A Mother's Love

by Katie Flynn

  Wiggy handed Aidan a blank sheet of thin writing paper. ‘Then stop being stupid, apologise, and go from there. She sounds like a good girl does Ellie; she’ll come round. Chances are she won’t have taken it personally anyway.’

  Aidan smoothed the paper out. ‘Sounds logical when you say it. Let’s hope you’re right.’

  Wiggy grinned. ‘Course I’m right! You mark my words, six months from now you’ll be lookin’ back at this and wonderin’ what all the fuss was about.’

  Ellie approached the gate that led into the cobbled yard. She had been surprised at how much the smell of the farm had changed. When she had left to join the ATS it had been midwinter and everything was covered in snow or ice, which had dampened the smell of the farmyard, whereas now, in the heat of the summer sun, the smell of manure, pigs, cattle and horses seemed pungent in her nostrils. As she laid a hand on the old wooden five-bar gate that separated the farm from the lane she felt a sense of belonging, and her spirits rose as she heard Lady give out a loud friendly woof as the old collie alerted the family to her presence. Not that anyone ever took much notice when Lady barked, mainly because she would bark at anything that took her fancy, from a crow which had landed on top of one of the chimneys to a rat running along the line of stables.

  Ellie felt a sense of awkwardness as she stood waiting for someone to open the door. When she had written to Aidan to let him know that she intended to visit the farm, she had hoped he would try to get some leave so they could meet there, but instead his response had been rather standoffish, as if he thought himself to be too good for her. She began to wonder whether things had changed and she would not be as welcome as she once was; perhaps the Murrays had only agreed she might come and visit out of a sense of duty.

  ‘That you, Ellie?’

  ‘Yes, Auntie Aileen,’ Ellie called back through the stout wooden door.

  ‘What the bloomin’ heck are you standin’ out there for? Come on in, child, you’ve no need to knock. You’re family.’

  Ellie smiled. She had been worrying over nothing. As her feet crossed the threshold, she felt as though no time at all had elapsed since she was last there. The fire still burned brightly in the grate, and there was the familiar smell of Auntie Aileen’s home-cooked food coming from the Aga. Ellie thought, not for the first time, that even though she had only stayed on the farm for a few months it felt as though she had lived there far longer.

  Uncle Kieran instructed her to go and put her things in ‘her room’, and when she returned Auntie Aileen enveloped her in a warm and friendly hug, whilst planting a kiss on top of her head and telling her to ‘sit down and tell us all about it’.

  At breakfast the next morning Ellie expected to be introduced to the land girls, and was surprised to find that there were none.

  ‘Some of the old fellers have come out of retirement wanting to do their bit. It seemed logical to have experienced hands working the farm, and it helps the old fellers feel as if they’re contributing towards the war effort, so it works out all round,’ Uncle Kieran explained as they sat round the table, eating the thick creamy porridge that Auntie Aileen always served up for breakfast. ‘They may be riddled with arthritis, but they know what they’re doin’,’ he added, glancing defensively at his wife.

  ‘You just don’t like the idea of strangers on the farm, Kieran Murray, so don’t go pretendin’ otherwise.’ She looked enquiringly at Ellie. ‘Besides, I don’t want to talk about land girls. I want to know if Ellie’s seen our Aidan since he started flying them there moths?’

  Uncle Kieran cast his eyes to the ceiling. ‘Tiger Moths, you silly mare, not moths! How could you expect him to win the war on the back of a moth?’

  ‘Tiger Moths,’ Mrs Murray corrected.

  Ellie shook her head. ‘I’ve not seen anyone from home since I joined up, apart from Arla, of course. I did ask Aidan if we could meet back here, but he couldn’t get away.’

  Two dimples appeared in Auntie Aileen’s large pink cheeks and she clapped her hands together. ‘Ah, well, I expect he’s very busy. Him and Connor both write regular and I know they’re hopin’ to end up in the same aircrew. Kieran says he’ll take me to see them one day, if they don’t have time to come here. I can’t wait to see our Aidan in a smart uniform. I expect he’ll look a right bobby-dazzler.’

  Uncle Kieran winked at Ellie. ‘We all know who he gets that off, what d’you reckon, Ellie?’

  Giggling, Ellie nodded. ‘All the Murray men look alike if you ask me. It’s the black hair and green eyes.’

  He gave his wife a satisfied smile. ‘See, woman? I’m always tellin’ you that you’re lucky to have a feller like me.’

  Auntie Aileen gestured towards Ellie with the large wooden spoon. ‘I reckon our Aidan needs to keep his mind off women and on the job in hand. I told him as much, and he agreed,’ she said smugly.

  Ellie felt a sense of relief wash over her. Whatever the reason for Aidan’s abruptness in his last letter, it was not because he had found himself a girlfriend, so maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe he really was too busy to come to the farm, she thought, and if that’s the case it means I’m still in with a chance, only I’d better make my mind up quickly, else my fears really will come true and some other woman will snap him up. A pilot’s uniform is like gold dust to some women, especially ones like Evie, and I refuse to lose him to the likes of her just because I can’t make my mind up as to whether I just love Aidan or whether I’m in love with him.

  When breakfast was over Ellie made her way to the milking shed and found the small three-legged stool in the same place as it always was. Pulling it towards her, she tethered Dave and fetched the pail. She wondered whether she had lost the knack, but as the milk squirted into the bottom of the bucket she smiled to herself. She loved her role in the ATS, but she also loved the simplicity of working on the farm. It didn’t matter in which order you did your chores, as long as they got done some time during the day. The animals never shouted or ordered you around, which was a far cry from life on a gun site, where shouting and being shouted at was all part of a day’s work.

  Returning to the farmhouse, Ellie entered the kitchen and all she could smell was the Irish stew that Auntie Aileen had doled out into dishes in readiness for the workers. It was a far cry from the NAAFI, which smelled of disinfectant, food and body sweat. Having washed her hands, she took her place by the table.

  ‘I wish you could come and work in the kitchen for the ATS. I reckon you could teach ’em a thing or two when it comes to cooking,’ she said, blowing on a spoonful of stew. ‘I know we’re all on rations, but I don’t think the army cooks have ever heard of salt and pepper.’

  The older woman beamed. ‘When you’re the wife of a farmer you have to make sure the men never go hungry, so you learn a trick or two along the way. I dare say they aren’t taught that in the army. I did notice that you seem to’ve slimmed down since joinin’ up.’

  Ellie saw Uncle Kieran’s eyebrows rise above the top of his newspaper. ‘That’s more to do wi’ growin’, though, don’t you think?’ He brought the pages of the paper together as he looked at Ellie. ‘I mean to say, she never ’ad a waist before she left Springdale, nor a bosom neither …’

  ‘Kieran!’ Auntie Aileen shrieked as she flicked the tea towel at him. ‘That’s not a polite thing to say about a young woman.’

  He placed the paper momentarily down on his lap and frowned up at his wife. ‘Why not? It’s true, and it’s only natural. I was just sayin’ that I thought the food was goin’ to the right places.’

  Ellie frowned. Surely she hadn’t changed that much? It was girls like Evie, Arla and Gwen who had figures. Ellie was more like a beanstalk, or at least she had been when she first joined the ATS. She looked down towards her plate and realised to her surprise that Uncle Kieran was right. She had formed a bust, albeit a smallish one. She glanced up. ‘May I be excused?’

  Auntie Aileen slapped Uncle Kieran’s arm with the back of her hand. ‘See? You’ve
embarrassed the poor girl.’ She smiled kindly at Ellie. ‘Of course you may, but do come back to finish your plate, won’t you?’

  Nodding, Ellie climbed the stairs to her room. There was a half-length mirror on the front of the wardrobe, and she examined her reflection. She was wearing an old pair of dungarees that were too big for her, but when she placed her hands on her hips a smile formed on her lips. I have got a waist, she thought, turning to look at her profile. The smile widened. And my bust looks bigger here than it does when I look down at myself. Turning from side to side, she marvelled at her reflection. Why hadn’t anyone said anything sooner? Surely Uncle Kieran couldn’t be the only one to have noticed? Realisation dawned. It had been months since she had seen any of her old friends. But why hadn’t she noticed herself? That was an easier question to answer. The only mirrors she ever saw herself in were either the ones above the washbasins in the ablutions or the hand-held one that belonged to Gwen.

  She made her way back to the kitchen, where a rather sheepish-looking Uncle Kieran greeted her. ‘Sorry if I—’

  Ellie held up a hand. ‘No need for apologies. It just came as a bit of a shock, because I hadn’t noticed myself how much I’d changed until you said.’

  He grinned smugly at his wife. ‘Told you our Ellie hadn’t run off upset because of me.’

  ‘All I can say is you’re lucky, Kieran Murray, ’cos if I thought you’d upset our Ellie with your crude talk …’

  Ellie laughed. ‘He might be a bit blunt at times, but there’s no harm in that.’ Scraping the last of the stew from her bowl, she looked towards the Aga. ‘I don’t s’pose that’s apple crumble and custard I can smell, is it?’ she asked hopefully.

  Uncle Kieran winked at her. ‘Aye, it is, and thanks for diggin’ me out of the mire.’

  Later that evening, as Ellie snuggled down in her small cosy bed, she closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the farmyard as it settled down for the night. Every now and then one of the cows would call to the bull, who would bellow a response. The pigs snorted and snuffled as they adjusted their sleeping positions in the sties, and the barn owls hooted softly as they glided past her window on silent wings. She wondered what the girls in her barracks would be doing right now, and whether Bagheera was behaving himself. She glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside cabinet and imagined that they would all be in their beds, trying their best to snuggle beneath the itchy blankets whilst not getting stabbed in the back by an errant piece of straw from one of the biscuits. Gwen would be snoring, which would annoy the other girls as there was no one to give the underside of her mattress a good shove, a practice which normally guaranteed an end to the snoring. Ellie smiled. Given a choice between army life and farming life, she would choose farming every time.

  Chapter Nine

  ‘Are you sure you don’t want to come with me? I don’t mind …’ Ellie had begun, but Gwen waved her into silence.

  ‘You haven’t seen Arla for ages; you need some alone time to catch up. Besides, if she’s here for a week I’m bound to see her at some stage.’

  Ellie smiled. ‘Too right you will. Can’t have me Welsh bezzie not meetin’ me Scouse bezzie, can I? Besides, Arla’s dying to meet you – and Bagheera, of course.’

  Gwen, who was taking her stockings off by the door to the hut, glanced along the row of beds. ‘Speakin’ of which, I don’t s’pose you know where he is?’

  Ellie shook her head. ‘He didn’t get me when I came in, so I’m guessin’ he must be further down.’

  Taking care to walk down the centre of the hut, Gwen glanced at each bed as she drew level with it. She placed her stockings on her top bunk before heaving herself up. ‘What time are you off?’

  Ellie glanced at the clock. ‘I said I’d meet her in Bumbles at four, so I’ve got a good hour or so before I have to leave.’

  The door to the hut swung open and Sandra Hill, another girl from Section B, came in tentatively. ‘Where is he?’ she asked, slipping off her shoes.

  Gwen shrugged. ‘Dunno, but I don’t think he’s up this end.’

  Sandra glanced along the line of beds. ‘Oh well, here goes nothin’.’ Gripping her shoes and stockings tightly to her chest, she made her way down the length of the room and sat down on her bed, only to jump up with a squeal. ‘Little blighter! Gerroff!’

  Gwen stifled a giggle. ‘You found him, then?’

  Sandra unhooked the small kitten’s claws from around her ankle and carried him over to Ellie. ‘When did Caldecott say he’d grow out of this phase?’

  Ellie held up her hands to receive Bagheera, who was looking very pleased with himself. ‘She didn’t, she just said once we let him go out of the hut he’ll have lots of mice and rats to ambush, so he won’t need to practise on us any more.’

  Sandra rubbed her ankles. ‘So why don’t we let him out?’

  Ellie looked affronted. ‘He’s still too small. It’s a big world out there and he’s not used to any of it. What if he gets run over by a truck, or picked on by a dog, or …’

  Sandra eyed Bagheera, who had grown considerably in the past month. ‘Then the dog would be in for a shock, wouldn’t it?’

  Gwen giggled. ‘She’s got a point, Ellie. Baggy’s quite capable of lookin’ after himself, even if you can’t see it.’

  Ellie smoothed her hands over the kitten’s back. ‘I’ll let him out when I’ve got time to supervise him. My friend’s coming home on leave, Sandra, so I won’t be able to do it this week, but I promise I’ll do it soon.’

  Shaking her head, Sandra headed back to her bed. ‘Tomorrow never comes, didn’t your mother ever teach you that? There’s no time like the present, you should take the bull by the horns and run with it: all old sayings and all very true.’

  ‘Tried that once and it was not a good idea,’ Ellie muttered as she continued to stroke the fur on Bagheera’s head. ‘Try not lookin’ so pleased with yourself, Baggy. You’re not helpin’ matters.’

  Gwen raised an eyebrow. ‘You’re lucky he doesn’t attack Evie, because there’s no way she’d put up with it.’

  Ellie shrugged. ‘He may be small, but he recognises evil when he sees it. He knows she’d hit back.’

  Watching Bagheera ambush people had become something of a spectator sport. Now whenever one of the girls entered the hut she would almost absentmindedly remove her shoes and stockings before making her way to her bed, or, as some of them had put it, running the gauntlet. As they made their way down the hut, all the other girls would stop what they were doing and watch with interest. It was always entertaining to see one of your roommates leaping around as she tried to remove a furry limpet from her ankle, but never amusing if it was happening to you. He might have been small, but his claws left noticeable nicks in the stockings of anyone indifferent to the idea.

  Ellie sighed. ‘I will let you out, little fellow, but only when I think you’ll be safe.’

  Gwen raised her eyebrows. ‘I don’t think you need to worry about his safety. You called him Bagheera for a reason, don’t forget. He’s more than capable of looking after himself, no matter what you may think.’

  ‘Archie? As in Archie Byrnes?’

  Arla giggled. ‘Yup! He said you’d be surprised!’

  Ellie stirred the contents of the teapot then poured some into her cup. ‘Surprised is a bit of an understatement, especially since you joined the ATS in the hope of marryin’ an officer or summat similar. You may as well’ve saved yourself the bother and stayed back home.’ She stared quizzically across the table at her friend. ‘You two used to fight like cat and dog. I knew things had improved a bit since you started working together, but I never thought for a minute you’d end up together!’

  ‘I know. Funny how things turn out, isn’t it? If you’d told me six months ago that me and Archie would end up as boyfriend and girlfriend I’d’ve said you was tapped in the ’ead, but now,’ she sighed wistfully, ‘I couldn’t be happier.’

  Smiling, Ellie shook her head. ‘I reckon he must�
�ve cast a spell on you, or given you some sort of love potion. I’ve never seen such a turnaround.’

  Resting her arms on the table, Arla placed her chin in her hand and smiled black at Ellie. ‘I gorra admit I’m not sure how it came about meself, only that when you live and work with someone you get to know them really well, and the more I got to know him the more I liked him. He’s so different in the army. Back home he was annoyin’ and stupid, but now,’ she sighed happily, ‘he’s kind, carin’, thoughtful, helpful, and he treats me like I’m the only girl in the world.’ Seeing the disbelief on Ellie’s face, she chuckled. ‘I know how it must seem, Ellie, and I won’t deny that I had me sights set a lot higher than Archie, but truth be told, officers don’t want to date a private, especially not one from the courts, and now I wouldn’t want to date them either. I’m far happier with my own kind. The courts ain’t the best place to live, far from it, but there’s a lot to be said for the folk what live in ’em.’ She took a sip of her tea before continuing. ‘But that’s enough about Archie an’ me. What’ve you been up to? Have you seen anyone who takes your fancy?’

  Ellie shook her head. ‘I’ve been to a few dances, but I’ve not met anyone who stands out from the crowd.’ She regarded Arla with an enquiring eye. ‘You don’t care what people think, then? About you and Archie gettin’ together?’

  Arla shook her head. ‘Why should I? It’s no one’s business but mine who I choose to spend time with.’ She returned Ellie’s questioning look. ‘You don’t think any less of me, do you?’

  ‘No, of course I don’t. I was just a bit surprised, that’s all. As you say, it’s up to you who you see, and what other people think doesn’t matter.’ Even as the words left her lips, Ellie knew them to be false. At first, she herself had worried what Arla would think of Aidan when she met him, and that was the reason why she had never mentioned his disability, but now she admitted to herself that if anyone had a problem with Aidan’s appearance it was she, Ellie. It wasn’t that she minded the way he looked herself, but she was worried about what others might think when they saw him.