The clinking sound of the rails beneath them slowed to almost a stop at the crest of the Matterhorn. Christy looked straight ahead, and all she saw was sky. Fear gripped her. She grabbed the handrails inside the bobsled, squeezed her eyes shut, and let out a wild shriek of sheer terror as the sled plummeted down the other side of the mountain. Forget snuggling! Forget the tender moment! Hanging on was all that counted.
Several sharp turns and dips later the racing bobsled splashed through the water and jerked to a stop. Another attendant offered his hand to help her out.
“You okay?” Todd asked, directing her to the exit.
“Yes.” Her whole body trembled, and she felt silly for screaming.
“That was just our appetizer ride. Now I think you’re ready for Space Mountain.” Todd had a look of boyish excitement in his eyes.
“How about something to drink first? I think I need a few minutes to recover.”
All day long they went on rides and ate and went on rides. After buying something to eat from every snack cart and experiencing every attraction in Tomorrowland, they headed for Adventureland.
Climbing atop the Swiss Family Robinson tree house, they looked out over the amusement park. Todd talked about his dream to someday live on a tropical island.
“I’m going to surf all day, eat papayas and mangos, and sip coconut juice right from the coconut.”
“Sounds exotic,” Christy said. “Are you going to live in a tree house like this one?”
“Yup. I’m going to sleep in a hammock, too.”
“And what are you going to do for money?”
“Oh, I’ll just trade beads with the natives and live off the land.”
“You know, you would have made a great hippie.”
“I probably would have. My dad always says he was the last hippie.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. He met my mom at Berkeley during a protest march, and they moved in together the next morning—after they got out of jail, that is.”
“I don’t believe it,” Christy scoffed.
“It’s true!”
After the tree house they waited in line for almost an hour for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. When they got off, they decided to wait in line to eat dinner at the Blue Bayou Restaurant. About half an hour later they were seated. Neither of them was very hungry, but they were glad for a cool, quiet place to sit. Their table was only a few feet from where the Pirates of the Caribbean boats launched for their journey. The fake, twinkling fireflies were what Christy liked best.
“Isn’t this relaxing? I feel like I’ve been transported to another time and place. I can’t believe how real these little fireflies look. They are pretend, aren’t they?”
“Of course,” Todd said with a laugh. “Amazing how real they can make stuff look now, huh? Do you know what you want yet?”
The panic that usually seized her at a time like this didn’t appear. “The chicken sounds good. Although, to be honest, I’m not real hungry.”
They took their time eating, and when the waiter brought the check, Todd laid down a fifty-dollar bill. Christy thought back over the day. Todd had tossed around cash like it was play money. He had paid for everything, including a sweatshirt and a little Winnie the Pooh stuffed toy.
Todd crammed the change into his pocket and asked, “Well, what do you want to do now?”
“Let’s go on some more rides. And then I need to find a souvenir for my little brother back home.”
Todd took her hand as they left the Blue Bayou and held it as they strolled through New Orleans Square. Oh, how she wished her hands weren’t so sweaty! Would Todd notice? His hand felt so strong and sure. She loved feeling close to him and secure as they slid through the crowds.
“Hey, how ’bout one of those for your brother?” Todd pointed to a mound of Mickey Mouse hats in a shop window. They darted in, laughing at each other as they tried on all the different hats. Finally they agreed on a black pirate’s hat with a long, blue feather.
“David will love this! I just hope I can get it home in decent shape.”
“When are you going back?” Todd asked as they got in line for the Jungle Cruise.
“That’s something I wanted to tell you.” Christy held his hand a little tighter. “My parents called last night and told me I had to come home right away. I’m leaving Sunday.”
“This Sunday? The day after tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” Todd asked. Christy thought she could read a look of disappointment on his face. “School doesn’t start for five more weeks. I don’t even leave for my mom’s until the first of September.”
“I know, but I guess things aren’t going so great, and my parents want me home so we can go through it together.”
“Go through what?”
“Well, the only thing I can figure out is that it must be the farm. I think I told you that my dad’s a farmer. Not as exciting as a reformed hippie, I know. But we haven’t really made it financially for the past three or four years, and my dad has sold off a lot of our land. I guess a bunch of stuff has happened since I left. I’m not sure what’s going on. All I know is that they want me home right away.”
“That’s really too bad.” Todd squeezed her hand.
“I’m going to miss you, Todd. We’ll have to write or something.”
“I’m not much of a writer, to be honest.”
“Well, Tallahassee’s not as far away from Wisconsin as California is. Is it?”
Todd laughed at her logic. “I don’t know.”
They had made it to the front of the line and stepped down into the boat. The ride operator, dressed in safari gear, advised the passengers to keep their hands and arms inside the moving vehicle at all times, warning them of the untamed animals they would encounter ahead.
Todd slipped his arm around the back of the seat. “This used to be my favorite ride when I was a kid.”
“I thought the bobsleds were.”
“Well, okay, this one and the bobsleds.”
He looked like a kid now, eagerly taking in all the fake jungle bird sounds. She could almost imagine him swinging on one of those jungle vines. You Tarzan, me Jane. Her mind drifted, creating a jungle romance.
“Just ahead,” the driver spoke into his microphone, “are the wild hippos. But have no fear, folks. They’re only dangerous when they wiggle their ears!”
Christy looked over her shoulder at the wild hippos rising out of the water only a few feet away from her. The largest one opened its jaws and, to her surprise, began to wiggle its ears.
“Oh, no, folks! Look out! He’s wiggling his ears!” The driver grabbed his cap gun and shot rapidly at the beast.
Completely startled, Christy let out a scream and threw herself onto Todd’s chest. The elderly couple next to them started laughing, and their small grandson patted Christy on the leg, saying, “Don’t cry, lady. Monster all gone!”
Everyone on the boat watched as Christy peeled herself off of an embarrassed Todd. The driver made the most of the situation.
“It’s okay, folks, the young lady will be all right. Actually, we hired her to come along and add some excitement to Disneyland’s own version of the Love Boat.”
Everyone laughed. Christy was totally embarrassed, but she laughed too. Todd slipped his arm around her and smiled an easy smile that said a thousand things to Christy. She read something deep and wonderful in his silver-blue eyes—or did she?
That’s when Christy began to wonder if he would kiss her good night when they got home. It flooded her thoughts so much that she barely paid attention to what they did the rest of the night. She didn’t listen to what Todd said. Instead, she drew inward, self-conscious about how she looked, wondering if she would bump into his nose when they kissed, how she should hold her mouth.… It was torture!
Around nine o’clock they stopped outside of Bear Country and watched the nightly fireworks display. Todd put his arm around her, and she rested her head
on his shoulder, feeling the same bright explosions inside as each fireworks burst in the night sky. In the distance they watched as a real live Tinkerbell, hooked on a cable, “flew” from the top of the Matterhorn and across the Magic Kingdom to Fantasyland.
As they were leaving the park, they made one last stop at the Emporium and watched the glassblower make a tiny Tinkerbell figurine. The liquid-hot glass looked like clear bubblegum as the craftsman pulled and pinched and twisted it about his blue-flamed blowtorch.
“That’s so amazing,” Christy said when the craftsman had finished and held up the figurine.
“You want it?” Todd asked.
“Well, I don’t know.” Every time she had looked at something twice or said she liked it, Todd had pulled out his bank roll and bought it for her.
“Excuse me,” Todd said to the salesclerk in a long dress and white pinafore. “Could we get that glass Tinkerbell he just made?”
“Certainly,” she said and gently wrapped the tiny fairy in tissue paper and placed it in a box.
“Thanks, Todd.” Christy squeezed his arm. “I really appreciate your getting me all these things. Thanks.”
“It’s all right,” Todd said casually. “Want anything else to eat?”
“Are you kidding? I don’t think I can eat another bite for a week!”
They walked out on Main Street, and Christy noticed all the little white twinkling lights strung on the trees. It really is a fairy-tale land.
Juggling all her shopping bags, she realized Todd had his hands full of bags too. She hadn’t remembered buying this much, but now the bags felt heavy and burdensome. Her feet ached, her throat ached, her arms ached. If she went on one more ride she would be too tired to scream.
“Anything else you want to see?” Todd asked.
“Just a nice place to sit down.”
“How about Gus?”
“Sounds good.”
They rode the shuttle through the parking lot, balancing all the bags on their laps. Most of the cars had disappeared from the lot that was several times bigger than her hometown park.
It was a mellow ride home in Gus, both of them too tired to say much. Christy probably would have fallen asleep except her mind kept torturing her about the moment when their date would end. She played the scene over and over in her imagination. Would he kiss her? What would it be like? Should she close her eyes? What if she had bad breath? She could hardly stand the suspense.
Finally the moment arrived when Todd walked her to the front door. It was almost midnight. Her heart pounded wildly. She swallowed hard.
“Thanks, Todd. This was the best birthday I ever, ever had.” She looked up at him shyly, expectantly.
He put his arms around her and hugged her tightly. “Good night, Christy,” he said softly. And then he pulled away without kissing her.
“Good night,” Christy echoed, hiding her disappointment.
Todd stuck his hands into his pockets and headed toward Gus. Then, as if he had forgotten something, he turned around. Christy’s heart froze.
He’s coming back! Now what should I do? Is he going to kiss me now?
“I almost forgot,” Todd said with a laugh. “Here.” He pulled a wad of money from his pocket and handed it to Christy.
“What’s this for?”
“Your aunt. It’s what’s left over.”
“What do you mean? I don’t get it.”
“It’s left over from the money your aunt gave me to take you to Disneyland. We didn’t spend it all, so I thought you should give her the rest back.”
The blood drained from Christy’s face. “You mean my aunt asked you to take me today, and she even gave you the money?”
“Hey! It’s cool. We had a great time. I’m glad she talked me into it.”
“Talked you into it!”
Christy turned on her heels and jerked the front door open, catapulting up the stairs. In her fury she stumbled on the third step and lost her sandal. With the rage of a wild warrior she grabbed her sandal, heaved it toward Todd, and fled to her room. Some day in the Magic Kingdom! So much for happily ever after! Her “fairy godmother” was only her aggravating aunt, and her handsome prince had just turned into a toad!
The digital clock on the nightstand read 12:04. The sun shining in through Christy’s bedroom window was so bright it seemed to shout at her. She didn’t feel much better than she had twelve hours earlier when she had thrown her shoe at Todd, flung the money in her aunt’s face, and screamed, “Get out of my life!” As a grand finale she had heaved a pillow at her uncle when he followed her into her room to try to talk to her.
They were wise to let her sleep, to leave her alone for the last twelve hours. Christy knew she couldn’t burrow in her bed any longer; she had to rise and face the inevitable. Things needed to be settled with her aunt, and she had to pack before her plane left tomorrow morning.
Thinking about all those hard issues only pressed her deeper into her pillow. She felt gunky. Her top eyelashes stuck to the bottom lashes, her teeth seemed encased in caramel corn, her eyes were puffy from crying, and she was all tangled up in her Disneyland clothes.
Strewn across the floor were the shopping bags she had thrown hither and yon in her fury. Bags filled with all the souvenirs Todd had bought for her. Or rather, bags that her aunt had financed Todd to get for her. Her room was a mess, she was a mess, her life was a mess.
“That’s the problem with hissy fits,” Paula had said once. “You always have to clean up after yourself, and it’s very humbling.”
What humbled Christy at that moment was seeing her new Bible fanned out on the floor where it had landed after being ejected from a flying bag. Meekly, she slithered out of bed and retrieved it, smoothing down the wrinkled pages.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “It’s just that I don’t think any of this is fair. Why did my aunt make such a fool out of me? Why did Todd go along with her? And why do I have to go home tomorrow? Now things will never work out between Todd and me!”
Christy realized she was talking to God as if it were the most natural thing for her to do, just like her new friends talked to Him. “I don’t know what my problem is. I just feel like I’m losing it. Like everything around me is going under. What am I doing wrong, God?”
In the silence that followed a piercing thought came to Christy: the nightmare she had had weeks ago. The memory so filled her mind that the feelings all came back, rushing toward her with urgent freshness. It was as if she were, once again, barely hanging on to the side of the boat. The tentacles of seaweed were wrapping themselves tighter and tighter around her legs. She was facing that terrifying moment all over again, the moment when she had to decide whether to get into the boat or let the seaweed pull her under. Only this time she was wide awake, and the dream paralleled reality too strongly for her to ignore it. Jesus was that boat, like Todd had said. And if she ever wanted to get to heaven (or Hawaii, as Todd had called it), she had to get in the boat.
She knew what she had to do, and she knew she had to do it now. Christy knelt beside her bed, bowed her head, and closed her eyes. Then she spoke aloud in a soft voice.
“God, I realize that what’s missing in my life is You. I mean, I’ve known about You my whole life, but I don’t know You the same way Todd and Tracy do. And I want to know You personally, like they said. I really want You to come into my life. So, Lord, please forgive all my sins and come into my life right now. I promise my whole heart to You forever. Amen.”
She opened her eyes and turned to study her reflection in the mirror. She looked the same as when she had pulled herself out of bed—hair a mess, clothes wrinkled, raccoon eyes from smeared mascara. But inside she knew she was different. Not wildly emotional or anything, just clean. Secure. Happy. She smiled and hugged her Bible close to her. She was in the boat, and the adventure was just beginning.
The first big wave ahead would be facing Aunt Marti.
Christy showered and dressed quickly. She found her aunt
and uncle sitting on the patio, sipping iced tea. Christy quietly slid past her aunt and settled on the chaise lounge next to her uncle’s chair. They both acted as though she weren’t there, waiting for her to make the first move.
“About last night …” Christy began, rubbing her hands together, “I think I owe you an apology.”
“No, darling.” Aunt Marti turned to face her. “I realize that it is I who owes you an apology.”
Uncle Bob remained quiet with a furrowed brow, as if he were unsure where this conversation would lead.
“I was terribly at fault, and I’m not sure I can ever forgive myself for not preparing you for your first experience.”
“Well,” Christy fumbled, “it’s not that you didn’t … I mean, I really shouldn’t have expected anything more, I guess. It’s just that I really thought Todd wanted to be with me just because he liked me, but …”
“No, Christy, don’t blame yourself. And don’t blame Todd. It’s my fault. I really should have seen it coming and done more to prepare you.”
“It just hurts, that’s all. And I felt so stupid. So used.”
“Yes,” Aunt Marti agreed, “men can make you feel that way—especially the first time.”
“What do you mean, ‘Men can make you feel that way’?” Christy asked belligerently. “You made me feel that way, Aunt Martha!”
“I made you feel that way? How could I possibly make you feel used?”
“By giving Todd all that money and bribing him into taking me to Disneyland!”
Aunt Marti stared at her in disbelief. “You mean that’s what all the tears were about last night? The screaming and the turmoil were simply over my helping to finance your birthday excursion?”
“Yes.” Christy stared back. “What did you think I was so upset about?”
Bob interjected, “You don’t want to know what she thinks you were upset about. She’s lost all comprehension of youthful innocence. Too many soap operas. It’s warped her mind.”
“It has not, Robert! I resent you saying such a thing! Here I was, honestly concerned that Christy had her first intimate encounter with a young man and feeling guilty for not doing more to prepare her!”
Christy Miller Collection, Volume 1 Page 13
