze is fixated on me. Unnerved, I lower my eyes to my paper.

  Relief washes over me when class ends. Not that I did much. Mostly I doodled and drew silly pictures. I couldn’t bring myself to actually write anything for my essay. After shoving everything haphazardly into my backpack, I head out into the hallway.

  Archer’s waiting for me like always, leaning against the wall and staring in my direction. Gratitude fills me as my lips curl at the corners. I take a step in his direction. Maybe I misread things. I almost reach him when Ella steps between us. Annoyance flares. I’m tired of her constantly in the way. Why doesn’t she give up already?

  Her high-pitched voice reaches my ears and I wince. Pausing, I wait for Archer to politely end their conversation. It’s what he usually does. He’s too nice to be outright rude, but he always shuts her down quickly.

  Not today.

  Today he stays leaning against the wall, relaxed and happy, while they chat. His eyes are alight, his expression animated. It’s as if he has no other place in the world to be. I tap my foot impatiently, my irritation growing with every second. But he doesn’t even notice me. It’s like he has tunnel vision.

  The bell is about to ring, and it doesn’t appear that Archer is going to wrap things up any time soon. I contemplate waltzing up and whisking him away, but that would make me look petty and desperate.

  Frustrated, I whirl around and stomp down the hallway toward the chemistry classroom. I’m almost there when Archer’s voice rings out behind me.

  “Kassidy! Wait up.”

  I freeze, my shoulders tensing. Part of me wants to ignore him, but I know that’s silly. Besides, we have class together.

  Slowly, I turn.

  “You didn’t wait for me.” He’s wearing that teasing grin of his as he nudges me in the side. Normally I enjoy it, but right now it bothers me.

  “That’s because you were busy talking to Ella,” I snap, unable to mask the distaste I feel when saying her name.

  His eyes widen. “Why do you seem upset? There’s nothing to worry about.” He leans in close, his lips lifting slightly at the corners. “She’s just a friend.” The last word is said with emphasis.

  As he steps around me, my stomach plummets. If only I could go back in time and stop myself from sending that dumb friend request.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Archer

  @therealrossdevlin Glad I’m out on tour. #nodramahere #justthebandandtheopenroad #theplaylisters

  Me: Why are you friending Kassidy?

  Ross: Didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to.

  Me: You know I like her, man.

  Ross: I’m not going after her.

  Me: Then why send her a friend request?

  Ross: I didn’t. She requested me.

  Me: Great. I’m dating another Tiffany.

  Ross: Kassidy’s not like Tiffany.

  Me: Seems like it.

  Ross: She just wanted to thank me for the tickets.

  Me: That’s all?

  Ross: Yeah. She said you two had a good time.

  Me: We did.

  Ross: She really likes you, man. Don’t screw this up.

  Me: Okay.

  …

  Ella: Your brother and Kassidy, huh?

  Me: They’re just friends.

  Ella: If you say so.

  …

  Tiffany: You got mad at me for talking to Ross, but not Kassidy?

  Me: That’s different.

  Tiffany: Is it?

  …

  Kassidy: If you’re bothered by it, I can unfriend Ross.

  Me: No, it’s cool.

  Kassidy: You sure?

  Me: You said it’s no big deal, right?

  Kassidy: Right.

  Me: Then no worries.

  Kassidy: K. You still coming to my track meet?

  Me: Told you I was.

  Kassidy: I know. Just wanted to make sure.

  Me: I’ll be there.

  Kassidy: Thanks. Sophie has to work and my parents have to leave early.

  Me: I’ll stay the entire time.

  Kassidy: You will?

  Me: Depends.

  Kassidy: On what?

  Me: The length of your shorts.

  Kassidy: Shut up.

  Me: I’m kidding…sort of.

  Kassidy: You’re bad.

  Me: Of course I’ll stay.

  Archer Devlin

  Heading out to the Oakhollow High Cross-country Track Meet.

  Kassidy Milton I’m so nervous.

  Archer Devlin Don’t be. You’ll do great.

  Kassidy Milton I hope so.

  Alex Trombone Kassidy, I’ve seen you run. I agree with Archer. You’ll do great.

  Kassidy Milton Aww, thanks Alex.

  …

  Mac: Better watch out. Looks like Alex Trombone is moving in on your girl.

  Me: I’m not worried.

  Mac: Dude has a reputation of being pretty free with his trombone, if you know what I mean.

  Me: It was pretty spelled out, man.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Kassidy

  #14—Compete in Cross-country race

  My legs burn, but it doesn’t slow me down. If anything, it pushes me to run faster. The wind whisks through my hair, and I relish it. Even though it’s pretty cold today, all this running has warmed me up. My body is covered in a sheen of sweat. When I stop running, the dampness of my flesh will make me ice-cold, but right now it’s refreshing.

  Long distance runs are what I’m good at, and I’m making good time. I’ve been keeping a steady pace without getting too winded. The trail winds to the right and I follow it, my feet thumping on the dirt path.

  Voices in the distance get closer, and I pump my legs even faster. I can see the crowd waiting, and right at the front is Archer, holding a sign with my name on it. My heart soars at the sight. His initial irritation at my Facebook friendship with Ross seems to have disappeared, thank goodness. Once I cross the finish line, I hunch over and gulp in the air. My lungs are on fire, but I know it will subside soon.

  Once I’ve caught my breath and had some water, I make my way over to Archer. He immediately wraps his free arm around me. “You were awesome out there!”

  “Thanks.” I wriggle out of his grasp.
“You know I’m all sweaty, right?”

  “I don’t care. It makes you look hot.”

  I giggle.

  “What was your time? Did you win?”

  “I don’t know yet. They’ll give us our time and placements a little later,” I explain. “But I feel good about it.”

  “Great job, princess,” Dad booms once he and Mom reach us.

  “Hashtag winner!” I cringe, and Mom winks. “Seriously, I’m very proud of you.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” I say, grateful for the normalcy.

  “All of those early morning runs paid off,” Dad said.

  “Yeah,” I agree.

  After we chat for a few more minutes, Mom and Dad take off, leaving Archer and me alone. Since I’m done for the day, we take a little walk around the campus to get away from all the crowds. Luckily this meet was at Oakhollow, so we know our way around.

  We hold hands, our arms tethered between us. Shivering, I use my free hand to tug my jacket tighter around my body.

  “Cold?” Archer asks.

  I nod. “This always happens after a run.”

  “Well, we can’t have that.” He releases my fingers so he can sling his arm over my shoulders. When he draws me close, I nestle into his side.

  “That better?”

  “Much,” I murmur.

  “Good. I gotta keep my girl happy.” He flashes me an easy smile.

  I return it, grateful that everything is normal with us again. “Thanks for coming today.”

  “I like watching you run.” He bumps me with his hip. “My sexy track star.”

  Glancing down at my sweaty body, I laugh. “Really? Sexy? I feel gross.”

  “Gross is not a word I would ever use to describe you.” My heart flips in my chest at the compliment. “You were the hottest girl out there.” He stops walking and turns to face me. I freeze, swallowing hard as he reaches out and brushes away a strand of hair from my face. Leaning in close, he covers my mouth with his. Reaching out, my fingertips skim his waistline as the kiss deepens. When my hand curls around his middle, my thumb whisks over his pocket, and it buzzes. I flinch, drawing back. With a giggle, I glance downward.

  His face flushes. “Sorry. It’s probably Mom checking in” Reaching into his pocket, he yanks out his phone and looks down at it. Typing swiftly, he shoots off a couple of texts. Then he freezes, the smile vanishing from his face.