I frowned. “What kind of news?”
He licked his lips and lowered his head as though he didn’t want to have to tell me what was going on.
“Rupert, what the fuck?” I snapped. “What’s going on?”
“Some pictures have surfaced of you and Aiden… together.”
Those words shut me down. It was as if I wasn’t sure I’d heard him correctly. “What pictures?” I asked. We’d been very careful, Aiden and I. I couldn’t even think of a moment when we’d slipped up.
Rupert picked up the envelope he had on the sofa next to him and handed it to me. I took it and removed the two photos that were inside. There in color and HD were two images of me kissing Aiden in my home in Vegas. We were in my hot tub, making out. I remembered this night, it was a month ago when Aiden had come out there to visit me. Holy shit… I felt my life flash before my eyes as I looked at them. My heart began thumping in my chest like a piston and I looked up at Rupert.
“Who sent you these?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. There wasn’t any return address or note or anything. Just the photos.”
“Do they want money?” I asked, thinking someone was trying to shake me down.
“If they do, they haven’t demanded it yet. Listen, kid, this is what I was worried about. Things like this always find a way of coming out. We have to bury it, but I won’t be able to bury it if Aiden is still in your life.”
“Bury what?”
We both turned to see Aiden standing in the doorway of my bedroom. This wasn’t good at all and I really didn’t know what to do or think. My mind scrambled for logic, but I just couldn’t think logically at the moment. Why… why did shit like this have to happen to us?
The lack of Macio’s body heat woke me up. It amazed me how quickly I became addicted to his touch and the way I sought him out in my sleep. Overnight stays were not something I had with many guys in my past. I was used to waking up alone, yet my subconscious knew when he was supposed to be near.
“Macio,” I said into the darkness of the hotel room. I understood his need for the hotel, but I would much rather have gone to his home after the fight. I sometimes resented sharing him with his team, but never with his dog Caesar.
I decided to look for Macio when it was obvious he was neither in the bedroom or the adjoining bathroom. I had a feeling that something was wrong, but wasn’t sure what it could be. Sure, we had that minor disagreement about the escort and that article about me and Seth, but we got over it. We had grown a lot in such a short time that even though our situation wasn’t ideal, I had faith that we were going to make it work.
I heard raised male voices when I approached the bedroom door. I couldn’t imagine what the hell Rupert was doing in our hotel room so early in the morning. What was so important that it couldn’t wait?
“Do they want money?” I heard Macio ask when I opened the door and looked out into the living room.
Rupert shrugged and said, “If they do, they haven’t demanded it yet. Listen, kid, this is what I was worried about. Things like this always find a way of coming out. We have to bury it, but I won’t be able to bury it if Aiden is still in your life.”
“Bury what?” I asked. I saw Rupert holding an envelope while Macio looked at photos in his hands. The ominous feeling from seconds before grew until I thought I would be physically sick. The devastated look on Macio’s face when he looked at me did nothing to make me feel better. “What’s going on?” I looked back at Rupert when Macio stood silent. I blanched at the triumphant look that briefly crossed Rupert’s face.
Then Rupert’s expression morphed into one of deep concern. “Seems the two of you weren’t as careful as you thought. Someone is blackmailing Macio with photos of you.”
“What?” I asked. Macio said nothing in response, but he handed the photos to me with a trembling hand when I reached for them. The frightened look in his eyes nearly killed me. I reached for him, hoping to comfort him, but he stepped back from my touch and shook his head. It would have hurt me less had he stabbed me in the heart.
I looked down at two photos of Macio and me kissing while in the hot tub at his house. I forced the fear that I was losing Macio out of my mind so I could focus. Investigative journalism had been my first love, so I let my natural instincts kick in. I looked at the pictures with an observant eye and picked up a few things. One, the pictures were taken in Macio’s backyard – his very private backyard that very few people had access to. Two, they were very poor quality, which told me an amateur took them and not some seasoned paparazzo like Troy Danvers.
Macio walked over to the large windows that overlooked the city. I saw his reflection in the window and the guarded man that I met at our first interview had returned. Gone were the laughing eyes and blinding smiles; instead, I could see him building a wall between us brick by brick. I knew I had to think fast or lose him forever. So, I told them the two things that struck me as odd. I was encouraged when Macio turned and faced me.
“What do you think it means?” he asked.
“Can I see the blackmail note?” I asked Rupert. I could tell a lot about a person by their grammar and word choices. Rupert turned a slight shade of pink and then admitted that none existed. “And this envelope just showed up at your hotel room at…” I looked at the ornate clock on the wall, “three o’clock in the morning?”
“I…”
“Don’t you find that odd, Macio?” I cut Rupert off before he could answer. Something was really wrong about the entire situation.
“What do you mean?” He came back to the middle of the room where Rupert and I stood.
“If I were going to blackmail you and had access to your publicist’s hotel room, then I’d take a little bit better advantage of the situation.” Macio tipped his head to the side and I hoped I was getting somewhere with him. “First of all, I wouldn’t have sent the photos without a demand for money…”
“Maybe that’s next,” Rupert said, cutting me off. “Could be they’re just waiting for the right moment.”
“Come on, Rupert. You’re smarter than that.” I looked at Macio and ignored the other man who sputtered in shock. “These pictures were taken when, babe?”
“A month ago,” Macio answered.
“Exactly. This person, who has shitty photography skills by the way, took a money shot like this and held onto it until after your championship fight? Wouldn’t they ask for the money before? Not only does he or she show up after the fight, but slips this through Rupert’s door in the middle of the night? This floor isn’t accessible without an elevator key.” I reached for Macio and was encouraged when he didn’t pull away from me that time. “This isn’t some outside guy threatening to expose you, babe. This is someone getting back at you because they didn’t get their way.”
“I don’t think I like where this is going.” Rupert’s response was nearly a snarl and so different from how he usually spoke that Macio and I both turned to look at him. “Who are you accusing and what are you accusing them of?”
“Relax, Rupert,” Macio said. “Let him talk.”
I ignored Rupert’s outburst even though it only made the entire deal look shadier to me. “Macio, think about it. Kathy’s behavior in the limo, the escort in the room, and then her showing you that stupid story Troy Danvers wrote about me. Doesn’t it seem like too much of a coincidence?”
“Kathy’s behavior in the limo?” Rupert asked in concern. “What’s he talking about?” Macio told him about Kathy hitting on him and learning that she hadn’t gotten over him like they thought. He told Rupert that they were ending the charade. “It won’t matter now that these pictures are going to get leaked,” Rupert said bluntly. “Everyone will know that she was your beard. She’s going to be hounded in the press something fierce.” He shook his head sadly. “Barry will be heartbroken when his daughter’s name and reputation gets dragged through the mud.”
“Who says they’re going to be leaked? Where’s the threat to go the press?�
� I challenged.
“It’s obviously a silent threat,” Rupert fired back. His chest puffed out as he labored to breathe during his righteous indignation over the situation. “Macio, you’ve known Kathy for a long time. She’s not the kind of person to do something like this.” He looked at me and raised his voice even more. “That leaves Barry and me. Which one of us are you accusing of trying to ruin his career - the very career that both Barry and I depend on? You’re the only one with nothing to lose.”
“Do you even hear yourself right now, Rupert?” I asked.
Rupert advanced on me with pure hatred in his eyes and I braced myself for his attack. “Listen, you little arrogant…”
“Stop it,” Macio yelled, cutting Rupert off. He stepped between Rupert and me, blocking Rupert from my sight and physical reach. My heart sank when I met Macio’s dark eyes. I saw so many emotions in their depths – sadness, fear, and the one that hurt me the most, regret.
“Macio.” I was ready to plead for him to not give up on us. It just couldn’t be the end.
“Aiden… we need to take this seriously,” Macio said. “What I see is someone, one of those parasite fucking journalists to be exact, found a way to capture photos of us on my private property. Who knows how many photos they have of us?” He sighed, then he turned from me, running his hand down his face. I could tell he was going into full panic mode.
“I’m sure this is just their warning photo, letting us know that they—whoever they are—know about you,” Rupert added, fueling Macio’s paranoia.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Macio swore as he turned around to face me. “Baby, maybe we need to calm it down a bit.”
“There’s no way in hell this shitty photo is the work of a professional. Look,” I pointed at the poor quality of the pictures, “I’m not even sure people will recognize us.” I turned and addressed Rupert. “Macio lives in a gated community that requires a passcode to get in. How did a paparazzo get in to take these photos?” I could feel my frustration rising as I realized how close I was to losing Macio.
“You’re asking me? How would I know how some scumbag got access to his home? Maybe he bribed the security. Maybe he climbed the gate. Maybe it’s someone inside of the community who saw you two. I mean, how careful were you?” Rupert shot back. “Look, this is what I was worried about, kid. You know what this will do to your career. It’s as good as over if these images get out. Maybe whoever sent them is just warning you. Maybe that’s why there wasn’t a note.”
“We can’t take the chance, Aiden. I can’t lose the belt. This is my livelihood, it’s all I know. It’s what I train for. If those pictures get out, regardless of who sent them, I’m ruined. My career is ruined.”
“Babe, I am taking this seriously, but it’s important that cooler heads prevail here and we don’t panic. You have to acknowledge that there’s something off about the whole situation.”
“I don’t care! I… I just need time to think, damn it!” He looked up at me and his expression softened. “Aiden, I….” His voice cracked and his words broke off. “I need time, Aiden. This is my career, it’s everything to me. I worked my ass off to win that title and even harder to keep it. I can’t lose it.”
My heart plummeted to my feet as I took a step back from him and then another. I suspected that his request for time really meant that we were over. I knew all along that it could happen, that my love wouldn’t be enough to risk his career over. I had hoped that he’d someday learn that he could have it all. Loving me and being a fighter didn’t have to be mutually exclusive. I knew nothing else I had to say would make a difference and could only hope that time and space would make him see that what we had was worth fighting for.
“Okay, Macio.” Tears burned the back of my eyes, but I refused to show my grief in front of Rupert.
I went into the bedroom and quietly packed my bag, hoping that Macio would come into the bedroom and say goodbye to me privately, but it didn’t happen. I walked out of his hotel room with my head held high. If it was going to be the last time he saw me, then I wanted him to see a strong man worthy of his love and devotion.
That strength lasted until I made it to the car where I felt safe enough to let my grief flow. I vowed it was the last time I drove home in the middle of the night with tears streaking down my face from Macio breaking my heart.
“What the fuck did I just do?” I asked myself as I stared at the closed hotel door that I let Aiden walk out of.
Rupert came up behind me, clasping my shoulder. “I know this was hard, kid. I know how much he meant to you. And who knows, once this dies down… you two might be able to get back together.”
I turned from him, shaking my head. “Maybe we weren’t meant to be together. Maybe I was being selfish in thinking we were. He’s out in the open and I’m in the shadows.” Maybe this was best. At least that was what I was trying to convince myself of. I thought we were playing it safe, but then who in the fuck took those pictures?
“I’m just glad they sent the photos to me instead of some tabloid,” Rupert said, and I nodded.
“How did they know that you’d be here?”
“I’m trying to figure that out myself. Although, it’s not like I was in hiding. I’m wondering if it’s some groupie of yours that doesn’t want you with a man,” Rupert speculated, shrugging. “Not all stalkers are professional paparazzi.”
My mind raced with a million thoughts and every last one of them made me want to puke. I felt sick to my stomach and my head was throbbing. I hated seeing the pain in Aiden’s eyes when he looked at me. Oh god, what had I done? My heart felt like it’d been ripped from my chest and stomped on, kicked across the room, then pushed back into my body by the Hulk. I knew Aiden and I were playing a dangerous game, and I think that was part of my excitement. I also felt like I deserved the happiness he brought me and I felt good knowing I brought him happiness.
Jesus, did I just throw all that away?
“Macio, I can see you’re stressing, but you need to stick to your guns on this one,” Rupert said. “You need to let him go before you two get in too deep.”
I plopped down on the sofa. “It’s already too late for that. I love him, Rupert.”
There was a hardness to Rupert’s expression when I said that. Of course, I wasn’t surprised. He’d been against Aiden and me from the beginning, but he always kept it professional and kept our secret.
He sat down on the sofa beside me. “I know this hurts, kid. But this is best. Like you said, you’re living on two sides of a coin. He’s openly gay, you’re not. He can go on dates with guys and no one really gives a shit. You get caught kissing an openly gay public figure, Shane will go crazy. MMA isn’t a sport that will accept you being gay, you know this.”
“Fuck, I know! Damn it, does that mean I have to always be alone?” I shot back. I was angry as hell. Angry at whoever took those fucking pictures. Angry at the MMA sports world for forcing me to live in the closet. Angry at a society that wanted to shame two men in love. But most of all, I was angry at myself for being so damned weak!
“You have to choose, then. Once you make your decision, you stick to it. Aiden or your career, because that’s what this comes down to, Macio,” Rupert said.
I looked at him and he was staring at me with a stern expression. I thought about how happy Aiden made me, how much I loved being in his presence, the scent of him next to me and how intoxicating it all was. I thought about how his smile could brighten my day and the sound of his laughter warmed my heart. I thought about how great it felt to be inside of him, bringing him pleasure and seeing that look of ecstasy on his face when that moment came.
Then I thought about what I’d be giving up if I chose him. Millions of dollars in endorsements. My promotion might not want to promote my fights. Other fighters would have a shit ton of issues, no doubt. Fans would turn on me and eventually, I might be asked to take a dive just so they could give the belt to someone manlier by their standards. These fears weren’t
unfounded. I didn’t know of one MMA fighter who was openly gay. Also, it wasn’t just me I had to think about. Rupert, Barry, my whole crew made money through me, too. I couldn’t let them down. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be, after all. Maybe I was just being selfish in wanting to keep Aiden to myself. I forced him to go back into a closet just to be with me, and for what? A few weekends of shared passion and endless phone calls? That was no life, not for either of us. Rupert was right.
I looked at Rupert. “It’s over,” I said.
Rupert nodded. “Then we can move on from this point.” He slapped me on my knee. “Let me take care of these photos, kid. I want you to focus on your career, that’s what’s most important here.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to do my own investigation, see if anyone saw who dropped these off. In the meantime, try to get your head straight.” He got up and walked out of my hotel room, leaving me alone with those thoughts I wished I didn’t have.
God, I needed a drink.
It had been a week since I let Aiden walk out of my life without so much as a fight. That was seven days of me feeling like I had made the biggest mistake of my fucking life. That was one-hundred and sixty-eight hours of me laying in my bed at night, holding on to the pillow Aiden had slept on at the hotel. I couldn’t shake the feeling of deep regret and I couldn’t help but miss him so damned much.
I sat down on the bench and let Mark, my ju-jitsu coach, tape up my hands. He didn’t know I was gay, but he did know I had something on my mind and it wasn’t about the MMA world.
“You okay, Macio?” Mark asked me. “You don’t look like you’re all here.”
“I’ve just got shit on my mind,” I said.
“Yeah, I bet, that break-up with Kathy was ugly. It was all over the media. Bitches were tripping like you broke up with them personally and shit,” Mark stated.
I snorted with a smirk. “Yeah, I had plenty of hate mail from a few of them.”
Undisputed Page 16
